Even Danny can make mistakes

by Xenia90

Danny isn't ready to accept what he feels for Steve. Slash

English one.

That morning Danny woke up in a house that wasn't his, if you could call "house" the little hole where he lived, he woke up in a bed that wasn't his and with a warm body pressed against his. In half a second between the awakening and awareness of reality Danny crouched a bit 'more against the body behind him, then the memories of the previous night came back, and it was as if someone had shot him. He opened his eyes hoping to be wrong. Instead he saw Steve's bedroom and he felt his harm laying through his chest and his breath in his neck. Danny closed his eyes, he wasn't sure how to feel.

The night before, after they've closed a very tough case, they were at Steve's for a couple of beers. They didn't go to a club, beacuse Danny didn't trust his partner when it comes to wallets. So Danny had wanted to go to Steve's, at least he was sure that his partner has paid for the beers that they were drinkig. They were out on the lanai. After some beers Steve have started to speak abaut his childhood, abaut how he felt after his mother's death when his father has sent him and Mary away on the mainland. Danny's listened in silence, he was surprise. He've never seen his partner drop the mask like this, sometimes Steve told him thinks abaut his past, but he've never spoke abaut his mother before. Suddently he wondered how his life could be, if he haven't met Steve. After the divorce he'd started living in a dream. He talked, he worked, he had dinner with his parents, but he really lived only when he was with Grace. When Rachel had brought her to Hawaii, things became worse, that's why he had decided to move even if he hates the place. He couldn't stay far from his daughter. He needed to see her and not only two times in a year. But then he found himself alone, he was far away from his family and his friends, he didn't have anyone he can count on, he was alone facing the arguments with Rachel. His former partner, Meka, was a good friend, but he wasn't enough to make him feel better. And then Steve had entered his life without permission, like an hurricane He had changed everything. Steve had showed up at his front door, forced him in the Five-0, he had forced his way in his life, Steve had made him shot the first day, but he had changed everything. Steve was insane, he never calls for backups, he threws people in shark cages and always has some granades with him. He's completly reckless and he never respects Miranda, sometimes Steve drives him crazy, but Danny couldn't imagine his life without him. And suddently the thing hits him. He was completly in love with Steve. Usually he would have push the thought away, but he was a little drunk so he just stood up and went close to Steve. And then they were kissing. Steve froze. He didn't pull away and then he deepened the kiss, he opened his mouth and let Danny's tongue in. When they pull apart they were both breathless, and Danny's hands were under Steve's shirt. Steve had looked him in the eyes and said.

- You're drunk.-

- Not too drunk.- Danny had answered kissing him again, and Steve just gave up.

From that moment all Danny could remember was Steve's hands and lips all over his body, the warmth of Steve's body against his. Then he fell asleep. Just before he lost connection with reality Steve had told him he loved him.

Danny opened his eyes, polling away the memories. Suddently the warmth of Steve's body wasn't comfortable anymore, he was feeling like he was in prison. He stayed down for a moment. He was ashamed. He was married, ok, he was diverced. But he had a child, for God's sake. He didn't even want to think abaut how they'd felt if they'd found out. This think's never happend. He stood up, carefull not waking Steve, and get dressed. He would never thought abaut this again. He left.

Steve woke up and he was alone. He had known he was in love with Danny since months now, but he knew he didn't have any chance. Danny was married, he had a daughter, as far as Steve knows he was straight and he had never watched men. He knew that they would never be together and it was ok. He just wanted to be friends and partners. Being a part of Danny's life was enough for him. And then last night Danno kissed him. Steve knew he was drunk, he told him, but Danny answered he wasn't too drunk. Se Steve had let the hope win and just kissed back. He didn't expect to wake up alone. Last night he was happy, infact he was happier then he was since his father had sent him away. He hadn't thought abaut the consequences, or better, he had thought abaut the consequences but Danny had seemed so sure that he would never expect to wake up alone. And he just couldn't let him go like this. He stood up, he dressed and headed to the hole that Danny called "home". He stopped in front of the door, he didn't know what to do. Afeter a little while he knoked When no one answered Steve screamed.

- Damn it, Danny! Open the door! I know you're in there!-

- Go away! I don't want to talk to you right now.- Danny shouted back.

- I'm not going anywhere. You really want to have that conversation through a close door?-

Eventually Danny opend the door and let him in. They stayed silent for a while staring at each other.

- Danny…-

- What? What do you want to say? Have you any idea how I felt this morning when I woke up next to you? I am married! MARRIED! Married, you goti t? How can I tell my daughter that his father is in a relationship with a man? What she will think? How can I look into her eyes without being ashamed of what I did? How could you do that to me, Steve? How could you take advantage of the fact that I was drunk?- Danny screamed ignoring the hurt look in Steve's eyes.

- I didn't… I didn't take advantage of….. You said that you weren't too drunk….-

- Of course. Because you know that drunk people always tell the truth. You Took Advantage Of Me.-

- How can you think….. You don't…..- Steve didn't know what to say. Maybe Danny was right. Maybe he was too drunk. Maybe he didn't want what happened between them. Maybe he had just ruined the most beautiful thing that had happend to him since he was back in Hawaii.

- I don't know what to say. I'll call the Governor, I'll transfer you back to the HPD. Just. You think you can wait till I'll find someone to replace you?-

Danny wanted to speak, but Steve was faster.

- I know that you don't want to work with me, you'll go with Kono or Chin. And… I know that is doesn't matter…but I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Ι didn't mean….- he trailled off, then he turned and walked out of the apartment.

When Steve was gone, Danny fell on the couch, he couldn't understand how that happenend. He didn't want to leave the Five-0, he didn't want to stop working with Steve. He just wanted to forget what had happened, he just wanted to pretended that it never happened, he didn't think the things that he had shouted to Steve. The previous night he had wanted every single moment. Danny lied to Steve. Of course he was worried abaut Grace and Rachel, but his wife was an intelligent woman, she would undestand, and Grace was smart, probabliy she already knew that he cared abaut Steve more than he should. But Steve didn't know this things, Danny hadn't told him any of it. And he didn't told him that last night they were on the same page, that he had wanted every single moment, every single kiss. Danny had hurted Steve just because he was scared. He was scared by the feelings that he had for Steve. Because it was too big, too deep, and after Rachel Danny had promised that he will never let himself fall so deep for someone.

The next morning when Danny arrived at the office, Steve was already at his desk, he was reading some files, and he didn't look at him, when Danny came in. Danny went in his office without saying anything. Chin and Kono looked at each other, there was something strange. When they arrived at the office, Steve was already there, and Steve was never the first, usually he showes up with Danny, bitching abaut something, maybe abaut Danny's tie or the last reckless thing that Steve had done. Chin and Kono liked that, it was normal, it was Ohana. The ice that is breathed in the office that morning made them uncomfortable. Last time Chin had seen that pain on Steve's face they were at Jack's funeral, and last time Kono saw that pain on Danny's face they were speaking abaut Rachel after the football game. At lunch Kono and Chin went away from the office, hoping that Steve and Danny talked to each other. But when they came back they met Steve and he said.

- We have a case. A judge was kindnapped. Chin, you and Danny go to the crime scene. Kono, you and I to the family.-

Kono and Chin started to worry. Steve and Danny hadn't talk with each other all the morning, and now they didn't work together. Something very serious must be happened during that weekend.

- Okay boss.- answered Kono.

When Kono and Steve were in the car she decided to find out what was going on. Chin wouldn't have done that, privacy was almost everything to him, and keeping a secret was a duty, otherwise he would have told her that he wasn't dirty, he would have told her who he was protecting.

- Boss?-

- Yeah?-

- Is everything ok?

Steve frowned but he didn't answer. Kono was uncomfortable, but she dind't give up. Her family was in trouble and she wanted to fix the situation.

- I mean…. Is everything ok with Danny?-

An awkward silence filled the car.

- Boss?- she asked again when he didn't answer.

Steve sighed.

- Everything is ok, Kono.-

- I didn't believe you, you know that, right?-

Steve sighed again and didn't say anything.

- Danny?- Chin asked while he and Danny were going to the crime scene.

- What?- Danny answered without looking away from the road.

They had drove in silence for almost five minutes, Danny hadn't said a word and Chin was starting to worry.

- Is everything ok?-

Danny said "Yes", and Chin frowned.

- I mean… Is everything ok with Steve?-

- Everything is ok. Now tell me something abaut the judge.-

The case was easy, it was closed before evening. No one get shot and anything blowed up, but the communication between the team was little, Steve and Danny did'nt talk to each other, not even a single word. Chin and Kono were carefull around them, they wanted to know what had ruined their friendship. Kono thought that maybe she knew. She had noticed that there was more than simple friendship between Steve and Danny. Danny's jelousy against Nick Taylor wasn't normal just like Steve's rage against Rachel when she threatened Danny with his visitation right. After less then a month with the Five-0 Chin and Kono have tried to guess who will do the first move. Kono thinks that it was up to Danny, because Steve had to deal with a marriage and a daughter. They didn't think that something could have gone wrong. Now Kono thought that something had gone wrong and it was all Danny's fault, because everytime he looked at Danny there were guilt in his eyes, while in Steve's eyes there were only pain. When Chin and Kono were alone at office she said.

- What do you think had happened?-

- Probably nothing, cuz. Everything gonna be ok.-

- Oh… I don't know…. Did you look at them? I think we have to do something.-

- No. Absolutely. Their business.-

- But… Chin…-

Chin shaked his head.

The situation hadn't change for almost a month, the Five-0 had many cases and Steve and Danny went on working with Kono and Chin. Danny had thought to apologize, to tell Steve that he had wanted everything and that he still wanted him, wanted them. But then he had thought abaut the consequences. Steve loved him back so he wanted to start a relationship, and they would have to say to Chin and Kono and Rachel and Grace and Mary Anne and his own family that they are a couple. And Danny was afraid. He loved Steve so much that it hurts and he couldn't let that feelings going any deep, because he was terrified of losing Steve. He decided not to even try because he was terrified of suffering again. For his part Steve had thought abaut that night, he had remembered what happened so many times, but he wasn't able to convince himself that he had took advantage of Danny. He wanted to talk to Danny, but he wasn't sure of himself, after all maybe Danny was right, maybe Danny didn't want him, didn't want them. Steve loved him so much. He didn't transferred him back to the HPD because he couln't bear the thought of not seeing him every day. So they didn't do anything. One morning Danny went to the HQ and found Steve in his office.

- I find your replacement. As soon as possible I'll speak with the Governor and you'll be back with the HPD-

The situation had become hard to Steve, he couldn't bear seeing Danny every day without speaking with him, without touching him. He missed Danny so much. When danny didn't say anything Steve turned and walked out of his office. Three minutes later they receveid a call, the Governor asked him to help the police catching some drug dealers.

They arrived at the warehouse before the police and their suspects were going away. Like always the Five-0 decided to go on without backups. Soon the warehouse was full of screaming and shots and bodies. Everithing was quiet when one of the dealers showed up from the place where he was hiding and shot. Steve turned and saw that the bullet would hit Danny, so he shot the man and he threw himself on the fire line, pushing Danny out of danger. Steve felt a sharp pain in his side and fell to the ground.

Danny stood up and turned, looking for Steve. The man had saved his life.

- Steve!- Danny screamed rushing by his side and pressing his hands on the wound, triyng to stop the bleeding. Steve was becoming paler every second.

- Kono! Call an ambulance! Now!- he screamed to Kono who was looking at Steve with tears in her eyes.

- Danno…..- Steve was trying to say something. - …. Are you ok?... You…are…not…hurt-

Danny just stared at him for a few seconds.

- You're insane! You're bleeding! Do you understand that? You're hurt! Damn it, Steve! You're hurt! You're aware of that? Or your SEAL training didn't let you feel the pain? You're hurt! How do you dare worry abaut me?- Danny was screaming to hide his concern.

- You.. are…more ….important.- Steve coughed spilling blood on Danny's shirt.

Steve was in a coma for almost a month. The bulled started a serious internal bleeding that was hard to stop, the surgery had last for hours and Steve almost died three times. For a month Chin and Kono had lived more in the hospital than in their own home. Mary Anne never went away from her brother's bed. She couldn't believe that Steve could died, she just couldn't loose him too. Danny stayed in the hospital waiting room during the surgery, staring at Steve's blood on his hands and shirt. When the doctor went out Danny and Mary were the first going to him. But when Danny knew that Steve was still alive he had turned and left. He never came back. Rachel took Grace to see her Uncle Steve. Since Steve was hurt Danny had spent the whole day at the office, didn't speak with anyone, Chin and Kono had tried to talk to him, but he had pushed them away. No one knew that every night Danny went to Steve, he flashed his badge and forced the nurse to let him see his partner. He didn't like to see Steve like this, his partner was pale and weak and Danny knew that Steve was strong, he never showed his weakness. Steve saved his life, it was Danny's fault if he was struggling for his life. Danny felt sick everytime he tought abaut the last words he said to Steve. Danny lied to him. He made him believe that he hadn't wanted what happened that night, everymorning he saw the pain in Steve's eyes, but he didn't do anything, because he was scared. Danny was scared of loosing him and now Steve was dying. And Danny couldn't let him die without knowing that he loved him. So everynight Danny went to Steve, sat in a chair next to him and watched him, hoping that he would open his eyes and smile at him. Hoping that Steve just came back to him. One night, just before leaving, he said:

- Come on, Steve. Wake up. Just wake up for me, babe. Please. –

Then he kissed him on the forehead and left.

The next morning Steve opened his eyes for the first time after a month. The sun hit him, forcing him to closed his eyes. When he opend them again he searched the room while the memories of the shooting hit his brain.

- Ehi. Thank God. You wake up!.- said Mary almost crying.

Steve took her hand.

- You sholdn't be here. It's dangerous. ….-

- Kono called me. She said you've been shot. I'm your sister, Steven. Nothing can keep me away from you when you're hurt.

Steve smiled. He missed her so much.

- I'll go tell the others that you're awake. I had to make them go home. They were worried.-

- They're mine… they're our family now.-

- I know.- Mary said.

- Mary. Wait a minute. Danny? He's ok? He wasn't hurt, right?-

Mary hoped that Steve didn't ask abaut Danny. She didn't know how to tell him that he never showed up.

- He's ok. You saved his life.-

Steve smiled and closed his eyes, he was tired.

- Good.- he said and then fell aspleep.

Chin and Kono went to Steve in the afternoon. He was awake and he was talking with Mary. She wanted to come back.

- Ehi Boss.- Kono was smiling. – You scared us to death, you know that?-

Steve smiled hugging her.

- I'm glad to see you guys.-

- We're glad too…. We were so worried.- said Chin

- I know. I'm sorry.-

- You're ok now. This is all that matters.- said Kono.

- I'll go home tomorrow. Mary will stay here, to take care of me.-

- Yeah… Well. Mary, if you need something….- said Kono.

- Thanks guys. I'll need help with him, you know.- answered Mary

After they left Steve fell asleep again. He woke up when he heard Grace's voice.

- Uncle Steve? Aunt Mary told me you woke up.- said Grace. She was standindgnear his bed and she looked scared.

Steve smiled.

- Hi Grace! Come here.-

- You ok, Uncle Steve? Can I hug you?-

- I'm ok now, honey. Of course you can hug me.- he answred opening his arms.

Grace climbed on the ben and hugged him tight.

- I was so scared. But Danno kept saying that you are a Super SEAL and that you'll be ok.-

- I'm sorry I scared you. But Danny's right. I'm ok know. I'll go home tomorrow.-

- Can I come to see you?- asked Grace.

- Anytime, honey, anytime.-

Then he turned and saw Rachel in the doorway.

- Thanks. For bring her here, I mean. Thank you so much.-

- You're welcome Commander. I'm glad you're ok.- answered Rachel.

- I asked Danno. He said no. He said that seeing you like this could scare me…. But mummy….. well she brought me here.- smiled Grace.

- Your mum is very nice, honey. I wanted to see you to.-answered Steve And then he listened the girl telling him abaut his school and everything happened to her during that month.

The next morning when Steve arrived home he found all of his friends waiting for him. There were Kono, Chin, Grace with Rachel, Catherine and even Kamekona, but not Danny. Steve smiled and thanked everyone. Mary watched him. She was worried. Steve never mentioned Danny since he asked if he was hurt. When they were alone she decided to find out what happened.

- Steven?- she said with that tone. The tone that Steve hated. Because that tone means trouble.

- Mary Anne?-

- What's going on between you and Danny?-

- Everything's ok. Why you think something happened?-

- Are you kidding me, Steve? Or you think I'm stupid? You've been in a hospital for a month. Thirty days….-

- Mary, I know that there are thirty days in a month….-

- That's funny, Steven, really. Like I was saying….. You've been in a coma for a month. And he never showed up. Never, Steven. And this is strange. And then you woke up and you didn't ask anything, abaut him….-

- That's not true… I asked how he was…-

- Stop it Steve. That doesn't count.-

- Why?-

- Because you didn't ask why he wasn't there. You only asked if he was ok.-

- Only if….-

- No! Steven stop doing that. Something bother you. I wanna know. I'm your sister, I can help. So tell me what's going on.-

When Steve didn't answer and switched on the TV Mary sat in chair right in front of him.

- Just to be clear. I'm going to stay here staring you until you tell me everything.-

Less than twenty minutes later Stave started talking. When he finished his sister stayed quiet for a while and then smiled.

- Oh I knew it, Steve. I knew it!-

- You knew what, Mary?-

- You two. That you liked each other. I knew it.-

- Did you ear what I said? He didn't want, Mary. We haven't talked since that night. I love him, ok? But he didn't feel the same.-

Mary's heart broke when she heard the sadness in Steve's voice. Her brother was a good man, he deserved happiness. In that moment she hated Danny.

- Steve, trust me, Danny's just scared. You should talk to him. –

- He doesn't want to talk to me, Mary…..-

Steve stood up, but Mary stopped him.

- You didn't do anything wrong, you know that, right?-

But Steve dind't know. He was suffering and he felt guilty, all because of Danny. Mary had never hated someone as much as Danny. She wanted to kick him hard, but she knew she couldn't. Mary hoped that Danny would talk to Steve. She really hoped, because her brother loved him, and he deserved to be happy.

Fifteen days passed. Danny never showed up. That week end Grace showed up at Steve's door with Rachel right behind her. She run in the house and threw herself in Steve's arms. They spent the day on the beach in front of Steve's house, with Kono, Chin and Mary. Everyone missed Danny, but neither Rachel or Grace or Steve said anything. Mary's rage grew as she saw her brother suffer everyday a little more. Chin was worried, he started to understand that this time the situation was really bad, he was scared of loosing his ohana. Kono decided to go to Danny. She knew that it was all his fault, because Steve looked betrayed, but Danny looked guilty. So at the end of the afternoon she went to Danny instead home.

- Danny! Open the door! It's Kono! I know you're here!- she screamed knocking – I'm not going anywhere! Open the door!-

After few seconds Danny opend the door and let her in.

- You're just like Steve, you know that?-

Kono grinned.

- What's going on between you and Steve?-

- Nothing.-

- Come on, Danny. I'm not stupid. Steve was in a hospital for almost a moth and you never showed up! That's not normal.-

- I went to him when you weren't there.-

Kono just looked at him.

- Why you don't want to talk to him?-

- That's not true. –

- Ok. Look. I don't wanna know what happened. You don't wanna tell me. But let me say that. Steve's suffering. And he's suffering because of you. He don't want us to see that, because he's a SEAL… but he's suffering. A lot. And you're suffering too. And you're my friends, both of you. And if things keep going like this Steve will send you away. And I don't want that. Because at that point I'll have to choose between you two. And I won't be able to choose you. Because some way I know this is all your fault. So please Danny, just do something. You're going to loose all of us, not only Steve. Think abaut it.- Kono said.

Five minutes later Danny was at Steve's. Mary Anne opened the door and when she looked at him Danny understood that she knew everything.

- Can I talk to Steve, please?-

Mary looked at him. She was angry. Of coure she'll let him in eventually, but she wanted him to suffer. Just a little bit.

- No. I don't think you can, Detective Williams.- she answeed and then she stepped back slamming the door.

Danny froze. He clearly saw Mary throught the door.

- Mary. Please. Can I come in? I really need to talk to Steve. Please. – he begged.

Mary just ignored him. After almost ten minutes she opened the door.

- Don't dare hurt him like this again, Danny. I'm serious. He's on the lanai.-

- Thank you Mary.-

Danny found Steve sitting on his chair, he was staring at the ocean and he looked sad.

- Steve?- Danny called sitting next to him

-Danny? What are you doing here? –

- Thank you, Steve. You saved my life.-

- I couldn't let you die. You have a daughter… I'll do it again. You know.- then Steve took a deap breath –On Monday I'll give the Governor the paper. And you'll be back with the HPD. You will not see me again.-

- I don't want to leave the Five-0. And I don't want to work with Chin..-

- Danny…. I can't go on like this. I could let you work with Kono…but I can't go on like this. I miss you Danny. I can't see you every day without talking to you…-

- I don't want to work with Kono.-

Steve frowned.

-What are you saying, Danny? I don't understand…..-

- That night…. I wasn't drunk. I wanted you. I wanted everything-

Steve just stared at him. He spent the last few months trying to convince himself that he took advantage of Danny. He knew he hadn't any chance.

- What are you saying, Danny?-

- I'm saying that I'm an idiot. I was scared. I was terrified of loosing you. Ι didn't want to suffer again. But I almost lost you. You almost died. I'm so sorry, Steve. Can you forgive me?- Danny said and then he kissed Steve. – I'm saying that I love you. Even if you drive me crazy. Even if someday you'll get us killed. I love you. Because you're a good friend. Because you risked your life to save me, because you love Grace and she loves you. I love you, Steven. I should have told you before. I'm so sorry.-

Steve smiled and kissed him.

- I love you to. I love you so much Danno….-

- Will you ever stop calling me like that? It's private. Only Grace…-

Steve just grinned and kissed him again.

When Mary heard them going in Steve's bedroom she just smiled. Her brother deserved all the happiness that Danny could give him. And after all she can always use the tie to kill him, if he'll hurted Steve again.

The next morning they went to work together, bitching like always. In her office Kono smiled and took the chips, watching them bitching was always funny, often even better than a movie. In his office Chin smiled. He was happy. His ohana was still together. Besides Kono owed him fifty. Everything was normal. Well normal for Steve and Danny.