******I can tell you I've seen the movie like eighty times and thought I could do something perfectly like it.*********
There I lay in my bed listening to the horrible annoying sound of my alarm clock blurring in my ear. I wanted to just stay here and die but I knew I couldn't so I dragged myself out of bed and slammed my fist into the clock shutting it off. I walked slowly across the carpet dragging my feet feeling the soft fibers, once in the bathroom I closed the door and dug out my feeling bag from behind the sink. Opening the bag I saw a pile of razers and bandades, quickly I grabbed a razer and pulled up my shorts showing my thigh. I brought the blade to myskin and ran it across feeling the air come throught the cut, and I sighed when there was a knock at the door. I jumped and dropped the blooded blade on the ground as my dad spoke.
"Babygirl I know it's your first day of high school and you might be nervous so do you want a ride?" My dad's voice was sweet and nice he was my best friend when I was normal months ago but now I never talked to him.
"Yeah you know dad the bus is coming so I'ma take it maybe another time." I said it with guilt and heard the sound of him trudge down the steps and I sighed. I just wish I could tell them, i thought to myself. But pushed out the thought and brushed my teeth, after i cleaned up the sink and took a shower I went back to my room and into my closet. I used to always look my best stylish, fun, in date but now I didn't care want I put together. I I grabbed a black hooded shirt and ripped skinnies and threw them on quickly, I glanced in my mirror at my hair and sighed. It used to have color and definition with light brown highlights but now it was flat and the colors mixed into an ugly brown color, sighing I put my hair in a ponytail and grabbed my bag. I rushed down the stairs and to the kitchen I saw my dad but walked pasted him and grabbed a green apple off the table and bit into it as I went for the door.
"Have a nice day babygirl!" My dad shouted after me but I knew I wouldn't. I walked out the door and onto the patio and down the steps to the ledge of the wall around my house and sat down. Just as I did I heard the sound of a slamming door I turned to see my ex-best friend Stephenie coming down her steps she saw me and froze in midair, with that glance I went back to the day we stopped talking. It was the week after it happened and Steph had came to my house bacuse i hadn't seen or returned her calls.
"Bee just tell me what's wrong." She pleaded.
"It's nothing..." I whispered.
"No something is off with you you're never this quiet even when you whisper!"
"Steph you don't understand."
"Then help me to understand Bee!" I felt the voice in my throat try to yell out for her help but my fear wouldn't let it.
"Would you let it go."
"Noo I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong!" She yelled.
I was full of anger and exploded for a minute, "Would you drop it, it's none of your buissness you stuborn BITCH!" Once I said it a weight of guilt dropped on my head when she jumped off my bed and slammed my door behind her, "Stephenie."
I flashed back and saw the bus coming and gripped my ipod and played 'New Divide by Linkin' Park' and highered it on full blast.
Tell me what you think and comment!
I have seven notebooks, a smelly bus seat, and a quease that's making me want to throw up. I took the seat in the back as Steph sat in the front I glanced at her for a secound until she looked at me and gave me a dirty look. Slowly the bus began to pile up and I saw all my old friends Jennifer, Nikki, Jamie, and of coarse Steph, they all hate for how I treated Steph so I lost all of them. When i though we had picked up the last person the bus came to a screeching holt and made me flop forward hitting my head on the seat in front of me, I held my head as kids next to me laughed and pointed. Looking up I saw a girl get on the bus with straight medium brown hair unlike mine, a thin figure, and not to much but had makeup. Slight mascara, blush, purple eyeliner (which I used to love wearing), and bright pink lipgloss, she was wearing a jean skirt, boots, and a hotlister top. I noticed I was staring when I heard a girl across from me whisper to her friend 'lesbian', for the record I'm not gay or bi well not that I know of up until last summer I dated guys no chance to be with girls. She came to the back and smiled down at me.
"Hi can I sit here?" Her voice was sweet and fun sounding a little lower then how I used to talk but mostly the same.
"Umm sure." I stammered as she sat.
"I'm Ciara I'm new I guess that's obvious. Me and my parents moved heer over the summer to that house right there." She pointed to a deep blue house with an amazing garden. I watched as her smile deepen as I looked at her, "So what's your name?"
"Ummm...Bianca." She shocked me the way she was so nice, "Maybe you should go sit up in the front with the other outgoing and popular people."
She looked stunned as I said it, "Why?"
"Because if you were here in 8th grade you would know I'm like the social outcast..." I said it and hung my head.
"I honestly aman outcast to I don't like the populars they're all stuck up and I don't care if no one likes you. I can't understand why you seem really nice and maybe we could be friends." Her smile was warm and it amazed me how she wanted to be friends.
"Maybe." I looked away and out in my head phones playing the music again. Within a few minutes the bus had arrived at the schol and me and Ciara got up as I walked behind her she walked with a sort of sway to her hips. When we stepped off she disappeared and I knew right away she might join the in-crowd and never talk to me again.
"Heyy!" I turned to see Ciara and her smile, "Come on Bee!" She grasped my hand I would have pulled back but when she called me 'Bee' it reminded me of how it was when I had my ex-besties. She pulled me with her to go enter the school when someone yelled.
"FREAK!" I looked up at everyone laughing at me but Ciara stuck up her middle finger and kept pulling me.
"Don''t mind them they're just being asses." We went with the group of new kids and as we walked I noticed that people were staring with shock I knew by heart the stare people sent to me and the one they were giving me now was not it. I followed their eyes down to my hand which was still looped with Ciara's I completely forgot we where holding hands, it never even bothered me so I left it there. As the tour ended we got our schedules and went to our classes, since I had sicence first I couldn't stick with Ciara she had chemistry we parted ways and I walked down the hall. I noticed no one was in the hall and knew I was late.
"Stop!" I froze as I saw a woman standing in the hall with a clipboard and bullhorn, "Come here" I began to jog to her "hurry it up now I haven't all day." I finally came to her and she looked at me in disgust.
"Good mornin..." She held up her hand.
"It's good morninggggg now it's five minutes past first period what's your name?" She took out a pen as her glare bore through me
"Bianca James...?" I was able to stammmer out.
"Hmm well James this is your first warning now get to class." She handed me a ticket like paper as I scoffed and kept walking until Icame to a door that said 'Science 183' just like my schedule and I walked in to see a class full of kids and they all glared, some snickered, and others smiled at comments their friends said.
"Hello sweetie what's your name?" Said a teacher with glassesand short.
"Bianca James." I said it lowly this time as others pointed.
"Oh wellum who's your partner" he looked around "who doesn't have a partner yet?" A guy on the other side of the room raised his hand. "Ah yes and your name is?"
"Daniel Peters." He said sounding upset, the teacher motioned me to the chair next to Daniel and I walked as someone laughed at me as I walked by. I took my seat next to Daniel and he looked at me and raisedhis hand in a way, I straighted my frown as to say hi back. He put hs hand down and sighed I put my hands in my lap and sat like the the rest of class.
Six periods later I was heading to Math with Ciara and felt even worse then I had this morning because everyone was laughing behind my back. When i stepped into the class I saw her the teacher that yelled at me in the hall I turned and tried to follow Ciara to the back but she stopped me.
"Oh no you don't James you sit right were I can make sure you don't start trouble." I frowned as she said it and went to the seat in front of the class and she stared at me before turning her attention to the class, "Now we're going to talk about percents and fractions." Just like every year since middle school they say we'll move to more advanced stuff but always go back to fractions. "Now who can give me a problem for 1/2?"
A girl raised her hand, "How about how half of Bianca is freakish and the other half is psycotic!" Everyone in the class was laughing when I turned in shock, i saw Ciara jump out of her chair.
"How about how half this world is actually real while the other half is bitchy and I bet you would know alot about that huh Carrie?" I almost dropped my jaw at how Ciara stood up for me she saw me and winked but turned her attention back to Carrie.
"Miss Summers I'll not have that kind of talk in my class!" Said the teacher which I found out from the board who's name was Mrs. Liman.
"Or maybe how half the boys in this school are in your pants while the other half is in your mouth!" Ciara shouted back as Carrie stood up and went over to her.
"Miss Ruft sit down and Miss Summers it's either you take your seat or leave my class!" Mrs. Liman screamed i turned back to Ciara and saw her grab her bag and bolt out the room before she shot me a look and motioned me to follow her I grabbed my bag and got up. The teacher shot me a look butI left right away to catch up to Ciara. Who was standing against the door to the stairs.
"Come on we're ditching class till lunch." She grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door and up the stairs to the roof and bust through the door, "So you okay?"
I looked at her as we sat down next to the door, "I'm fine." She put her hand on my hand and smiled with pity.
"Don't worry you have me for the year and I know we're already great friends." Her smile grew bigger and her cheeks grew red, we sat in silence for a long time looking at the school grounds and baking in the sun when I had to say it.
"Ciara why do you want to be friends with me?" She looked shocked or confused maybe I should talk a little higher around her.
"Because you're not fake like everyone around here you're different." She leaned in to me and I guessed I knew what she was doinng because I leaned in too. Our lips met and her lips were so soft the lipgloss she had on tasted like strawberry, and made her lips really smooth, for what seemed like an eternity the bell rang. I pulled back to see my hands on her side and her hands around my neck the bell really interrupted something I wanted to continue. "So you ready t go home?"
"I guess." I stood up and pulled her along with me, as we walked down the stairs I kept a look out for teachers as Ciara pulled us through the doors we ran to the bus and jumped on as it pulled away. We got stares and snickers as we made our way to the back. When everyone got off the bus it was me and Ciara that were last, "So I guess I'll see you later?"
"Deffinatley I'll see you tomorrow!" She gave my cheek a kiss and ran off the bus. I sat there until we came to my house I walked off the bus and went into my house. Just like always the house was quiet because no one was home i sighed and went to my room.