Disclaimer: Nop, not mine.

Summary: First Class AU: Charles/Erik fluff, Pre-slash. Letting go of someone you love is never easy, even when holding on hurts so bad.

Characters: Charles & Erik

A/N: After a couple of days musing about it, I still couldn't reconcile the Erik who was at Charles' side during 70% of the movie, the one that protected him when they crashed on the beach, with the one that was capable of leaving him like that.

Sooo, I just started to write this. It was intended to be one shot. But I'll be posting a 2-3 more chapters.

P.S. English is not my native language xp,

Code: Thoughts / "Mind Dialogues" / " Normal Dialogues"

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Axis

"But at least…

You can do no wrong

In my eyes"

Hearing Damage - Tom Yorke

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Have I failed you my friend?

I think I did…

After all, it was me who gave the last push you needed to reach the mastery of your power… the last push you needed to complete your revenge.

Time relativity. A very groovy fact.

It seems it takes an eternity before I finally land on the sand; just one second later, I can feel you are already by my side… but then again, it seems hours before Moira's intense struggle to breath drags part of my mind back to reality.

You were right after all, my friend… I was arrogant.

I was arrogant enough to believe that I alone could soothe all your pain… that I could erase all your anger and point you in the right direction.

It was easy for me to believe. As maybe you have already realized, I prefer to believe in people goodness.

So… yeah, as you already said, I was also naive.

Naive enough to lay all my hopes for you, in the good I had felt hidden somewhere within your mind…

It can't be helped… can it?

I think it can't.

Even now, as I'm still able to feel that coin slipping slowly through my head. Now that I see that my hands are also tainted with Shaw's blood…I'm not able to see you as the weapon you claim to be.

No my friend. You are not a weapon. You are much more than a simple piece of lifeless metal…

Your whispers drag me back to reality. I look at you; a part of me listening every single word you breathe…

Why are you using that freaking helmet?

Why are you hiding behind the shadow you came to hate so much?

You move, and I can feel your hand coming to rest against my heart.

I can't see your eyes…

I can't… I can't reach you…

I can't reach you, but you already know this, don't you Erik?

"We want the same thing…"

I swallow as pain sears again through my broken body, and although I'm pretty sure you still keep your hold on me… suddenly, I feel so far away from you.

I smile, sadness and bitterness written all over my face, "Oh my friend. I'm sorry, but we do not." As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know I'm hurting you… deeply…

Time slows around us, and we stare at each other for several seconds. It is grey warring blue…fierceness battling calmness. It is friendship trying to overcome the fresh deep wounds that now are tearing us apart.

Erik, don't go where I cannot follow you.

I gather all the strength I have left and I reach out with one of my arms, trying to grab the cold piece of metal that is standing between us.

Please…

You stop me… again, grabbing my wrist firmly… but as I feel myself falling back into despair, you take my hand closer to your lips, seconds later, I can feel the warmness of your breath caressing the coldness of my fingers.

Please Erik…

You tighten your hold around me while you levitate the helmet, removing it from your head.

Relief.

A single tear rolls down my cheek… the naivety in me, wants to believe there is still hope…that not all is lost.

I stare into your eyes… reading, searching; you merely nod, leaning closer to me, your forehead comes to rest against mine.

I focus and I start reaching out for you hesitantly.

Deep layers of rage and hate welcome me, but they are easy to overstep. I already know where to look, and it is a matter of seconds before I finally reach the brightest corner. Something has changed. This place is no longer held as a simple set of forgotten memories. You had turned it into the very core between your rage and your calmness.

Memories swing around me, and I notice there is a new one: a memory of someone holding you through cold and darkness.

You are not alone… Erik, you're not alone.

Soon, I realize that I'm hearing my own voice… I'm hearing my own voice through a memory that is now being cherished deep in to your heart… next to the other most treasured ones.

I close my eyes, letting the tendrils of my psyche anchor me to the realm you have created.

It's so beautiful Erik.

It is. It feels warm…and so soothing, that I shrink at the perspective of returning to the agony of my own body.

I can feel your smile, as you realize what I'm doing. You try to cradle me with your mind, as if I was another of your precious memories…but as you are able to perceive the vestige of my fear, more feelings start echoing through your mind.

Guilt. Regret.

"Erik…"

"S–sorry…"

"Don't, Erik…"

"I–I'm…so sorry."

"Don't be…"

"I didn't–" You swallow trying to drown a sob, "It wasn't supposed to be like this…"

"A lot of things are not supposed to be."

I'm forced to let go of your mind; my strength is leaving me, and the connection that is binding us breaks before I realize it. After some seconds my hand drops to the sand.

"Charles! No!" You shake me slightly, trying to coerce an answer from me. "I want–… I need you by my side…" Don't walk away from me Charles.

Although my eyes remain closed I'm able to hear your silent plea.

Not that I could anyway my friend.

"CHARLES!…"

I forgot you can't hear me anymore inside your mind.

"I–I… I'm not going… anywhere Erik…"

It's a mere whisper, but I use my most convincing calm-your-mind tone, trying to soothe your fear and give you the strength you so desperately need.

Until now, it had been so easy to give it. To be the strongest one.

For you.

For the rest of the team.

But now, that I find myself lying in the middle of this beach… as helpless as I've never been, I have to admit to myself that I'm starting to feel freaking scared to death.

No. I-I'm not that strong…

There is pain again… and my hand tightens its grip around yours…

I am not.

"I'm here… Charles…"

Your voice anchors me, I force myself to open my eyes to look at you, there is worry and concern written all over your face and I start to wonder if at some point, I started broadcasting my own thoughts. After some seconds something changes within your eyes…

Fear and concern turns into purpose.

"I will make everything alright. I promise."

As you keep the secure hold on me, I can feel your power, radiating through the air. Seconds later a thin layer of metal lands softly beside me.

"I will need to move you a little…stay still."

I barely nod, and I try my best to do as I was asked.

The improvised stretcher starts sliding slowly beneath my body, at the very same time; Erik starts to slip my body over it. Unfortunately as he rearranges my legs, my weight comes to rest again fully against my back, and I can't stop the shuddering gasp that rips through my throat.

"Charles!"

Pain and six waves of concern hit me at the same time, stunning me. I try to catch my breath and fight against the darkness that threatens to leave me unconscious.

"Charles!"

I focus on the eyes that are staring down at me with concern…deep grey eyes.

"…HERC2 mutation…" I state between gasps, "…very common in Central and Easter–aaagh… Europe."

I hear a couple of weakly chuckles and I'm able to feel someone else coming closer and kneeling by my side…

Is that… Raven? Moira?

"Hold on Charles…"

Erik's voice.

I feel that familiar hand coming to rest again against my heart, "I'll do… my utmost…" I barely whisper and just then I let myself slip into unconsciousness.

TBC

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Thanks a lot to my beta: ThaBlackPages for betaing and editing this chapter.

Edited: February 20, 2012.