It wasn't the same this time, really. Things happen and people change- demons change. Why not? If you scrub at a soul long enough, peel off the layers of misery and pain, do you expect them to be the same as they were?
Ruby hits top side a little after Gadreel leaves Sam. Thankfully, he's healed enough to walk. This doesn't mean much. Dean doesn't let him leave bed for two weeks. The not-so-demon is roaming, screaming for answers and begging for an explanation.
"Why am I alive? Why do I feel guilt?" She spat out at Crowley. "Most importantly, why the hell am I stuck in my same body?"
He tells her that an answer will require some payment, but he's lying, he doesn't have any answers. Frankly, Ruby's ordeal scares him. It's disgusting, inhumane, and plain gross. To get her off his back he comes up with a generic answer: to kill the Winchesters, a common task to barter. The request is believable, but probably too difficult to actually complete.
She refused on account of her new emotions. The things that were twisting inside of her, yelling obscenities and cursing her name. Some nights were simply broken. Pathetic. Pasty motel rooms and cracked thoughts, fingers inches away from a blade.
Three months in, Ruby bruises. It was simply a trip by the rug, slamming her arm into the sharp bed frame. Black and blotchy purple spread through the small circle of skin. The thing doesn't heal for at least a week and a half.
Fast forward one year. She starts hunting again, deciding killing things might take away the guilt and the questions. Dean and Sam run into her on a job. It's only two seconds before the short-angsty-one has her pinned against the cement wall. He expects some snarky remark, or a venom filled insult. Instead, she passes out from the impact and crashes to the floor.
Ruby wakes on a bed in the bunker. To her, it's a foreign place that she doesn't understand. It must be a motel room? The last thing she remembers is the Winchesters- and they would have her in chains at this point. Both of them walk cautiously through the door, not a sense of anger in their eyes. Maybe some uncomfortable shifting.
"We're sorry for attacking you. We wanted the demon that was riding you… A very long time ago." Sam swallows hard.
Ruby listens to their words, but shows little reaction. She's still struck in shock by their faces. Why does Sam look so broken?
"Being a hunter I'm not surprised you were able to cope. We did all the tests while you were down." The younger brother continues.
Well, I am a hunter. They could figure out that much, seeing me killing demons and all.
Dean cuts in. "But, last time we remember, we stabbed you. Well, we stabbed Ruby. But still you. Got any ideas what happened?" He raises an eyebrow, leaning on the wall.
"Where am I?" She asks them, attempting to avoid the choice of lie or being honest.
"Somewhere safe. Dean wanted to bring you into a motel room, but, after killing you I thought we might treat you a little better." Sam smiled weakly.
Silence fills the room. Dean grows impatient, waiting for some kind of response. Ruby decides she will tell them the truth. Lying would just hurt too badly.
"I'm human." She finally says.
A scoff tumbles off Dean's throat. "Well, obviously. You would be dead by now if you weren't." He looks at her oddly.
"No, you're not getting it. I'm Ruby. I'm human. At least, now I am."
You're going to die now, but at least you can die honest.
She prepares for impact, flinching at nothing. At nothing? Shouldn't Dean be lurching by now? Sam tearing her apart? Ruby opens her eyes to find the both of them bristling with anger, but unmoving. "Is it really you?" Sam growls out.
"It's really me." She strangles her voice to speak, but the tears are coming to quickly.
Then the door is slammed and they're gone. Probably planning my death.
Twenty four hours pass before they let her eat and wash off the blood from the first four times they try to confront her, get some answers or lash out in fists, she starts crying. Never words. The two of them leave out of awkwardness. How do you handle a crying enemy who might not exactly be an enemy anymore?
It's not until the fifth confrontation that they actually get some real answers. She tells them everything that happened, the emotions and the guilt. One thing is left out: an apology. Ruby wants to say sorry more than anything, pour out her soul and beg for forgiveness. Sam would just take it as an insult. And he knows that's why, too.
After some arguing and reasoning, the boys could see that she was simply not the same person she was. There was too much pain in her eyes. After three weeks she is reluctantly let go. They ask her what she will do, and she says that she has a life outside this imprisonment.
"Change clothes." The apparently-human gestures to the material she has been wearing for three weeks.
Dean couldn't help but chuckle before quickly cutting his amusement off- they were still on cold terms.
It was silent for a few seconds. Ruby moved towards Sam, putting her hand up to touch his face, but he pulls away in a squirm. Her fingers curl into something of a 'sorrowful' fist (if that makes any sense) then drop to her side. She refuses to lose his gaze.
"I'm sorry." The words are stern.
Like that, she's gone.
It's two months later. They run into each other on another job. Ruby agrees to let them have it, but not before saving both of their lives from an angry skin-walker. A small thanks is given.
Nothing short of a week passes. The Winchesters are sure that she's following them, but they change their minds when she saves Dean's life- again. This time from a demon. Yet another thank-you. They aren't quite so cold, anymore.
Half a month and Dean returns the favor, saving her from a vamp in Wyoming.
It goes like that. Over and over, each time a little closer, somebody saves a life, a thank you is uttered, and they're gone. It's usually Ruby who does the saving. The constant run-ins are getting a little eery, but Sam seems to look forward to them more each time. So does Dean. They never admit it.
It's three years, thirty one saved lives later, and they have an accidental meet up in a bar. Ruby's got some cute blonde chick with her. She tells them that they have been hunting with each other on and off for five months now. Something of a partnership, really. She says her name is Tara and leaves out the backstory. Dean asks why she didn't mention her, and Ruby admits that she wanted her off their radar. The four of them end up talking for an hour or two. It's not nearly as cold as it used to be. One might even call it a friendship. 'Tara,' despite Ruby's warnings, walks off with Dean. Sam and the new-human are stuck at the bar clicking their fingers. They talk about what happened. Ruby says she's sorry a million times. Sam thinks it's funny- cute, even. The mere thought makes him freeze up. For 'hunting reasons' they exchange numbers and a quick arm squeeze before parting ways (after Tara and Dean return).
It's only been a month and he starts to get anxious. What if something happens to her? That's ridiculous, quit saying that. Anything could happen to any hunter. Even you.
And it has.
[TEXT:TO RUBY] Are you safe?
A little bit of an odd question. Hopefully Ruby would understand. It's only ten minutes before she responds.
[TEXT: TO SAM] Yes. Are you?
Okay, so it wasn't that weird. Good.
[TEXT: TO RUBY] Yes.
They don't talk for a week. Sam jumps a little when he reads Ruby's name on his screen.
[TEXT: TO SAM] Theres a team of demons in NYC. How do you feel about going north?
He couldn't help but smile.
[TEXT: TO RUBY] Sounds promising. How many?
[TEXT: TO SAM] Eight at most. They've been causing some trouble.
[TEXT: TO RUBY] I'll talk to Dean.
Definitely an interesting case. The two brothers haven't taken a 'city' job in quite a while. It's a few hours before Sam contacts her, and they agree to meet at some place called Cynthia's Bar six days from then. Nine in the evening seemed like a suitable time. It took a few days to get there- the boys had recently finished off some angel business in North Carolina. Ruby had already been lurking around and doing some recon. She wasn't dumb enough to take them on alone, after all.
Dean was still in the Impala as Sam finally found Ruby. He started to speak, but his lips were quickly snapped shut as she hugged him.
Thank God he's alright.
The not-so-new-anymore-hunter realized exactly how tight she was holding him, and exactly how tight he was holding her back. It felt beautiful. Dean came into her vision and she pulled away, raising her state of alarm.
"Dean." Ruby smiled weakly.
Moving over towards the hunter, the newly made human pulled him into a hug.
She had to cover up her sudden embrace with Sam. Wait, why would she? It didn't mean anything, right? Just a hug between friends. Okay.
The eldest brother jumped back, startled by her arms, and it made Sam laugh. "Hey, Rubes." He mumbled, finally setting his grasp on her.
The rest of the night was spent planning and catching up, moving back and forth between tactics and jokes.
"Where's Clara?" Dean had asked her, fingers fumbling over a beer.
"Tara," Ruby emphasized the correction, "is in Texas. At least, the last time I saw her she was. We don't like to stick so close all the time."
"Shame. You should tell her to call me." He smirked.
Sam and Ruby mirrored each others laughter. "I didn't know you liked toys, Dean." She teased.
"Who said anything about toys?" The hunter shot back playfully.
"Tara always uses toys. Something I've unfortunately come to know."
Before he could feel any embarrassment, Dean quickly turned the retort back at her. "Oh? So you guys, like, did stuff?"
The two boys looked to her with raised eyebrows, preparing for some kind of hilarious reaction. "I walked in on her and some dude. Four or five times." Ruby shot them down, pulling the bottle up to her mouth.
"You didn't answer my question." Dean wasn't going to let this drop.
A sigh emitted from her lungs, and the two were ecstatic. Their faces twisted into a pleasant shock as the roaring laughter waved off them. "Nothing below the pants." She said suddenly, before hiding her face in the indent of her bottle.
It was a little while before they finally calmed down. "Ruby, I didn't know you went that way! It's pretty hot." Dean grinned, tilting the mouth of the bottle as he sipped it.
"My sexuality isn't hot. And I was really drunk. Slutty drunk." She assured them.
"You're a slutty drunk?" Sam quirked an eyebrow.
The older hunter snickered behind his hand.
"You're a pervert?" She retorted quite seriously, though her expression was something of teasing and amusement.