I had been trying to upload this all day Christmas Day but, as you probably know, the login/profile functions were showing 503 error. So here it is.

Jack was different now. There was no getting away from it at all; Captain Jack Harkness was a very different man to the one that used to run Torchwood Three. The man who had decided to wait a hundred years or more for his Doctor and decided to use that time to make the man proud. The one who had turned Torchwood from mercenaries to police officers of the extra-terrestrial. The man who had offered Toshiko Sato a 'get out of jail free' card, the man who had offered Owen Harper a reason to live, the man who had offered Ianto Jones a way to do some good and the man who had offered Gwen Copper a chance to make a difference in the universe. That man was gone because now Captain Jack Harkness was standing in his castle screaming at the only remaining member of his team.

"Gwen, what do you think this is? This is not some fucking civil service job, you don't get holidays or a normal Christmas!"

"Then what do I get? When can I go home?" She was still pulling her coat on.

"You go home when I say you can! Sit down!" He was spitting but Gwen hardly reacted because this was how Jack was now. King of his castle and not about to let anyone tell him different.

"Jack, there is nothing going on! I already asked you to come to dinner with us and that way if there's anything we can both go from-"

"And what makes you think that I would want to spend Christmas with you?" Gwen froze, that was a new one even for this Jack. He was throwing his arms around as he spoke and a mist had descended over his eyes. "You with your perfect life, in your perfect street, in your perfect house with your perfect husband and your perfect daughter? You think you have it so great? Well, I'm telling you something right now, none of that matters! None of you out there matter! What we do here? That's what matters, so take your coat off and sit the fuck down!" His jaw was tight and his breathing rapid. How dare she think that what they do did not matter?

Gwen just flicked her hair out of her jacket and looked at him with those eyes; the exact same ones she gave Rhys when he said much the same to her outside that restaurant. "My family does matter Jack, my daughter does matter. I love this job, I really do… or I did. But don't ever try to make me choose because you won't like the answer. Now, I am going home to my family and I am going to wake up tomorrow to open presents and have dinner. You can't stop me, Jack. Torchwood has not just become your life now, you have become it and I won't let that happen to me." She started to walk out.

"Gwen, get back here!"

She turned. "That offer of dinner still stands, if you change your mind." She walked away again.

"Gwen!"

"Merry Christmas, Jack." She left through the door, Jack let out a yell of frustration and kicked the little coffee table in front of the couch.

.

For the rest of the night Jack did what the two of them should have been doing, if she wanted her normal life then she could have it. She didn't know it yet but when Gwen turned up on Thursday she would be going home early and permanently. Eventually, after hours of monitoring the Rift while nothing stirred and catching up on paperwork, Jack rubbed his eyes and hair.

"You should really get some sleep, sir."

Jack spun around in his chair to see someone he never expected and the sight made his stomach lurch with pain. He almost threw up on the spot as his eyes filled with tears. "Ianto?"

"It's getting late." There he was, clear as daylight, standing in front of Jack looking the exact same as the last day Jack had with him.

Jack stood and walked towards him. "Ianto? Am I dreaming?"

"I wouldn't call it that, sir, since you're awake."

Jack reached out and his hand connected with Ianto's face but he knew it wasn't real. "Whoa, whoa… What's going on?"

"Did you think that I had somehow came back to life and sneaked in here without you noticing?" He smirked, but it wasn't mockingly, it was as if he was thinking of a particular memory that made him smile.

"You were never very good at sneaking… or hiding." Jack smirked a little at the memory he was now thinking of but he couldn't take in what he was seeing or feeling. He lowered his arm from Ianto's face; it didn't feel like him and if he couldn't touch him for real then Jack didn't want to touch this version.

"Yes, but in all fairness, sir…" He leaned forward a little. "I kind of wanted you to find me."

The pair laughed although Jack was still a little in shock. "This is new for me. I've experienced a lot but… never this."

"What? The great Captain Jack Harkness has never had a past lover come back from the dead before? Well, it's good to know I was your first something considering you were so many firsts for me."

"What is going on here?" Jack spun to hold onto the desk and put his other hand on his forehead. "Am I ill or has someone poisoned me?"

"No Jack, I'm here to warn you."

"Warn me? What is this, a Charles Dicken's novel?"

"Something like that. Sir, you've changed since I left you."

"I have not!" He looked up at the apparition insulted.

"You have and you know it. Look at you!" Jack smiled a little before catching himself, he had missed that amazing accent. "Jack… You're a monster."

Jack turned to Ianto with his face full of tears again. "Don't say that…"

"You are! When I died I had nothing."

"You had me!" Jack's tears had become uncontrollable now. How could Ianto say that, his Ianto? "You had Torchwood! I thought it meant something to you?"

"It did. Jack, you meant everything to me but when I died I never really had you because you were never truly mine, not one hundred percent and that was fine, I understood it all and I still do. But when I died, the only people that remembered me for what I was, the only ones who truly knew me were all under this roof. I gave my everything to Torchwood… to you. I did so many great things and my whole existence is now a distant deceased relative in my family's future and a file and drawer in here. That's it! And when you die, sir, what will they say of you? Think about that, Jack. Really think about that tonight when it happens. Goodbye."

"When what happens? Ianto, don't go! I need you!"

"Do you? Then why couldn't you say it, Jack? In that building you held me in your arms, I told you I loved you and you couldn't say it back…"

"I love you! I love you, Ianto!"

"No Jack, you might have loved me… There's no room for that in your heart anymore. It's full of darkness and hatred." And with that Ianto Jones left Jack behind once again.

"Ianto?" Jack ran to where he had been standing. "Ianto?!" Jack crumbled on the spot and lay there crying and mumbling to himself. "I love you Ianto, I love you… Come back…"

.

After half an hour Jack managed to drag himself up from the floor and up the stairs to his office. When he got to the top, he turned to shut his door and looked at where the man had been stood in front of him. He wasn't coming back. Jack closed the door and climbed down into his bunker. He pulled his clothes off while thinking about what Ianto had said to him. Why couldn't you say it, Jack? What will they say of you? He then climbed into his bed and rolled to face the wall before he lazily drifted off to sleep as tears dried on his face.