Summary: He found letters, all addressed to him, under her bed. Her thoughts and feelings all written out, just for him, only for him. The papers said what she couldn't say, never again.
Standard disclaimer applies here
Letters
by: MikazukiDreams
She knew her time was coming. She could feel it, little by little, the life slowly draining from her once so lively self. She felt the glimmer in her eyes dull, each and every day, and her rosy complexion turn bland and gray.
She was dying, and she knew it.
It just proved to herself that she wasn't as strong as she thought she was. She would never be as strong as Naruto. She knew she was still that weak little girl, because she couldn't bring Sasuke back.
All those years of training went to waste. Such a waste.
She couldn't even survive this S-ranked mission. So here she was, lying in a hospital bed, getting taken care of by other nurses (ironic, isn't it? She was the best medic in Konoha, after all.) She is bored and not alive. Her head aches, her heartbeat beeps at a slow pace, and she's always so tired.
Her friends visit her often, bringing her gifts and telling her about their missions and their successes. Sakura just smiles and nods, but secretly she wishes she were there.
When her friends are not there, she writes, continuing what she has started a long time ago, after he left. She writes to him; his name doesn't need to be said but she knows. She stores it all in a light blue cardboard box under her hospital bed. Soon the box is full, and she's tired.
Her friends all watch as her emerald green eyes slowly close, never to be opened again. A faint smile plays on her lips.
Goodbye.
He's back.
It's not entirely by force or by his own will, but he's back. Naruto is absolutely ecstatic, and the others (although they won't admit it right away) are glad as well.
Everything is the same yet everything changed. Naruto is still annoying, but he is now strong and mature. Ino is still a boy crazy girl, but she is kinder to others. Hinata still stutters around Naruto, but she is more confident. Shikamaru still enjoys cloud gazing, but he has become less lazy. Rock Lee is still a crazy energetic guy, but he can be more serious and calm. Neji is still stoic, but he loosens up a lot more often.
He's seen the changes in all his friends, except for one.
Haruno Sakura.
He assumes that it's because of what he's done, knocking her unconscious and lying her on a bench right after she confessed her love to him. Maybe she was still angry with him, and did not want to see him.
He doesn't ask. Nobody mentions anything either.
Sometimes he strolls by the Konoha Hospital, hoping to catch a glance of her; but he never sees her. Sometimes he walks by the training grounds, hoping to see her, but she's never there. He looks everywhere, but he never finds her.
It's as if she's disappeared.
The new guy, Sai, seems to be more observant than Sasuke gave him credit for. He knows that Sasuke is worried about a certain rosette, even though Sasuke has tried so very hard to conceal it.
He just simply says that Sakura is no longer around, and ups and leaves. Sasuke is left confused.
Naruto has become more observant as well. He also can read Sasuke like a book, and Naruto knows that he will have to tell the stoic boy sooner or later.
But he doesn't know how. The truth burns in his throat every time he tries to spit it out, and the horrible image of his dying friend still burns in his mind.
Naruto knows Sasuke's lost a lot of precious people in his life, and how much he's suffered. Did he really want to put his best friend through that again?
Sasuke is walking by Sakura's house when the door opens. His breath catches in his throat and his heart starts to pound, until the blonde head of his best friend pops out.
Sasuke glares at Naruto.
"Oi, teme," Naruto exclaims, and Sasuke notices that Naruto's usual strong voice falters. "Sakura-chan's not home."
"Hn," Sasuke replies, pretending not to care, but really he does.
"She hasn't been home for a while now." There's something in Naruto's voice that makes Sasuke look at him, and when he does he sees that there is sadness and regret in the blonde's eyes, which are usually happy and bright.
"What do you mean?" Sasuke demands. Worry for his teammate fills him.
"I…" Naruto couldn't look at Sasuke. "She's gone, teme."
"On a mission? It's been a month now!" Sasuke was getting frustrated now; why won't the dobe just spit it out?
"N-no, that's not what I meant.. I-I.."
"Tell me!" Sasuke snapped. His best friend's eyes widen and then lower back to the ground.
"She's dead, teme. She's not coming back."
Sasuke doesn't know what happens. It takes a minute for Naruto's news to sink in, and in a flash he's gone, the blonde hot on his heels.
"Teme! Oi, wait! Don't…" But Sasuke is already storming to Lady Tsunade's medic office, scared nurses backing out of his way.
The door to the Hokage's medic office is slammed open so hard it leaves a dent. Inside, an exhausted-looking Tsunade glances up irritably at the Uchiha.
"Listen, you little-"
"Where the hell is Sakura?" Sasuke growls. Tsunade blinks, and then looks away.
"She's gone, Uchiha."
"You couldn't save her? What kind of medic are you?" he snaps angrily. His eyes are flashing red and his grip on the desk is so hard that it chips under his fingertips.
"You don't think I tried with everything I had? She was my dear apprentice, my daughter! She died because of you, Uchiha! She got seriously injured on a mission going to save you!" Tsunade's standing up as well, tears forming in her eyes and face flushed red in anger.
Sasuke is left frozen in shock and regret. "No…" Naruto comes and put an arm around Sasuke.
"Her room's down the hall. She's not there anymore, but everything's still in there. You can go check it out if you want, and I'll show you her grave place after," Naruto says quietly.
Numbly, Sasuke nods and shuffles out of the place.
Her room is empty and cold. All cheerfulness is gone and the air is tinged with sadness. Sasuke could almost imagine the lovely rosette lying peacefully on the bed, smiling out the window.
But she's not there anymore. Never again will Sasuke be able to see her lovely smile, her bright eyes, her beautiful pale face.
Naruto leaves the room, giving Sasuke space, and Sasuke's glad. He walks over to the bland, empty, cold bed, and sits down.
It's cold, this room. So, so cold, without her beautiful warming smile. It's so empty, so, so empty, without her presence.
Sasuke's not sure if he's ever felt so broken in his life, apart from when his parents and Itachi died.
He visits her room every day. Sasuke's not ignorant enough to not notice people's sympathetic looks, but he pushes on. Because they don't understand.
They don't understand the fact that not only has Sasuke lost another precious person, a friend, but he might've also lost the love of his life, his future.
Her hospital room is always the same; cold, bland, empty. No one dares to change it up or do anything to the room. It's as if it were her little memoir.
Sasuke is sitting by the window when a splash of color catches his eye. A faded blue box peeks out from under her bed, and he hesitates to pick it up.
But he goes anyway, and picks up the slightly heavy box. On the cover, in swift, delicate handwriting was one word:
Letters
Who were they for? Curiosity gets the best of Sasuke as he opens the lid to the box.
The musty smell of old paper greets him. He blinks, staring at the tall, neatly stacked papers in the box.
He picks up the first one carefully and opens it, eyes scanning the contents written on. It was dated a few months after he left Konoha, several years ago.
Dear Sasuke-kun,
How are you? It's been such a long time since I've seen you. I know it's only been a few months, but to me it feels like a lifetime. I really, really miss you.
Why did you leave, Sasuke-kun? Why? Are you ever going to come back? Please come back, Sasuke-kun. Things are not the same without you. I heard you were going to see Orochimaru for power, Sasuke-kun. He's an evil man. He'll hurt you.
Be careful.
Love,
Sakura
His heart clenches as he clutches the paper tightly. These letters were all for him, weren't they? Carefully placing the paper back in the box, he runs swiftly back to his house, where no one could interrupt him.
Dear Sasuke-kun,
Naruto has left with Jiraiya to train to become stronger. I'm training under Tsunade. Have you ever heard of her? She's the greatest medic in all the villages! Hopefully one day I will be as great as her. Next time we meet, I'll be stronger, Sasuke-kun. I won't be a burden to you or Naruto anymore. I'll bring you back, I promise.
It's funny, isn't it? That you're training under Orochimaru, and Naruto is training under Jiraiya, and I'm training under Tsunade. They are the Legendary Sannin.
Tsunade's methods are so difficult. She has great strength and determination and makes me feel so weak. I'm sorry I was such a nuisance before. But next time we meet, I won't need your protection anymore. I won't be behind your back. Instead, I'll be right beside you. How about that, Sasuke-kun?
Come back soon.
Love,
Sakura
It burned him to think how Sakura suffered through brutal training just to be par with him. Her words, 'next time we meet, I'll be stronger' echoes over and over in his head, and the hole in his chest seems to open up more by the minute.
Could this be what 'heartbroken' feels like? He thinks, feeling the numbing, desperate pain running sharply in his well-defined chest.
It must be.
Sasuke spends his week reading her letters, a couple a day, sometimes staying up the whole night. Nobody bothers him, and he is grateful.
Until today.
In the middle of reading one of Sakura's letters, a loud pounding interrupts the busy Uchiha.
"Oi, teme! Hey, are you in there? Hey teme! Yo! Are you ignoring me? Are you there? Hopefully you are, cuz it would be really embarrassing to find out that I'm yelling at an empty house, ya know?"
Sasuke growls and attempts to ignore the annoying blonde at his door, but eventually his temper flares and he stomps loudly to the door before swinging it open.
"Hey, teme! You are home! So where have you been all this week, cuz I thought you would be at the hospital, but you weren't, so I decided to check here." Naruto's eyes widen as he took in Sasuke's appearance. "Whoa, what happened to you, man? You look like shi-"
"What do you want?" Sasuke demands, glaring at the blonde.
Naruto smiles real big and exclaims, "I was just wondering where you were, teme. No need to get all asshole-y on me, ya know." He then notices the paper in Sasuke's pale hand.
"Oi, what's that?" He asks, pointing.
Sasuke snaps his hand back. "Nothing."
"Oh it's something. What is it?"
"Nothing."
"Show me!"
"No."
"Can I just have a glance?"
"No."
"Is it a love letter?"
Sasuke winces. "No."
"Great!" With quick reflexes, Naruto snatches the paper from Sasuke. Onyx eyes watch as cerulean blue ones scan the paper, before handing it back.
Sasuke notes that the blonde quiets down.
"Oh. I didn't think that they were Sakura-chan's," he murmurs softly. He glances at Sasuke. "Did she write any for me?"
"No."
Naruto's face falls. "Oh."
Sighing, Sasuke runs a pale hand through his messy black locks. "She mentioned you in a lot of them, though."
A smile finds its way to Naruto's face as he looks at the letter. "Really? I'm so happy!" Suddenly, Naruto's snaps his fingers. "Wait a minute, is this what you've been doing all week? Reading a letter?"
"There's a box of them, dobe."
"Oh."
Awkward silence comes between them for a minute, before Naruto speaks up.
"Hey, I know you're taking it pretty hard right now, considering you weren't here when she… passed away," Naruto starts, and Sasuke's eyes snap up. "But you've got to put it behind you. I'm not saying you should forget her, but you should carry on. She wouldn't want you to be like this, teme. She'd want you to be happy and healthy."
Sasuke is quiet for a minute. In his mind, he was screaming, she wants me to be happy?! If she wanted me to be happy, she wouldn't have left me! But he refrains from saying those words aloud. Instead, he just grunts. "Hn."
Naruto pats Sasuke on the shoulder and smiles. "You should get cleaned up. I don't think Uchiha's are supposed to look like hobos," he jokes.
Sasuke smirks. "You should get some fashion advice. I don't think future Hokages are supposed to dress like that," he snorts, gesturing Naruto's bright orange and green outfit.
Naruto pretends to look offended. "This is fashionable. At least I wear colors!" and Sasuke scoffs.
"Dobe."
Said blonde grin and turns his heel, heading down the street. "I guess I'll see you later, teme!"
"Yeah."
And within seconds, Naruto's out of sight.
There were a lot of letters that made him boil in anger and jealousy, such as:
Dear Sasuke-kun,
It's amazing how some people's minds are so shallow! They prey on you just because they think you're pretty and such. Guys are stalking me for dates, Sasuke-kun! Me, the forehead girl. The girl that everyone used to laughed at. Apparently, according to Ino, I've grown into a 'hot, gorgeous babe'. To be honest, I couldn't care less. Can you believe the nerve of some people, who just randomly grab you when you're walking to the weapon shop?
Well, I shouldn't be complaining to you. You've had girls swarming around you since forever, haven't you? Even now, I bet, in Oto, you're the item in every girl's dream.
I miss you, Sasuke-kun. If you were here, would you scare the boys away? Naruto's not here to do so. I miss him lots as well. Do you?
Love,
Sakura
Then there were ones that brought a smirk (smile) to his features.
Dear Sasuke-kun,
People are saying that I've surpassed Tsunade, my mentor! Can you believe it? It's like a dream, so unrealistic but yet so real. The villagers have dubbed me as the 'Miracle Medic'. Sweet, isn't it. To think that years ago all I cared about was getting your attention and my hair and looks. People really do change, don't they? I'm so glad I've changed for the better.
I broke a guy's jaw today (one of the many, many things I broke). Naruto would be proud, don't cha think? Honestly though, that guy had no sense in self-preservation. You can't just grab me, the tiny girl with a massive temper, and try to back me up into a dark alleyway. What kind of idiot does that?! It's so cliché. He'll be in the hospital for a while.
Love,
Sakura
But there were two letters that stood out, that made Sasuke's stomach feel sick and his mind dizzy.
Dear Sasuke-kun,
I saw you today. You sure have grown, haven't you? But then again, so have the rest of us. You're a lot more handsome. Longer hair, and you're become leaner. Muscular but lean, swift and strong, just like a dancer. Graceful, never clumsy. That's you, isn't it?
But you've changed. You scared me today, Sasuke-kun. Is that you? It that really you? Never in a million years would I think that you would try to kill Naruto. Sure, you guys always fight, but you'd never hurt him. At least not before. And me. If you weren't interrupted today, would you have hurt me, Sasuke-kun? Physically, not emotionally? Would you have listened to my screams mixed with the loud chirps of your Chidori, and enjoyed it?
You've changed so much, Sasuke-kun. I miss you. You. Where are you?
Love,
Sakura
Dear Sasuke-kun,
I saw you again today on the Iron Bridge. I had everything planned out, right from the beginning, but one glimpse at you and my façade crumbles into dust. Are you aware you have that affect on me, Sasuke-kun? Are you aware that even after all these years, you still hold my heart in your hands?
Did you think I was really going to kill you, Sasuke-kun? I understand if you did, because that was somewhat of my intention; but you know I could never do that. Prey on me and say I'm weak, but I could never hurt you, Sasuke-kun. No matter how many times you've hurt me.
You planned on killing me though, didn't you? You planned on running your jutsu through my body and listening to my screams, didn't you? What happened, Sasuke-kun? What changed you so much during those years you've been gone?
When did you stop caring? When did you stop caring for me?
What happened to you, Sasuke-kun? You're not the boy I fell in love with. Where is he? What happened to him?
Love,
Sakura
There's a vice-like grip in Sasuke's heart every single time he reads those couple of letters. They stuck and pull on his heartstrings, bringing back painful memories he tries so very hard to push down.
That's not even what pains him the most.
What he regrets the most is that Sakura died thinking that he didn't care. She died thinking that he'd never come back, and that she didn't matter in his life. But she did. She did.
But it was a little too late to tell her that, wasn't it?
He remembers the day clearly, an unfading memory burned inside his mind.
That day, when they reunited, how she'd changed so much he'd barely recognized her. Pale short-length pink hair and green eyes- those mesmerizing emerald eyes that seemed to burn into his soul. How they glanced at him with awe, with sadness, with fear.
He remembers the Iron Bridge, how painfully close he'd come to killing his former teammate. How she'd snuck up on him, having an opening to attack but faltered. How her eyes filled with pure terror as he charged at her with a blazing Chidori.
Was that how she died, he wonders, with the thought that he was a monster? Did she die, he thinks, fearing him?
Sasuke-kun,
I'm not feeling too well these days. My body is weakening and I'm always so tired. Is this what death feels like? Is Death, cloaked in black with greedy, fiery eyes, waiting for my soul?
Everyone regrets letting me take that one S-rank solo mission Lady Tsunade send me on, even my mentor herself. But I don't. I'm not anybody's little girl anymore. I don't need to hide. Now it seems like every thing that I've trained for and everything I've put my hardest effort into has gone to waste. Everyone flocks around me, sharing pity that I don't want. I appreciate everyone's kindness, but why can't they see that they're making it worse? I'm strong. I'm a strong kunoichi. I've trained forever for this. Now I'm hospitalized, and I'm weak again?
I'm not. I'm not. I'll get better.
Love,
Sakura
These types of letters started a few months prior to Sasuke's return. Sasuke was bitter; she always said that she'll get better, but she never did.
In fact, she only got worse.
The letter stack was getting thinner and thinner, until there was only one letter left.
This letter was different, Sasuke notices. Maybe because it's folded so perfectly, or maybe the paper was stiff, like fancy paper, and a light blue in color.
He picks up the last letter and opens it up carefully, trying not to ruin it.
A photo of team seven falls out, and Sasuke bends down to pick it up. A dark shape at the back of the photo caught Sasuke's keen eyes, and he flips the photo over.
Team Seven, it says, in Sakura's perfect, smooth writing. Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi.
On the letter though there were three short yet full-of-meaning words.
I love you.
Sasuke reads the three words over and over and over again, a blooming happiness and hope in his chest.
She loved him. Even after everything he'd done, after everything he'd said that hurt her in more ways than one, she still remained loyal and faithful and kept her word from that one night, so many years ago, when she confessed that she loved him more than anything and would do anything for him.
She still loved him. She died loving him.
Staring at the paper for what seemed like eternity, Sasuke finally realizes what he should do.
"Hello! Welcome to Yamanaka's Flower-"Ino cuts off when she sees Sasuke walk in her shop casually, hands stuffed in his pockets. "-Shop."
"Hn," Sasuke says.
"Uh, hey Sasuke," Ino says, confused. "What are you here for?"
"Flowers."
Sasuke watches as Ino's bright blue eyes widen in shock. "…Oh. Okay." She turns and grabs fancy wrapping paper, and smiles at Sasuke.
"What kind of flowers would you like?"
"White carnations, a dozen red roses, and white orchids."
"Okay," Ino replies, flittering around the shop, gathering the flowers together in a bunch. While picking out the orchids, Ino asks, "May I ask who these are for, Sasuke?"
"Sakura. I haven't seen her in a while."
Ino nearly drops all of the flowers in her hand. She turns slowly towards the Uchiha, and whispers, "You know she's dead, right?"
"I know."
Ino's eyes lower down to the ground. "Here," she says, placing the neatly-tied up bouquet of flowers.
"Hn." Sasuke drops some cash into Ino's hand, before exiting the store. "Thanks."
All Ino could do was gape at the retreating Uchiha's back.
"Oh man, this stuff is so good!" Naruto sighs, slurping his noodles. "This tastes like a-"
"Dobe. Let's go."
Naruto is interrupted by Sasuke, who butted in while Naruto was enjoying a very delicious bowl of miso ramen. Naruto glares.
"What the hell, teme? Can't you see I'm eating right now?" Naruto's eyes then widen. "Holy crap, are those flowers in your hand? Where are you going with those?"
"I said let's go, dobe," Sasuke seethes, glaring back maliciously. "Who the hell do you think they're for?"
Realization hits Naruto like a wave (like usual). "Oh," he says, patting down his pockets. "Oh. Wait a sec, I just got to pay for my-"
Sasuke, impatient, slams down money on the counter and snatches Naruto by the collar. "Let's go."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming… thanks for paying for my meal, by the way. You want to pay for mine later, too?"
"Shut up."
Her grave is placed in the most perfect spot, Sasuke thinks. Tall cherry blossom trees surround the area, enlightening the whole place in pink. Gentle pedals fall down from the trees, landing softly on the ground.
It reminds him of her.
Naruto is standing beside him, quiet for once in his life, watching carefully as Sasuke places the bouquet of flowers on her grave.
He sits there for a while, running his long fingers across her engraved tombstone, fingering her name again and again.
SAKURA HARUNO, it says. MARCH 28. BELOVED DAUGHTER OF MEBUKI AND KIZASHI HARUNO. CHERISHED FRIEND OF MANY. LOVED STUDENT OF LADY TSUNADE AND HATAKE KAKASHI. DIED A STRONG KUNOICHI FOR HER VILLAGE.
Sasuke then realizes that maybe he wasn't the only one suffering after all. How would her parents be feeling right now, losing their only daughter?
As he stands up and dusts himself off to leave, he decides that he should pay her parents a visit.
Rolled up carefully inside the bouquet of flowers was a letter, tied up in pretty blue string. The content on the letter was only meant for one person, and one person only. A special person.
Sakura,
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry that I left. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you were suffering. I'm sorry I didn't get to see you, like you'd hope. I'm sorry I disappointed you.
But I want you to know that I know you're strong. You've always been strong. Don't let anybody tell you anything else.
Tell you what. When it my time has come, when it's time for me to go… I'll come look for you. Wait for me, okay? I'll find you. I promise. Just wait for me a little longer.
I love you. Don't worry; I won't be able to fall in love with anybody else. Those words are for you and only for you. I wish I'd said them to you before… but I will. The next time we meet, I will. So wait for me. Don't leave again, you hear me? Not without me.
Love,
Sasuke
Fin.
Note… Whoa, I think this is the longest one-shot I've ever written! Over 4,000 words, eleven pages… I didn't think I typed that much but apparently I did. Hope this makes up for my absence. I've hit a dead-end on inspiration and I'm loaded down with homework. In IB taking AP classes. Phew!
This isn't the greatest, and I tried to stick with Sasuke's characteristics as much as I can, but…meh. I tried.
Tell me what you think!
-A