"Child of Flames"
"You're sure about this?" Nick Fury asked, eyeing his agent askance.
"Positive," Phillippa said, lying down. "Stark told me all the kinks are gone. He offered to undergo the testing instead, but considering his recent… experiences with it—"
"I only just get my one good eye back, and now you're risking your life again."
She shrugged. "Your point being? Sir, my job involves laying down my life to make the world a safer place; this is no different to going out in the field again. You know that if anyone at SHIELD can handle Extremis, I'm one of the few, and you told me I'm not in any condition to return to field work. If this'll help…"
He sighed, and sank onto the seat beside the bed. "All of this for your job."
"Sir," she said softly, "I don't have anything else."
Fury studied her for a minute, ignoring the other people in the room as they tried to reassure his agent.
"Fine," he said, quietening the others down. "But if anything bad happens, Coulson, your ass is fired."
"Yes, sir," she said, smirking as she settled back, and allowed Tony Stark to strap her down.
"Before we begin," Bruce Banner said, consulting Pip's chart, "I've been able to note down any past surgeries and other medical procedures you've had. Even every stubbed toe and case of the sniffles. But there's one discrepancy. You were off work for a week in two thousand and five, with 'medical reasons' as the explanation. Yet nothing has matched up time-wise with any of the usual SHIELD medical facilities."
"Did you pull a sickie, Agent?" Tony asked, tightening the last of the straps. "Kudos."
"There's something more to it than that," Bruce said, studying her. "What was it, Agent Coulson?"
"That's private," Fury said, scowling at them. "She doesn't have to answer that."
"It may be important," Bruce said.
"It isn't."
"How can I judge—"
"I had an abortion," Pip said, staring straight ahead. "It was done quickly, and quietly, and it was for health reasons. But it's nothing that should affect this procedure."
There was silence for at least a minute.
"What kind of health reasons?" Bruce asked.
"There was… a problem with the foetus. It was removed before any damage – further damage – could be done."
"What kind of damage was it causing?"
Pip gritted her teeth. "Nothing you need to concern yourself about."
"Is that so."
She hesitated. "Everyone out. I need to talk with Dr. Banner alone."
"Do you want me to…?" Fury trailed off as Pip shook her head. "I'll be right out here."
"Thank you," she murmured. Once the door was closed, Bruce perched on the edge of the bed by Pip's feet.
"Tell me?" he said.
She let out a shaky sigh. "I was the assistant liaison to the Fantastic Four. You know them?" Bruce nodded. "Sometimes this meant playing babysitter. I can't tell you the number of fights I had to break up between Ben and Johnny… Anyway. I hustled Johnny out of the room one night, while Susan and Reed tried to keep Ben from going after him. I threw Johnny against the wall, telling him to calm down, and made the mistake of shutting the door. It wouldn't have made much difference noise-wise, but I was debating over whether or not to call in reinforcements, it was so bad. Next thing I knew, I was the one against the wall, and we ended up in bed together."
"Did you use protection?"
"Johnny said that if he lost control he could melt the condom, and trying to get melted latex removed from… there would be embarrassing for me, not to mention painful. And he was pretty sure he was sterile, thanks to the explosion."
"But he wasn't."
"Well, after the first couple of months – and I swear, I never meant to let it happen again, any of those times – it seemed like he was right. My period came and went, twice. Until one time it didn't, and every test came back positive."
"Did he hurt you?" Bruce asked, his voice tight.
"No, of course not. He couldn't have done anything I didn't want. I may be female, but I'm still clearance level seven for a reason, Dr. Banner."
"I wasn't suggesting—"
"It wasn't rape; it was never rape."
"…Okay. Did you tell him?"
"That I was pregnant?" she asked. He nodded. "Never. I didn't know what to do, until an early ultrasound. I'd been having abdominal pains, like heat. The ultrasound showed abnormally high temperatures, and that I was beginning to get blisters on the lining of my womb. A miscarriage would have been inevitable, and the longer I carried the foetus, the higher the risk of severe internal injuries, and possibly death." She shrugged shakily, as much as the bonds allowed. "There was only one logical choice."
"I see." He was quiet for some time. "You don't think this could affect how Extremis takes to your body?"
"If anything, it should help. I've had experience with… fire."
Another few minutes passed before Bruce nodded.
"But I reserve the right to halt the procedure if I deem it too dangerous," he said.
"You've always had the right, doctor. I trust your judgement."
He brightened a little at her words, and stood to leave.
"Do you want me to call the others back in?"
"Just the director," she said quietly.
"Okay."
"You have to understand something." He halted at the door, and turned back to her. "I did want the child. All things considered – later – I would've had the child, if I could. Whether I would've told Johnny or not is another thing, and I'll never know how things might've gone. Whether we might've gotten together. But I do know that I would have loved that baby, protected my daughter with everything I had."
"It was a girl?"
Pip shrugged. "That's what the doctors said, though I would've thought it was too early to tell. I chose a name for her." He cocked his head. "Rosa. I would have called her Rosa. Johnny could have chosen her middle name, but I wanted Rosa for my daughter." She sighed, and placed a hand on her abdomen. "It's too dangerous to have children at my age. If I could've gone back in time, had a one-night stand with Johnny Storm before he became the Human Torch…"
"So it's only Johnny for you?" Bruce asked. She paused, and then nodded. "You never contacted him again?"
"Only for professional matters, and it never required us to meet."
"But you love him."
"…Love is just for children, doctor."
"You sound like the Black Widow. And from what I've heard of Johnny Storm, he definitely qualifies as a child."
"And that would make me a cradle-robber."
"Aha." Bruce nodded. "Now we get to the nub of it."
"What do you mean?"
He studied her. "Why do you really not want to be with him? Is it you, or is it him? His list of faults is nearly as long as Tony's, maybe longer—"
"I find that hard to believe," Pip said dryly.
"Nevertheless, I don't see what you see in him. He's a womaniser, he's arrogant, he takes too many risks, he'd make a terrible father, and he only cares about himself."
Pip scowled. "You don't know him like I do."
"And how long did you know him?"
"Months!"
"Not very long, is it—"
"A moment was enough."
Bruce looked unsurprised; Pip's heart, however, stopped for about ten seconds when her words registered.
"Oh God," she whispered. She glanced up at Bruce, at the end of her bed, and then nodded. "Let's just get on with this."
"That's it?" Bruce said, eyebrows skyrocketing. Pip raised her chin.
"As you said, doctor, he's a womaniser, and he only cares about himself… well, and his sister. And any woman he can get his hands on for the night."
"It sounds like it was more than just one night, Agent Coulson."
"Yes, well." She looked down at her hands. "It was a long time ago. Can we please just get to surgery?"
Bruce didn't look pleased, but he nodded.
"Let's get you prepped," he said.
Phillippa woke to a blurry room. Or the room seemed blurry post-procedure. Procedure? That's right. Extremis.
"…couldn't believe it when you never called… thought it was something I'd done… wasn't here for you…"
She groaned, and the voice trailed off. Then there was a pressure on her hand, and she tried to summon the energy to belt whoever it—
No. She knew that voice. She knew that touch.
"Where's Dr. Banner?" she mumbled.
"Pip? Thank God."
"How'd it go?" It came out slurred, but he seemed to understand.
"Well, you're still alive. I'll… I'll just get the doc for you."
He squeezed her hand, and then let go. She immediately mourned the loss of warmth, and found herself aching for it to return. All these years, she'd never realised how cold she was; not until now.
A minute – or an age – later, she was able to see more clearly, and tried to smile at Bruce. He checked her vitals first, before turning his attention to her.
"The procedure," he said, sitting on the edge of her bed again. "With some help from a number of quarters, we were able to use Extremis to finish healing the damage Loki caused. But then there was an… unexpected reaction, and we had to remove it. We'll need to perform more studies. However, it's possible that Extremis may be compatible with your body on a long-term basis."
"What d'you mean?" Pip asked, glancing around the room. There was no sign of her visitor.
"Extremis had to be removed from Pepper because it was in danger of killing her. It's something to do with genetic structure, according to Maya Hansen's notes. That's why Extremis was only supposed to be used for healing, and then removed from the body. Obviously, Killian had different ambitions." He pursed his lips, and Pip tried to focus.
"What would I use it for, if I had it?" she said.
Bruce shrugged. "I'll give you the file. Extremis acts like the super soldier serum, not just physically but mentally. At least that's the theory. It depends on whether or not you want to be used as a test subject." He pulled a folder from the end of her bed, and placed it on her lap. "Take as long as you need. The virus isn't going anywhere." He patted her knee, stood up, and left.
Pip barely had five seconds to herself – only had time to open the folder – before Johnny slipped back into the room.
"Hi," he said, and he sat on the other side of the bed, much closer to her. "How're you feeling?" She had to think about it.
"Better," she said. "Stronger."
"Good," he said, and he took hold of her hand again. "Why didn't you let me know?"
"About…?"
"I dunno. Everything! Bruce told me what you were talking about before the surge—"
"He had no right," Pip said, trying to pull away. Johnny clung on.
"You should've been the one to tell me."
"You wouldn't have wanted the child anyway!"
Johnny went pale. "Child? What child?"
"You said he told you about the abor… He didn't tell you? What were you talking about?"
"He said that I should never have let you get away, and I agree with him. But what was I supposed to think, Phillippa?"
"John…"
"And now you tell me that you had an abortion. Was it… was the baby mine?" She nodded slowly. "And you got rid of it. You didn't want my child?"
"No," she said. He finally let go, and went to stand. "Johnny, no. I did want it, but that's not why… I had to. I could have died."
He simply watched her while she explained the fear and pain of those weeks-turned- months, the many times she debated over calling or visiting to talk with him.
"I actually wrote a letter," she said. "A real letter. I still have it at home. It's in an envelope, addressed, stamped. It was in my handbag, and I was going to post it after the check-up. I was scared it might be appendicitis, or something else that might endanger… I never dreamed it could be the foetus itself."
"The baby," Johnny said quietly.
"It was formed enough to start burning me inside out. The pregnancy had to be terminated. If I could've given my life to save our child, I would have done. Please." She brushed her fingers along the back of his hand, somewhat hopeful when he didn't move away. "You have to believe that the last thing in the world I'd want is to hurt you. At all. It never occurred to me that you'd want… well, me."
"All those nights we spent together," Johnny said, grabbing her arm as he moved closer. "Didn't they mean anything to you?"
"Everything! But I didn't know they meant anything to you, Johnny."
He stared at her for a minute or two, and then dropped his head into his hands.
"Damn it," he said. "I should've known you'd think that. Sue said the same thing to me. She warned me not to let things go on without making my feelings clear to you. But, Pip," he looked up, "I really thought I was. You're one of the smartest women – smartest people – I know. Didn't you see I was falling for you?"
Pip inhaled sharply. "No. I didn't see how you could."
He shook his head, grimacing, and then pushed until she was further to one side of the bed. Then he lay down beside her, mindful of the cords, and curled an arm over her stomach.
"Need to build up your self-esteem," he said, and he hooked a leg over hers. "And your strength again." They were silent for awhile, Pip trying desperately to work out what was up and what was down, and whether this was post-operative hallucination and its finest (and most terrible). "Phillippa?"
"Yes?" she said, voice cracking like a teenage boy going through puberty.
"You're not going to get this Extremis virus, are you?"
"I don't know," she said honestly, fiddling with the file. "You came in before I could get around to reading this."
"Would the risk be worth it?"
"That's what I have to find out. From reading," she added when his hold tightened. "Just think what it could mean if it worked. I'd be stronger, faster, smarter. I'd be a super soldier."
"We have one of those in Captain America. I just want Phillippa Coulson. What's wrong with being you? You've been healed, and that's great. It's perfect. You're back to your old self, the woman I love. Hey." He cupped her cheek and turned her face to him. "Don't make any rash decisions about this. Let's just be together."
I honestly didn't know how else to end this, so I decided to be different (again) with my endings, rather than the typical Mills & Boon, happily-ever-after, sappy, sentimental tripe I usually trot out.
So… what do you think? I spent so long agonising over this story that it's highly doubtful that I'll write a sequel. I'd go spare. But there is a hint that if Pip and Johnny got together, they could use Extremis to create a new super-womb for her, if they decided to have a child. If anyone wants to write a sequel/spin-off, feel free!