Hey all. I'm still not J., just in case you were wondering. This means I own nothing that you regognize, and I am not filthy rich.
song: Sober. By; P!nk
~commontater
I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest, or the girl who never wants to be alone
A red-haired woman stands on the edge of a dance floor. There is a glass of whisky in her hand. She holds her alcohol well though. You can only tell she is drunk by the slightest slur in her speech, that her laughter is just a little too loud. She is never alone. She is at her brother's wedding. He begged her to come, even if just for the ceremony. She doesn't have to stay for the dancing. She won't dance, though she has been asked many times. She is sinking into blissful oblivion.
"C'mon Ginny, no more. Come on up to the house now. You're gonna want to sleep that off. C'mon."
She feels herself being pulled away from the party. That's fine with her. It reminds her to much of the past, and what could have been the future. She is only dimly aware of one of her other brothers half carrying her up to her old bedroom. He lays her on the bed and turns to go back.
"No, George, please. Stay. Stay. I can't be alone. It hurts too much."
Her voice is broken, pleading. Being alone meant that the memories would come back, even after she has drowned them so thoroughly. He hesitates.
"Please, just til I'm asleep."
He sighs, then sits next to the bed. When she is asleep, he slips back down to the party.
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning, 'cause you know I'm the only on in the world who won't be home
Back down at the wedding party, George finds his brother.
"Ron, I thought that you told the caterers no strong alcohol."
"I did." He frowns, the sighs. "She must've smuggled it in. I wish that she would at least try to live. He was my best friend. I don't go a single day without missing him or Fred. But neither of them would have wanted her to waste her life like this. It's like she's just, given up. She's not ginny anymore." He shook his head, trying to shake away the morbid thoughts. It was his wedding after all.
ahhh-ahhh, the sun is blinding
Ginny awoke the next morning to sunlight streaming in through her window. It stabbed at her eyes, making her head throb. With a groan, she reached out and pulled the curtains closed.
I, I stayed up again, oh I'm finding, that's not how I want my story to end
She lay back down on the bed, flinging an arm over her eyes. Someone knocked on the bedroom door. The slight sound echoed around her head. She groaned.
"Go away."
The door opened anyway and Angelina poked her head into the room.
"I brought you some aspirin and a glass of water." She walked into the small room, carrying a breakfast tray. "Your mother insists that you eat something."
"Of course." Ginny forced herself up into a sitting position. "Thanks." Angelina watched her, her dark eyes worried."Ginny, don't you think that this is a little out of control? That you should see someone?"
"I'm not going to a shrink." Ginny said firmly. She swallowed the pain relievers with a gulp and a sip of water.
"But Ginny, if it helps with your drinking, and the memories, maybe..."
"No, Angelina. I know everyone's worried. But I can handle it. Last night was just...hard. I'm okay."
Angelina raised a skeptic eyebrow.
"Really, I'll be fine. At you and Georges wedding I'll only drink champagne, okay?"
She was rewarded with a small smile from Angelina. "I'm fine."
I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me, why do I feel this party's over?
They didn't understand, Ginny thought. The alcohol took away the pain, helped keep the past behind her. She didn't want to be in this world, didn't they get that? she didn't want to be.
no pain inside, you're my protection, but how do I feel this good sober?
She always felt sick if she went more than a few hours without a drink. It was like a drug. But she could stop anytime she wanted…right? But she didn't.
I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence, the quiet scares me cause it screams the truth.
The house was suddenly silent after Angelina left. Ginny struggled for air. Silence was bad, it meant that her life was being torn apart…*flashback*
She turned around in time to see the two spells collide in midair. They bounced off of each other, hitting the people who had conquered them. They both fell backwards, limp. She was dimly aware of the sound of her own breathing. Screaming. Who was screaming? It took her a moment to realize it was herself. She closed her mouth. It was silent in the courtyard.*
please don't tell me that we had this conversation, cause I won't remember, save your breath, cause what's the use?
Angelina put the breakfast tray away in the kitchen. George sat at the kitchen table behind her, staring into his untouched cup of tea. Angelina sat down across the table from him.
"I tried to talk with her." He looked up. "She still thinks that she has it under control. Maybe it's time she went up to St. Mungos for treatment."
George sighed. "We've tried. She won't go. Says she can handle it on her own."
"But she can't, George. It's killing her. She's wasting away. Surely you can see that."
"I know. But there's nothing we can do for her. I wish that there was."
ahhh-ahh the night is calling. It whispers to me softly, come play
Ginny heard tapping on her window. She sat up and stared out, trying to see who it was. Her heart leapt. Harry put a finger to his lips. She leapt out of bed to open the window. He grinned at her. His broomstick was hidden by the windowsill. "hey."
"Hey." She whispered. "what are you doing here? Mum'll skin me if I disappear." Something was wrong, but she didn't know what. Harry held out a hand. She took it and they few away.
"What are you doing here?"
She asked in his ear. He just smiled at her. They went faster. Faster. Too fast. She was slipping.
"Harry, slow down!"
He just chuckled. She slipped a little more. She tightened her arms around his waist but she might as well been holding onto smoke for all the good it did her. She fell. She was falling, falling. Down, down.
I, I am falling. And if I let myself go then I'm the only one to blame
Ginny woke up, sitting bolt upright. She leaned over, trying to catch her breath. Just a dream. It was all just a dream.
Angelina came up to check on Ginny later. She found her curled up on her side, facing the wall. Her eyes were closed.
"Ginny?"she whispered. "are you asleep?""no."
I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me, why do I feel this party's over?
Ginny rolled over on her side to face Angelina. "ginny," Angelina sat down on the edge of the bed. "if you can't stop this... addiction of yours, we're going to have to take drastic measures."
Ginny said nothing, just stared at the floor. Angelina put a hand on Ginny's sholder."ginny, you're going to kill yourself if you keep drinking. Think of what that would do to your family." Ginny flinched slightly. Angelina tried to soften her voice. "your mums already lost one child. I don't think she could handle losing you."
Ginny sighed, and then sat up. She didn't look at Angelina. "I know that I have issues. I don't want to fix it."
"but," "no, Angelina." Ginny looked at her. "do think I get drunk because I enjoy it?" she laughed humorlessly."I don't want to be here. Alive, when he's not. Can't you understand? It hurts to much to be here in this world. It hurts to much…" a tear slid down her cheek.
no pain inside, you're like perfection, but how do feel this good sober?
Angelina pulled her into a hug. Ginny cried out her tears on her shoulder.
comin' down, comin' down, comin' down, spinnin' round, spinnin' round, spinnin round, looking for myself, sober
Ginny left the next day and returned to her apartment. She unlocked the door and stepped into the empty apartment. It was always empty. She didn't know why she expected there to be someone there. She walked into her kitchen. A bottle of gin and a bottle of tonic water sat on the table where she'd left them two days ago. A memory surged to the surface of her thoughts, unbidden.
/she and harry were sitting in a small bar, music playing in the background. He had ordered a gin and tonic for both of them. When she asked him why that particular drink, he had said;
"because it reminds me of you gin. You even have the same first name. and," he had grinned. "both can give you a headache in the morning if you have too much."/
Ginny slumped in her chair, burying her head in her folded arms. The memories were too much. To real.
comin down comin down comin down, spinnin round spinnin round spinnin round, looking for myself sober
Ginny woke up the next morning with her head pounding. She groaned. Having a hangover was no fun at all. But it was a small price to pay for oblivion.
when it's good then it's all good till it goes bad, when you're trying to find the you that you once had
Angelina found Ginny the next day. she had taken her strait to St. Mungos. Later she told the Weaslys that there was nothing else that she could have done. Ginny was admitted to the psychology department for treatment.
I have heard myself cry never again! Broken down in agony just trying to find a friend
Ginny was confined to her ward during her treatment. She was visited by her family and friends on a regular basis, but didn't respond to them in any way. She remained silent and eerily calm. /no one understands. / she thought sadly. /no one. /
I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me so why do I feel this party's over?
Two months after she had been admitted, Ginny was released. With the exception of Angelina, no one ever heard from her again. Angelina sometime received colorful postcards from around the world. The first one was from new York, the second from Cuba. Nothing was ever written on them. She received about thirty in all, spread out over the course of five years. The last one she ever got was postmarked san Francisco. The only thing written on it was the word Boston.
no pain inside, you're like perfection but how do I feel this good sober?
The day of Angelina and George's wedding, she felt someone watching her all day. at the reception she looked around for whoever it had been. She stopped herself from shouting out. At the very fringe of the crowd, a young woman with long dirty red hair gave her a small smile. Angelina beckoned for her to come in. but she shook her head, waved, and vanished. And that was the last time Angelina saw her.
See the lovely button down yonder?Yes? Good.