AUTHORS NOTE(S): This is how I envision where Instant Star should go. This fic actually takes place (partly) in the middle of Date with the Night and immediately following. With any luck, there will be another story quickly that actually gets into my version of season three. For right now, Tommy is still in Montana and Jude is left reeling. They will interact more later in the series. Let me know your thoughts/ideas. I never know what will inspire a fic. Reviews a) let me know what I need to improve and b) encourage me to write more. Thank you.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own it, I don't make money off it, I don't even have the channel right now. DON'T SUE ME.
Dedication: This is dedicated to my beautiful, talented, and patient friends/editors, Nia and Ellie. They are the reason you have a fic that is logical and almost completely error free. Anything else that's wrong with it started way back in my imagination. Thank you guys, forever and always.
Italics: Thoughts
There was no emotion visible on Tom Quincy's face as he pulled up next to the restaurant. Unless you knew him well you would never notice the tension radiating off him.
"We don't have time for this," said a voice from the passenger seat.
"I'll be quick," Tom replied without looking at him.
"You could call when we get th—".
"I'm not calling here after we leave," Tommy responded harshly, frustration getting the better of him. "This isn't going to be something that will just get worked out, and I'll come back like nothing happened! Things have changed. I can't go back after this," he finished, regaining his calm.
A pause. "So you won't be telling her?"
It was getting harder and harder for Tommy to maintain his emotionless poise, but it was the only way he would be able to get through what he was about to do. "The more she knows, the more she'll dwell on it. I'll just…say I'm leaving. It'll be hard on her," God, what an understatement, "but it'll make it easier for her to go on." But would it be easier on him, knowing he was being forgotten?
The man leaned back, apparently appeased. But as Tommy opened the door, he heard again, "We still don't have time for this."
Tommy leaned down to look at the man. "Look," he said, dangerously quiet, "you came here to completely uproot my life. I am leaving behind my house, my stuff, my job, and several people I really care about, and I won't ever see them again. Let me do this one decent thing before I ruin everything."
The man stared back at him, seemingly unmoved. Finally, he leaned back, saying, "We have 40 minutes to get to the airport."
"Don't worry," Tommy said with a trace of bitterness. "I'll get us there."
As he slammed the door, Tommy took a deep breath, trying to regain the numbness he would need to say goodbye to Jude. He'd never make it if he allowed himself to be swayed by the hurt and confusion he'd see in her eyes. He had to leave. He had to. This really was for the best. He always seemed to be messing up and hurting her. When he tried to make up for it, he made it worse. So he'd hurt her this one last time. She'd never believe that this time it really was for her own good. Then he'd put himself too far away to ever hurt her again. Tommy couldn't take it if she found out anyway. He knew how close they were. He could only hope this separation wouldn't break her.
God knows it was breaking him.
But he couldn't let her see that. So as he entered the restaurant, he assumed an air of detachment. As if he didn't care.
As if maybe this was happening to someone else. Anyone else.
He looked around the restaurant for her, wanting to get this over with. When he heard her voice from behind him, Tommy was overwhelmed with a strange mixture of peace and dread. "I thought you weren't coming!" she exclaimed with a grin.
Tommy stared at her, revealing nothing. He memorized how she looked, not with affection, but with mechanical accuracy, like a camera. Hair spilling over her shoulders, eyes bright, slight smile. He needed to remember her like this. Remember how she looked before he wrecked her world. He had one picture of Jude with him, in his wallet. Everything else was in his house, abandoned in his rush. It was taken candidly by Kwest; they were on the couch at G-Major. His arm was around her and he looked happy and content as she leaned into him, laughing at something out of frame.
In about ten minutes, that photo and his memory of her sitting in front of him would be the last image he had of her when he was still in her life. After that, any other photo he saw, in the news, in the tabloids, would be of her life minus Tommy Q. He stared a little longer, prolonging the inevitable.
Her smile slipped a little, seeing the expression, or lack thereof, on his face. "A-Are you gonna sit?" she asked with a confused smile.
With his last bit of feeling, Tommy took a breath. I'm so sorry Jude, he though, before he clamped down on that emotion and steeled himself to the task before him.
"I have to leave," he monotoned as confusion began to cloud her eyes.
The meaning of his words was only beginning to seep in. "Sit," Jude implored again, a little desperately. She was looking for an explanation, but Tommy couldn't give her one.
For her own good.
Tommy looked out the window to his car, where the tuxedoed man sat in his passenger seat, staring into the restaurant, waiting.
Time was running short. Tommy took a breath to finish what he had started. Looking down at her again, as if he didn't really see her, he spoke. "I've got a flight to catch. I…don't think I'll be coming back." The pain was beginning to enter her eyes, even if she didn't fully understand. Yet. Jude had always worn her heart on her sleeve. You don't care. Tommy reminded himself to stay detached. You don't care, you don't care, you don't—maybe repeating it would make it true.
"Bye." He finished with a casual shrug. What more was there to say? He looked at her one last time before walking out of the restaurant and out of her life.
"Tommy!" He heard a few seconds later, but refused to turn around. He had to go and she couldn't follow. Her life was here, and without him; she could make something of it.
He opened the door and started the car while sliding in next to his passenger. Tommy could still here Jude's desperate shouts, but he showed no sign that he cared.
He put the car into drive as the last "Tommy!" faded into an imagined echo. Tommy pulled away and went down the street as if nothing was wrong. As if he didn't care that he was leaving behind the girl who understood him better than anyone he'd ever known.
I doubt she'll understand this, he thought. Then again, neither do I.
After a minute, his passenger turned toward Tommy. "She was pretty," he commented, either not seeing or ignoring how Tommy's hands were gripping the steering wheel. "Seemed like she'd understand how you—".
"Shut up." Tommy's tone brooked no argument. "Not a word until we're out of this godforsaken city."
He had made it through the hardest part. He would not sink into the black hole that was his life without Jude. He would catch his flight, get to the address on the piece of paper in his pocket, and sort everything out. Then he could begin his new life. He had too much to do. He could break down later.
He had the rest of his life to be miserable.