Just had to write this. Sorry. Don't read if you want happy things. It's really a very bad idea. For those of you still reading, enjoy! Disclaimer- I do actually own a Doctor Who bowtie. That's about it though.
Bowties are cool.
At least, that's what the Doctor tells people. He tells them that he wears his peculiar choice in neckwear because he likes them, and because he thinks that they're cool.
And that's true. To a degree at least. He really does like his bowties. He's quite fond of them actually, and there's no doubt in his mind that he'll continue to wear them for as long as this regeneration may last. But coolness was not the original reason he chose to wear his bowtie.
People; Amy, Rory, and River as well, they sometimes wonder why he insists on wearing his bowties even though people laugh at him for doing so. They write it off to be one of his many oddities, put it alongside his long for fish fingers and custard, and move on, convinced there is nothing more to it.
They are wrong.
It may be an oddity of his, but not in the same way that his friends think it is.
The truth is, the Doctor wears his bowties because people laugh at him for doing so. And to him, being laughed at like that is one of the most comforting things that the universe has to offer.
Because, although he knows that people are laughing at his bowtie, he can imagine that they're really laughing at him. And he likes that idea. Very much so. After all, people laugh at harmless things, don't they? So, if people are laughing at him, then he must be harmless.
He has to be harmless.
And if he's harmless, then there's no possible way he could have committed all the terrible things he's done.
When people laugh at him and his bowties, the Doctor can believe that he's innocent.
He desperately needs to hear that laughter. Needs to believe, even if it's only for a moment, that he has nothing to be guilty about.
Because if he didn't, he just might hang himself.
He will never tell that to anyone. Not to River. And not to Amy or Rory. He will never reveal just how much he needs, depends, on their laughter and jokes that are directed at his neckwear.
Sometimes though, he wonders what their reactions would be if they were to ever find out. The real reason he wore his bowties, that is. He wonders what would happen if he was to let his mask slip too much, or if he were accidentally -or not so accidentally- say something that might clue them in.
Sometimes, he thinks they may already suspect.
Sometimes, the look on Amy's face seems vaguely suspicious after she's cracked a joke. Like he'd reacting a bit too enthusiastically for there not to be some underlying purpose there.
And maybe he does.
Maybe he grins too widely, or laughs too loudly, or just seems a bit too pleased at what they're saying.
But he'll never acknowledge that.
They don't need to know it, after all. All they need to know is that he's the impossible, mad man in a box, traveling through time, and that he's always alright. They don't need to know what it is that keeps him alright most -some- of the time. Only he needs to know that.
Only he needs to know exactly what purposes his bowties serve him.
Everybody knows that his bowties keep him cool. That's the extent of their knowledge, however.
Because only he needs to know that bowties keep him sane as well.
Only he needs to know that bowties are what keep him alive.
Yeah. I just turned bowties into something sad. Feel free to shoot me for that. Or, you could chose to leave a review instead and keep getting stuff like this! Your call, but I recommend the latter. Even if you don't leave a review, thanks for reading, have a great day, and DFTBA!