Sometimes, when he's really lucky, Eren's mom and dad will let him spend the night by their house. It doesn't happen too often, and Armin understands why. Feeding another mouth even for just a day or two can get expensive, especially if they have to be wary of Armin's allergies. It's a small house, too; one room for his parents, one room for Eren, and one room that doubles as a kitchen and a living room.
It's gotten even smaller since Mikasa joined the family. Now, there's two cots shoved into the small room that the two kids sleep in. Now when Armin visits, he has no choice but to sleep in the same bed as Eren.
Just before it's time to go to bed, Mikasa pulls him to the side. He'd had mixed feelings about her at first, afraid that she would steal his only real friend away and unused to someone so aloof. He'd quickly come to like her more, though, and he's learned that she isn't as emotionless as she can sometimes seem. Now, she's his second ever friend and he trusts her as implicitly as he does Eren.
"What is it?" Armin asks. For a moment, she remains silent, eyes focused over his shoulder. She was watching Eren, he realized, unwilling to speak until he was out of earshot. Finally, the door to Eren's room clicks shut and she looks at him properly.
"Have you slept over here before?" she asks. When he nods, she continues. "Did anything happen?"
"No?" Armin says, posing it as a question. "Should I expect something?"
"You remember what happened the night that Eren and I met, right? It bothers him more than he admits." With those cryptic words, she heads into the bedroom, leaving Armin to trail behind her in confusion. In the tiny room, all three of them strip down to their night clothes. Mikasa goes to her cot and Armin and Eren go into the other. Carla comes in a few moments later. She tugs the blankets up to their chins and flicks out the gas lamp, murmuring goodnight to all three. She kisses each of their foreheads before she leaves.
With the room dark and the night silent, Armin is calm and ready for bed. It's chilly, even with the blankets, but he turns and presses himself into the warmth of Eren's body. Eren receives him, putting an arm around Armin's waist to hoist him closer. "Goodnight," Eren whispers. The words are for Armin alone and are followed by a kiss to his cheek.
Armin feels perfectly content in that moment, curled up in bed with his best friend. He remembers Mikasa's warning but forgets it, certain that nothing could be wrong in a moment so perfect. Eren's even breathing lulls Armin softly, surely, into sleep.
He is awoken what feels like only a few moments later by restless movements. When he glances at the window, it's pitch black outside, it's later than Armin can ever remember being up. When he glances to the side, he can see that Mikasa's awake, but still and silent. On his other side, Eren is asleep, but moving jerkily and tossing. He is having a nightmare and Armin doesn't know what to do. This must've been what Mikasa had tried to warn him about. This was new; in all the times that he had slept over before, this had never happened. Armin didn't know if he should try to wake him or if he should leave him.
Armin has just decided to leave him alone – after all, Mikasa had implied that this is normal for him now, right? – when Eren whimpers. He rolls over, facing Armin, and holds out a hand like even in his sleep he's seeking comfort. Armin can't just do nothing, not when his best friend needs him for once, instead of the other way around. Mikasa had told him because she didn't know what to do, and so she had done nothing. Armin will not do the same.
He shifts as close to Eren as he can. He grips Eren's fist tight in both of his own. His skin is cool and clammy. "Eren," he whispers softly. He had expected to need more than that, because Eren had never been a particularly light sleeper. Contrary to his expectations, Eren flew awake.
"Eren!" Armin says again to get his attention, because Eren seems ready to get out of bed and take off. He pauses for a moment at Armin's voice, but his eyes never stop searching the darkness as though he is expecting someone else to be there.
Armin hugs Eren's cool body from behind in an attempt to give him both warmth and comfort. "Armin," Eren says and finally, the tense lines of his body go lax. He allows Armin to bring him back down to the bed. Armin clutches him while his heartbeat goes back to rest and that's the way they fall asleep, curled into each other.
Eren does not wake up again that night; they don't speak of it in the morning. Armin's not sure if Eren even remembers.
-/-
It's cold in this house. It's little more than a rundown ramshackle hut, in truth, but it's the best they've got. Shiganshina survivors are treated like they're worse than garbage, and in some ways, Armin can understand why. There are too many survivors that made it out and too little space to house them; too little food to share between them all. Orphans like them are the worst – they can't work. They can't contribute back in any way. There're no orphanages and no one's willing to take them in and assume responsibility of another hungry mouth.
They've heard horror stories, about people killing unattended children. The worst part is that everyone knows. Everyone's heard about it, but they bite their lips and avert their eyes because secretly, they all agree.
Eren, Armin, and Mikasa are determined to survive. They've found this little place that they can stay in. They scavenge what little food they can find and split it between the three of them. The plan is for them all to join the military as soon as possible. Earliest enrollment is age twelve; that means they've got to make it through two more years of this hell.
The three of them, they're persevering. As long as they're together, they can make it through. It's by no means easy – sometimes they think they should quit. But they pull themselves out and continue on.
They're with each other at any given time of any day. What Armin has learned, in this time spent together, is that Eren is far more unstable than he used to be. He gets this manic look in his eyes whenever he speaks about the Titans and Armin wonders if maybe, that's the same look he had when he ruthlessly murdered two men. Killing Titans is almost all he can talk about these days.
And it's bad at night too. At night, temperatures drop dangerously low. With little else but ratty blankets stolen for warmth, the three of them are forced to huddle together on the softest and driest bit of floor they can find. Armin knows that Eren's had nightmares for a while now, but ever since the attack of titans they've only gotten worse.
He talks in his sleep now, and he lashes out if he's touched too suddenly. Armin's had to relearn how to touch him to wake him from a restless sleep. More often than not, when he wakes, he's scared. He cries sometimes; he clutches Armin and sobs soundlessly into his shirt, salty tears rolling onto him and leaving the fabric stiff by morning.
-/-
The first time they kiss is after yet another of his nightmares.
They're in training now and the thing is, nightmares are for babies and or kids. All these kids who aren't from Wall Maria don't get it; they don't understand the sheer terror of the titans. Eren had made himself seem more powerful than he actually is that first night when he described the titans; maybe, to some extent he believes that. But Armin is the one that sees the frightened child that comes out at night. It's his job to make sure no one else sees it because no one else will get it.
The boy's dormitory is a large room filled with bunk beds. On the first day each boy is assigned one based on alphabetical order to prevent arguments over who goes where. Armin Arlelt and Eren Yeager are as far away as possibly from each other as they could get. It's the first time Armin hasn't slept pressed next to his best friends in years, but neither of them has complained, so he won't either.
It's warmer in here than the place he'd slept last night. The bunk is more comfortable than the floor he'd been sleeping on before. Despite that, he finds it harder to fall asleep.
He's hovering on the fringes of sleep, listening to the snores that aren't quite right and the muted shuffling of sleepers, when he hears movement. He's quick to go on guard; there were many times when robbers and looters found their little shack while they were on their own. He's used to waking at a moment's notice. He quickly relaxes though, because the person shuffles forward and even with just a shadowed silhouette to go on, he can recognize Eren.
"Eren?" he whispers. He keeps his voice low so he won't disturb those who managed to find sleep. Instinctively, he shuffles over to make room for Eren on the bed.
Eren sits. "You're awake?" Eren asks.
"Couldn't sleep too well," Armin admits. "It's too loud. Too quiet." What he means is that he needs sounds to sleep. He's grown accustomed to Eren's breathy snores in his ears and Mikasa's quiet snuffling. These strangers around him aren't what he needs. By the way Eren turns to him, a soft look in his eyes, he understands.
"Yeah," he says. "I couldn't sleep well either."
Armin senses a hesitation in the statement and gets it. "Another nightmare," he says. Eren doesn't bother to nod.
By now, Armin is well-versed in how to soothe Eren back to sleep. The question is if he'll do it even now that they're in the military. He knows what kids are like here, and he knows what they'll think if the trainees wake up in the morning and find them in bed together. They might get in trouble for not being in their assigned spaces. But Eren's not stupid; he knew all that already and decided to come here anyway. Armin hasn't the heart nor the will to turn him away.
He shifts even further back and lifts the blanket; Eren takes the invitation to slide in next to him. These bunks aren't made for two. It's a precariously tight fit. Any sudden movements could send them toppling over the edge and crashing to the floor. Eren's arms go winding around Armin, drawing him even closer. Chest to chest like that, Armin can feel Eren's heart pumping against his own.
For the most part, Eren's already managed to calm himself after he woke from the nightmare. Armin's regretful that he wasn't close enough to help. "What do you need?" he asks. The words are less substantial than a whisper; they're so close that he could've just mouthed the words and they would've been heard.
"Just this," Eren says. Already, he's beginning to look drowsy. He leans in close and just softly, so barely that Armin will later think he imagined it, their lips meet. Then Eren lowers his head, letting it rest against Armin's shoulder. "Just you."
The next morning, they will wake up together, earlier than everyone else because they're used to rising with the sun. Armin will, with some hesitancy, ask Eren about the night before and Eren will laugh. He'll bend his head and meet Armin's lips again, in a real kiss this time. It won't be the last time they kiss like that either.
For now, though, they fall asleep, once more enveloped in each other.
-/-
There's some sort of commotion going on downstairs. High ranked officers rush back and forth, each with an air of suppressed panic. It's got to be Eren causing it; nothing else capable of causing so much problem is in the basement of the Recon Corps HQ. It's late, too. Already most people are in bed or finishing up their last minute duties. Armin is only awake because he's working on an assignment for Hanji, and he's learned that faster is always better for her.
From the corner of his eyes, he sees Levi enter the room. Levi takes a slow survey of the gloomy room, finds Armin, and approaches. It's enough to confirm his suspicion that Eren is at the root of whatever problem is occurring. He begins to pack up the books he had been using and tidies his papers into a neat stack.
"Eren again?" he says lightly once the lance corporal is close.
Levi nods sharply. "That friend of your can't keep out of trouble, can he?"
"Never could. I bet you regret taking responsibility of him now," Armin agrees. "Can I help?" That's a dumb question, Armin knows, because the fact that Levi is here right now means that his help is required.
"I'm hoping you can, because the rest of us are at an impasse." As he speaks, Levi begins walking away, assuming that Armin will hollow. He has no qualms with doing just that; he's sure that Hanji's overworked assistant. Moblit, will be along soon enough to take care of what he leaves behind. "Half of us think we should do nothing, the other half wants to sedate him. You'll be the deciding factor, since you know him best."
They descend into the dregs of HQ. Armin hates coming down here – it's dark and dank and stinks of despair. He hates knowing that every night, Eren sleeps in this despondent place on his own. At least now he's trusted enough to be allowed to leave the cell during the days.
Right now, though, it looks like they're back to square one. Soldiers mill outside of Eren's cell, far more than his normal two guards. They look frightened too, like this isn't the same person they've all come to know and respect. "Let me see him," Armin commands. He pushes his way to the front of the crowd, but no one resists him too much.
Armin peers through the bars at his friend. Eren's on the bed, his hands locked into the manacles extending from the wall. He's struggling, though. The sound emerging from that cell is one of a caged animal fighting to get free; the dull clanging of the chains, the squeals of the mattress as he squirms, the thud of the bed against the walls. He's not silent, either, and his voice shifts between a growl and pitiful whimpers.
He can see why they're scared – it almost looks like his Titan is struggling to escape. But Armin isn't frightened. He's furious.
"We should sedate him before he actually breaks the chains," someone behind him says. Armin rounds on the group of soldiers.
"He's having a nightmare, asshole!" he snaps. The speaker draws up short. Armin is known to be mild-mannered, someone that doesn't raise his voice and doesn't curse. They know that they've crossed some line if he's now doing both.
"I'm going inside," he says, no uncertainty about him. He looks at Levi. "Give me the key."
"You can't go in there," someone says incredulously. It might be the same person that spoke before. Armin doesn't care to find out.
"Give me the key," he repeats.
Levi steps forward and presents the keys. "I'll trust your judgment," he says and drops the ring into his palm. Armin inclines his head to acknowledge the sentiment and then faces the cell door once more. His mind is back on Eren.
Someone catches his arm, halting his movement as he tries to get through the door. "It's dangerous," he insists.
"He's my best friend!"Armin says, his tone approaching hysteria. "Let me go to him." Inside the cell, Eren looks more and more distressed the longer it takes for Armin to get to him, to soothe him. He finds Levi's face in the crowd, pleading.
"Stand down, soldier," Levi says. "Private Arlelt knows what he's doing." The soldier can't ignore a direct order, so he lets go resentfully and Armin rushes forward.
The first thing he does Is figure out which key on the ring is for the manacles and unlocks them. The moment Eren's arms are free, he settles somewhat. Armin had expected as much; he had probably sensed the restraints in his sleep. The restriction would have only made him struggle harder.
Now that there's no ominous rattling to contend with and no flailing fists to dodge, Armin can get close enough to touch him. "Eren," Armin says. It's so quiet that not even the soldiers watching through the cell bars heard him, but as always, it's enough to draw Eren out of the nightmare. He shoots awake, sitting up almost straight in the cot, but Armin had been prepared for that and backed away preemptively.
Now that he's awake though, Armin goes forward again, putting himself directly into Eren's line of sight. He knows Eren will be disoriented right now, and confused, and frightened. He knows that his presence allows Eren to ground himself after a dream like this.
Eren's eyes focus on him and he lets out a choked noise. "I wasn't fast enough. You died," Eren says hoarsely. He clutches Armin into his arms and drags them both back, twisting so that Armin ends up mostly underneath him. He can feel Eren's heartbeat pumping through his chest, too fast and too irregular.
"Feel that?" Armin asks. "My heartbeat means that I'm alive. Every beat is a reminder that I'm still here. You got there in time. I'm here." Eren goes quiet, undoubtedly counting the rhythmic thumps to reassure himself.
"This one was worse than usual," he murmurs.
Eren gives a motion that might be half a shrug. "It wasn't only you. Mikasa, too. Petra. Some others."
Armin gets it; it's only been a few days since the death of Levi's squad at the hands of the female titan. Survivor's guilt weighs heavily on him because he had made a decision and everyone died. Logically, Armin knows that that wasn't his fault – the outcome may have been the same either way. Even if they had survived, Eren would have faced serious consequences for his actions. But there's no point in saying that now, when Eren won't be receptive. It would just come off as patronizing, and that is neither what Eren wants nor needs right now.
Right now, what Eren needs more than anything is comfort, something that Armin has always been willing to provide. Gently, he guides Eren's face up to meet his. Armin's aware that he's got an audience, but he doesn't care; it's not like this is anything he wants to hide, after all. Maybe he isn't aware of the people watching, but Eren doesn't hesitate to kiss him either.
Over the couple of years they've been together this way, they've done frantic and they've done filthy. This is neither of those, not with Eren still drowsy from his restless sleep and Armin dead tired. This is a gentle meeting, a reassurance and a promise. Maybe it's a little tinged with desperation and despair, but Armin meets that head on and comforts Eren through it.
Eren's sleep-breath tastes awful, but Armin doesn't notice until Eren has already pulled away. He shifts so he's over Armin properly, his legs fitting into the space between the blonde's spread thighs. He hovers a few inches above Armin's face. "I want you," he says on an exhalation.
Armin reaches up and wraps arms around Eren's shoulders. "I'm right here," he reminds him. "You have me." In response, Eren undoes Armin's pants.
They're too drained to gain any real momentum and this moment isn't about sex anyway. This is oil sluicing along a forest path; the intent is there, and the method, but there is no real momentum. There's the potential for it to blaze like an inferno, but there is no spark to light it up.
There's plenty of time for that later. "In the morning?" Armin asks with a little smile.
Eren, who's been falling steadily back asleep, his hand and rhythm slowing until they were mostly nonexistent, yawns and nods. "Yeah," he says. They're both still hard, but it's easy enough to ignore. Armin can tell that he's already mostly gone. Eren clutches him close, drags him forcibly into his warmth. It's obvious that even though it's technically against the rules, he's not going to be sleeping anywhere else tonight. Then again, Armin doubts anyone would try to move him after the events of the night.
As an afterthought, Armin glances behind Eren. The soldiers are gone now. He doesn't know exactly when they left, but it hardly matters. He doesn't mind the thought of them having seen; as far as he's concerned, all he did was help his best friend and confirm some rumors in one fell swoop.
-/-
AN:
so i had this fic in mind for a while but then episode 25 happened and i just really needed to write something to emphasize eren and armin's friendship/relationship. this is meant to be a look at how close they are; to show how dependent eren is on armin, instead of just the opposite.
the nightmare eren has is episode 25