Okay... the reason for writing this was because of total boredom on a Sunday afternoon. I was looking online for lyrics and found this song. The lyrics totally suited a drunken Kanda, Reever, and Lavi. I do not own -man or "Gay". -man is owned by Katsura Hoshino and "Gay" is owned by Stephen Lynch. Enjoy.
Chapter One: If They Were Gay...
It was the Black Order's New Year's Eve party and everyone except Allen was drinking. The cafeteria, after a few hours, was filled with many drunken people resulting in interesting parings. Everyone in the room was singing to the guy they'd ended up sitting next to in a drunken lull.
There, in one corner of the room, sat Reever and Komui. Reever was singing as Komui tried to stick his hand down Reever's pants.
Here we are, dear old friend
You and I, drunk again
Laughs have been had and tears have been shed
Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head...
But if I were gay
I would give you my heart
And if I were gay
You'd be my work of art
And if I were gay
We would swim in romance
But I'm not gay
So get you're hand out of my pants.
Reever then slapped Komui across the face and left the room to go puke.
In another corner sat Lavi and Bookman. Oddly enough, as Lavi sang to him, Bookman was cupping Lavi's... hand... yeah, let's go with that one. So, Lavi sang to him and swayed back and forth drunkenly.
It's not that I don't care, I do
I just don't see myself in you.
Another time, another scene
I'd be right behind you, if you know what I mean.
'Cause if I were gay
I would give you my soul
And if I were gay
I would give you my whole... being
And if I were gay
We would tear down the walls
But I'm not gay
So won't you stop cupping my... hand?
Then, Kanda grabbed Allen and held onto him tightly, making Allen the victim of his drunken flirting and demands. So, Kanda sang to Allen as he drew closer and closer, making Allen more uncomfortable with each word that was said.
We've never hugged, we've never kissed
I've never been intimate with your fist
You have opened brand new doors
Get over here and drop your drawers.
End
Okay, about the Lavi-Bookman thing... they were drunk, remember that. That was the only reason why I put them together in the first place, I am not a fan of that pairing at all. I prefer Kanda and Lavi, but I had to put Allen with Kanda because it sounded funnier. Rate and review please. And try to cut back on the flames... constructive criticism only please. Thank you.