A/N: This was a oneshot fic I wrote for " therighteoushunter"(tumblr url) so yeah... I also just woke up so don't judge me
It had currently been about 12 years until Dean Winchester had witnessed his own brothers death in the church after healing Crowley. Of everything, his anger and everything set towards him. Crowley. In his mind though, it was also was as much his fault as it was that demons. If he just got there sooner. Just a few seconds, a few minutes quicker and was there to stop Sam and save him and convince him he's find, never disappointed him. He always loves him, that he never would have wanted his brother gone. If he only was able to stop it. Everything would be okay. Though he didn't. He wasn't there. Dean didn't have Sam still, his little brother which he's been to hell and beyond, he's done /everything/ he could for.
He's been with Castiel now, after the fallen angel convinced him that Sam was okay and his soul was passed to heaven. It was 10 years since either of the had been on a hunt, getting rid of monster and whatnot that were still there. Demons and angels were gone as far as they knew, though the monsters still on earth never left, they still had to be sent back to purgatory. Though Dean couldn't take it after that and Castiel knew, he understood, he didn't want the human to continue, it was difficult for the both of them. After that Dean left the hunting business once and for all, he didn't have much problems with... anything actually. Sure he still kept salt and holy water and everything around him nomatter what, it didn't change anything.
Dean had finally become a fireman after he and Castiel packed up from the bat cave and moved out in a nice house together. He always wanted to be a fireman when he was younger. Of course they would be together. Dean wouldn't be able to be on his own now, Cas... Cas had nobody else unless he wanted to go to his siblings. So it was common sense they two would end up living together. The life they had. They have, it's nice, enclosed. Safe. Together. They've actually been together for about 7 or so years now, as a couple and the two of them were happy together. Castiel has somebody whom he's care for a watched over for years upon years in his arms, with him always and Dean, Dean had everything he could ask for anymore after everything that's happened. Love. A family. He loves Castiel, that is alot coming from him in every word of the sense. Love is something that he's only held for is brother and for an angel to save him and do all this for him, to care for him and everything. It meant so much for this to all be his.
Especially since they got a child. She was about 4 when they adopted her, their child who is about 8 now, 'Samantha Mary Winchester'. Both thought it was fine and appropriate to want to name
her that. Sam would like it too, having her names after him and Mary being Dean's mother and also a religious figure in the Christian community Castiel agreed, not that he wouldn't have. As long as Dean was happy he'd agreed with anything.
Dean came home from work to be greeted with a kiss from his fiance and a small child coming and clinging to him. "Hey Samantha." He chuckled ruffling her hair. "Come on, let Papa go wash up and put things away and he can play a game or something." She nodded with a huff and let him go and went and climbed onto the couch watching cartoons clinging to a pillow in her arms. "How's she been doin?" Dean asked glancing over to Castiel who was in the kitchen to make a snack.
"Wonderful actually." Castiel replied turning to stare into the green eyes as he has for so many years before, leaning on the counter. "I think she's been waiting for you to come home now. It's adorable how Sammy just adores her Papa." He smiled in a small laugh turning back to finish the pb&j for their child. "Ya want something too?" He asked, feeling hands on his sides with a kiss to his cheek.
"Just one of those'll be perfectly fine now." Dean let Castiel go turning to leave and lightly hitting his ass when he left the room and took a quick shower and change his clothes. He came back down to see Samantha in Castiel's lap and her making a mess with her sandwich. He went over to sit next to the two to see The Little Mermaid (which seemed to be Samantha and Castiel's favorite animated movie) playing on the tv.
"Your sandwich is on the table." Castiel informed, leaning in onto him when the blond sat, motioning to the coffee table beside him. Samantha giggled in is lap moving to sit up and sing along with Ariel with a mouth full of peanut butter.
I wanna be where the people are, I wanna see, wanna see, Wanna see 'em dancin', Walking around on those, Whad'ya call em?- Oh... Feet
Dean and Castiel had sang along with her at times, seeing this enough that the words were pretty much etched into their minds. The two burst out laughing after they sang using voices that.. weren't exactly theirs in a way. They seemed to be entertained by singing in silly or unnatural voices. Samantha huffed and hushed them and poking both of their noses with a large frown. "Shoosh! You too loud!" She complained turning back to the movie. Castiel had just kissed the top of her head and sighed.
Once the movie ended Samantha lay across both Castiel and Dean's lap growing tired but awake. She had helped her Daddy work out in the backyard on the garden, he wanted to grow and tend to the plants in the back and she willingly had come and helped which seemed to make her worn out for the rest of the day. Cas just wanted there to be a willing place for animals and bees to come in and nest or make home, which for some animals. It had actually.
Dean looked down at the girl and over at his angel thinking about how perfect this scene was for them, how nice this is. It was as perfect as it could get in every word of the sense, even if he still at times felt like they were in danger or being watched. He had a loving family and a normal life for once. Something he's been wanting since he was a child.
"I'll go get her changed for bed." Castiel said kissing Dean again before lifting her up to his arms and taking her upstairs as he made sure she got ready for bed. He tucked in little Samantha and sang her a small lullaby in Enochian. It pained him in remembrance that it is his natural language, the angelic language. Though it fascinated her and she always loved hearing him speak that way, though it would be difficult, she had wanted to learn it as well so she would say she could speak to angels. Castiel always informed her she can speak and they understand her no matter which human language you speak, he would know. Though she still wanted to.
After, Castiel and Dean had talked between themselves quietly on the couch with the television on low playing on the background. Dean picked Castiel up, who basically clinged to him when he had and jumped off the couch. He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck loosely and was taken up to their room and layed out on the bed. Green eyes trapped in the Sapphire blue. He teased the other human some before deciding it was time to change and get in bed, which irritated Dean abit in the sense, though nothing more. So they did just that, slept well. Castiel got use to sleeping after a few months, and since Dean got a regular life he's been sleeping more. Nightmares and memories from his past constantly coming up, so which Cas would coax him back to comfort and sleep, holding him tightly in his arms.
It's gone on like that for years before and a year or so after. Everything was nice. Samantha was in 3rd grade, had wonderful friends she'd made and would have come over and play. Dean and Castiel were always willing and liked to see her friends coming over or staying the night. It reminded them just how casual they were now. Sometimes they'd even jokingly play with her and her friends when they had sleep overs. Castiel still had his trench coat which he held dear and wore when it was cold or raining and Dean still had his fathers jacket stuffed away in the closet somewhere along with the millions it seemed of plaid shirts.
Though this was when Dean knew. He knew it hadn't lasted, or wasn't true. That what happened 14 years ago wasn't true or permanent. He took precautions as a habit and he felt though he should have continued. That he shouldn't have thought it was true, because of course it wasn't. His house, their house, burned down before him. Fire Trucks and other firemen on their way. It was ironic in a sense. A fireman's home burnt down.
He was reliving the vivid memories in his head, kneeling on the ground trying not to cry. He had grabbed a few things. Not really of his.. Of Castiel's and Samantha's. Not that Castiel would use them anymore. Though Dean couldn't erase the image from his head. Castiel... his angel... His now husband...The person he decided and confessed he loved, the most difficult thing he could ever do. The one reason he was alive and happy. Gone. Everything. He felt his heart had ripped out of his chest and so much worse.
Dean had been awoken that night that night by a scream of his name and terror in the bright eyes just above him on the ceiling. His eyes shot open when he recalled what's happened the last times this had happened... So anyone. Yelling Castiel's name he had tried everything to reach and get him down. To save him. His eyes were filled his tears, holding back a choked sob as a fire started and the screams got louder and more pained, though both of them knew it was over and he couldn't be saved. He was crying now. The only other time he really cried like this, when Sam died.
Samantha had hidden in her room hearing the screams of her fathers, It started feeling very hot, and very smoky as she started coughing more and more, Dean covered his mouth with his shirt and ran to grab her and a few things in the closet and in the house before he managed to get outside to where he is now.
"Where's Daddy? Is he okay?" Samantha asked over and over again frowning when she'd get no response. "I wasn Daddy where'd he go is he coming? Papa!" She looked back at the house that was pretty much put out now and stared at the tan trench coat she recognized at her Daddy's and it clutched in his arms and she sniffled. "P-papa?" Her eyes lines with tears now. "What.. What happened to Daddy?"
Dean was clutching to the trench coat and the wedding photo he had of him and Castiel for dear life ears not listening to anything that happened until he heard his daughter start to sniffle. "H-H-" He couldn't speak, only hold her overly tight and never want to let go of the only thing in his life he has now. "Don't worry about it... H-He... Castiel is.. He's safe." He choked out. The girl never heard him say Castiel. Ever. This would be the first time she had. Not that she didn't know his full name though.
The two were in a motel room for the next couple.. weeks. Dean made sure to take every precaution. Salt everything, anything to protect him and Samantha from.. Anything. Everyday he cursed himself for believing they actually could close the gates of hell.
Samantha was 16 now. Still unknowing to what completely and fully happened that night that her house burnt down and she never saw her Daddy again. She was in highschool, very loving to her father. Though she got in the habit of just calling him 'Dad' instead of 'Papa' or anything else. In a way, it always made him hurt to how close it is to what she use to call his angel. They have another home now. It's an apartment with three bedrooms, a kitchen, bathroom and a living room. He tried to act like everything was okay wherever he was, no matter what happened. Of course he wasn't going back into hunting. Of course not. Though he taught Samantha basics of protection. told her to always carry salt and if anybody seemed suspicious or black eyes or anything. Throw salt and run, or if she's attacked, use the silver knife he got her. It was all for protection, she knew it. It was never used for anything other than.
Dean still cried. At how everyone he loves dies, at how he was useless and hopeless watching two people he died for and everything, watching their lives go just before his eyes. He keeps that wedding photo of him and Castiel by his bedside table so every time he'd wake up he would be greeted by the beautiful smile and blue eyes. By the love of his life. He'd cry sometimes too. Cry into the trench coat he's held so dearly and never let ANYTHING happen to. Ever. Sometimes he's even wear it. When he felt alone and wanted something to make him feel safe. He'd just go out in public or around the apartment in the coat. His daughter never questioned.
He prayed to Cas. Just like he did when he was an angel. Just like he did years and years ago. He prayed when he was happy, when he was sad, when he needed help or advice, all the time when he just wanted to have a conversation with Castiel. One sided normally. Though he'd tell him everything that's been going on in the lives of them. Dean did have an angel watching over him, and he still does. He can tell Castiel is with him still sometimes... Sometimes in his dreams, or speaks to him. He feels guilty when he thinks that his husband didn't go off to the other side to heaven, because of him, because Dean needed him even after he died. Those were the nights he'd wake up sobbing more. When he saw Castiel.
He didn't have him there, to coax him when he awoken from nightmares oh hell, or seeing Sam, added to that he'd see Castiel now too. Though Samantha always comforted him when she was woken hearing him, when she could tell he'd been crying. This wasn't like him at all.
Dean Winchester was never one to cry, to admit or talk about his feelings. Though he felt broken, lost, alone. He'd tell her how much she's like her Daddy. How she acts like him. Her personality. How she's so caring and wonderful just like him. How she reminds him of her deceased uncle Sam in more than just the name. He never got over it. Over anything that's happened. Though he knew for the most part he had to stay strong alot for his daughter. That he did.
Though it never changed the fact that every Thursday, no matter what. While she was at school, he would go visit his grave. Leave a bouquet of Angel Trumpet's on Castiel's grave. They were always his favoured ones. Not just because the name. He's talk sometimes how the colours vary and how wonderful they looked. So he remembered that and him and Samantha had planted some. But he would leave some there for him, always smile at the name on there. "Castiel Winchester..." He's mutter under his breath sometimes. He'd clench his hand in a fist in pain and kiss the ring on his finger which he only ever took off when he felt like he'd lose it. Most of the time when he went he had on Cas' coat. He's sit or kneel and pray to his little angel and talk about how much he couldn't believe this happened, how much he hates himself for allowing this. How much he misses his Thursday Angel, how much he needs him, loves him, how much he meant. This almost always reminded him of Sam. How he'd go to where Sam was buried and talk to him like he hadn't died. Sometimes he'd bring some beer to Sam's grave, drink one while talking and leave some on his grave. Up until they moved. Even then he still went back to Lebanon, Kansas to do that. Though... With Castiel.. Every time he went there his cheek would feel cold if he ended up on the ground in pain and sorrow. Like a hand caressing him. It was all in his head, he'd convinced himself that. Though it wouldn't stop Dean from leaning into the touch and believing he felt lips pressed to his head. Sometimes hear Castiel's voice tell him 'I love you', ' be strong for me', 'I'm always watching over you' or something like. At other times he swears back and forth that he see's Castiel from the corner of his eye, or just infront of him.
This had been going on every week for almost 7 years and he plans on continuing it. Sometimes Dean would take Samantha on other days to go see. She's get sad, and he'd be there to hold her and coax her just at Cas would when he was sad. Though never Thursday. Thursdays where his. They were the day he could let loose, break down. not have to be strong when wanting to feel close to him.
Ever since Dean was born, Castiel had been watching him. And even after Castiel's death, he continued to watch over Dean.