I do not own Yu-gi-oh or any of the following Satanic teddy bear ideas. This is my first fan fiction so please forgive any misspelling and incorrect grammar use. Please enjoy! Based on Yu-gi-oh the Abridged Series by littlekuriboh.
Lord Satan would not be happy, the teddy bear contemplated as he looked at his current state. He looked like a... no, he was still a shitty teddy bear even after all his efforts to return to the old, blissful form he accidentally abandoned all those years ago. He looked back on the best of his memories: kicking puppies, stealing candy from children, calling and telling people that their refrigerator was running... ah, those were his glory days.
Then he focused on his current situation: he was on a foolish child's lap playing tea with her. Why not ask her friends or parents to play? Because she had abandonment issues over her father going to Egypt to try to find the origins of children's trading cards. The expedition cost over $3,000,000, leaving her behind with no money, and she'd never had any friends.
While thinking of the betch, suddenly Teddy felt a boiling substance fall onto his fake skin. It was nowhere near as hot as the flames of hell though. "Sorry Teddy," the girl said, gasping at the sight of her only friend stained with tea. Great, Teddy thought as he saw her expression. When would he reach the bottom of this trench of misery? "Tonight maybe I can put you into the washing machine along with all this other stuff," she said, in a manner which could match his Lord Satan's while giving a soul eternal damnation. No, this was eternal damnation tenfold, he thought as she put him on her shoulders once again. If only that angel had never cursed him.