Chapter One

I squeezed my eyelids together, trying to keep the images of my dreams from fading. The dream had felt like a memory, even if I knew it wasn't. I could see the hazy images of a man, his tan muscular body hugging mine. His head covered in dark hair, his face always blank was a mystery to me. I wondered if it was my father. I have no real memories of him; just a few flashes of what I think are memories. My mom would often tell me stories about him, that he was strong, that I have his eyes, when I was young he would dance and twirl me around our living room, that like him I am quick to anger but easy to get along with. That like him I am a natural leader. Physically I guess it makes sense that I am a copy of my mother, both of us have the same sun-kissed skin, the same almond shaped eyes, the same long straight black hair. The only real noticeable difference is our scars. Hers mars the right side of her face trailing down her arm; mine are smaller, on my left shoulder and the base of my neck. Looking at her it is obvious that she was swiped by a bear, mine are more easily hid. She told me that I was attacked by a dog when I was a baby.

I've always been curious about where I was from, what my family was like. My mom would occasionally tell me stories. I wasn't always sure what it was that made my mom leave after my birth. Sometimes she was wistful, telling me of what it was like to grow up with all her cousins. I knew she had grown up on a reservation, but that it was painful for her to talk about. She spoke of my father often; I knew that she must have loved him dearly. I always believed that he had died, that was what had made my mother leave. I had no idea just how wrong that assumption was.

I came home from school, noticing a car in the drive I had never seen before. It was beautiful, a flashy silver color. I was pretty sure I didn't know the owner of it. Mom and I weren't poor, not really, but we were far from rich. I stepped into the house and was greeted by two of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. My mom quickly introduced them as Alice and Jasper, telling me that they were friends of hers from back when she was married to my dad. Alice and Jasper were both the palest looking people I had ever met. Alice was warm, kind, inviting. She spoke to me softly, telling me that she had known me when I was younger. Jasper, he was quite honestly almost frightening. Something about him put me at unease, the way he followed all my movements with his eyes, always watching me. Even in the heat of Oklahoma in May he still made my skin prickle with goose bumps.

I walked to my room, throwing my backpack in the corner, glad that in a week or two I would have finished my finals and be graduating. I hadn't decided what I was going to do next with my life. I had discussed college with my mom, but we both knew the money for that was beyond our reach. I had been secretly thinking about the military, something about the Navy, about being close to the sea appealed to me, but I was pretty certain my mom would not be as excited for that as I was. It wasn't something I gave a whole lot of thought too; I knew I would never be too far from my mom. I had watched the years take a toll on her, every year her body growing weaker and weaker. For now I was happy with my part-time job working at the local veterinary clinic. It gave me enough hours every week to buy the things that I needed, to even occasion give mom a few bucks to throw at the bills, and I knew after the summer if I wanted it could be a full-time position.

I walked back to the living room just in time to hear the tail-end of the conversation taking place there. I could hear Alice telling my mother that something, or someone was coming, that she had seen them leave. Jasper handed my mom an envelope, telling her that everything we needed was in there. I watched as Alice gave my mom a hug, wishing her the best and telling her that they would do their best to keep their visit a secret that she shouldn't tell them anything about where we were going.

I stood in the doorway, watching Alice and Jasper leave. I could only stare at my mom, wondering who they were and what they had wanted. "Why did they call you Emily?" I couldn't figure that out, my mom's name was Kristy, why had they called her something else?

My mom sat on the couch, patting the seat next to her. "Come sit down, we need to talk." My world crashed down around me that day. I learned why my mom really left, that she was afraid for me. My mom told me about my father, about his temper. That he had been the one to scar her, not just her face and her body, but her mind as well. She said that shortly after I was born one of his friends had made a claim on me, that if she hadn't left me with I would have been fated to the same life as hers. "It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, leaving your father. No matter what he had done, what we had been through I loved him, I still do. I had to take you away; I had to make sure you were safe." She told me how others in our tribe had looked the other way, how some had even encouraged these pairings, these pairings that the women had no control over. "I loved your father, I really did. Unfortunately the cost of his love was losing my best friend, my cousin Leah, losing that part of my family. It was a high price, one I was willing to pay. When you came along it was different. I was willing to sacrifice my life, my ability to make my own choices when it came to me; I wasn't willing to sacrifice your life, your ability to choose. I ran with you." I hugged my mother, her body wracked with sobs. "I did what I thought was best, I had to protect you." I didn't want to hear anymore, but she kept talking.

I listened to her describe how other women in the tribe had become paired with some of the men, how their will was overcome. I was disgusted listening to her describe how her niece, my cousin, was claimed at the age of two. I didn't care if it wasn't a sexual claim, that essentially her life was no longer under her control. I hugged her, already hating what she had taken me from. I was thankful that my life was my own.

She pulled the envelope off the coffee table, her eyes red and puffy. "My name isn't really Kristy; your name really isn't Hope. When we left I went to some people, they helped me run. Those are the names they chose for us." She reached in the envelope pulling out certificates and ID's, she grinned handing me my new information. Faith Brandon. I looked over at my mom's, she was now Lisa Brandon.

"What are our real names?" I wasn't really sure if I wanted to know, I had liked being Hope Whitlock, it was who I had always been.

"Your father and I named you Olivia." I swallowed, trying to picture myself as an Olivia. I couldn't, it didn't feel right. I asked about her name. "I was Emily before I was Kristy," she looked down, "I guess now I'm Lisa, Lisa Brandon." I was virtually speechless with how my mom was reacting to this. I had so many questions, so many things running through my head. My mom was just gathering all of our old info, taking her cards out of her wallet and replacing them with the new. It was like this was an everyday occurrence for her. How could she be taking this so well? I felt like I was in an episode of the twilight zone, or maybe somehow in witness protection. I couldn't believe my mom, my mom whose idea of a good time was spending a day in the kitchen baking, was taking this like it was nothing.

"Faith," I didn't look up, not realizing that she was talking to me at first. She laid a hand on my shoulder, "Faith, we need to pack, my friends said your father sent someone, they're on their way here now. We don't have a lot of time."

I'm sure she saw the shock on my face, the questions. "Where are we going? What are we doing?" I was still on the couch, still trying to process what she was telling me. I had always thought my parents had a good, loving marriage. I had thought my dad died shortly after I was born, that my mom had left because it was too painful for her to stay with all the memories. I looked at her anew, seeing the scars down her face, seeing her as a scared girl, the way she had been when she left with me. I stood, wrapping her in a hug. I couldn't stop myself, the tears came.

"It's alright, just hurry, pack a bag of what you need, everything else has to stay." I saw her glance at her watch then out the window. "Give me all your old ID, I'm sorry." She hugged me back then pulled away, "we need to hurry." I was numb; I still couldn't believe all this was going on. I wondered if I would be able to finish school, if I could call my friends. I ran my hand over my dresser, over my desk, trying to decide what to take. My mom stuck her head in my room, her eyes wide with panic when she saw me just sitting on the edge of my bed. I watched her, throwing some clothes into my backpack, her movements rushed.

"I know it's difficult and if there was any other way, I would never ask you to do this." I saw her take my wallet, pulling the ID out. She slipped in the new, saying that we would have to stop somewhere soon to add the pictures. She held out her hand, "I need your cell too." I was too numb to realize what she was doing, handing it over mechanically. I followed her out, watching as she threw it, hers, and all the paperwork that had our names on it in the fireplace, striking a match and smiling as it burned.

"Quickly, we only have a few more minutes until we have to leave!" I watched as she carried a few bags out to the car. She struggled with the weight, her face drawn and tight. I ran back to my room, finally the urgency getting through. I found what I was looking for, grabbing a notebook off the floor and scribbling a note. I left it on my bed, hoping that however my father sent found it and gave it to him.

I grabbed a few more things, mostly clothes and my old journal. I met my mom in the kitchen; she was stacking our photo albums on the table, adding them to the pile of other items she didn't want to leave behind. "Put this in the car, I'll be out right behind you."

I carried a load, buckling myself in the front seat as she ran out. As we drove away I watched in the mirror as the house got smaller and smaller. My mom squeezed my hand, "I'm so sorry." I watched her, the bruises under her eyes seeming to grow, her breathing ragged.