pick-pocketing a past
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.
Char./Pairing: Noah/Edward, hints Roze/Alphonse
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: some swearing
Summary: Noah keeps him in reality and Alphonse reminds him of the hope they all still share.
Notes: Written for the lj prompt at 31_days "I can't climb this ceiling any more"
-x-
He remembers Winry and his father as he begins looking through the newspaper. A small house in a large field and a hill with a small tombstone atop, he can recall. Winry would be telling him good morning by now and he'd nod in reply. He'd kick back and think about how his father is doing and where he could be.
He remembers.
He remembers the last time he got to hold Winry in his arms, right before heading off to prevent another war from happening. So warm within the embrace, she clutched onto him like she'd never see him again (and she was right). There was never a chance for him to say good bye, but he's never been the type. There's never been a person so optimistic and reliable at the same time in his life.
He remembers.
He remembers feeling the warm trickle of blood from his father's offering. The bastard got to sacrifice himself just for his son. The image of his father within the clutches of that monster, pinned in marble teeth and ready—so sure—to die. He's stood for so many things in his life (wonderment, knowledge, abandonment) but that wasn't going through his head as he watched his father allow the monster to clamp down—what he thought was how little time he got to be a son.
He remembers a lot of things, actually.
-x-
Al comments on how he's been smiling for real lately. Ed thinks he's insane because who could be smiling so much when there's a war coming?
"I think you found some peace, brother," Alphonse nudges his shoulder. "Even with what's happened, you found peace."
"A lot has happened, Al."
-x-
Word has it Uranium is under study somewhere in Italy. Al out right laughs at his face and Noah sits herself tiredly on the hotel bed when he tells them that's where they're going.
"What?" he demands.
Alphonse shrugs his shoulders slightly and sighs. "We don't know the language, brother. And I don't believe that's the only place Uranium is residing. Don't you think it's still here? In Germany?"
"The team collapsed after the Nazi's failed five years ago," Ed informs him, "We have a mission, Al. Just listen, all right?"
Reminding his brother that he has been listening to him for all his life now, Al excuses himself and leaves to probably find some food. Edward grunts and turns to the window, where a city lay in bitterness from a world war in the past.
"You believe we can stop it?" Noah asks from the edge of the bed, bringing his attention from the view. She closes her eyes and places a hand over her face. "There's a war coming, Edward. How can we prevent destruction from happening? We're only three people."
There's the doubt. It hangs with him everywhere he goes. It just takes someone as brave as Noah to voice his worries. She's his counterpart in many ways.
"Aren't you afraid we'll die before it can be stopped?"
He can't answer her because there is no reply he can offer. Afraid? He's been frightened all his life. But he can't let it happen—it's his job because there's nothing else he knows. Suddenly, she chuckles lightly and stands, turning towards the door.
"Of course you aren't," she says quietly before she leaves, "You're the man who stopped a war between to two worlds."
He wants to tell her otherwise but she's already gone.
-x-
"There's so many things I could have said to them."
Edward quirks an eyebrow in his brother's direction, who merely smiles and looks skyward.
"Winry, Corneal," he begins to name the people dear to him ending with a tender, "Roze..."
The eldest closes his eyes and sighs. "We can't regret anything, Al. This is where we are."
"I know you miss them too, but," Alphonse pauses, offering a rather disheartened laugh, "you've always moved on before me. Guess that's what big brothers are supposed to do."
"No, Al-"
"Brother," he cuts him off, still smiling brokenly, "If you could go back, would you tell Winry you loved her then? Or, if Father was still alive, what would you tell him?"
"I'd tell him a lot of things, Al."
"What of Winry?"
"I wouldn't say anything other than I miss her."
Because "I love you" passed him by a long time ago.
-x-
He remembers when he took all that for granted. There will be regrets but he thinks of them like wounds that can heal, because all that's left is a forgotten scar.
-x-
Alphonse comes inside the inn they're currently residing, holding a newspaper tightly in his hand. Throwing it on the desk Ed is working, he looks at his brother seriously.
"Let's live here."
"No."
"What? You still can't stand having no change? Must you be a drifter forever?"
A slight frown crosses Edward's face as he stares up at his little brother. "Don't start, Al."
"I'm not playing games, Ed," he answers gently. "We can move the second we get a lead on the bomb's whereabouts."
Edward doesn't reply, choosing to ignore the suggestion. It takes money to move and if they have to stay on the streets every now and then, it's all right with him. He's the only who has ever complained anyway. Al jokes about it kindly and Noah stays quiet, partly because her childhood was spent on the road, sleeping in alleyways.
But it's not fair to them, he knows. This whole life isn't fair to them but how else can he look out for them if they won't find a safer place? Must Al constantly insist staying by his side? Does Noah always say this is her home? Edward looks out the window, a dark city, unaware to the horror that lies in it. He realizes that he probably needs the two in his life, or else he'll go insane. Noah keeps him grounded in reality and Al reminds him of the hope.
"It's all right," Al sighs out, running a hand through his blonde hair, "I get it. We'll follow you anywhere."
That's what Ed's afraid of, honestly.
-x-
He wonders, if he had stayed in their other world, if he would have married and settled down. Al hints that it most likely would have been Winry, but Ed isn't so sure. His nerves went on overdrive each time he thought of starting a life with her. Scratch that. He would go crazy just thinking about being involved with Winry.
Strangely, he thinks that's okay it turned out this way. He knows they're all doing fine. Especially Winry. Mustang must be having the best life possible with him gone. Maybe things aren't so bad. And he likes having a mission in his life, it's what he's comfortable with.
"Are you going to marry anyone in this world, brother?" Al jokes one day. He laughs when Edward glares. "I bet it isn't so bad. I mean, what's one more tag along?"
"If you're so happy with the idea, why don't you get a girl?" he throws back, annoyed.
Al sobers quickly and smiles sadly to himself. "I would but I don't think I'll ever find her in this world. I left that behind, just like you, I guess."
"Hey, brighten up, we'll find ya a wife," Edward wants to laugh at the thought of it. A mission on searching a wife for Al! "Don't give up, bro."
"No, I mean it when I say she's not in this world."
There's a strange tone to his voice but Edward forgets as Noah sits with them at the restaurant table, delivering their drinks.
-x-
He sees Winry in the street today.
Well, it's not Winry. But it sure looks a whole hell of a lot like her. She passes by him, not even taking notice. He freezes and whips around to stare at her back. Al frowns, still oblivious, and stops abruptly, only causing the Winry-look-alike to bump into him. Her groceries drop to the ground and Noah is already trying to pick them up.
"Oh! I'm sorry! Here, let me get that—"
Al is in the middle of grabbing one of the bags but stops short when he sees her face.
"Winry?"
The blonde stares at him oddly. "Do I know you?"
Edward can only watch as his brother just shakes the surprise off and feigns a grin.
"I guess not. Sorry about that, ma'am," he gives the bags to her as Noah does the same.
They find a shelter nearby. There's only two beds and the two brothers share. They don't talk about what happened, only silently wonder what could have happened. While they refused to break the silence, Noah did.
"She loved you both."
Edward doesn't want to go into it, but Al decides to.
"How do you know?"
"How could one not love you when you loved her so much?" she counters. "Surely, your 'equivalent exchange' played its part between you all."
That's not how it works. Or, rather, that's not how Edward wanted it to work.
-x-
Edward nearly has a heart attack the night Al stumbles into the hotel room with an unconscious and bruised Noah in his arms. Wasting no time, he rushes to them as Al falls to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks. Blood stains his hair and Ed notices, with horror, it's Noah's.
"Brother..." he clutches Noah even closer to him, burying his face in her neck. "Help me...please."
He feels numb all over as he rakes his mind for a solution. Questions blow through his thoughts like whirlwinds. Why is Noah bleeding? Why is Al crying? What happened? How can he fix this?
But there's not much to question anything as Al sobs out, "She's dying, Brother. Help me...help her. She's going to die..."
Edward falls to the floor where they are and tries hard not to panic as blood stains his gloved hands.
-x-
Things are all right. At least, they're supposed to be, considering Noah isn't going to die at the moment. She lies on the only bed in the inn room, sleeping quietly. But then Al has to open his damn mouth.
"We were getting some food for dinner tonight," he starts explaining. "I went inside the store and Noah stayed out to search for stores we could stop by for new clothes."
Edward scowls. "I told you, we don't need new clothes now."
"I know," he whispers, "But I think she was getting something for...for my birthday."
He covers his mouth to prevent a sob form escaping. His eyes close and small tears fall. Another shaky hand digs into his pocket and comes out with a small object. Leaning closer, Edward realizes it's a pocket watch. Al looks ahead, grimly.
"When I finally found her, a gang of men were trying to steal it from her. Actually," he scoffs, running a hand violently through his hair, "I think they were just trying to steal her."
Edward doesn't want to know the rest, because when he sees only a couple bruises on Al and a battered Noah, he can already guess. It only means Al's not ready—Al can't face these things yet and it only makes him wearier.
"They outnumbered me, I guess. I thought I was strong enough," Al laughs to himself, spitefully, "But they...got to her."
The eldest closes his eyes and bows his head. Al's still a kid. This shouldn't be happening.
"Brother," he whispers, "I...I think I'm a monster."
-x-
When she wakes up, Noah tells Edward all those men are dead now.
"I think he saw someone else when it happened," her voice is low and not willing to fully explain what 'happened'. "He yelled out another name."
Edward stares with a frown.
"Who?"
"Roze, I believe."
-x-
Some of it makes sense. When he lost his memories, Roze took Alphonse in. She cared for him when it all happened. It's natural that he'd want to protect her.
But Edward worries about the other half that doesn't make sense.
-x-
Noah has a limp for two weeks because of the beating. Alphonse doesn't directly look at her during those weeks and Ed had a good idea why. It marks a failure for Al. He notices Noah carefully attempts to cover it up, walking as normal as possible. No one mentions it and it only gets worse.
-x-
"I need to leave for awhile."
Edward all but yells. "What!"
Al won't meet his gaze. "Just for a few days."
"Look, Alphonse, whatever you're going through, it'll pass. You'll be fine in those few days."
"Brother," he sighs out, "This is why I need to leave. I can't take anymore of you telling me this is how I should feel. I can't stand it when Noah won't talk to me and your voice of reason is all I can hear."
"Al—"
"I know I'm being unreasonable," the youngest brother feigns another grin, as if it was all he could offer. "But please understand."
The worst part is that Edward does understand.
-x-
The next morning, he tells Noah they're going to leave the inn.
"Are we running low on money?"
"No," he grunts, "We just need to go."
Her eyes search the room. "Where is Alphonse?"
"We're going to go find him."
"He left?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because he has something to prove to himself," he narrows his eyes, "But it won't work."
-x-
They end up sleeping in the back of some truck. There wasn't any owner around to protest and Edward didn't mind getting in trouble. He was actually itching for a fight at the moment.
"Sometimes, I wonder about you two."
"What do you mean?"
Noah turns her face to his so their noses touch. It takes a lot of self-control not to scramble away in surprise.
"I don't fit in your world, Edward. Here or there."
He closes his eyes and grumbles, "Don't say things like that, Noah. You're here with us, aren't you?"
"Edward, you knew the woman who was like me," she doesn't even have to ask. "And Alphonse knew her too."
"It doesn't matter, Noah. Go to sleep." He rolls over to his side, away from her, but she continues.
"And her name was Roze. I know it's true, Edward," her voice is laced with something he doesn't recognize. "Every time Alphonse looks at me, I know he doesn't see me. It's her."
"Don't."
"I don't belong near you two."
Something painful inside him snaps and he whips to his other side, gripping her shoulder fiercely. "Don't say anymore. You hear me?" With reverence, he embraces her. "I see Noah, the woman who manages to still ignore the disgusting things people say about her. I see someone who is even stronger than me, I can't even imagine. Don't say anything else, please, Noah. Al's a bit confused right now, don't let that get to you."
She holds tight to him and he feels that something heal again.
They stay there all night, still lying on the cold, unsanded wood of the truck.
-x-
Searching for Al takes longer than he thought. Obviously, Al knew they'd be gone by the time he came back, so Ed wonders where he's really heading.
Noah mentions, "He used to speak of going back to Germany when this was all through. When you made sure the Uranium wouldn't fall into bad hands."
He glances at her in shock. "He wouldn't travel all the way back there."
"I wouldn't know. For the past couple of years, he's stopped talking to me."
Edward's wondering how that can be when it was Al who said she was the one not speaking to him.
-x-
They find him somewhere in Venice. He's staying at some hotel but when they get there, he's gone.
"There," Noah whispers, nodding to her side. Edward looks in the direction and spies a lone figure across the street, staring right back. Whispering, "Go to him."
-x-
"Don't ever make me waste time like that again," Edward warns him. "You had me and Noah run across the whole country to bring back your sorry butt."
Alphonse only nods, smiling just a little. "Glad you found me. But I beat you to the whole Uranium search."
"What?"
He pulls out a piece of crinkled paper. Words scribbled in German cover the page and Edward recognizes it as addresses.
"What's going on, Al?"
"I found the base. They're just researching it here, Brother. The bomb is planning to be built in Germany."
Edward would have felt a sense of alarm and fear. But he can't right now. All he can do is stare in wonder at the little brother grown into a young man so suddenly. He's smiling, short blonde hair dirtied from travel.
"I told you I needed some time."
"Ugh, you dummy," Ed sighs, "You shouldn't do these things alone."
"How is Noah?"
Edward glances across the street, where Noah stands silently, awaiting her comrades to come back.
"Why do you ask, Al?" Edward counters gently. "You two haven't been real close for awhile."
Alphonse averts his eyes away. "Then she's fine?"
"Yeah, she's fine."
-x-
It's starting to grow colder and their travel back to Germany is grueling. Sleeping on the streets is hardly an option but Edward's afraid to tell them they don't have much left to stay at another hotel.
He holds Noah close as they sneak into a barn for the night. Al sleeps on, oblivious. They don't have any blankets and it becomes colder with each minute. Turning around to face him, Noah threads her fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes and welcomes the small comfort. His arms tighten around her waist just a little bit more and it brings her closer.
It annoys him how it's happening this way, but his lips are suddenly on hers and she's kissing him back. When she pulls away—too soon—she brushes her fingers across his cheek with a smile.
"Have more faith in him, Edward," she asks of him, "Because I can't be the only one to believe."
A heartbeat later, he's kissing her again.
-x-
"Are you going to marry her?"
The question strikes him harder than he thought it could. Jolting to look up at his younger brother, Edward wishes he was anywhere else other than here.
Choosing to stare at his side, he answers quietly, "I'm not sure yet."
Alphonse visibly turns cross and his fist clenches. "She's not a plaything, Edward. I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat her that way."
Honestly, he's not sure who exactly is the plaything. It's confusing and exhausting just to think of the relationships. He's tired of guessing at this because he's never attempted before. And now all the years are catching up with him.
Turning around, Edward grows annoyed. "And the reason why you care is because she's your friend, right?" he demands sarcastically, causing Al to step back in surprise. "I mean, it has nothing to do with Roze. Because, you know, that would just make this just worse, huh? And Noah and I getting together is just a stupid thing to do. Am I right, Al?"
There's never been a time Edward has wanted to take back his words as much as he did now. Anguish reflects in the unshed tears within the blue eyes of his brother. He grits his teeth to prevent words from spilling. Edward sees his brother's inward battle to fight the dismal and harsh words he threw at him.
In seconds, Alphonse is dashing off, holding back tears and sobs.
But he won't cry. Because he's a man now and men just don't cry, right? Like how Edward is doing now, on the ground, gripping his head like he's insane because it's all he can do but cry.
-x-
Edward ignores the pain in his chest when he realizes he probably took the one person Al would have ended up with.
-x-
She finds him on the side of the road, leaning against a boulder. His pants are getting dirt all over them, but that's the last thing on his mind. Standing above him, Noah stares down at Edward, waiting for some sort of response.
"Had a fight with Al."
"I know."
"Did he run away?"
"No. You know he'll stay by your side, no matter what."
"What do I know?" Ed asks spitefully. "I've stolen more from Al than I could possibly count."
Wind plays with her hair, while it whips through his. He leans his head against the bolder behind him, staring skyward. They have so much to do, so much to achieve. The bomb is supposed to be number one priority, but he can't think of anything else other than the two people closest to him.
With a startling, sick revelation, he finds they are all he has. Perking his head up, he watches as Noah absentmindedly gazes off into the distance. Has he ruined them? Ruined Al? Ruined her? Things were always so simple when he was the Big Brother and led them places into the sunset. Five years here and their lives are suddenly thrown into these stupid situations of cursing and wishful thinking.
"He loves you," because he really does need to be reminded. A slight smile crosses her lips. "I love you."
He doesn't need to tell her that he loves them both.
-x-
The next day, they finally reach Germany's border. When the guards check for their identifications, Edward notices one of them eyeing Noah with unbidden suspicion. He takes her wrist-making the guards withdraw in both disgust and shock-and leads her away when their done.
"They're following us," Alphonse mutters, the first real sentence he's said since yesterday's banter.
Noah releases herself from Ed's grasp and stills. He pauses, looking over his shoulder where she stands as Al mirrors the action. Two guards, meters away, stare with unbidden hatred towards them. Within a second, Noah begins her way to the men, who in turn seem to take some fear and offense at this.
"Noah..." Ed warns, more frightened than cautious. She ignores him and continues. Edward starts to catch her wrist, but another hand—not his—grabs her shoulder. "Al...?"
That's ignored too. With a sigh, Alphonse grips both her shoulders which causes her to stare directly at the younger brother. Determined, scared blue eyes narrow at her. Ed feels his blood run cold as his brother takes action.
"Don't you realize you're just going to aggravate them?" he whispers harshly. "They're too ignorant to look past the color of your skin. Leave them be. You cannot help this."
A frown passes through her features as she gives the guards a brief glance and back to Alphonse. Something sparks in her eyes, something Edward has only seen on occasion, and she smiles gently.
"A kind answer turns away wrath, does it not?"
"Noah," Al says, anxiousness lacing his voice, "this is not a good idea. All of Germany looks at you being a scapegoat for something you didn't do. Just leave it alone, please, Noah. Just...let's go."
"He's right, Noah," Edward steps in. Al turns his head away and this doesn't go unnoticed. "You know how some of these people can be."
Noah finally releases herself from Al's grip and turns from them, marching to the two guards, still staring at her skeptically. Edward strides to catch up with her but she's already in front of the two men, smiling. They grab their guns in their holsters when she reaches down in her small bag and brings something out.
"A charm, witch?" one of them snarls and pushes her away.
"Don't touch her," Edward threatens, yelling as he pulls Noah behind him.
The guard hisses a curse and starts to pull out his weapon when the other stops him.
"Wait."
He steps near Noah, who straightens her back and smiles. Edward still roots himself in front of her, staring defiantly at him. This particular guard smiles in return, his blonde hair a mess inside the small helmet, and a cigar hanging from his mouth. He was rather tall and Edward immediately knew who this looked like.
Noah stretches her arm over Edward's in order to offer the small gift. The guard takes the small cloth with something wrapped gently inside. Curiously, the guard opens it and a piece of glass is revealed. A small, glass rose. The guard stares at Noah, who merely nods. He grins.
"The name's Havoc."
"Noah," she returns, then gesturing to the two brothers, "Edward and Alphonse Elric."
"Huh," the young man scratches the back of his head, "Now that sounds familiar somehow."
"Good day," she bows slightly, then turns, allowing the brothers to follow suit.
After the have trekked a mile from the border, Edward sighs out, annoyed.
"Some stunt you just pulled, Noah."
"If I have to start by one person at a time, then so be it."
Alphonse crinkles his nose. "But put your life at risk? Noah, please don't do that ever again."
She suddenly laughs aloud, causing the both of them to jerk in surprise.
"Is that not what you two did? Traveling your world, helping others one by one and placing yourselves in danger?" She smiles and takes both their hands, as she's in between. "The stories you've told me... I want you two to remember them. For yourselves. Remember what you two went through for each other."
A brief glance is shared between the two brothers before they turn away again.
"Yeah," Al says, grinning. "Guess we still have a couple stories left to tell you, Noah."
-x-
Long ago, Edward used to think that this world was bad for him and Al. It would eventually hurt them like a cancer to their souls. Now he thinks it's a good thing Noah's around, or else nothing would keep them grounded.
-x-
"Noah, did you ever think about raising a family or your own?"
Her eyes flicker over to him and then back at the basket she's weaving.
"All little girls are conformed to think that, I suppose."
"That's not what I mean," Edward tells her, frowning. "Do you want to leave and have a family?"
"You mean to say if I'm willing to stop running with you and wander aimlessly alone again."
Edward sighs and leans back in his chair. "Not really."
"Or maybe you're wondering that about yourself?"
"No, I don't think so."
She pauses in her work and takes a seat next to him. Shakily, he takes her hand in his, silently asking for reassurance. Smiling, she leans forward and kisses him lightly.
"Before, I used to stay with you because I believed there was nowhere else, I couldn't go anywhere else. But now I realize it has nothing to do with that. It's where I need to be. And where I'm needed."
And reassurance he was given.
-x-
"You're so strange sometimes, brother."
Edward grins towards the younger blonde. "And why is that?"
"Well," Al starts out, sighing, "You can act so much like a girl, sometimes. Like your mood swings, the yelling, the falling in love..."
"Ah, so this is what little brothers are really for: reminding you how insignificant you are."
Alphonse laughs. "And I'll be here all your life," he pauses. "But you're not insignificant. You're so much better."
"I don't know about that," Edward leans against the wall, "I keep fighting battles I'm not supposed to. I'm climbing up ceilings."
"Not anymore, brother. You're more peaceful and I think you know that."
"How?"
He doesn't answer, but his smile explains it.
I know you, brother.
-x-
Edward remembers relying on Winry to always be at the fence gate when they came home. He expected her to hug them the second they arrived and tell them all they missed. He remembers lying in his room, thinking of his father and how much he wanted to say to him. He wished for him to come through the door and explain everything to them and why he left in the first place.
He remembers.
Edward remembers when he finally saw his own brother in the flesh for the first time since the accident. A red coat—his coat—around his shoulders as he smiled down at Edward. He remembers coming back to see Noah, Alphonse Heidrink's blood splattered over her dress. He remembers feeling both dread and happiness as his brother came to the other world, just to be at his side. He remembers moving on.
Damn, those are good memories.
And Edward knows he's lucky to make more.
-x-
Finished.
-x-
This story was supposed to be about the great impression of Edward's disappearance Alphonse was given after the movie. In my opinion, that should have left some harsh affects, though he now is reunited with his brother, it obviously has been all right. In the film, Roze took Alphonse under her wing and cared for him. The idea spurred, since Noah is now traveling with them.
The story turned out pretty lame, but I'm posting it because I believe there are some good points hidden in there somewhere.
Noah/Edward added because it's impossible to say they didn't get together. Don't judge me.