A/N: Just a short little thing I couldn't help writing after seeing the whole Metacrisis Doctor episode again. I cried, ate a piece of pie, cried again, and wrote this. It's how I picture Rose feeling after living with 10.5 for awhile. It's how I probably would. :( Anyway, I hope you like it.
I don't own anything.
Pairings: Nine/Rose, Ten/Rose, Ten.5/Rose. Yep. That about sums it up.
Disclaimer: I don't own it. I don't. Just read the dang story thing.
She lays there, awake and tired, feeling ice cold despite the warmth that seeps through her from the man that lays not inches from her. She moves her eyes to look at him, they graze over his face, across his shoulders and over the bit of bare chest that peeks from beneath the blanket. She takes her eyes away, and tries to fight the tears that burn behind her eyes.
He's not her Doctor. She can pretend he is, and sometimes she can even fool herself for a time, but he's not.
He's not the man who grabbed her hand and told her to run. He's not the man who had taught her so much about worlds she never knew existed. He's not the man who stood on Bad Wolf Bay and never finished his sentence.
She rolls to her side, burying her face in the human Doctor's neck, breathing in the smell she's so familiar with. She sighs against his skin and he moves his arm around her, not waking up fully. If she listens now, with her ear against his collarbone, she can hear his heartbeat, but it's not right. It's not the fast paced double heartbeat that had lulled her to sleep before. If she imagines, she can still hear it, signs that her Doctor was alive and well and healthy. She wants to worry about him, to wonder if he's okay, but she can't. The waves of sleep are creeping up upon her as her breath glides across the man's smooth skin.
"I love you.." she whispers, barely audible and more of a breath than a sentence.
She may pretend, but he's not her Doctor. He never can be, and he never will be. But oh, can she pretend.
Anyways.. that's how I expressed myself in my depression. Love it? Hate it? Either way, I'm just glad you read it. Allons-y!