The Message.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of that Stephenie Meyer does. I do own Jamie and the chat message that is 100% real between real people!
Summery: Its very Sappy. Bella reads this online chat message and explains the love hidden between the line and missing words.
Chat message Between Alex and Jamie: July 13, 2010.
{This is a real chat message between two real people. Alex and Jamie were talking about how Tanya (not her real name) has this stalker crush on Alex and how its killing him that she is so sad that he wants to date Jamie. Jamie was trying to see what was really bothering Alex about the whole Tanya thing and asks the right question in the wrong way, for over the computer at least. It all worked out well in the end!}
1:02amAlex: I'm more of a "wallow in my self-pity" kind of person.
This really hurts me. I read Tanya's messages and see that damn puppy face!
1:02amJamie: I know ... but it won't last.
1:03amAlex: I hope so.
1:03amJamie: It won't. But if its really killing you then what do you want to do about it. Tell her everything will be fine Hug and hold her and start this all over again?
1:04amAlex: No but that's how my mind is telling me to fix things even though I know it wont in my heart.
1:05amJamie: Well what then?
1:05amAlex: I don't know.
1:05amJamie: Maybe you should just date her.1:06amAlex: I want to be with you. I have made that clear several times!
1:06amJamie: Alex ... its killing you that its hurting her. I don't care but you both do.
1:07amAlex: Yes because she is my friend and this has never happened to her before. But I love you and you know it!1:07amJamie: Well... If I wasn't there would you date her?1:12amAlex: Did you know that today was particularly painful not because I lost my laptop or the car but because I found out that, for a while at least, I won't be able to see you and to hold you and to kiss you and to be with you because you live in Ashtabula, too far away for me to go even if the van is fixed for a long time. It pains me because I want to be with you. I want to see you. I want to hold you, listen to you and to kiss you. If that's not what love is then what is? As for Tanya, I only feel this way because I don't want to hurt her; she is my friend and the first girl I have ever had fawning over me. Ever… in 18 years I've never experienced someone who wanted me to be with them sooo bad, not even you and breaking her heart is something that I will admit that I was not willing to do until very recently, when I started seeing you again!
I love you Jamie and don't you forget it. We both have our faults but we go through them.
We've been through a lot together and I hope we'll be through more. Tanya is my friend and it is very hard for me to just deny her affections because I have never had that kind of unconditional love not since I was little and Diana...1:16amJamie: I didn't mean it like that Alex. I know how you feel about me I was only asking for the fact of the matter. I don't doubt how you say you feel.
Bella' POV.
"And you are reading this because?" Edward sounded a little confused.
Uhhgg, some guys just never understand even the ones that are truly perfect. I was sitting at my desk reading this chat message a friend of mine sent to me and Edward came up behind me and started reading. My friend was reading this chat message and she sent it to me because she said it sounded like something he would say. I thought it was sweet and thanked her. I also haven't stopped reading it since!
"I am reading it because it is very sweet, cute, and very special."
"Do you even know these people!" Edward was raising that one perfect eye brow at me with another confused look.
"NO! … But I don't have to know them. I still understand how they feel and I know that its sweet that Alex would say that to Jamie." I said.
"SO… your friend sent you this. You don't know who they are or what this is all about. BUT you are still going to spend every chance you get reading this little piece of a message that has nothing to do with you?" Edward asked.
"YES! Yes I am." I couldn't help the irritation in my voice.
So what if I read it over and over again. It's sweet and cute! Alex clearly is in love with Jamie and my friend said that she knows them and that Alex sent her the message page so why shouldn't I read it! I love this man sitting next to me just as much as Alex loves Jamie so why shouldn't I want to read these worlds that are so much like the ones I feel every day. He is just going to have to get over the fact and let me read!
"OK. … If that's how you want to spend your day, then by all means Read the message board. I have nothing better planned anyway! " He said with a chuckle as he pulled me onto his lap and sat with me in front of my laptop.
I laughed. Edward doesn't always allow us to sit so close and even though I know its hard for him, I always want to be close. I just want to be around him all the time and to feel his arms around me. There is no better feeling in the world. I practically melt into his arms as he holds me close! I could sit here for days; in his arms, reading these words and just listening to him breathing behind me. This would be my heaven! This would be the perfect way to spend forever, wrapped in the perfect embrace that these arms bring me and the sweet words that he whispers in my ear. Nothing could ever be better then this. Nothing!
"I don't want to spend ALL day reading! Just a little longer, then we could do whatever you want ok!" I said pleaded.
"I don't mind. Although, I still don't see why you would want to read this. It's not even the whole story? You may be missing a lot that isn't here." Edward pointed out.
"Like what? …. You can tell that Alex is truly in love with Jamie what else is there that you would need to know!"
"Well what's the story with this Tanya girl … why would Jamie ask those questions! Why would Alex send something so personal to his friend and then allow her to send it around to people that don't even know them… and how would Jamie feel if she found out that strange people were reading her messages? Would you want other people reading or listening to the things that we talk about, the things I say to you!" He was really being serious and it showed on his face, he wasn't unhappy just in deep thought.
"I guess I never thought about that last part. I mean I don't think I would mind if the world knew how you felt about me but personal messages are a different matter. But Alex was the one that said it was ok to send it to me. As for your other questions even if you read just this little bit, they can be answered. 1: Tanya is a friend of both Alex and Jamie but she has a crush on Alex, when clearly Alex likes Jamie. 2: Jamie asked those questions as she said at the end, for the fact of asking them. She wanted to make sure Alex knew how he felt, because he sounded really hurt about this other girl. 3: Alex probably sent this to his friend to ask for help. Maybe he wanted to know what she thought and to ask her if there was anything else he could do. I really don't know why he sent it to her but when she ask him if I could read it, he didn't have a problem allowing her to send it to me." I tried to answer all the questions that he couldn't see.
He looked speechless and confused for a moment, then he started to laugh. He was laughing so hard it was shaking the whole couch that we were both sitting on. I almost lost my grip on my laptop but he caught it for me while he was still laughing. I don't know what is so damn funny but if he doesn't stop and spill it he would be in a lot of trouble. I hate when he laughs at me. I always feel like I am never good enough for him, he's just so perfect and I'm just … NOT! But when he laughs like that… its always at something I did or said or something that happened to me. Its not funny. I can't stop blushing. I'm not sure if I'm just embarrassed or if I'm mad but he better stop.
"ALRIGHT, cut it out! …. It's not that funny!" I was getting mad now.
He stopped. "I'm sorry! … I didn't mean to laugh. It wasn't at you, not really! I just, well I never would have thought about things that way. All I saw when I read it was a guy trying to solve a problem. He is talking about two girls that he likes, while talking to one of them. SO of course he would say that he like that one more. It is the only way for him to stay out of trouble. But YOU, … You saw past the missing lines and saw the back story! You were able to fill in the missing words and tie everything together so that it really does make sense! Even with just this little paragraph you could see the truth. I'm very impressed and a little surprised that's all. Please forgive me for laughing, I was just not seeing things they way you were and I was a little shocked by the irony of his words and my misunderstanding of them." Edward wasn't laughing any more and at the end he looked a little sad.
"What do you mean by the irony of it?" I asked curiously.
"Well, …If you read it the way you do, the way he seems to feel for his Jamie is very close to the way I feel for you! The irony is that even though I have sat here reading this just as much as you have, I had never truly believed how he said he felt. Reading it like I had made it hard to believe that someone could feel that way about a person. But I do and I just couldn't see that he could feel the same way. You did, you saw what I couldn't. I'm not used to that happening, missing things that others see!" he kissed my head and held me closer in his arms. I felt very proud of myself.
"I guess I can understand that. But I can also see why you would see it the way you did. If this Alex guy was like most guys then it could have been the way you thought. But I don't think he is, because even a guy that was trying to stay out of trouble would not have been able to come up with something so sweet and caring right on the spot. It would have had to be something that he was already feeling, something that he had been thinking about for a while. Strong feelings that he just couldn't get rid of and when she asked that question… well he just let it out! It shows that he really cares for her and he wanted her to know that. He didn't read the question as a 'what if' kind of question as I'm sure she meant for it to be. Jamie seems to be the kind of friend that wants to help everyone, fix things and make it all work out for the best. So when she asked him, it was to make sure that he was making the right choice and not to say that she doubted his feelings." I was proud at how well I could explain this.
I didn't know that I could truly understand something so much. But the more I read this little paragraph the more I truly feel like I know these people. I know how they all feel and how much they care about the others. How much they care about their friends and all the people in their lives. These are great people and I wish them the best. I wish them the happiness that I feel when I'm with my Love. There is no greater feeling then being in his arms and just listening to him. I may get a little annoyed sometimes but that's mostly because I end up thinking I have done something embarrassing. But then he says something like that and makes everything perfect again. I don't know what I did to deserve a great guy like him but I will never love any one as much as I love him!
"I guess you are right! … It makes perfect sense now and I guess he wouldn't have said all those things if he didn't mean them. Most guys wouldn't even have the guts to say them even if they were true. I guess this Jamie girl is very lucky to have suck a great guy that cares for her so much." Edward said smiling down at me with that special sparkle in his eyes.
"And I guess Alex should be very proud of the way he feels and the fact that he can be so bold and share his feelings with her and everyone so openly! Its not an easy thing to do." I was smiling again.
"No, its not easy. Not all the time anyway. But I would tell the world how I feel about you if I could." He said with that crooked smile.
I know just how he feels! For all I care the world could melt away around us and as long as he is still here I will forever be filled with happiness! Nothing could ever take the place of his love and nothing ever will. I will always be in his arms and he will always love me the same as he does now. Nothing else matters not even these sweet words before me. So I shut down the laptop, laid it off to the side on the table, and curled up in these arms, in heaven with my Love!