Disclaimer: I don't own Phoenix Wright or any of those characters. I nicked the title name from a song by 'The Cure'. It's an amazing song to be fair.
A/N: Big, massive thanks to my beta PawnofPawns. She's done a great job of spiffying this scribbling up :D
You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
-Just Like Heaven-
This was too good to be true.
Larry Butz was currently in a club full of beautiful, young chicks. Not only that, but he was also on his own.
There was no other person of the male gender to be seen in a Miles' radius… Well, obviously apart from Miles who was doing the radius-checking.
But he didn't count, obviously.
Miles, in contrast, was extremely peeved off. If he'd have known that he and Larry would be left together for God only knows how long, he would have stayed in the comparatively spacey airing cupboard all night.
"Larry, you idiot, what on Earth are we doing here? You do know that none of them will be interested in you because it's a ga-"
"Edgey, dude, look at the hot babes making out with each other! Is this heaven or what?" Larry exclaimed extremely loudly down Miles' ear and jumped up and down with glee.
"It's a female gay bar, Larry," he responded coldly.
"Oh, right…" Larry's voice trailed off. He paused for thought and crossed his arms. "Do you reckon any of them will be up for a third party?" He winked at Miles and nudged him in the arm with his elbow. "If you know what I mean, eh?"
Miles glared back at him. "Out. Now." He grabbed Larry by the arm and forcibly dragged him out of the club's small doors.
"Wow, dude, you are such a spoil sport!" Larry shouted, battling against Miles' hold.
"Second best to the reaper himself you are going to be the death of me," Miles intoned icily as they made their way down the alley entrance. "Do you know how much of a fool you looked? ...How did we even get in to an all girls club?"
"Must be your feminine charms," muttered Larry.
Miles rolled his eyes and let go of his arm.
"That place was like forbidden fruit," Larry piped up after a while of walking nowhere in particular. "So tempting, just dancing there ready to be tasted, and yet off-limits and none of them will ever give me a second look again! My life is ruined, Edgey, ruined…!"
"Fruits don't dance," Miles replied dryly, thinking that a nice cup of tea was urgently needed if he was going to survive a night with Larry.
"Awh, come on, where's your sense of passion? Where's the adventure, dude?" Larry held his heart and sighed. "I need to take my mind off my lost love... Let's go to a rave! Or we can go bungee jumping. Have you ever tried deep sea diving?"
Miles, respectively, managed to keep most of his cool demeanour. "Larry, shut up."
"…Why don't we go out on the pull? I heard that chicks melt at the sight of steel eyes and an important stature…"
"God help me…"
"…We could go to Greg's place I suppose…"
Trying to multitask Larry-drivel-filtering with looking for a café was a lot more difficult than Miles would have guessed.
"…But then again whips are preferred in that brothel, of course, and I'm all out."
Miles quickly turned to face Larry with a steely glare.
"Joking! Just joking!" Larry said, waving his hands out in front of him defensively.
"There will have to do. Your preposterous suggestions can wait until another night," Miles replied, gesturing towards a café just up the road.
Well, he presumed it was a café, even though the blinking neon sign read '-afé'.
Through the glass windows, Miles could see six or seven square tables with lucid, chequered red and green plastic mats on them. Two patrons were slumped in the far corner, bent over a newspaper.
He yanked the door open and accidentally-on-purpose managed to hit Larry on the nose with it before stalking over to the counter.
"Ow, what was that for!?" Larry called out indignantly. He rubbed his nose and sulkily sat down onto a spare table and chair set to start playing with the salt.
Miles eventually came back (after Larry had abused most of the spilt salt by drawing pictures of smiley faces) with some warm milk and Earl Grey tea. "Here you are, just how you like your milk, Larry."
"Dude, I'm not nine any more…" Larry drifted off and his blue eyes widened at the mug. "Whoa! Look, I even get marshmallows!"
Miles smirked and took the seat next to Larry. "Do you have any suggestions as to what can pass the time?" He asked, stirring his tea before taking a sip.
There was a pause as he re-tracked what he'd just said in his head.
"In fact, ignore that. You're going to do exactly as I say, and no strip clubs or brothels or skate parks."
"Why the hell would I want to go to a skate park?" Larry laughed and slapped him on the back. "Dude, you're crazy."
"Indeed."
Miles watched on in fascination as a still laughing Larry fished out a marshmallow and squished it between his fingers, eagerly watching the way the milk poured out of the spongy material.
He sighed. "Well, I suppose we're just going to have to sit in here for the rest of the time then."
Whipping a newspaper from the table next to them, Miles proceeded to read in peace for a good couple of minutes.
"Don't look now, but an amazingly cute, leggy, blonde girl just walked into this dump," Larry suddenly whispered into Miles' ear.
Larry assumed his 'laid-back' look which consisted of one arm stretched across the back of the chair and a tilted-head pose. Out of the corner of his mouth he whispered a muffled, "Is she looking? Is she looking yet?"
Miles lowered his paper to look over the top of it. "No. And I don't think rolling your sleeves up will help."
"Resistance is futile. She'll notice me in a second, dude, just you watch." Larry said, rolling his sleeves back down.
Miles raised a curious eyebrow, but said nothing more and got back to drinking his tea.
Sure enough, the blonde woman made her way over to the table.
"Hey, is that seat free? Would you mind awfully if I sat there?" She asked, twiddling with a bit of loose hair in a way that could only be described as 'flirtatiously'.
"Sure, babes, pull up a chair, and maybe we can get to know each other a bit better." Larry smoothly grabbed one from a nearby table for her to sit on, but she didn't seem to be expecting an answer from him…
Miles realised the sudden absence of sound from the two. He looked up from his newspaper to see what was wrong, only to find two pairs of hazel eyes staring back at him.
He blinked. "Excuse me?"
"I just asked if you wouldn't mind me sitting next to you," she said, eyeing him briefly up and down while still playing with the loose bit of hair.
Miles noted that an amazingly warm smile with tantalising hair flick from her made sure Larry was hypnotised.
"Darling, you don't want to talk to that stick in the mud, come over and sit here." Larry anxiously patted the chair next to him, but to no avail. She just ignored him and pulled up a seat next to Miles before he could even blink.
"So, what brings a guy like you to a place like this?" She gracefully rested her head on her hands and waited for an answer.
Miles folded his paper up and felt Larry lean to talk into his ear again. "Edgey, you're stealing my chick!"
"Oh really?" He whispered back, amusement clear in his voice. "Don't worry, Larry, she won't be interested in me. Just give me a few minutes to get rid of her."
Larry just grumbled.
Miles turned to face her again. "If you were wondering why I was hovering round such a dump, then it's a long story."
She laughed. "I suppose I should thank fate then for bringing such a treat." She dipped one manicured finger into his drink and licked it, not even looking at Larry once.
Miles looked disapprovingly at his tea. There was no way on earth he could drink that now. "And you are?"
"Don't worry about the complications, Sugar, all I see is an incredibly sophisticated, handsome man." At this she looked him up and down, seductively, it had to be noted.
"I wouldn't call Larry sophisticated, or handsome for that matter," Miles replied offhandedly.
"Larry? Is that your name? Well, I suppose if referring to yourself in third person floats your boat, it's a name that could roll off my tongue quite nicely."
Miles nearly jumped out of his seat when he felt something brush against his leg. "This must be a drafty place; I could have sworn I felt it on my leg there," he said innocently, looking towards the door pretending to check if it was closed or not.
He leaned back as she suddenly leaned forward.
"Playing hard to get, are we?" She replied, leaning in closer still.
With a little smirk, Miles leaned into her ear and whispered something so that Larry couldn't hear, before turning back round to face the bewildered man.
She sighed, got up and sauntered off.
"Two minutes, it's a record."
Larry gaped at him. "Dude, you were so totally in there! What did you go and say? Why did you blow her off? I would have done her!"
"Come off it, Larry."
"But… but… when was the last time you got laid? Edgey, man, don't tell me you didn't find her the least bit attractive?"
Miles sighed and didn't reply.
This reaction just provoked Larry even further.
"Come on! Tell me what you said to her!" He whined.
"You really want to know?"
"Uh, yes!"
"I told her that I had HIV."
Larry mouth fell open. "H…HI…. W…wha… Couldn't possibly… Wait a moment… isn't that contagious!?"
"No, it's not contagious, it's passed on by unprotected sex, and I don't really have it, I just wanted to get rid of her." Miles picked up his paper. "Now, please, just shut up while I wait for the call."
Larry managed to keep quiet for all of fifteen seconds. "But, dude, you never told her that, did you? Why the hell would you do that? She was so hot! You don't want her to tell all her gorgeous mates that you have a horrid disease! Oh my god I really don't understand you."
Miles shrugged. "I just didn't want to get with her, why can't you understand that?"
"Because she was pretty and nice looking, and you're a man," Larry replied, as if it was the simplest thing ever.
"Not all men have to get turned on by pretty women."
Miles mentally kicked himself; he had forgotten who he was talking to there for a second.
"Dude, that's just not right." Larry leaned forward and pressed the back of his hand to Miles' forehead. "Are you ill? Did she have head lice? Was her breath smelly?"
Miles forcibly removed Larry's hand and placed it back on the table "I'm perfectly fine, Larry, and she was in fine health too."
His phone started ringing in his pocket and he swiftly picked up the call.
"Alright, sir."
"Hello, is that Mr. Williams, the locksmith?" Miles replied.
"That is me, sir. Just ringing to say I'm at your door now. You may want to be here when I break that lock."
Miles held back on shouting out an undignified 'Finally'!
"Thank you, we'll be over shortly."
"Good day, sir."
Miles slipped the phone back into his pocket.
"Let this be a lesson to you, Larry: never lock yourself out of someone else's house by throwing the keys down the chimney." Miles drank the last of his tea before standing up. "You're also paying for the locksmith, of course."
Larry was off on another planet and apparently didn't hear him. Miles sighed. He must have been trying to work out why he sent the blonde woman away.
"Larry!" Miles waved his hand in front of the vacant expression of his friend.
Larry's mouth was hanging slightly open, with a bit of drool making its way down to his goatee.
"Look, the guy is there already. I want to go home, and as fun as tonight has been, I'm finished babysitting you, alright?"
After seeing that Larry wasn't going to respond any time soon, Miles grabbed his hand and pulled him up out of the café and down the street heading for the car park.
Larry had been the one to suggest they go out on the town while they waited for the guy to come and fix the lock. Without anything better to do, Miles had agreed on one condition - he had to be the one to drive them there. It was easy to lead him back towards the car park, and when they got there they ran into a familiar blonde woman.
She was leaning on a pillar, smoking a cigarette with a sulky look on her face.
Miles desperately tried to find a route around her, but it didn't look as though luck was on his side.
She caught sight of him and stood up straight, eyeing up the fact that Miles was currently dragging the man next to him by the hand.
"So, is that Phoenix? Well, I hope you're happy, blowing me off like that. We could have had something good." She flicked her cigarette to the floor. "All the best to you two, I suppose." She stubbed out her cigarette and opened her car door to get in.
That was a coincidence that Miles had not been expecting.
Larry regained normal function and shook off Miles' hand. "Edgey... What did you really tell her?"
"What are you talking about?" Miles answered in what he hoped was a breezy fashion.
He quickly pulled out his car key and made a mental note to add a house key to the ring, before opening the door as fast as he dared.
Larry climbed inside with him, and they set off in silence for the first five minutes, until…
"That blonde woman... How did she know Nick's name?"
"I wouldn't know." Miles gripped the steering wheel a bit harder.
"Right. So, you didn't mention anything about him to her at all then?"
"No, I did not." Miles hoped that Larry hadn't worked it out already, his gear changes were getting more and more rash.
"Right. Ok." Larry looked out the window and started to zone out again; Miles figured this was Larry's way of being sarcastic.
"What have you worked out, what do you know?"
Larry turned back around and blinked. "...Huh? You just said…"
"Stop patronising me! Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, tell me what you know!" Miles almost shouted.
"Chill, dude… I was just wondering how she would know Nick's name…"
"Phoenix, I mean, Wright has got nothing to do with this!" Miles looked furiously back and forth between Larry and the road.
Larry jumped up in his seat. "Since when have you called him Ph…"
"It's none of your business what I do in my spare time!" Hang on, Larry really didn't know what he was talking about, and Miles had just gone and stupidly said all that…
"…You're doing what? What's Nick got to do with anything?"
The car reached a sudden stop outside Miles' house and they both quickly jumped out of their seats like they had just been electrocuted.
"Edgey, what did you really tell that cute, blonde woman?" Larry said, his eyes narrowed and a solitary eyebrow rose.
"That I already have a partner," Miles replied quietly, casting his eyes to the floor to avoid Larry's gaze.
Larry stroked his chin. "First I've heard of that, what's her name?" He laughed. "Oh, and I didn't think that would have stopped her from hitting on you, Edgey."
"Ah, yes, maybe if I hadn't told her it was a boyfriend."
Larry nodded, that made perfect sense! If Miles was gay then of course she wouldn't hit on him. He walked down the driveway, happy that he had finally found out what had happened.
He was a great detective as well as philosopher, how talented.
Then he came to a sudden halt.
"Hang on, A WHAT?! Boyfriend, as in…"
"Of the male gender."
He spun around crazily. "You're joking, right?"
"Not this time."
Larry stared at him wide eyed for a while, and then shook his head. "Heh, I knew it was your feminine charms that got us into that club."
Miles rolled his eyes and a slightly awkward silence followed as Larry rocked backwards onto his heels a couple of times.
"So... You're queer?"
"No comment."
"You like it up the bum?"
"Larry…"
"You're a puff?"
"Insulting gay people won't get you anywhere," Miles replied.
He turned around to see his front door bust open already. It appeared the locksmith hadn't waited and could be spotted through the front window sitting down with a coffee in his hand.
"Who are you seeing then, Edgey?"
"Shut up, Larry."
"Who's the lucky man?" Larry asked with a wink and a nudge of the elbow. "Do I know him? Were you lying? Come on, Edgey, you can tell me!"
Miles kept his gaze focused on the inside of the front room and spotted a stray milk carton resting on the coffee table. Bloody locksmith had stolen the last of his milk.
"Edgey! Edgey! EDGEY!"
Miles rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine." With a smirk he turned to pin Larry against the wall. "You really want to know?" He asked in a gravelly tone.
"Yes I d-" Larry squeaked and cut off the rest of his sentence as Miles leaned in slightly too close, face centimetres away from his own. "Dude, what th- What are you doing!?"
Miles' smirk grew wider and he whispered something into Larry's ear.
Larry's mouth dropped for the second time.
"But secretly I've been after someone else, someone who I know just as well," Miles said sensually as leaned in even further towards Larry, making their noses brush together. "Do you know who that is?"
"Oh my god, no!" Larry looked panicked, squirming to get out of Miles' grasp. "No, no, no! I may be ridiculously handsome, but no! We're friends! You and him? And now me?! I… I…"
And with that, Larry blacked out.
He never heard the chuckle off Miles.
Larry was so conceited that Miles knew his joke would have made the key-flinging incident cancelled out. He carried the limp figure into his car and sat him up in the front seat. He picked up his phone and dialled a number he knew only too well.
"Hello?"
"Miles?" The tired voice asked. "Everything OK?"
Miles chuckled. "Yes it is. Very. I think Larry's finally figured us out."
There was a pause on the other end of the line."…What?!"
"Don't worry, he's sound asleep," Miles replied casually, as though that made it all better.
"Oh my God… Miles, how can you be so calm about this?" The other person's voice gained a panicky tone. "He's not going to disown us is he?"
"No, I don't think he's too bothered by it all." Miles decided to miss out the part about him blacking out after being mockingly hit on. "Hopefully he'll think it was a bad dream."
"Damn't!" There was a loud noise that came from the other end that sounded like the other person had hit the desk, then the sound of scuffling that sounded like the person had started pacing. "…Won't he think it's strange? We've all been such good friends…"
"Stop being an idiot and get a grip," Miles replied hotly. "Look, he was going to find out sometime, and now is as good a time as any. If he's a true friend, he won't think any more of this relationship."
There was a hesitation, before the voice spoke up again."I… I suppose…" This was punctuated with a long sigh. Miles could just imagine the person rubbing their hair in an exasperated manner."I need to see you again… I can't get you out of my head."
Miles closed his eyes and smiled gently. He had been having the exact same problem. "Same place?"
"Geeze, I'm so looking forward to that spacey cupboard, Edgeworth." This was laced with sarcasm.
"It's not me that doesn't want people to see us together," Miles scoffed.
"But once more people figure it out… I'm scared what people will think! What impact would it have on my job if people knew I was dating a prosecutor?"
"Don't worry your pretty little defence attorney head about it," Miles replied, not unkindly. "You know I don't care what people think about us."
"…I do."
Miles' voice melted and his tone became serious as he said the last line with all the sincereness he could muster.
"I'll always stick by you, Phoenix. Always. I won't push you to take a step further unless you're ready."
He saw the smile that graced Phoenix's lips in his mind.
Without waiting for a response, Miles cut off the call and rested his back on the car seat, smiling genuinely and thinking about tomorrows prospects.
Larry's discovery was definitely a step in the right direction.
-Fin-