Disclaimer: I do not own RomeoxJuliet or any of its affiliations. :D

Also all statistics and websites (mostly) in this crack are fake. And I made up some quotes :D. So enjoy this crack story the wonderful Kai commands it!

In a time and place that does not exist or is known by anyone, the RomeoxJuliet characters lived happily and frolicked and flourished in a modern/renaissance time period. Of course in this world there happened to be no death so Romeo and his Juliet were alive and well. On a particularly boring Sunday after noon the gang was at Juliet's palace for the weekly rave. However there was a shortage of glow sticks so they retired to the computer room to find comfort in the mystical internet.

"Ok so we're going to vote on what site to visit. Let's begin with nominations." Juliet proclaimed boldly.

Mercutio raised his hand, "Crazies 'R !"

Juliet nodded and wrote it up on the white bored behind her.

"!" Conrad giggled.

Juliet wrote it on the bored.

"" Tybalt spoke up and hugged Romeo from behind.

Juliet was about to write it when Romeo screamed "Rape!!!" She turned and Tybalt was on the other side of the room in a dark corner while Romeo hid under the computer desk wrapped in a blanket sobbing. Juliet shrugged and jotted the website down.

Curio whooped, "Veggiesgonewild!!!"

Juliet threw an eraser at him. "No that's creepy."

Francisco smiled, "How about Youtube?"

Willie hit Francisco over the head with a skillet. "No! What we need is culture! What every one here needs is a look into the hearts of every day normal people's fantasies! What we need is-"

Antonio interrupted him "OMGpandas!!" Willie struck Antonio with a leek.

"Darn you Antonio! No animals!" Willie screeched but then cleared his throat. "What I was going to say is !!!"

Juliet looked confused, "What's that?"

Willie leapt into the computer chair and typed the URL into the search engine. "It's a place where people write their takes on great works!" He clicked around the website and eventually landed in the RomeoxJuliet archive. "Here is where the people write their whim of the story. Check it out." Willie quickly scooted away from the computer desk while the crowed rushed in.

"'On the bleakest day two brothers realize there is more to there relationship…'" Romeo read aloud "'RoXTy wArNInG: LEMONS!!!' What the heck does lemons mean?!"

Curio pushed Romeo out of the way "Maybe it's about the love Curio has for the tangy sour citrus!"

"Fool! Your name's not even on it!" Conrad hissed and clicked the story. Slowly the group read it to them selves.

Romeo turned pale "W-what is this nonsense?" He asked his voice barley audiable.

Tybalt seemed giddy "The future dear brother!"

Curio looked crestfallen "Wait…where's the lemons?"

Juliet shuddered into a seizure and seized all over on the floor. Her awkward sharp movements made her move across the floor loudly.

Every one ignored her though, and continued with their adventure on .

"Hey look a character poll!" Francisco smiled warmly eating a cookie and getting chocolate all over the precious iMac screen.

Willie clicked it. "Alright the #1 character is moi!"

Romeo peeked out of his rape shield blanket. "Not-uh it's Me. Most of my fans are into the kind of boy that likes to be slapped and enjoy hard labor."

"Then its Juliet for the girl's that are into cross dressing conflicted heroine characters. Hey where is Juliet?" Benvolio asked after reading the chocolate covered screen.

"Eh who cares I'm tired of saving her." Tybalt groaned and stood behind Romeo to read the screen. "In 3rd there's Willie, his fans are mostly drama department nerds in under privileged colleges."

Willie stood up and bowed with tears in his eyes. "I shall now go thank each and every one of them with a personal letter from moi!" and then he skipped out the room tripping on the now still Juliet and falling down the grand stair case.

"4th is me!" Cordelia smiled and read on "My friends are mostly guys that dig the older sister maid character."

"5th is Curio, his fans are deranged band geeks and girls with a 'keep your feelings bottled up' complex." Antonio read. "6th is me," He continued, "Mostly 30-40 year old men."

Francisco pushed Antonio out of the way. "What?! I'm the last with my fans being the creepy silent type…" Francisco then pirouetted out a window.

Curio read the next "6th is Tybalt. His main fans are girls who dig the emo character." Tybalt pouted in the corner flipping his hair with out touching it "I'm not emo!" Curio shook his head "7th is Mercutio, inmates in FBI prisons picked him."

Romeo smiled "9th Conrad is just after Benvolio whose main fans are into guys that can't do any house work. Conrad your fans are….death?"

Just then Death walked past the room and blew a kiss at Conrad. Conrad shuddered "Talk about a cougar."

Cordila smiled after a long silent moment, "Well let's go get some tea and cakes. I think House is on."

"I love House!" Juliet leapt up and ran down the stairs.

"Eh, like there's anything better to do." Mercutio shrugged and headed down the stairs.

Curio stood up and waved good bye to Tybalt and Romeo, "Later I got to go run from the deranged fans ya'know?" He turned and closed the door behind him.

Tybalt turned to his younger brother, "Well little brother, hows about you and me make some lemonade?" He winked.

Romeo curled up tighter in his rape blanket. "OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" He screamed.

Author's note: Here's another crack I hope you enjoyed it and don't worry Romeo and Tybalt actually had lemonade (the drink) nothing dirty there :D Well reviews and ideas are always appreciated. Spot light on reviewer!!!!!!! TheSecondMeow is a good friend and I'd like to thank her for reviewing my first crack. She's the sweetest so check her out.

A crack writer

Kai