Magic?

by the fictional therapist

After Proven Guilty Murphy and Harry are sat in front of his fire, beers in hand, when Harry realises that getting drunk isn't going to help either of them feel better, but there's something magical that Harry thinks might make a dejected Murph feel a little better. But it's not magic that helps either of them in the end; it's something a little more human.

Rating- M

Words-6951

Disclaimer- the Dresden Files, Harry Dresden, Karrin Murphy et al, belong to Jim Butcher. The only thing that belongs to me is this weird idea.

I had just gotten back from my lunch with wizard McCoy, which had thankfully ended much more happily than it had started, and Murphy was lounging dejectedly in one of my mismatched chairs. She had been waiting on me for a while, if the beer she had gotten from the crate behind Mouse's food bags; the fire burning brightly in the fireplace; the leather biking jacket and boots kicked off by the door and the furry mountain wrapped around her legs was any indication.

She was staring down into Mac's brew when I walked in, only looking up when the heavy steel door shut rather dramatically behind me, no matter how quietly I had tried to close it so as to not disturb her. Murph's big blue eyes flicked up at my brown ones, and I immediately saw just how hurt she was, the tears that she had so clearly fought to contain dripping down her cheeks when our eyes locked. I stared deeply into her eyes, seeing how much this last adventure with me had cost her, and how much she had lost in the last couple of hours. I had known her for so long that I could just tell how she thought about something just from the way the blue in her eyes lightened or darkened.

I knew there was a chance that a soul gaze could happen if both of us kept our gazes locked for much longer, but the pain that was evident in her beautiful eyes stopped me from looking away. Tears spilled down her cheeks silently while she looked into me, and it pained me to know that she cried so quietly. Even if I couldn't look away Murphy had the presence of mind to pull her eyes away from mine, smoothing the tearstains from her face without looking back at me, burying her face in her hands while she smoothed her façade of calm back onto her face. When she brought her head back up a casual observer would never have noticed that she had been crying, but Karrin Murphy was my best friend, and there was no way that I wouldn't notice the slight shininess in her eyes, or the red puffiness around them. Oh Murph.

Murphy knew that I had noticed, but in the time honoured tradition between the two of us we ignored it. She gestured to the blue armchair opposite her stripy one, and returned to staring into her opened but full beer bottle. Mouse had sat through her crying without moving an inch, knowing that Murphy needed to be left in peace while she worked it out, and when I took up position across from her as usual he sighed in annoyance at his master's, sorry food provider's, refusal to do something about Murph's distress. Stars and stones, even my dog could see that there was non-platonic tension between Murph and me. It must have been really obvious.

But she needed me now, so it was really not the time to worry about our romantic relationship or lack thereof. Instead I stretched my arm and beckoned for a beer. It appeared in my hand with a grateful, if saddened smile from my friend that I wasn't pursuing my usual tactic of taking the mick to make her stop worrying. An off colour joke or two wouldn't help her feel better this time. I doubted that even the amazing brew we were both nursing could fix the damage now.

I needed to try something new, tell her how sincerely sorry I was. My eyes narrowed and I tried not to cry at seeing my brave Murphy so destroyed by something that was at least partially my fault. "Murph, I, I'm so, so immeasurably sorry. I just want you to talk to me, to tell me how you feel." I knew that whatever I said couldn't fix anything, but I needed to try. Karrin apparently had other ideas, interrupting me with a raised hand and a glare.

"Harry, don't. I chose to abandon the investigation of my own free will, and I chose to come with you instead of doing my job because it was the right thing to do, because I wanted to help Molly. It was the right thing to do. Don't blame yourself for what I chose. The mess my career's in now is my fault not yours and I have to deal with it. I don't want to talk about this anymore. OK?"

But I wasn't OK. She sounded bitter, and new tears glittered in her eyes. It made my heart clench to hear her talking like that, like an old, scarred veteran. Which, I realised, was exactly what being my friend had turned Karrin into. She had gained scars, mental and physical, from her adventures with me, her career the latest in a long line of sacrifices she had made to help me. Dammit. One of these days I would make this up to her, make amends for how much I had hurt her. I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't.

We both ignored the bitter tension and sipped at the warm beers we had been holding for a while. It tasted good, Mac's homebrews always do, but there was something different in it now, something nasty and disgusting that I presumed came from my mouth rather than from the bottle. I put it down by my side, on the floor. I didn't need to taint the brew with my own feelings. Another beer was placed on the floor across from me, only a couple of sips taken from it.

Hell's Bells, nothing I had tried was making Murphy, start talking to me. Dammit, getting her drunk had been my last resort. Well, my last non-magical resort anyway. Now I would have to go down to the lab and try to get Bob to come up with a way to help Karrin talk about how depressed she was, preferably a way that didn't cause anything to explode, burn or get destroyed at all. That should majorly limited the amount of trouble he could cause. I had to help the woman that I lo- cared about who was slumped down in my chair, still trying not to cry in front of me. She was destroyed, and it was my job to rebuild her.

I stood up abruptly, having come up with an idea of the sort of thing that might help her out. I shifted the heavy rugs from on top of the hatch, shoving them aside a bit more carefully than usual to not disturb Murph. The hatch opened almost silently, far quieter than its usual squeaking and it was as though even my apartment felt how sad she was and reacted accordingly. My dog certainly was, lying across her feet with his oversized head in her lap, getting a head rub from his favourite person in the world. At least someone seemed to be making her feel a bit better, even if it was Mouse not me.

I ran down the stairs, shutting the hatch quietly behind me. It wouldn't help to have her hear about what I was going to do, what with her aversion to help, magical help in particular. The potion had in mind was questionable in its integrity, and she wouldn't be happy to hear about what I planned. Anyway, what with Bob's continued problem with censoring his opinions about me having sex with Murphy, it was for the best that she didn't hear what was going on in the lab. She really didn't need that right now. Bob started talking the second I walked near him, his eyes lighting up animatedly.

"Harry, did I hear a certain Lieutenant Murphy come in a while back, while you were out?" his voice was a conspiratorial whisper, one eye light narrowing in an approximation of a wink. I was already digging around on shelves looking for what I thought I needed for the potion that just might work.

"Yeah, Bob, you did hear Sergeant Murphy come in, she's upstairs right now upset as hell and she won't talk about it. I mean, she just got demoted because of what she did to help Molly, to help me, and all she keeps saying is that it's not my fault, it was her choice and she has to deal with it on her own. But she isn't dealing with it, she's just wallowing in it, and she sounds so bitter and resigned. I need to help her Bob. I just need her to talk to me." I was still pulling things down from shelves and setting them on the table in the middle of the lab, cursing and muttering under my breath when I couldn't find things or remember the next item I needed.

"Bob, is it copper or iron that goes into the truth potion?"

"Why do you want to-no Harry, just no. You are not magically dosing Murphy to get her to talk to you!" Bob's eye lights narrowed again, this time in the way a disapproving father would at his misbehaving son. It was amazing that a skull with spotlights for eyes could convey so many emotions. But he could, and his current expression was making me feel very guilty for what I had planned.

"Bob, I know it's bad, but how else am I going to get her to talk to me?" I was pathetic, truly and utterly. I couldn't get my best friend to open up to me, so I was trying to drug her into talking to me. How messed up is that?

"Er, how about you ask her?"

"I can't just ask her Bob, she's not gonna tell me that easily. It's Murphy." If it was that easy I would just ask whatever I wanted to, and she would give me a straightforward answer. As if our relationship was that straightforward.

"Maybe she would talk to you if you told her that you didn't just want to know as a friend, but as something more. Maybe if you were just honest with her then she would be honest with you."

I burned with anger and repressed sadness, and I stormed over to Bob to tell him just how wrong he was. "I was honest with her, I told her how I feel about her and how much I want her, and she told me that for now she needs someone casual and easy, which is Kincaid and not me, and in the future she needs someone stable and committed, a guy to grow old and have kids with, which is gonna be some Irish Catholic cop, not me. So I was honest with her, and she was honest with me, and all it did was hurt us both immeasurably. She said that I couldn't even try to do casual with her, however much I wanted to, because she was just second choice after Susan, and I'm going to abandon her if Susan ever decides to come back to me. That would never happen, but she is so convinced that she can't be my first choice that she won't let me prove to her that she's wrong. And I just want to be with her so much. I physically want to kill Kincaid just for having the balls to be with Murphy. My Murphy. Only she isn't my Murphy because she doesn't want to be." I had unwittingly broken down in front of Bob's shelf my anger giving way to complete, all-consuming sadness that had tears rolling down my cheeks and my head on my hands. Bob's eyes were locked on mine, his unfaltering gaze drying my tears with its simple intensity.

"Harry, you are so dense sometimes. Do you honestly think that she doesn't want you? If she didn't want you then she wouldn't have said anything about casual relationships or growing old with someone, and she certainly wouldn't have mentioned Susan. When has Murphy been anything other than direct with you? If she genuinely didn't want you she would have just said so. She just thinks she isn't good enough for you, because you need serious and she can only do casual, because she can't grow old with you and because she isn't Susan. As far as she's concerned she is just your second choice, which is why she isn't talking to you. She doesn't think you care enough to blight you with her problems."

Dammit, my Murph was alone in my apartment depressed and crying, whilst totally convinced that I didn't care about her. My heart tightened with just how much I cared about her, and again when I realised how alone she must have felt while she was at her most vulnerable. I nodded my thanks to Bob, dried my eyes and ran back up my ladder to my apartment, needing to tell the woman I cared about just how much I cared.

When I emerged from the darkened lab Karrin was still curled up in the chair, my dog lounging across the floor in front of her while she stared off into nothingness with reddened, puffy eyes. There were tear tracks still under her eyes, and she wiped at them quickly when she saw me coming. This would have been a hell of a lot easier if she hadn't just been demoted, if she hadn't already been upset. But I guess I wouldn't have had the cojones to do it if she hadn't been upset already. I walked over to the chair and gently shooed Mouse out of the way, ignoring wonder dog's whining protests and grumbles and settling down on my knees in front of Karrin.

Knelt down my brown eyes and her blue ones were about level, and the tears that spilled over despite her attempts to contain them burned at my soul. When she brought up her hands to wipe at her eyes I seized my chance and grabbed her wrists, leaving the tears dripping down her cheeks while we looked just under each other's eyes in a way we had long since perfected.

"Karrin," I began "we need to talk." Her eyes flicked away from mine, and I could see the protests forming in them. "No Murph, I've had enough of you stopping our conversations because you don't want to have them. In the last couple of days enough bad things have happened without you and me falling out. I just want to tell you how much I care about you, without any of our usual avoidance tactics. I care about you so much that knowing that you got demoted today because of me is killing me, and the thought of you hiding your tears from me because you don't want me to see you cry just gives me actual physical pain. I just want you to know, without any hope that you'll feel the same, that I think I love you. Not because I nearly lost you, not because I miss Susan but because I really, really love you, and I need you to say something Murph because you have sat so quietly this whole time and it's scaring me."

She sat stock still in the chair in front of me, her hands not moving from my grasp. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to say something but then stopping. Her mouth apparently found a better way to tell me how she felt about what I had said, because her lips gave up trying to talk and instead sealed against mine in the sweetest kiss I had ever had. It was tentative and gentle, with her mouth almost still as she waited for me to seize or deny the opportunity. I seized it with both hands.

My hand released her wrists and both her hands flew to my face, carefully holding my jaw and caressing up to my hairline as my lips moved faster and more passionately against hers. My hands landed on her waist and my fingers spread from the bottom of her bra to the top of her waistband, my massive hand span containing nearly her entire back. Slowly and steadily the tentative kiss grew more assured and therefore more passionate, our lips moving almost in sync faster and faster before Murph's tiny tongue slinked against my mouth. I opened up gladly, revelling in the feel of my Murphy's tongue slithering and slinking against mine. To think that twenty minutes previously I had been crying and convinced that she didn't want me.

The whimpers and mewls that she let out when my tongue slipped out and battled against hers for dominance were turning me on, and my jeans were feeling tight against the growing bulge in the front of them. The hands that had wrapped around her back pulled her tighter against me, dragging her off the chair and into my waiting lap. Our mouths broke apart for only a second, but we moaned in stereo as her core brushed against the bulge that was getting painfully large inside the confines of my jeans.

The position we had assumed wasn't exactly comfortable, with my long legs crushed awkwardly under our combined weight and Murph's back shoved against my chair cushions, but it was all forgotten when our mouths reconnected, years of denied passion and repressed feelings exploding into the best kiss I had ever had. To think Murphy had been convinced that she wasn't as good for me as Susan. Susan who?

My hands were running up and down her back, caressing from the tops of her shoulders to the waistband of her jeans. Her cotton Cubs t-shirt was rough and irritating under my hands, and even my scarred, damaged hand wanted to feel skin underneath it, and the lack of skin on skin contact was testing my patience. I had waited literally years to be with her like this, and I was willing to take this slowly, she was hurting and upset and needy, and I had to take this slow for her. A bit belatedly I realised that Murphy's hand had wormed its way under my t-shirt and was exploring my pecs and stomach with fingertips and nails. I forgot my careful approach and started pulling at the Cubs shirt with both hands, rapidly teasing it from her waistband and up over her shoulders. I was exploring every inch of skin that I exposed with first my eyes, then my trailing hand, and Karrin arched into my touch, little moans and whimpers escaping her whenever I hit sensitive spots, moans I echoed when she scraped her clipped nails across my chest and stomach, raising red welts with her force. She smiled at my groans, a laugh dying in her throat when I rubbed circles up her back with my undamaged thumb.

I pulled back from her with a regretful noise, and her mouth followed mine away until I whipped her shirt over her head and she realised what I was getting at. She put her arms up while I tore it off her, throwing it across the room and probably on top of a bookshelf. I appraised her muscular physique with my eyes, from her defined abs up to her perfect handful breasts, contained in an oh-so Murphy practical black sports bra. But the woman in front of me, half undressed and dishevelled in my lap was not the badass, ass kicking, scowling and glaring Murphy, she was vulnerable, depressed, shy and whimpering Karrin, the woman who was still convinced that she wasn't good enough for me. Fingers followed the line that my eyes had mapped out, tracing the ridges in between her rock hard abs, the softened edges of her hips and up to the stretchy fabric of the sports bra. I was thoroughly enjoying my exploration of Karrin's body, and she was too, her eyes struggling to stay open while she tried to pull my shirt off.

Her fumbling at my shirt was slowing down our mutual exploration, so I pulled back and pulled the plain black tee over my head and flung it into the kitchen. Karrin's eyes went wide in the flickering light of the fireplace as she took in my runner's stomach, opening even wider when she took in my scars, the white lines that crisscrossed my abdomen from the beating I had received diving to my girl's aid the year before.

"Oh, Harry." She murmured, suddenly sobered. A single tear dripped down her cheek, and I wiped it away with my scared thumb. The flames flickered in her wet eyes, and I could see the worry I had felt for her earlier reflected back at me.

"Don't worry about it Karrin, it'll be fine in a few years. I'm a wizard after all." I tried to smile and laugh with her, but the moment was such that all I could do was stare at her with all the love I could muster, and just hope that she understood what she meant to me.

She obviously did, because she looked back at my stomach and ran a fingertip lightly over the scar lines, tentatively stroking along the white patterns. It was so caring, so loving, that I was in no doubt over how much she loved me, how much she cared about me. I was almost overcome with feelings for the woman nestled in my lap, and I reached down, caught her chin and pulled her lips back up to mine, capturing them in the sweetest, most gentle kiss I had ever given another person. It was so full of love that the tears started flowing from both our eyes again, rolling down our faces as we both explored each other's backs and stomachs with soothing caresses. Karrin pulled her knees from under her on my lap and put her legs around my back, putting her warm core directly on the bulge in my jeans, and rocked her pelvis against mine to remind me of the end goal we had both been ignoring while we did our cute caring romance stuff.

I was still afraid to move this on, however much little Dresden wanted and needed me to do something. I was happy to keep on kissing her, but taking another step towards what we were building up to was beyond me. Karrin apparently saw my hesitation, sighed into my mouth and then did something about it. One of her small, strong hands wrapped around each of mine, still positioned on her waist, and placed them on her breasts. Although they were smaller than usual they were soft and a perfect handful for me. I desperately needed to get the bra off her, to feel bare skin against my hands, and I reached behind her toned back for a clasp while stroking over her breast with my other hand. I struggled to open the bra for several seconds before Karrin tsked at me and batted my hands away.

"Sports bra, Dresden. Doesn't have a clasp." She leaned away from me ever so slightly and pulled the black striped Lycra over her head and onto the chair behind her, fighting the urge to cover up while I stared at her attentively. Pale skin was revealed slowly as her arms came back down, and she set her jaw and leaned back a little, letting me see her clearly. The light from the flickering embers lit her up, glinting off the sweat droplets that covered her chest and stomach, giving her an unnatural glow that was completely her, like how I saw her under my sight, only even more beautiful. Now she was my Murphy, finally.

My Murphy who was braless and whimpering in my lap while I sat and admired her form. My hands eventually got the message and moved around to their previous places, one under each breast. Her pale pink nipples were calling to me, the tightened buds demanding my attention. I flicked a thumb over each in turn, and Karrin's deep throated groans spurred me on further. I had to fight to ignore her fingernails scraping down my back appreciatively or I would go all caveman and take her right there, and she deserved better than that. I pinched one nipple between thumb and forefinger and Murphy just snapped and apparently she didn't think she was, her mouth joining back to mine and her hands tugging at the belt keeping my jeans up. She was moaning and biting at my lip and tugging at my belt, but her fumbling hands couldn't get my belt through the loop, and she was moaning at that as well.

I needed to move this to a more appropriate locale, because no matter how sexy the flickering firelight looked on Karrin, I had done sex on the floor and it ended with scratches from my stone floor and a bad back from sleeping on a less than soft surface. Karrin Murphy deserved better from me than that. She was unaware of my personal decision and continued to try to assail my belt buckle, but I was having none of it. I had strength and size on my side, and I hoped Murph was relaxed enough to let me do what I was going to try. I put my hands round her back and pulled her even closer to me, crushing her pillow soft chest against my pecs and her stomach against mine, and stood up. She kept kissing me while I adjusted her on my hips, and only seemed to realise we were moving when I knocked her head into the door of my bedroom while I flicked the light switch.

A yelp escaped her mouth as she pulled away from me. "Harry, watch it. I need my head you know. Wait, when did we move?" Her face was covered with a look of confusion.

"Aw, that's cute babe. You were so caught up in kissing me that you didn't notice me picking you up. I must be really good." She slapped my chest and gave me a very Murphy glare, but her pelvis thrusted against my hips, and I could see how much she needed me.

"Harry, why did we have to move? It's disrupted the mood." She frowned at me.

"Murphy," I whined "I think you deserve better than a quickie on the floor. I want to ravish you." I showed Karrin that I meant it by pinching her ass and capturing her pounding pulse point between my teeth. I walked the last two steps to my bed and threw Murphy down on it; almost laughing at how ridiculously small she looked on my European extra length bed. She looked like a goddess with her blonde hair spread out like a halo underneath her, sweaty chest heaving with the exertion and pulling at her jeans button and zipper. I was just stood there staring at her while she tried to strip for me. Murphy wasn't having that.

"Harry." She whined. "Get. Those. Jeans. Off." She growled, pulling her jeans down with every word. The second I saw her black boy shorts, twin to the bra she had removed earlier, I was at my belt like a madman, pulling it through the loops and undoing the buckle at practically the speed of light. I had my jeans off almost before she had hers down, the thick material pooling around my ankles with my belt still attached. I sighed in audible relief when my erection was released from the confines of my jeans, tenting up my boxers as much as was possible. I stood in front of Karrin, exposed to her as she had been to me only moments before, and shimmied out of the blue boxers with pentagrams. I was now completely naked in front of my best friend, and soon to be lover, waiting for her appraisal. She looked up at me suddenly, and her eyes widen as she took in little Harry. Or not-so little Harry, if Murph's shocked reaction was any indication.

"Harry. You, you're so, so big."

"Thanks, Murph." I took it as a compliment, but Karrin didn't look appreciative at all, she looked shocked, apprehensive and a little bit truly scared.

"No, Harry, I mean you're really big. I've never had a guy as big as you before. I should've suspected that this was going to be a problem, you're so tall and I'm so petite. There was no way we were going to fit together. This isn't going to work. Dammit, Harry." She was really and truly panicking now, but I had to admit she was probably right, I'm pretty big down there and she was so small all over, I just didn't see where she was going to fit all of me. But I owed it to Murphy, and to myself, to try.

"Murphy, this is going to work. I promise you, I will make this work whatever it takes. I love you and I promise I am going to make this work." I meant it completely.

She ditched her cute, practical little boy shorts and beckoned me over to her with a worried smile. I returned the smile, with a few worries of my own making it a little less than perfect, but entirely us. I spent a single moment staring at my wonderful best friend, the woman I loved, spread out on my bed, sweaty, excited and apprehensive. And naked. She was truly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

I slid over to the bed and settled over her, our lips reconnecting the moment we were near enough, our tongues battling and duelling across both our mouths with wet sounds. I was arched over her so that I could reach her mouth but not dwarf her, she was already insecure about our relative sizes. One of my hands left the station it had assumed on the side of her face to test how ready she was for me. This was going to be difficult as it was, but if she wasn't ready it would be next to impossible. I needn't have worried. The second my rough fingertips ran up the inside of her thigh her breath halted and a gush of wetness hit my hand. Oh, she was ready alright.

But there was still something I needed to know, just how tight a fit it would be. To ascertain this I gently slipped a finger into her, revelling in her moans and cries as I moved it around inside her. Right, so she was tight, but I could already feel her walls starting to give around my finger, and they stretched more when I added a second finger, to Murphy's delight. It was going to be a tight fit, but I thought it would work. Not in the current position though, because there was still a considerable size discrepancy and Murphy needed to be in control so I didn't hurt her. After all the hurt I had put her through recently I couldn't bear the thought of causing her pain, however minor, especially when she was finally going to be mine in the most primal of ways. So Murphy would need to be on top. That was ok, most of my recent fantasizing about her had been with her on top, she did tend to overpower and dominate me everywhere else.

I thrust a few more times with two fingers, stretching Karrin out a little more with each carefully curved movement, every one of which encouraged a hip thrust and appreciative moan from Murph. The moans rapidly dwindled when I removed my soaking wet fingers, the moisture on them glittering in the light. She looked down at me accusingly, her eyes questioning why I had stopped. Then her voice was questioning it too.

"Harry, I was so, so, close. Why, did, you, have, to, stop?" She panted, her eyes glazed over with arousal and her hips still pushing erratically at my hand to try and get the friction she needed.

"Murph, I'm close too, and I need to be inside you when that happens. I need you to be with me Karrin." I really meant it. Karrin apparently wasn't buying it; her hips weren't stopping their repetitive thrusts. This was meant more than just sex for both of us, and I wanted it to be special. "I want this to be special, Karrin. I need this to be special."

Her hips stopped immediately. She looked down at me and there were tears in her eyes, tiny droplets running down her cheeks. She smiled at me sadly. "Harry," she murmured, sitting up onto my lap and putting her hand against my stubbly jaw. I turned and nuzzled into her palm, pressing her hand against me with my unscarred one, and lightly kissed the centre of her palm. It was an intimate gesture, and the loving contact had tears from my eyes too. "Oh, Harry, how could this be anything but special? You love me and I love you. That automatically makes it more special than anything I have ever done in my life, because I love you, Harry Dresden, like I have never loved another person in my life." She was crying her eyes out now, tears streaming down her face, mirroring mine. All this time I had been convinced she didn't care and she loved me the whole time. Our lips met in the sweetest kiss I had ever had, a kiss without expectation of anything more, even if we were both naked and aroused in my bed.

We both knew what we needed, with Murphy's wet core practically dripping against the thigh she was sat against, and my over inflated need pressing into the solid muscles of her abdomen. However sweet and romantic the crying kiss was, we needed something more lest we die of sexual tension naked together in my bed. I still didn't want to move though, the soft pressure of her lips on mine too alluring to discontinue. Murphy disagreed.

"Harry. I need you." She murmured into my mouth, pressing against my chest and gently pushing me back on to the bed. This was the Murphy I fantasised about, the dominant, aggressive one, but the way she kept her lips connected to mine and tears that still dripped down her cheeks were entirely the Karrin who I had gotten to know, the emotional, loving and caring one. Murphy was taking over though, shoving insistently at me until I lay back down. She settled higher up on my thighs, directly below not-so little Harry. She gave me a few quick, precise strokes, and I could see the way her eyes glittered at my groan. She would never again be able to think that I didn't need or want her as much as she needed me.

In the space of a breath she was positioned with her knees on either side of me, pushing up until she was hovering directly over my tip. My bare, uncovered tip. Shit. I was about ten seconds away from being buried to the hilt in Karrin Murphy, and I wasn't wearing a condom. There weren't any in my apartment either, I had had no use for them. Shit.

"Er, Karrin?" I was truly panicked now. If I ruined this by not having protection I would personally kill myself.

"Mhmm?" Karrin was apparently too engrossed in what she was doing to pay attention to me. Dammit.

"Karrin, I, er, I haven't got any protection." Her eyelids didn't even flutter. It was like she wasn't even surprised.

"Dresden, did you honestly think I hadn't noticed. I'm on the pill Harry, and I'm clean. I know you are. I need you Harry. Please?" The pleading in her voice was adorable, so I relaxed back down, put my hands on Karrin's hips and ran my thumbs along the bottom curve of her breasts as she slowly lowered herself down onto me, just an inch at a time.

Feeling my tip breach her was mind blowing. Her hot, tight walls stretched around me, but it was a damn tight fit. I was still scared I might hurt her, she was whimpering and groaning at the stretch, but she didn't seem pained. She took the second inch, her arousal making it a little easier to get it in, even if it was still a tight fit, and moaned and whimpered when my ridged length rubbed against her walls. My thumbs were brushing ever so slightly over her nipples, building her up with every inch. She took a few more inches before it started to become difficult, Karrin's pleasured groans turning into pained grunts as she tried to stretch for the last couple of inches of me. My girl wanted to take all of me. But there was no way she was going to take any more; there just wasn't the space inside her to get further. Dammit.

"I'm sorry Harry." She was crying again, but they weren't happy tears this time. Somehow I had managed to hurt her even more while trying to help her feel better. She fell onto my chest, sweaty and disappointed, and I held her while she cried into my chest, my heart heaving with every sob that wracked her form. "Harry, I'm so sorry. I should have known this wouldn't work. When does anything ever go right for us?" Karrin was so pained, her voice breaking.

But maybe it wasn't over yet. Just because the way I had thought to try hadn't worked didn't mean it wouldn't work at all. So we couldn't get it to work in the most usual position. So what? We would just need to get creative with this. This made me think of something.

"Karrin, it's ok. We'll get it to work babe, we just need to try something different. I have an idea that I think might work, you just need to trust me. First you need to sit back up."

She did it immediately, settling back to where she was still impaled on me. She whimpered in pain as the action tried to force me deeper again, but got her knees under her and stabilised on me. I smiled.

"Yeah, just like that baby. Now get off me." She whimpered as she lifted off me, hurt at the loss of contact between us. I was hurt by it too; the insistent throbbing of my cock making me need to be back inside Murphy, but it couldn't be in this position. She rolled off me; lying against the headboard in a way that was so alluring I almost forgot my idea and just tried to take her right there.

I followed through though, and sat up, legs bent underneath me with my cock straight up from my lap. Karrin smiled and seemed to understand what I wanted to do, finally, and crawled over to me in a sexy, slinky way that had me even more worked up than before. She settled into my lap, her hot, swollen folds pressing against the base of my erection. Then she lifted up, slowly and easily, and pressed down onto me.

In this position I almost slid into her, her muscles giving much more easily now she was sat up. With only a little pushing and thrusting I was in her to the hilt, velvety softness encasing my entire length. Karrin seemed frozen in pleasure, her mouth open wide, eyes closed and head thrown back. Every time her heart beat her stretched walls fluttered around me, massaging my erection in a way that was dangerous, given my current state of arousal and how long I had waited for Karrin. I put my hands back on her waist and lifted her up off me, her pleasure haze giving way long enough that she lifted herself up even higher than I expected, until she was hovering on my tip. She dropped back down as fast as she could. It was amazing.

"Karrin!" I moaned. It was too good. I was going to come really soon unless we slowed this down, and no matter how vocal Karrin was I was certain she wasn't quite there yet. I needed to do something for her. I slipped one of my hands down from her hip and positioned it under the nerve bundle that I knew would make her fall apart with a few touches. Karrin lifted up off me again, and when she dropped back down my hand caught her just right, rubbing the nerve cluster with the edge of my thumb. If her high pitched keen was any indication it got her just right. There was another keen just a moment later when she shifted slightly and the tip of my length hit that spot inside her that science can't quite quantify. She was really close now. Which was good, because I was hanging on to my climax by the skin of my teeth.

"I'm close, baby." I growled through gritted teeth, Murphy's hips still rolling against mine.

"Me too Harry. Together?"

"Together." I agreed, sealing my lips to hers as I thrust one last time and released inside her, her walls fluttering against my spasming length. We growled each other's names, assorted profanities and prayers in a mash of mouths and tongues through the most intense release of my life.

At some point we dropped onto the bed, my deflating erection slipping out of Karrin with a bereaved keen from each of us. I pulled her into my chest, our sweat sticking to our bodies.

"Wow, that was…" Karrin drawled.

"Amazing? Stupendous? Life changing?" I offered.

"Perfect." Karrin answered. "Just perfect."