Pale September, I wore the time like a dress that year.
The autumn days swung soft around me, like cotton on my skin…
I closed my eyes and inhaled the ocean's sunset breeze. Events from the past couple years encircled my thoughts impatiently. I reflected on my sophomore year and the summer and before Padua; the summer of the reinvention of myself. My eyes glazed over as I remembered the boy who sparked my revolution. The boy I lost everything to but gained so much in return. I hated him for such a long time but now I have come to realize that it's to him I owe my newfound self respect.
But as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared.
My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within…
He and I dated throughout freshman year and the summer before tenth grade. Our relationship started out to be promising. Through the whole school year we were inseparable. Nothing kept us apart. Not even dad who hated my lover passionately. I swore I was going to marry him and he liked to entertain the idea. The idea in which he used to get what he really wanted out of our relationship. A month after that night, he shattered my heart into a million sharp pieces.
But then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full.
And sank in the burrows of my keep…
My thoughts were interrupted profoundly as my eyes found a glittering form lifting from the water's waves. I squinted my eyes as the jagged light hit my retina but smiled warmly when I uncovered a smile on his face. His black curls slapped at his face as he turned to look at the next wave heading toward shore. I indulged myself by gazing upon his firm arms and chest.
And all my armor falling down, in a pile at my feet.
And my winter giving way to warm, as I'm singing him to sleep…
I closed my eyes and let the last of the sun's rays sink deep within my pale untouched skin. I didn't touch the memory of my old love for fear I would ruin my new one. Though I will never be the person I once was, the terror of losing who I am now is always hidden from eye's view. Ever since I read The Feminine Mystique the last semester of tenth grade, I have dedicated my soul to activism and different projects regarding. Projects including my metamorphosis into the woman I am today.
He goes along just as a water lily.
Gentle on the surface of his thoughts his body floats…
Watching him play was suddenly inspiring. No other boy could ever leap and bound with such grace and tranquility. I could tell he felt at home here. There was no pollution from reality in this area he claimed to be his. Pride swelled in my chest for I knew that this location was sacred to him and he wouldn't invite just any.
Unweighed down by passion or intensity.
Yet unaware of the depth upon which he coasts…
The sun started to fall off of the horizon as he immerged from the water's grip.
"Kat!" He called to me as he jogged toward my perch. He stood over me and shook his hair.
"Oh! Geez! Knock it off!" I squealed.
"I just thought you could use some cooling off since you didn't step a foot in the water." He replied as he started to spread his towel out beside me.
"Well excuse me for wanting to enjoy the scenery." I jabbed in return. He plopped down dangerously close to me and I felt his gaze travel down my body. Inwardly, I shivered at the sudden attention. I looked down at my chalk white legs and immediately wanted to cover up. My eyes shot upward to meet his and I felt him put his warm calloused hand over mine.
And he finds a home in me.
For what misfortune sows, he knows my touch will reap…
He searched my face and I tried to read his. I prayed to an unknown form that he wouldn't try anything. I wanted to believe the night on the roof top meant something more to him than it probably did. Just like that evening, everything in my mind told me to push him away. But I just stared deep into his eyes. When he was sure I wasn't going to reject his advance he smiled warmly and turned to look at the sky in front of us. I blushed many shades of red and was glad it was darker out than before.
And all my armor falling down, in a pile at my feet.
And my winter giving way to warm, as I'm singing him to sleep...
Luckily he didn't say anything as he fixed his eyes on the pink, purple and orange stretch marks in the sky. I felt his body shift into a lying position beside me. He looked nearly dry at this point and I fought the urge to caress his biceps. I felt stupid then, wanting what every other girl at school strived for. I jumped suddenly, feeling him pull me down next to him. Wanting just a moment more of peace with him, I gave in and settled in the crevice below his collarbone and beside his shoulder. My body relaxed as I felt him stroke my hair softly and abruptly, the past didn't matter. I'm here now. I'm where I always wanted to be.
All my armor falling down, in a pile at my feet.
And my winter giving way to warm, as I'm singing him to sleep...
Song: Pale September
Artist: Fiona Apple
First fiction since the surgery. I decided to get this out of my head really quick.
I plan on finishing "The 10 Things I Hate About Kat Stratford" soon. :)