Story Title: Fun With Freud
Disclaimer: I still don't own YYH or either idea since it came from two episodes of House.
Author's Notes: Like the summary states, this is a pair of drabbles inspired by two of my favorite scenes in House. They were written and posted for kicks and all I hope for is for readers to find some amusement out of either of them. They were fun and quick to write. Coming up with 'story' title for this piece was a pain though. I'm still not entirely sold on it but I had to use something.
Drabble 1: Part of this is inspired by and meant to be a parody of the many Kurama x OC fics out there. I have nothing against OC romance fics but I don't read many these days and the few I do haven't updated in a while… But I have no right to grouse there.
Drabble 2: You know that if given the opportunity, the guys would so do this. The moment may not play out exactly like this, but they wouldn't pass up the opportunity.
As always, thanks for reading.
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Drabble 1: It's Like Looking In A Mirror
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"You really don't see it?" Yusuke said, voice even, mouth open, eyebrow raised as he gawked at the fox in utter disbelief. This had to be a joke. Kurama was not this stupid. Actually, Kurama wasn't stupid at all. If anything, he was the exact opposite of stupid. Picture in the dictionary kind of not-stupid. He had to be just messing with them. Wouldn't have surprised Yusuke. In fact, Kurama was due for his own payback prank on him.
"No, I am afraid I do not see what it is you are referring to," Kurama replied, closing his eyes on the Battle of the 'Sill before them and raising his green tea to his lips in his typical (and infuriating) absolute calm. If this was an act, he was sticking to it.
"You're just shittin' us, right?" Kuwabara said, wearing the same confused, disbelieving expression as Yusuke. "You seriously don't see it?"
Kurama's silence was answer enough.
Fireballs whizzed past their heads. Genkai's temple was only protected by the aged master's own projected spiritual barrier. For the moment, the sound of blade clashing against blade replaced the birds' gentle chirping.
"They're fighting over who gets the windowsill!" Yusuke said, voice raised. He didn't find this act amusing but, from Kurama's stern silence, the fox didn't either.
Briefly, Kurama opened his eyes and glimpsed over at the sparks and blurs flying through the smoldering treetops. "I still do not see that which you are not so subtly trying to imply, Yusuke."
Oh, Kurama saw what he saw. He just wasn't admitting it. Fact was you had to be Yomi not to be able to see the smack-you-over-the-head blatant similarities between the two and even then Yusuke thought Yomi would be able to sense the close likeness of their energies. But Kurama was refusing to admit the obvious. …No matter, Yusuke was ready to drive the point and back the fox in a corner until he had to say it out loud.
"Short, rude, bitterly-sarcastic, fire on the fingertips, ice in her heart, dragon tat wrapped around her bicep," Yusuke said. "…You know, first look, I didn't think you'd go for a girl like her but now I see she makes perfect sense for you."
"What do you mean, Urameshi?" Kuwabara said, of course, not getting it. "She's just like—"
"One of us. She's one of us already," Yusuke said. "Look, she's holding her own against Hiei."
"Of course, she is. She fights just like him," Kuwabara said. "…Looks like him too."
"And wasn't she tragically tossed from her secret all-male fire demon society for being part ice demon? And a girl?" Yusuke said, making a show of trying to recall Kurama's words exactly.
The fox pretended to hear nothing and feigned ignorance of the obvious as a vein, buried beneath his abundant red hair, secretly pulsed on his forehead while Hiei and Kurama's new girlfriend flitted, burned, and sliced the woods around them.
"Face it, Kurama…" Yusuke said after a long moment of silence. "She's not the fire starter you want."
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For organization purposes only, here's a brief space in between.
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Drabble 2: Who Holds the Leash?
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Kido had brought the young man to Genkai's in hopes of helping his classmate take control of his power or, failing that, in hopes of sealing his power completely. Because, aside from the barest flashes of the boy's true self, the boy could not break his territory. And unfortunately for the young man's sense of self, the boy's power was to assume the personality and characteristics of the dominant soul within his territory. The young man hadn't been himself or in control of his own mind and body since his psychic powers awakened.
Of course, this was a very serious ordeal and Genkai was most certainly going to attend to the boy within the next half hour but first, there were questions to be answered and bets to be made. So far, none of the results had really been surprising. No one batted an eye when Shizuru was chosen over Kuwabara and Keiko over Yusuke. The only surprise was Yukina being in control of Kuwabara but the with way Kuwabara catered to her, it made sense.
At this point, there was only one pair Yusuke wanted to see and he had his money on Kurama.
It hadn't been easy to get the two of them to agree, not at first at least. But when both seemed overly-confident they knew exactly what the result would be but without actually outright saying anything more, Hiei's pride and Kurama's vanity demanded they both move from the safety of Genkai's hall and into the room enveloped in the boy's territory.
Kurama and Hiei both sat side-by-side and at equal-distance in front of the young man as his territory activated with a sudden flickering pulse of apple green light and his energy branched off in two directions and wafted and curled around and against them like begging cats made of smoke seeking the minute shifts in their relationship.
"Now which of us will speak first?" Kurama said, smiling slightly in amusement. "Hiei, would you like to have the honor?"
"You would offer it to me after technically being first to speak," Hiei said, turning his head away to the left. "Go ahead. Say whatever. You really want the last word anyway."
"Now why does that matter?" Kurama asked.
"Because you have to have the last word. You have to be right." Hiei looked over and met a waiting Kurama's patient, steady gaze. Neither said anything for several breath-lengths until Hiei begrudgingly added, "…You usually are."
"Somewhere between four hundred and a thousand years, you tend to pick up a few things," Kurama casually replied, drawing a stray hair away from his eyes.
"You're sixteen," Hiei retorted.
"My human body is sixteen. My soul is far older," Kurama said, "but you know this well, Hiei."
"You'd still be a demon if you hadn't gotten shot."
"I would be dead if my soul had not taken refuge in my mother's womb."
Hiei glared at Kurama as he worked his next response. "My power level is higher than his."
"My strategies will overcome his power."
"My fire will burn his plants."
"Green shoots are slow to burn. My plants have more than enough time to counterattack but even if they do not, I will."
"I'm faster than him."
"I can withstand attacks better than him."
"You allow enemies to hurt you. I don't. I wipe out everything before it ever gets to strike me."
"My sustained injuries are tactical in nature and are never grave. They are meant to give my enemy a false sense of security. When I strike, it is with absolute precision."
"Your approach is too time-consuming and costly."
"I can walk away from the battlefield after my finishing attack."
Hiei smirked. "There is no battlefield after my finishing attack."
Back and forth, they went, with the young man's eyes following them like a tennis match. Which was not a far off description of what was going on. They were having a tennis match but with words and for every serve, the other was ready with a return swing.
In time and without any apparent sign of decision from the boy, Kurama and Hiei were left with the most trivial of counterpoints.
"He lives in my apartment," Kurama said, growing exasperated. "I purchase all the groceries he eats."
"I can steal whatever I want and I don't need to live with him," Hiei said, equally tired and frustrated. "He's convenient."
"He hates the human world and would much rather be in Makai. He stays because of me."
"You won't leave the human world."
"And you won't leave me," Kurama said, his smile gentle and warm, as he gazed with equal fondness in his eyes back at Hiei.
Arms crossed over his chest, Hiei looked away, shrugged his shoulders, and grumbled something inaudible.
"I don't have to sit and listen to this," the boy suddenly said. "You're supposed to be the smart one. Don't deign yourself and turn into the idiot behind you by getting all mushy now. Makes me sick having to listen to this. Feelings are for the weak and stupid and I thought you were neither." The boy snorted, crossed his arms over his chest, and turned his head away. "…But maybe I'm wrong."
"Wow, he's mirroring Hiei…" Kuwabara said, absolutely stunned he had won.
"Yea, who would've thought…" Yusuke grumbled as he slapped the crumbled yen notes into Kuwabara's hand.
"He had to choose one of us," Hiei said, smirking triumphantly and not at all surprised by the boy's decision.
"Yes, that is absolutely true," Kurama said coolly and not nearly as entertained by the result as Hiei.
With a determined look in his eyes and smirking for reasons only he knew, Kurama rose onto his knees and made the short crawl over toward the boy. Still mimicking Hiei, the boy stared warily at Kurama's sudden closeness and leaned away from him as Kurama continued to smile with much too much slyness for anyone's good, much less for the security of Hiei's victory.
"Oh, yes," Kurama said, as his plan unfolded and he readied his final strike with absolutely precision. "And to reward your triumph today, tonight I will be sure to—" Raising his hand over and blocking his lips from view, Kurama whispered something into the boy's ear. Something that made the boy's cheeks turn red and change his expression.
Kurama did not lose his now devious smile as he returned to his seat beside Hiei, who was also turning red but perhaps not for the same reasons. Or that and more.
"What the hell did you say to him?" Hiei demanded to know.
"Oh, you know me well, Hiei," Kurama said. "I was just getting the final word."
"Because I always get final word," the boy said in the same amused tone and brushed back his nonexistent flowing locks behind his shoulder, confirming Kurama's victory.