Lesson Learned the Hard Way
Chapter 1
It made no sense. It was a brief. He's written a hundred briefs before. He'd written briefs for cases before the US Circuit Court of Appeals before.
Yet when he wrote this one, it was as if someone else had taken charge of his hand and put down words that never came out of his mind.
When he read it after he wrote it, it was as if he were seeing the words for the first time, and they made no sense.
He shut his eyes against the words, but they kept appearing in his head. He read them over and over and wondered where they came from.
It wasn't that they were bad words, or the wrong words. They were good. They were poetic. They were beautiful. They just didn't make any sense.
But where did they come from and why did they bother him so much? How could they make both no sense and beautiful sense at the same time?
XXXXX
"Jarrod? Jarrod, talk to me. Jarrod, look at me. Look at me, Jarrod."
His eyes came away from the words and looked at the man whose face was close in front of his. The face came into focus.
Jarrod shook his head. "Nick. Where did you come from?"
"I've been here for five minutes trying to get your attention," Nick said. "You've been scaring the hell out of me. I sent Heath for the doctor."
"Scaring you? Why?"
"Because you've been staring at this damned paper in front of you and I couldn't get you to stop. What's the matter with you? I thought you were having a stroke or something."
Jarrod shook his head again. "No, no, it's just – this brief."
"What about it? What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing. It's fine. It's beautiful, actually. It's just – I don't think I wrote it."
"What do you mean? It looks like your handwriting."
"I know, but something about this brief. I remember putting the words down on the paper but I don't remember them coming out of me."
"You're making no sense, Jarrod."
"I know. It doesn't make any sense. I can't explain it, except the words didn't come out of me even if I put them on the paper."
Heath came back in. Jarrod saw Nick move away and Dr. Merar appear. "What's happening, Jarrod? How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," Jarrod said. But his eyes went back to his brief and glazed over.
"Do you have any pain?"
"No, I'm fine. I just don't know where the words came from."
Dr. Merar looked at Nick and then back at Jarrod. "Look at me, Jarrod."
Jarrod looked at him. "Why are you here?"
"Heath came and got me. Your brothers are concerned about you because they couldn't get your attention for several minutes."
"I'm fine," Jarrod repeated. "I'm just having trouble with this brief. I don't know where the words came from."
"You don't remember writing it?"
Jarrod still talked as if in a daze. "No, I remember writing it. It's just that the words didn't seem to come from me."
Dr. Merar looked at Nick and Heath again. They looked frightened. He looked back at Jarrod, who was looking at the brief again, still looking dazed. Dr. Merar reached for his arms. "Jarrod, let me take you over to my office and have a good look at you."
Abruptly, Jarrod tore his arms out of the doctor's hands, stood up and pounded his desk. "There's nothing wrong with me! I've just got my head tied up in this brief and – it's like I'm not writing it! It's writing me!"
"Jarrod, you're making no sense," Nick said.
"Of course I'm not making any sense! This brief isn't making any sense! Let me alone and let me try to make sense out of it!"
Heath reached for Jarrod, but Jarrod grabbed onto his right arm, hard. Heath grabbed onto Jarrod's right arm, and they stood there, trying to wrench out of each other's grasp.
"Will you leave me alone?!" Jarrod blurted out.
The doctor turned away and talked to Nick. Nick moved to Jarrod's left and tried to pull Jarrod's hand off Heath's right arm.
Jarrod tried to jerk away. "What?! What are you doing?!"
The doctor jabbed Jarrod's left arm with a needle, right through his shirt.
"Hey! What are you doing?! There's nothing wrong with me!" He started to sink down into his chair again.
His brothers kept hold of him until they felt him relax. Jarrod heard them talking from very far away.
Nick – "I don't know what the hell's going on with him."
Dr. Merar – "He's relaxed, but he shouldn't go to sleep for a while yet. You'll still have to help him to my office."
Nick and Heath began to lift him.
"Let me alone! Let me work on this brief!" Jarrod said, except his words were garbled and that wasn't what his brothers or the doctor heard.
His brothers lifted him, put their arms under his and grabbed the back of his belt. He struggled along as they pulled him out from behind the desk and out the door.
He tried to tell them he was all right, but the words wouldn't come out. He saw the steps leading down to the street, he saw the street, he saw the people staring at him. It all looked like it was under water. He tried to talk, but only garbled words came out. People started to look at him like he was drunk.
His brothers took him into the doctor's office. He knew it. He recognized the room. They took him into the examination room and sat him down in a chair.
He felt very relaxed. He couldn't sit up in the chair. They laid him on the table instead.
His brothers left. The doctor kept talking to him and asking him questions and moving a lit match in front of his eyes.
"Do you know where you are, Jarrod?"
"Your office," he said, but the words were slurred.
"That's right," Dr. Merar said. "Tell me about the brief you were writing. Tell me about how the words didn't seem to come out of you."
"That's all. They didn't come out of me. I wrote them, but they were just there."
"What's the brief about, Jarrod?"
"it's – uh – "
That was where he was blocked. He couldn't remember what the brief was about.
It was too hard to try to remember. He was tired. He went to sleep.