A/N: I am ental! Ahh.... I just started reading the Protectors of the Small series, and I came up with this awesome idea...... Just had to get it down before someone else thought of it. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. Oh well. Let's see just how high I am, shall we?
A dark stage. On one side of a large, flowery screen sit three young gentlemen. On the other, sit a teenaged girl. The lights come on, graphics appear on your television screen. It's....
THE DATING GAME!
That's right Ladies, and Genltmen, the Dating Game. I, your host, Skippy McPeanutbutter, would luuuuv to intorduce you to today's lovely lady. Please welcome..... Keladry of Mindelan!!!!
(the audience claps wildly)
Now, Kel will have three fine young men to choose from today. Will it be...
Bachelor Number One! The messy haired, older scholar who enjoys reading and ironic remarks.
Or, Bachelor Number Two! The large, red haired scamp who's turn ons are Lady Knights and freckles.
But maybe, Bachelor Number Three! The icy boy who has an odd affliction for younger women.
Ok! Now that you've met the canidates, it's time to play...
THE DATING GAME!!!
Now then, Kel, please ask your first question.
Kel: Um, Bachelor Number One.... Tell me, in your sexiest voice, where you would most like to take me for out first date.
B1: (fakes a cheesy french accent) Well, My Dahleeng, first I would tek yoo on a moonlit walk aloong a desserted beach. Then, we wuld retire to my rooms at the palace for a little wine....perhaps more.
Kel: Ok then.... Bachelor Number Three, same question.
B3: (Doesn't even try to disguise his voice.) Unlike the unimaginative Bachelor Number One, I would take you on a night-time ride, deep into the forest, to my special place, where we would spend the evening talking, and maybe even fall asleep together under the stars.
Kel: Aw, that's sweet. (makes gagging noises) Bachelor Number Two. If you could be any article of clothing on my body right now, what would it be and why?
B2: Mithros-I mean...Your hose, because I like to keep my lady's legs warm in the winter time. (makes a cat purring noise)
Kel: Wow. (blinks) Bachelor Number Three, how would you respond to that?
B3: I would be your breastband beca-
Kel: That's enough of that. Bachelor Number One... Name three items you would take with you if you were stranded on a deserted island.
B1: Lessee.... you, some sexy music, and a blanket....because I hate getting sand in ahem, uncomfortable places.
Kel: Whoa, too much information there. Bachelor Number Two, if you could kill either of the other two contestants right now, which one would it be and why?
B2: For you, my precius flower, I would kill entire armies.
Kel: (sighs) Could you just choose one.
B2: Oh, all right....I guess Number Three over here...he's lookin' at me cross-eyed.
Kel: Bachelor Number Three, whatta bout you?
B3: Number One, because once he called me gay...the little bastard! (begins to get up so he can kill him right then, but a couple of stagehands stop him)
Skip: Ok, Kel, last Question. Make it a good one.
Kel: Ok, a short one, for all three contestants. If you could be anything in the world, what would it be?
B1: A Knight.
B2: Your Number One Honey, Babydoll.
B3: A Supermodel.
(the other two contestants stare at Bachelor Number Three)
B3: What?
Skip: Ok, that was...really wierd. Now's the time of the show Kel, when you get to pick who you will go on your Fabulous Weekend Getaway with! Will it be, Bachelor Number One, Bachelor Number Two, or Bachelor Number Three?
Kel: I pick..... Bachelor Number Two!!!!
(Bachelor Number Two pumps his fist in the air and the other two slump down in their ultra cheesey directors chairs.)
B2: Yes, yes I won!!!! Whoo HOO!!!!
Skip: Ok then, let's meet the other two Bachelors you didn't pick. Bachelor Number One is...Neal, that's right Neal, probably your best friend for eight years. Come on out Neal!
(Neal comes out, looking tragic and depressed. In a last act of defiance he sweeps Kel up in a viscious hug and refuses to let go until he is dragged off by two large stagehands.)
Skip: You also didn't pick Bachelor Number Three. He was your enemy for three years...it's the guy everyone luvs to hate. Joren, get out here!
(Joren walks out, dignified to the end, and passes by Kel as if she was not even there.)
Skip: And now, the moment we've all been waiting for, let's meet the mysterioud Bachelor Number Two. He's big, He's tall, and He Loves you to death, yes it's Cleon!
(Cleon runs out and throws himself at Kel, who tries not to be suffocated by the large man. But, she does look pretty happy with her choice.)
Skip: Finally, let's see where you two will be going for your Fabulous Weekend Getaway!
(A screen drops down, covered with a red velvet cloth. Skip yanks it off to reveal....)
Skip: An island vacation to Yamani!!!!
(The audience claps and Cleon and Kel jump about and squeal)
Skip: That's just about it for this episode of the Dating Game. Next week out contestant will be... Numair Samalin! Tune in to see if he chooses, Bachelorette Number One, Bachelorette Number Two, or Bachelorette Number Three! Goodnight Folks!
(The lights dim as Kel and Cleon walk off, hand in hand. Skip, on the other hand, walks off the stage with Joren, also hand in hand. Oh well.)
A/N: Ok, this was inspired by the various Kel and Joren, Kel and Neal, Kel and Cleon stuff I've been reading lately...oh and I do plan on writing other episodes...watch out for the Numair one...coming to a computer screen near you ^.~
A dark stage. On one side of a large, flowery screen sit three young gentlemen. On the other, sit a teenaged girl. The lights come on, graphics appear on your television screen. It's....
THE DATING GAME!
That's right Ladies, and Genltmen, the Dating Game. I, your host, Skippy McPeanutbutter, would luuuuv to intorduce you to today's lovely lady. Please welcome..... Keladry of Mindelan!!!!
(the audience claps wildly)
Now, Kel will have three fine young men to choose from today. Will it be...
Bachelor Number One! The messy haired, older scholar who enjoys reading and ironic remarks.
Or, Bachelor Number Two! The large, red haired scamp who's turn ons are Lady Knights and freckles.
But maybe, Bachelor Number Three! The icy boy who has an odd affliction for younger women.
Ok! Now that you've met the canidates, it's time to play...
THE DATING GAME!!!
Now then, Kel, please ask your first question.
Kel: Um, Bachelor Number One.... Tell me, in your sexiest voice, where you would most like to take me for out first date.
B1: (fakes a cheesy french accent) Well, My Dahleeng, first I would tek yoo on a moonlit walk aloong a desserted beach. Then, we wuld retire to my rooms at the palace for a little wine....perhaps more.
Kel: Ok then.... Bachelor Number Three, same question.
B3: (Doesn't even try to disguise his voice.) Unlike the unimaginative Bachelor Number One, I would take you on a night-time ride, deep into the forest, to my special place, where we would spend the evening talking, and maybe even fall asleep together under the stars.
Kel: Aw, that's sweet. (makes gagging noises) Bachelor Number Two. If you could be any article of clothing on my body right now, what would it be and why?
B2: Mithros-I mean...Your hose, because I like to keep my lady's legs warm in the winter time. (makes a cat purring noise)
Kel: Wow. (blinks) Bachelor Number Three, how would you respond to that?
B3: I would be your breastband beca-
Kel: That's enough of that. Bachelor Number One... Name three items you would take with you if you were stranded on a deserted island.
B1: Lessee.... you, some sexy music, and a blanket....because I hate getting sand in ahem, uncomfortable places.
Kel: Whoa, too much information there. Bachelor Number Two, if you could kill either of the other two contestants right now, which one would it be and why?
B2: For you, my precius flower, I would kill entire armies.
Kel: (sighs) Could you just choose one.
B2: Oh, all right....I guess Number Three over here...he's lookin' at me cross-eyed.
Kel: Bachelor Number Three, whatta bout you?
B3: Number One, because once he called me gay...the little bastard! (begins to get up so he can kill him right then, but a couple of stagehands stop him)
Skip: Ok, Kel, last Question. Make it a good one.
Kel: Ok, a short one, for all three contestants. If you could be anything in the world, what would it be?
B1: A Knight.
B2: Your Number One Honey, Babydoll.
B3: A Supermodel.
(the other two contestants stare at Bachelor Number Three)
B3: What?
Skip: Ok, that was...really wierd. Now's the time of the show Kel, when you get to pick who you will go on your Fabulous Weekend Getaway with! Will it be, Bachelor Number One, Bachelor Number Two, or Bachelor Number Three?
Kel: I pick..... Bachelor Number Two!!!!
(Bachelor Number Two pumps his fist in the air and the other two slump down in their ultra cheesey directors chairs.)
B2: Yes, yes I won!!!! Whoo HOO!!!!
Skip: Ok then, let's meet the other two Bachelors you didn't pick. Bachelor Number One is...Neal, that's right Neal, probably your best friend for eight years. Come on out Neal!
(Neal comes out, looking tragic and depressed. In a last act of defiance he sweeps Kel up in a viscious hug and refuses to let go until he is dragged off by two large stagehands.)
Skip: You also didn't pick Bachelor Number Three. He was your enemy for three years...it's the guy everyone luvs to hate. Joren, get out here!
(Joren walks out, dignified to the end, and passes by Kel as if she was not even there.)
Skip: And now, the moment we've all been waiting for, let's meet the mysterioud Bachelor Number Two. He's big, He's tall, and He Loves you to death, yes it's Cleon!
(Cleon runs out and throws himself at Kel, who tries not to be suffocated by the large man. But, she does look pretty happy with her choice.)
Skip: Finally, let's see where you two will be going for your Fabulous Weekend Getaway!
(A screen drops down, covered with a red velvet cloth. Skip yanks it off to reveal....)
Skip: An island vacation to Yamani!!!!
(The audience claps and Cleon and Kel jump about and squeal)
Skip: That's just about it for this episode of the Dating Game. Next week out contestant will be... Numair Samalin! Tune in to see if he chooses, Bachelorette Number One, Bachelorette Number Two, or Bachelorette Number Three! Goodnight Folks!
(The lights dim as Kel and Cleon walk off, hand in hand. Skip, on the other hand, walks off the stage with Joren, also hand in hand. Oh well.)
A/N: Ok, this was inspired by the various Kel and Joren, Kel and Neal, Kel and Cleon stuff I've been reading lately...oh and I do plan on writing other episodes...watch out for the Numair one...coming to a computer screen near you ^.~