Disclaimer: Characters contained within do not belong to me.
Author's Notes: I was re-reading New Moon when something Rosalie said kind of struck me. This story takes place after Bella called for a vote on her humanity at the end of the book. Enjoy!
All the Things You Are
by Kristen Elizabeth
Love is a choice you make from moment to moment. – Barbara de Angelis
"Do you think the tassels on this bag are too much?"
When her question went unanswered, Rosalie glanced up from her perusal of Gucci dot com only to find her husband leaning against the doorway to their bedroom, watching her with his huge arms folded over his broad chest.
"Tassels?" she tried again. "Too much?"
Finally, he spoke. "I really couldn't care less."
She blinked, but quickly recovered with a haughty toss of her hair. "Fine. See if I ask for your opinion on anything ever again."
Emmett heaved a great sigh. "I think you hurt someone's feelings tonight, babe."
Rosalie frowned. "Just how exactly did I do that? Did you really think I was going to vote in favor of Bella being turned?"
"I'm not talking about Bella."
"Well, you're sure as hell not talking about Edward." She returned to scrolling through the pictures of Gucci handbags. "I was the only one on his side."
Emmett walked towards the bed she was seated on. "Remind me again why you voted no?"
Rosalie gave him a look. "Besides the obvious, you mean?" The look he threw back at her made her continue, "I stand by my vote. No one should have to live like us if they have other options."
"Maybe if you'd put it like that earlier, it'd be okay." Emmett plopped down on the mattress, making it groan under the sheer mass of his body. "But you didn't say that. You said…and I'm quoting here…this isn't the life you would have chosen."
Her golden eyes narrowed. "Failing to see the difference between the two."
"Oh, there's a really big difference," her husband assured her. "Only one of them doesn't make Carlisle look like a selfish bastard."
A moment passed. "What are you talking about?" Her question was heavy with worry and the look on her perfect face had gone from argumentative to anxious.
"Look, Carlisle wouldn't ever let on or anything, but…" Emmett shrugged his shoulders. "Hearing you say something like that sure couldn't have made him feel good."
Rosalie dragged her lower lip between her teeth. "If I'd upset him, Edward would know. He'd be up here ripping into me right now."
"Edward's got one thought going through his head and you're not it, babe," Emmett told her, unable to hide a small smirk. "But even if he wasn't wrapped up in Bella, Carlisle wouldn't let him say anything. You know that's not his style."
"Why are you telling me this?" Rosalie snapped. "It's not like I can take it back."
Emmett agreed, "No, you can't. But you can make it better." He gave her a few seconds before he added, "You could apol…"
"I know, Emmett!" She looked away, clearly upset, but unwilling to let him see it. "I know," she repeated a second later, softer this time. Remorse…an emotional state not usually associated with his wife.
He watched her set the laptop aside and rise to her feet. Without a word, she left the room. When she was gone, Emmett picked up the laptop and examined the page.
The tassels were definitely too much.
The door to Carlisle and Esme's bedroom was shut for the night; Rosalie stood in front of it for a good five minutes before hesitantly knocking.
Esme answered like she already knew who it was. "Rosalie," she said with a soft smile. "It's late."
Rosalie looked down at her perfectly manicured hands. "I know. I just…" Glancing back up, she met the knowing stare of the woman who had been more of a mother to her in death than her real mother ever had been in life. "Can I…"
Just then, Carlisle appeared behind his wife. "Come in, Rosalie," he granted her unspoken request.
The master bedroom was by far the largest room in the house with a vaulted ceiling and two walls made entirely of floor to ceiling windows. Although the entire house spoke of Esme's excellent taste, this room she had designed to be a perfect combination of her and Carlisle. A sturdy, darkly stained canopy bed frame was elegantly draped with delicate lace curtains. On the dresser, there was a set of books that looked old enough to fall apart at any second, propped up against a Waterford crystal vase full of fresh white lilies.
Rosalie had only been in this room once or twice in the three years since they'd moved to Forks, and suddenly found herself uncomfortable enough to wrap her arms around her stomach awkwardly. "Carlisle…" she started. Again, she was unable to finish her thought.
Noticing her stance, Carlisle and Esme exchanged a long look. "I'll leave you two alone," Esme murmured. Stopping long enough to gently touch her adopted daughter's arm, she left the room and silently closed the door behind her.
"Do you want to sit down?" Carlisle asked, indicating an antique rocking chair.
Rosalie shook her head. "I just need to…" Her beautiful face twisted into a deep scowl when, once again, she couldn't go on. "Why is this so hard?"
As was his way, Carlisle patiently waited for her to continue.
Eventually, his patience paid off. "It's no secret that out of all of us…" Rosalie drew in an unnecessary breath, a lingering habit. "…I miss my humanity the most." Carlisle inclined his head, but she rushed on before he could speak. "I think Edward and I might have agreed for the first time in seventy-something years tonight." After a slight chuckle, she paused. "Bella should stay human for as long as possible."
"I can't argue with that," he finally said, his voice a tad hoarse.
"And yet she's choosing not to." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Stupid, but…it's her choice."
"The choice I never gave you." Inhuman silence cloaked the room for a long minute. "You're the one I wonder about the most, Rosalie," Carlisle said sadly. "Did I do the right thing with you? And did I do it for the right reasons?"
She loosened her arms around her stomach. "Why did you do it?"
Carlisle walked to the windows. "The first time I saw you we were at one of those cotillion balls Esme used to love. Still loves, actually," he added with a faint smile. "You were with your family, naturally, and we were trying to keep up social appearances. The doctor, his wife and her younger brother."
"You were all beautiful," Rosalie said, slipping into the memory. "And I was angry that Edward didn't even ask to put his name on my dance card because I was clearly the only girl there who was his equal."
Looking out at the dark woods, Carlisle went on, "I remember wondering what kind of life you were going to have, given that your face assured you almost anything you might have wanted. Beauty is as much of a curse as it is a blessing, especially when it begins to fade. I hoped that you'd find an inner happiness that didn't depend on your looks."
Rosalie let her hands fall to her sides. "I suppose I've been a real disappointment, then."
Carlisle turned back to her. "You have been many things, Rosalie, but you have never been a disappointment." He slipped his hands into his pockets. "When I found you…I knew you didn't have long to live." His expression grew uncharacteristically dark. "I don't know how clear your memories are…"
"They're clear enough," she whispered. "I was bleeding…inside."
He nodded curtly, as if trying to shake away the memory of her broken, violated body. "There was nothing I could have done to save your life. I had minutes to decide." He sighed. "And I may never know if I made the right choice. But…" Carlisle took a step towards her. "I wanted to give you a chance to be something more than a beautiful face. I felt like you deserved that."
"So." Rosalie attempted a weak laugh. "You didn't just change me so I could warm Edward's bed?" Off his look, she apologized. "I've never really thought that. I promise."
Carlisle stopped a few feet away from her. "I can't say I'd choose differently because having you in this family, having you for a daughter has been a joy for both Esme and myself, but if I was wrong, if I did you the worst of disservices, I am sorry."
She looked away for a long time and when she finally glanced back, she'd bitten her lower lip hard enough to leave a mark with her teeth. "I came here to apologize to you, not the other way around." Her blonde curls swayed against her shoulders as she shook her head. "There are things I wish I could have done, human things, but if you hadn't found me…" Rosalie swallowed thickly. "I would have died on that street never knowing anything more about myself than that I was beautiful."
A few seconds passed. "I told Bella that this isn't the life I would have chosen," Rosalie continued. "That's not the whole truth. Without this...second life I never would have experienced so many of the things I love. Working on my car, playing baseball, shopping online." She touched her lips. "Emmett. You made a choice for me that allowed me to choose so much more." Rosalie lifted her shoulders. "How could I possibly hold that against you?"
Carlisle reached for his daughter's hand which she let him take without hesitation. He lightly squeezed her fingers, a simple gesture of affection that her biological father had never offered her.
Esme's soft knock broke the moment. When her husband opened the door for her, a broad smile lit up his impossibly handsome face.
"I take it everything's all right now?" she asked, her golden eyes twinkling.
"Everything's fine," Carlisle assured her. He put his arm around his wife's shoulders. "We're all home again."
"I was just going," Rosalie said. At the door, she looked back at the older couple. "I know I don't always show it, but I am very proud to be part of this family." She gave them a small smile. "Goodnight."
It was her turn to watch Emmett from the entrance to their room. Her husband had the laptop precariously perched on his chest as he lay flat on his back on the bed, with his head propped up only enough to be able to see the screen.
Warmth spread through her body at the sight of him, her wonderful, strong, loveable monkey man who was far wiser than he let on.
"Babe," he called to her, having noticed her out of the corner of his eye. "You don't need tassels. I ordered you a couple without 'em, but I'm not telling you which ones. It's just going to have to be a…" He was cut off when, in a burst of supernatural speed, his wife crossed to the bed, shoved the laptop aside and straddled his waist. "..surprise," Emmett finished. Pleasantly surprised himself, he looked her up and down with an appreciative grin. "Hello, there."
Rosalie tucked her hair behind her ears before dropping her hands to the two buttons at the collar of his cotton shirt. "If you had to name one thing that you loved about me, what would it be?"
Emmett folded his hands behind his head as she worked the buttons free. "You expect me to pick just one thing?"
"Mmm-hmm. First thing that comes to your mind." She leaned down and planted a soft kiss on the patch of skin she exposed at the base of his neck. "And I'll do the same."
It took him a minute of silent internal debate before he replied, "Your face."
Rosalie straightened up, her back stiff, her expression cold. "So...the one thing you love about me is that I'm beautiful?"
"Didn't say that," Emmett said, propping himself up on his elbows to see her better. "I said I love your face."
"Not seeing the difference," she said between her teeth.
Emmett sat all the way up, holding Rosalie in place on his lap when she tried to climb off. "Stop," he said gently, but firmly grasping her arms. "Listen to me. I love your face because it's the last human memory I have." He smoothed a wayward curl back into place. "I remember that everything hurt...and then I looked up and saw an angel telling me...no, ordering me not to die. You saved my life." He smiled, flashing his dimples. "You could be uglier than the wrong end of a horse, Rose, and I'd still be in love with your face."
Her frown melted. "You've never once held it against me that I asked Carlisle to change you?" Her voice was tiny, seeking reassurance. "Not ever?"
He shook his head. "Never ever." Emmett gave her a slow, deep kiss. "It's the choice I would've made."
"I really wish I could say the same." Rosalie glanced away. "I wouldn't have been smart enough to make this choice. At least not for the right reasons."
"Hey." Capturing her chin, he turned her face until their eyes met. "That's my wife you're talking about." When she offered him a tiny smile, he added, "Besides...just what are the right reasons anyway?"
Rosalie sniffed. "You know, you could have gotten this philosophical when you were casting your vote in Bella's little poll."
"Say what you want about her, but as far as I'm concerned, that girl's got the best reason of all."
She crinkled her nose. "Love? You are such a fool." The amount of affection in her words softened them to the point where Emmett just grinned and nodded. "And I must be a bigger one," Rosalie concluded. "Because I am still completely in love with you."
"You better be." Emmett indicated the laptop. "I just blew three thousand dollars at Gucci."
All it took was a light push and she had him down on his back once again. Only this time, when she kissed down to the center of his chest, she kept going.
The first signs of dawn were just beginning to illuminate the dark forest outside their bedroom windows by the time either of them had another coherent thought. Lying on her side with her back against Emmett's chest and his bare arms wrapped around her much smaller, but equally bare body, Rosalie had absolutely no desire to ever move again.
"Babe," Emmett murmured in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "What's the one thing about me that you love?"
Rosalie threaded her fingers through his thick digits and brought them up to her lip to brush a kiss over his knuckles. "That you know me…really know me…and you still love me."
"Well, you are pretty hot."
For that, he got the full force of a pillow directly to his face.
Fin
