Disclaimer: I own nothing
Fem!FrUK, mentioned Fem!AmeriCana
Light 50 Shades bashing
"Ma cher!"
England instantly grit her teeth when the French accent reached her ears and she barely glanced up from the book she was occupied with to roll her blazing green eyes, "Can you not see that I am busy, Frog?" She snapped, snorting when France gracefully sat on the chair across from her.
"Oui, Oui ~ I just can't help but to notice you are reading, ma lapin," France tittered with a sly smirk, "But what you are reading certainly grabs my full attention."
"What about it?" England bristled defensively like an angered cat, "I merely wanted to know what all the fuss about this book is. I have to read it so I can criticize it properly, that's all!"
"Or you could simply be attempting to hide your interest in that subject," France drawled and couldn't help to feel smug when the light flush appeared on England's cheeks. It could be from anger or embarrassment, but either way, France was completely drawn to it, "You should not be ashamed to admit such things, ma cher!"
"I have no such interest in which you are implying!" England huffed, adverting her eyes from France's intent stare and went back to find the last sentence she was on before France had so 'kindly' interrupted, "I simply wanted to know why women find this book appealing."
"Hon~hon~hon, to spice things up in the bedroom, no doubt!" France let out an amused laugh, "You should be aware that humans become disinterested with their sex lives even more often then we do!"
"To rely on a piece of fiction is utterly preposterous!" England snorted, "And such a badly written piece of fiction at that!"
"Hmm~ I must agree with you," France sighed, as if it pained her to even say so, "It reads much like those, how do you call it... fan stories that L'Amerique so often reads on the Internet?"
"To think that America could withstand such a topic!" England shook her head with disappointment, "This Anastasia character puts women to shame."
"Perhaps," France flicked a blonde piece of her hair over her shoulder in an unnecessarily dramatic fashion, "But the premise surely has you interested if you were that curious to even open the book, non?" She stared at her frienemy with half-lidded eyes.
"O-of course not, you Frog!" England spluttered, cheeks growing darker in colour, "I can hardly wait to get this book done! I cannot hate something that I know nothing of, that's it!"
France's finely plucked brow rose, "You should not lie to yourself, L'Angleterre," She licked her soft lips in a seductive manner that had England swallowing heavily, "Deep down, I am very aware that you are perverse for such things!"
"Huh? Iggy interested in smut?!"
The obnoxiously loud voice had both England and France rolling their eyes and, not surprisingly, America popped up at their table and made herself comfortable without an invitation, "I knew it was only a matter of time before you picked up that book, Iggy," America smirked, eyeing the cover with gloating eyes, "With how pervy you secretly are."
"I am not perverted in any way!" England snapped as America snickered, "I was merely curious and regret for being so."
"Yeah, yeah ~ whatever helps you sleep at night," America winked and England bristled at the gesture, "You're just waiting until you can catch Frenchie here alone to tie her up and act out those steamy scenes yourself!"
If looks could kill, America would be dead a billion times over in the most excruciating way possible from England's heated glare and France could only fuss in an obviously excited manner as she stared fervently at the Brit.
"Nothing to be so embarrassed about," America patted England's shoulder in a mockingly assuring way, "I mean, I so totally shoved Maddie down, tied her up, and fucked her until she was practically begging me to let her come after reading the book!"
England looked mortified and France looked as if she wanted to hear more, "You carried out such lewd acts with your sister?!"
"Hell yeah I did! Maddie is secretly kinky all thanks to inheriting both your dysfunctional sexual ways." America waved it off that Canada was into BDSM like it was nothing.
France let out a disturbing giggle as she imagined Canada in restraints while the other two looked at her warily, not wanting to know what she was currently fantasizing about.
"That is–!" England let out a noise when France suddenly grabbed her from behind, her hands squeezing England's small breasts as if she had every right, "What the bloody hell do you think you are doing!?"
"Come, ma lapin, we must not allow our precious babies to out perform us!" France dragged a protesting England from the table and headed for 'their' closet while America loudly guffawed at the scene.
She glanced down at the book England left behind and patted the cover.
"It might be a crappy story overall, but 50 Shades of Grey can definitely bring out one's naughty side!"