THE MATRIX : A PARODY SCRIPT
A COMPUTER SCREEN. STUFF appears. Many NUMBERS scroll. A PHONE CONVERSATION is heard.
CYPHER: You weren't supposed to relieve me.
TRINITY: I know, but I felt like getting my pretty face into the movie as soon as possible.
CYPHER: Whatever. You like obsessively stalking him, don't you? He's gonna die.
TRINITY: Obviously you haven't read the script. Now shut up, I have to go and kick ass.
OUTSIDE in the STREET:
AGENT SMITH: Aren't I cool? Observe my bad-ass DARK GLASSES!
LEIUTENANT: .Which you wear at night. When it is dark.
AGENT SMITH: Do not MOCK the UBER-SHADES, insolent mortal! By the way, your men are dead.
LEIUTENANT: I think we can handle one little girl.
INSIDE: ONE LITTLE GIRL kicks some ASS.
TRINNITY: I'm really only in this movie for sex appeal. I kick lots of ass in tight leather.
MALE AUDIENCE: *drool*
TRINITY uses the PHONE.
MORPHEUS: Get out of there! The agents are coming for you. *spooky music*
TRINITY: Works for me - I get to run around in my tight black leather.
She DOES SO. An impressive CHASE SCENE (an essential in any successful action movie) ensues. TRINITY jumps IMPOSSIBLE DISTANCES, sails through a window and crashes down some stairs.
TRINITY: Yeah.Ouch v_V
She runs towards a PHONE, raced by a LARGE TRUCK.
TRINITY: Must..get..to.phone! I must have my four cheese pepperoni!
She picks up the PHONE and VANISHES.
AUDIENCE:...the hell? What's with the phones?
NEO'S APARTMENT. It is a typical COMPUTER GEEK paradise. NEO, a typical COMPUTER GEEK, is asleep in front of his computer.
FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: *sigh*
COMPUTER: Wakie wakie.
NEO: Eh?
COMPUTER: The Matrix has you. Follow the white rabbit.
NEO: o_O.
COMPUTER: Knock, knock.
NEO: Ooh, who's there?
Who is there, it turns out, is the LEATHER BIKER CREW - a typical unshaven BIKER with his leather-clad SLUT. Unspecified ILLEGAL ACTIVITY occurs, involving a computer disk.
GUY: You okay? You look more pasty and blank than usual. Let's hit the dance floor.
NEO:..Of course, because I'm clearly SUCH a party animal -_-
A COMPUTER SCREEN. STUFF appears. Many NUMBERS scroll. A PHONE CONVERSATION is heard.
CYPHER: You weren't supposed to relieve me.
TRINITY: I know, but I felt like getting my pretty face into the movie as soon as possible.
CYPHER: Whatever. You like obsessively stalking him, don't you? He's gonna die.
TRINITY: Obviously you haven't read the script. Now shut up, I have to go and kick ass.
OUTSIDE in the STREET:
AGENT SMITH: Aren't I cool? Observe my bad-ass DARK GLASSES!
LEIUTENANT: .Which you wear at night. When it is dark.
AGENT SMITH: Do not MOCK the UBER-SHADES, insolent mortal! By the way, your men are dead.
LEIUTENANT: I think we can handle one little girl.
INSIDE: ONE LITTLE GIRL kicks some ASS.
TRINNITY: I'm really only in this movie for sex appeal. I kick lots of ass in tight leather.
MALE AUDIENCE: *drool*
TRINITY uses the PHONE.
MORPHEUS: Get out of there! The agents are coming for you. *spooky music*
TRINITY: Works for me - I get to run around in my tight black leather.
She DOES SO. An impressive CHASE SCENE (an essential in any successful action movie) ensues. TRINITY jumps IMPOSSIBLE DISTANCES, sails through a window and crashes down some stairs.
TRINITY: Yeah.Ouch v_V
She runs towards a PHONE, raced by a LARGE TRUCK.
TRINITY: Must..get..to.phone! I must have my four cheese pepperoni!
She picks up the PHONE and VANISHES.
AUDIENCE:...the hell? What's with the phones?
NEO'S APARTMENT. It is a typical COMPUTER GEEK paradise. NEO, a typical COMPUTER GEEK, is asleep in front of his computer.
FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: *sigh*
COMPUTER: Wakie wakie.
NEO: Eh?
COMPUTER: The Matrix has you. Follow the white rabbit.
NEO: o_O.
COMPUTER: Knock, knock.
NEO: Ooh, who's there?
Who is there, it turns out, is the LEATHER BIKER CREW - a typical unshaven BIKER with his leather-clad SLUT. Unspecified ILLEGAL ACTIVITY occurs, involving a computer disk.
GUY: You okay? You look more pasty and blank than usual. Let's hit the dance floor.
NEO:..Of course, because I'm clearly SUCH a party animal -_-