Hi, Future-Gamefreak here with another one-shot! So yeah, this is my SECOND (or third) Stickin' Around fic, since the "Get a Clue" WIP is now on my DA. So yeah, if the summary didn't give it away, THIS IS SLASH. Please, if you don't like it, don't leave a 9000 word essay on why this is VILE, WRONG, AND IMMORAL. Or, how it's the ultimate RAEP OF YOUR CHILDHOOD. 'Cause you chose to not click the back button and decided to read this.
In addition, this fic is dedicated to frysfan, since she inspired me to write for this fandom. Weirdly enough, this fic was kind of inspired by MortalAnonymous' DA pic, Doug - Confession Stressin'.
So yeah, this is the first Stickin' Around slash that was ever written! I FEEL SO PROUD. So yeah, I hope that everyone is still in character... So please, Read and Review!
Disclaimer: Stickin' Around is obviously not mine. If it was, then Bradley and Stacey would have hooked up by now and there would have been an AWESOME movie. Alas, the jerkasses at YTV, Corus Entertainment, and Nelvana still have it hostage…
Valentines Yay
By Future-Gamefreak
Freezing.
The only word that he could use to describe February 14th.
Of all the schools in Toronto, why did Middlestick Elementary have to be one of the ones closest to Lake Ontario?!
Bradley stood in the schoolyard, clad only in crappy dollar mittens that managed to make his hands COLDER than they would have been without them. Yeah, he'd only been out there for like... five minutes, but Stacey was taking forever to get out of class!
If she didn't hurry up, he'd turn into a human Popsicle at this rate!
Although... it would be kind of cool. Thawing out, gazillion years from now, thrust into a future filled with robots and Martians and mutants and aliens from-
His train of thought momentarily derailed as he managed to dodge a snowball aimed squarely at his big head.
"HEY BRADLEY!"
That ringing in his ears could only come from one person.
"Hi Dill," Bradley replied as he, along with Melody and Polly, waved at him in front of a "purebred wiener husky."
"So, where are you guys going anyways?",
"OH NOWHERE..." Dill replied, spazzing out with excitement. "WE'RE ONLY JUST GONNA GO FIGHT IN THE GREATEST SNOWBALL WAR OF ALL TIME!"
"You wanna come with?" Melody asked.
"Nah," Bradley replied. "Gotta wait for Stacey."
To his surprise, Melody and Polly started to snicker. Geez, they could at least have the decency to fill him in on their stupid little in-joke!
"Okay Bradley," Polly said between giggles. "Whatever you say!"
"Come along, dear Franklin," Melody announced haughtily, to the wiener-hound in what Bradley considered to the worst British accent EVER. "And help us lead our women (and men) to VICTORY!"
"Those Six Graders may have brute force, great numbers and brawn, but WE have the intelligence, tactical skills... and the power to deafen the enemy!"
"WELL DUH! OBVIOUSLY, GRADE FOURS ARE THE PRIDE OF THE SCHOOL WHEN IT COMES TO SNOWBALL FIGHTS... AND YELLING, HOLLLLLLLY MACKERAL!"
"See ya later, Bradley!" The trio (sans Frank) said in unison as they went off to fight in the greatest battle in Middlestick history... or at least the second greatest battle after the "Wocky-Bomb Incident."
Those Neopets were never the same.
Disgruntled, Bradley couldn't help but snort wistfully into the freezing air. His friends were going to fight in THE GREATEST snowball brawl of the whole year!
Needless to say, it would be the perfect job for The Amazing Rubber Guy. He'd just go behind his foes, SINGLE-HANDEDLY defeating them with his stretchy arms and even knock down their massive enemy fortress for extra bragging points. Plus, it would be he perfect way to make it up to Melody and Polly for that whole Valentines Day scam from last year.
If Stacey made him wait SECOND longer, he would seriously-
"H-hey, Scradley..."
"GAAAH!"
As much as Bradley hated to admit it, he screamed.
Needless to say, being approached by his arch-nemisii after school with no backup, and with ice cubes for hands wasn't really the most ideal time to be snuck up on and tapped on the shoulder from behind.
Swallowing what little dignity that he had left, he turned to face his local bullies, Lance and... wait, just LANCE?!
Lance without Russell? What kind of messed up future did he thaw out in?
Yeah, he should be thankful that the "dumb" of the "dumb and dumber" duo was nowhere in sight (or smell), but the status quo was seriously messed up! It was like Ren without Stimpy, like Beavis without Butthead, or even like... Bulk without Skull!
"Hey dweeb, you done staring off into space yet?"
Well, that snapped Bradley out of his inner monologue.
Lance was glaring at him, both arms behind his back, sporting a look of pure annoyance. He must have been really cold too, since his face was turning red.
Well. With nothing else to do, he might as well delay his eventual pounding for a bit.
"So Lance, Ol' buddy, ol' pal, how's it hanging?" Bradley said in his most chummy, most Distract-the-Enemy-With-His-Pure-distilled-awesome" voice, draping his arm around Lance's shoulder.
"So I noticed that little ol' Russell is nowhere to be found. What gives? Kidnapping? Alien abduction? Reattachment to the BRAIN?"
Somehow, Lance managed to shrug off the little idiot. Seriously, things were already awkward enough as it was!
"I could ask you the same thing 'bout Stickler!" he replied, managing to jostle the other boy off of him without taking his arms from his back. "The dweeb-ette is like your shadow or something..."
So, now temporarily united, the duo stood together outside during what both considered to be the most awkward silence of their lives. Every time Bradley turned to glance at the jerkass beside him, said jerkass coincidentally looked the other way, his face turning redder and his scowl deepening.
Seriously, couldn't Lance just cut the suspenseful crap and beat him up already?
Bradley was not in the mood for this at all. Stacey was off taking ALL THE TIME in the world just to leave class, the best snowball fight OF ALL TIME was raging on without him, his hands were dead from the cold, and NOW, Lance was taking all the time in the world just to beat him up!
More than anything, he wished that he was at home right now, sipping Milo and playing 'Dorkazoids,' while his mom yelling at him to "stop being so wo'tless and go take out the-"
"Hey Scradley, what day is it?"
Oh. NOW he speaks.
"Uh... Monday?" He replied intelligently.
"Nooo, besides that."
"Hmm..." He seriously began to ponder. "28 days before March break?"
"No. What else?" Fidgeting, Lance started to get impatient.
Bradley's face fell. "Uh... Wedgie Day?"
To his complete and utter surprise, Lance removed one arm to smack his forehead.
"Do I have to SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?!" Lance practically shouted, all up in the other boy's face. "Today's VAL-EN-TINES DAY!"
"Heh, well..." Bradley chuckled nervously. "That was my next guess!"
It was Valentines Day, so what? What did that have to do with anything?
As if the jerk jock could read his mind, he brought out his other arm from behind his back and held out a small silver box.
"It's not going to explode or nothing..." he muttered, flushing even more at Bradley gawked blankly at the box rather than opening it.
Taking that as a somewhat legit go-ahead, he took the box.
What he initially thought to be sliver wrapping paper turned out to be tin foil, (How cheap can you get?) And with no fanfare, Bradley tore it off and opened the box.
All that was in it was a card. A rather bland looking card.
Looking back to Lance for advice, the bully could only make a hand gesture could roughly translate to "OPEN THE CARD, YOU IDIOT."
So, he opened it, and the inside of the card was rather... unique to say the least.
It looked like the psychotic scribbling of a three year old on the highest of sugar rushes, random markers and crayons scribbled in to make a result so crazy, that not even Picasso himself could find words to describe it. But, there was some bizarre hint of effort put into it, Bradley noted. And somewhat visible from the trippy background, it said:
"Deer Scradly,
I aktully think dat ur an ok guy.
Love Liek, Lance."
And, taped rather aggressively to the back of the card, was some kind of plant.
For some reason, it seemed familiar. It kind of reminded Bradley of last Christmas, when the girls, all weird and giggly, kept hanging up stupid plants just like it all over the school. And if some poor souls just happened to walked under them, they had to kiss-
Hey, wait a minute! Why was this on Lance's Valentines...?
And suddenly, it all made sense.
The awkward silences, the plant thing, the blushing, LIEK. How could he not see this before? Lance had a crush on-
And then, THAT'S when everything decided to go all warp speed on him. And then that's when he realized that he unconsciously peeled off the stupid plant and held it up between the two of them.
And it was about THEN that he realized that Lance just kissed him.
And that REALLY shouldn't have warmed him up.
Ahh... finally outside!
As Stacey left the school building, she scanned the courtyard for Bradley. He was probably out waiting patiently for her, like a GOOD friend would. Needless to say, winning 'Student of the Month' for the third time in a row was completely worth the ten minutes that could have went to snowball fights.
Okay, maybe it was SOMEWHAT worth it.
So after many seconds of walking, she finally found Bradley... except in a weird state of mind.
He was just sitting there in the snow, holding up a piece of mistletoe like a statue or something!
"Hey B-man, you wouldn't believe what happened-"
Nothing. He was just staring off into space.
"Bradley..." She waved a hand in front of his face.
Still nothing. She was getting A BIT annoyed.
"HELLLOOOOOO?! EARTH TO BRADLEY!"
He might have come to, since he turned to face her.
She looked at him, confused.
He looked at her, haunted.
"... The future?" Bradley started.
"... is a messed up place." He finally said... before promptly falling over.