Friday evening. Hanna.
As she made her way home through the darkened, frosty nighttime streets of Rosewood, Hanna Marin was somewhat baffled, to say the least.
Truth be told, she was anxious as hell. All she wanted to do in the world right now was just get home, throw her headphones on, and bury the feelings she felt tonight beneath every distraction she could possibly think of.
She wasn't feeling this. She couldn't be. Could she? After years and years of knowing Emily Fields – her best friend, the one person she felt as if could talk to about absolutely anything, trust with any secret, even the secrets she hadn't ever even thought of telling Aria or Spencer or Alison or even Caleb – why now, of all the time that they'd known each other, had she realized that she possibly had feelings for her best friend?
Hanna slowed down, approaching her house, grabbed the key from under the mat and quietly let herself in. Flopping down on her bed, in a room that she had once shared with the very person she was trying to forget about, she slid her headphones on, plugged in her iPod, and pressed play.
Just fucking forget about it. You didn't feel anything.
You didn't notice for the first time how beautiful her smile really was when she laughs at your stupid, ridiculous jokes that no one else gets. You didn't get butterflies in your stomach when she hugged you goodnight. You didn't wish so fucking bad that she could've fallen for you instead of Alison, the girl who tormented you silently for years and years. Tonight was like any other. Just the four of us watching a movie and trying to forget about A.
She flicked from song to song to song, but nothing was working. All it did was remind her even more.
Not really sure how to feel about it / Something in the way you move / Makes me feel like I can't live without you / It takes me all the way / I want you to stay…
It's not like Hanna hadn't ever noticed how amazing Emily was before. Emily had always been different to the others – there was just something about her, something that gave Hanna that little lurch in her stomach that she'd felt tonight for the first time in years. She was sweet, kind, caring Emily. But she was also fiery, stubborn, and brave. The bravest girl Hanna had ever met. Every day she admired Emily more and more for the way that she dealt with the shit she'd gone through.
Tonight was different. All Hanna could think about was how much she wanted to lean over and wrap her arms around the quiet brunette and kiss her like she'd never kissed anyone else before.
Fuck.
She couldn't take it. On top of all the shit going on in her life at the moment, she just really could not afford to think about Emily that way. Those thoughts would open too many doors and cause too many problems and cause way too much hurt. She'd had enough of that for a lifetime.
You do not have feelings for Emily.
Throwing her iPod across the room in a rash fit of frustration, she placed her headphones on her bedside table, turned out the lights, buried her head into her pillow, and fell into a troubled, uneasy sleep.
(You do, but you're too much of a damn coward to admit it..)
Saturday Morning. Hanna.
The sudden tinny sound of her phone ringing at full volume woke Hanna in an instant. Dazed and confused, she reached blindly for her phone, slapping her hand across every inch of her bedside table until she finally grabbed it.
She glanced at the caller ID. Spencer. This would be a barrel of fun.
"Hello…?"
"Hanna! You're awake! Finally!"
Hanna sighed. "Unfortunately. What's up?"
She heard Spencer pause on the other end. "Um. Nothing, really. I was just a bit worried. You seemed pretty upset last night. Why did you leave early? Is everything okay with Caleb?"
Hanna smiled. Clueless to her situation as Spencer may be, trust her to know simply from the way that she had been acting that Hanna was upset over her love life. Those girls really did know her inside out.
"Everything's fine. Really. I was just feeling a bit off, I promise. Bad burrito. Don't worry, Spence."
Spencer breathed a sigh of relief on the other line. "Phew. Call me later when you get the chance, okay? Maybe we could get a coffee or something."
Hanna smiled. Did that girl ever stop thinking about caffeine? "Will do. Seeya, Spence."
She hung up the phone and opened her wardrobe, picking out her outfit for the day. She'd no idea where she'd be going or who she'd be with, but she really couldn't afford to sit around in her room thinking all morning.
But as soon as she'd picked out the perfect outfit, her phone buzzed on her bed.
1 new message, from Emily.
Hanna bit her lip and picked up the cellphone. Shit. Had Em noticed something was off too? Could she somehow, miraculously, terrifyingly know about what Hanna had been thinking about for all of last night?
"Can we hang out later? need to talk to you about something. text back when u get the chance x"
This was going to be a very, very long day.