Sex was a beautiful thing. Able to start families, repair relationships, and provide the most amazing entertainment, it was a great invention. However, ADA Casey Novak had taken an anti-sex stance as of late. It didn't help that she and Detective Olivia Benson had been sleeping together for months. The purely consensual love making they shared lit many a night. But when Olivia finished, she left, and acted completely nonchalant the following day. That is, until the following night, when the cycle continued. Casey, tired of being used, stormed into the precinct after three AM. Seeing Olivia at her desk made her blood boil. "I knew you weren't going home, but this is low, even for you."
"Whoa, Casey calm down! I had a case."
"A case of regret is more like it." Casey perched on the edge of Olivia's desk, folding her arms across her chest defiantly.
"What's wrong with you? I thought you were tired."
"What's wrong with me?" Casey scoffed. "Only your inability to explain where we stand. If all I am is your lover, then I need to know. Because it sends mixed signals when you ask me out for drinks and dinner, then act like a popsicle to me the next day. Am I bad in bed or something?"
"What? No! Definitely not," Olivia replied defensively as she stood to place some paperwork in the cabinet, "Are you saying you want more?"
"No, Olivia. I don't want more. I want less. I mean, I want more. I mean.." Casey groaned in frustration. "I want less sex, more explanation." She lowered her voice so the night officers wouldn't hear her. "Are we fuck buddies and nothing more, or do you want to date? If you want to sleep together and be done with it, that's fine, but I don't know if I can do that."
"You've never complained before! Why now?" Olivia sighed, trying to concentrate on her statement
"I saw you and that waitress making out, Olivia. If you want to sleep with other people, I understand. I have no right to complain, because you never said we were mutually exclusive. But it's seeing that and being used and then treated like crap the morning after and you acting like I don't matter...Olivia, I don't know if that's what I need in my life right now."
Olivia looked a little panicked. She was so used to Casey being there for her, in intimate ways because she tried to be so emotionally detached. She knew Casey usually wore her heart on her sleeve where Olivia was concerned which was why she was being so open, whereas Olivia played her cards close to her chest. "So what are you saying? If we're not exclusive you're not interested?"
Casey bit back a sudden urge to cry. She looked away, blinking the tears away. "It hurts me when we sleep together, and then you treat me horribly the next day. You're so cold to me. If the way to get my best friend back is to keep her out of my bed, then that is what I have to do. And it's not as if you don't have anyone else," the attorney snapped.
"That snog was a dare actually. Do you really think I'm that cheap that I would sleep around?!"
"Do you want the honest answer or the abridged version?"
"Take your pick," Olivia spat.
Casey stood, her anger mounting. "Truthfully, yes, I do think you sleep around. I think you're so afraid of commitment that you'll enter the bed of any woman who looks at you! Then in the morning, you pretend it didn't happen. I don't know if cheap is the word...how about flighty, cruel...insensitive?"
"Get out!" Olivia shouted, finally losing her temper.
"Give me my apartment key first. I'm either your only lover or not your lover at all. Something to think about." Casey turned to leave.
"It will be on your desk first thing. Like I said, I'm working a case. I can't believe you really think that little of me that you one, don't believe I'm working and two, think that I'd really sleep around behind your back. I thought we had something Casey. I might be cold the next day but that's probably because I've never been really good with my feelings, and..." Olivia was interrupted by a quiet voice as a small child appeared behind her. "Olivia, I remembered something else..." she said as Olivia turned. "That's great, sweetie. I'll be just a second," she smiled, turning back to Casey, "I've got to go."
Casey nodded, a lump forming in her throat. Without another word, she turned and left before she could completely break down.
It had been a few days since their argument and Olivia had only just managed to get away from work. She stood nervously on Casey's doorstep, hesitantly knocking.
Casey stood in her kitchen preparing a cup of coffee. She hadn't said a word to Olivia since that night. Even work correspondence went through Nick or Amanda, then to Olivia. Hearing a knock on her door, Casey sighed. Peering through the peephole, her gaze narrowed when she saw who waited on the other side. "No solicitors welcome," she snapped, turning away.
"Casey, please..."
"Go away."
Olivia sighed heavily, sinking down against the wall. Should she really have expected anything more?
Casey reluctantly opened the door. "I'm not a horrible person. It's cold out here, so you can come in. But stay the hell away from me."
Olivia nodded as she stood, entering the apartment, standing on the opposite side of the kitchen. "I would have come sooner but I've only just got away."
"I bet your harem is depressed."
Olivia gave another heavy sigh. "I don't have a harem."
"How many women have you slept with while we've been sleeping together? Please be honest."
"Excluding you, none."
"So you just kiss others?"
"I told you, it was a dare. And I was drunk. It meant nothing and to be honest I wish it never happened. "
"A dare?" Casey rolled her eyes. "I thought we graduated high school."
"I was drunk! Don't you ever get drunk and do things you regret?!"
"I don't have sex with someone and then give them the cold shoulder. I've tolerated it for months, Olivia, but I can't anymore. I need someone who wants me for more than my body. I need someone who wants to settle down someday."
"I'll always want you for more than your body, Casey. You... you have the most amazing smile, and you're so incredibly tough in the courtroom. You're attentive, caring, good natured, loving, kind, beautiful, and the most wonderful person I know. But hey, what would I know, I'm just the woman who sleeps with you then leaves. It doesn't matter how I feel," Olivia replied, heading for the door.
Casey bit her lip. "You've never said that before."
"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not great with the whole sharing how I feel thing."
"What do you want from me? Sex? Is that it?"
"No. I've just... never had anyone before. Not wholly, completely."
"I'm different.."
"I know. That's what makes it so... scary."
"Well...maybe I overreacted. But if you want me..show me. Your side of the bed is getting cold."
"I thought you were making di..." Olivia paused, finally offering a small smile, "I have an official side of the bed?"
"If you start treating it right."
Olivia nodded. "Mind if I take a shower?"
"The bed is lonely, Olivia. It needs to be shown how much it means to you."
Olivia watched Casey for a moment before crossing the kitchen, pulling her close, kissing softly
"Lead the way," the redhead purred.
Olivia took Casey hand, leading her through to the bedroom, leaning her against the closed door as she kissed her passionately.
"Show me I'm different," Casey whimpered.