Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.
This is the o/s I donated for Fandoms Fight the Floods (http:/www. fandomsfightthefloods . blogspot. com). Story influenced by the song "Home" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros.
Thanks to pastichelethe for the awesome beta skills. Thanks to ange de l'aube for the lovely banner she donated.
When We Fell
"Bella."
"Edward," she mocked my serious tone as she glanced up from her computer.
"There's something I need to tell you."
"Shoot," Bella said in a breezy tone, yet her eyes were guarded.
"Do you remember the day you fell out of my window?"
Bella visibly relaxed, for whatever reason, and closed her laptop. "You mean the day I received my acceptance letter to NYU? Yeah, that wasn't one of my best nights."
New York; the state, the city, and the school. That simple trio was the subject of all my restless thoughts during senior year of high school. I couldn't understand why Bella wanted to leave Forks and attend school across the country. Okay, I guess I could understand; she was free-spirited and could become friends with a stranger after just five minutes. The thing I couldn't understand was why she would want to live where she knew not a single person. Most of the Forks High School graduates attended college and universities in and around Washington. But Bella, no. Bella wanted to be different.
In other words, Bella was never fully satisfied if she wasn't being complicated. We somehow managed to stay friends even while attending different schools. Mostly, it worked out because I ended up moving to New York after completing one year at Washington University. I claimed it was because I read an article that said the architecture program offered at Columbia was better than at Washington. That might be true, but I never actually read that anywhere.
So, after spending five years in New York, I was now in graduate school at Columbia and could successfully whistle loud enough to pull a cab over with one try.
Bella spent her years after high school graduating from NYU with a degree in Photography. She now worked as an assistant for a creepy, touchy-feely, fashion and advertising photographer named Leo. She didn't know how to whistle before moving to New York, and still can't to this day; a fact that I've always made fun of her for.
Clearing my throat and my mind, I said, "Yes. That's the day."
"Isn't that also the day Tanya got wasted off of margaritas and told everyone she gave you head behind the portables junior year?" she questioned, while picking at her nails. "Then later, we all found out that she wasn't actually drunk because the dumb ass only drank the margarita mix sans tequila." Bella giggled to herself.
Uncomfortably shifting, I nodded. "Yeah, that happened to be the same day." It struck me as odd that Bella always claimed a foggy memory of that day, yet she remembered some meaningless detail about Tanya. "Do you remember how I jumped out the window after you?" I spoke slowly, still figuring out how to break this to her.
How to break it to her. I inwardly grimaced, because with Bella, you never knew. You could tell her that she won the lottery and she would either kick your ass or make out with you. She was spontaneous, yet naïve, and I was in love with her.
I was in love with this girl whom I had known since I was nine years old, and she had no clue. Fifteen years of holding her hair while she puked, watching her date guy after guy, buying her tampons, and worst of all, enduring the simple word: friends.
When she walked into my apartment this morning, claiming to need me to cook her a greasy breakfast to cure her hangover, I decided I had put up with enough. My problem was that I didn't mind doing all of the shitty things that boyfriends have to do for their girlfriends. My other problem was she wasn't my girlfriend. She deserved to know how I felt, and if she didn't feel the same, well... then she'd have to start buying her own damn tampons.
Bella laughed, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Yeah, you have to admit, jumping out of the window after me was pretty stupid. And you weren't even the one drinking tequila, Mr. I Only Enjoy Imported Beer."
"I know I'm a beer snob. This isn't the point of the story though," I said, becoming frustrated. I'm trying to explain to her that I love her and she's somehow mocking me for enjoying quality beer?
She rolled her eyes. "Is this a guilt trip or something? You know, there were people in the backyard who were able to tend to me after the fall, right? You didn't have to jump after me."
"Not a guilt trip, Bella. And yes, unfortunately, I do remember Jacob Black 'tending' to you after the fall. Why it was necessary for him to remove his shirt is beyond me."
Bella's eyes lit up, remembering Jacob and all of his heroics. "He couldn't help but show his body off. I mean, you gotta hand it to him; the summer before, he was in horrible shape." She walked into my kitchen and began eating cereal from the box.
"I, in fact, don't remember the shape of Jacob's body the summer before. Sorry." I rolled my eyes. "What I do remember is Emmett having way too much fun yelling 'Bella broke her nice ass'," I reminisced. "Thanks to the alcohol you consumed, you couldn't stop laughing at all the blood, admitting that you were never really a hemophiliac."
"Apparently, I'm just a hypochondriac."
I shrugged. "You were all having a great fucking time and I was the only one who was worried. Remember it took me forever to get you into the backseat of my car because you kept insisting you were fine?" My words became rushed now. This whole thing wasn't coming out how I had practiced, and I had no clue what I was going to say next.
Bella created a trail of Cinnamon Toast Crunch from the kitchen back to the living room. Apparently, the girl couldn't walk, talk and eat at the same time.
"I probably didn't want to go to the hospital because I knew Emmett would drink all of the tequila before I got back."
This had been a problem for a very long time. Bella always tried to out drink my brother, Emmett. There was one time when she did win, during spring break of our sophomore year in college. It was only because Emmett was sick with the flu and still accepted her drinking challenge, like the nimrod he is.
"You asked me for a cigarette on the way to the hospital." I laughed, shaking my head. Bella set the box of cereal on the floor and crossed her arms. It wasn't a sign of annoyance or impatience, it was just something she did out of boredom.
"You told me no, but I grabbed a cigarette from the pocket of your shirt anyway and then you handed me a lighter."
"How could I deny you? You kept saying it was going to be your last cigarette ever. I wasn't sure if you meant because you were quitting smoking or because you thought you were going to die."
She snorted. "Probably both."
"Yet neither happened."
"Hypochondriac." She smiled and pointed at her chest.
I smirked. Yes, Bella had been a hypochondriac her entire life. It was somehow charming on her though, but I'm probably just biased.
"There's something I never told you about that night," I said clearly, my eyebrows pulling together. A light blush began to creep over her cheeks. If she had any idea what was on my mind, her words didn't convey it.
"Let me guess. You were the one who pushed me out of the window?"
"No."
"Was it Mike? Mike was always such an ass."
"Mike didn't push you. No one pushed you."
"It was probably Ben. Oh, God, I think I remember now! He was in the room, right?"
"Bella, no one pushed you out of the fucking window! You were betting Ben that you could lean out the window without holding on to the sill. If someone did push you, why would I wait six years to tell you?" I realized I was venting and getting a little too worked up. Definitely not going as planned.
It took everything I had to not grab Bella by the shoulders, shake her and tell her everything I've hidden from her for so long: that photography isn't a real degree. That she does, in fact, snore, and Emmett has a recording to prove it. That when she accompanied me to the Flatiron Building for the first time, I noticed the way she stared at me, gauging my reaction of visiting such a historically architectural building. She thought she was being sneaky, but I noticed.
There were so many things I had wanted to tell her during the fifteen years of knowing her, but she always made it hard for me. She sat there, looking both confused and amused, waiting for my next move.
"Will you let me finish what I was saying?"
Bella nodded. "Sorry."
Staring intently at her for a moment, bottom lip pulled so tight between her teeth, I noticed traces of cinnamon sugar that coated the corners of her mouth. I couldn't help but laugh. This girl! She never made anything easy for me. All throughout middle school, high school and even college, she was testing me, pushing me; interrupting or distracting me, arguing with me for the sake of fucking arguing. She made me miserable, so very fucking miserable.
So, I stared at her and I laughed because I was crazy for loving her, but that was the only thing that ever made sense to me.
"I fell in love with you that night."
"Uh..." Was all she managed to say, that's not even considered a word. Is it? Either way, that was not the reaction I was hoping for. So, I rambled.
"The night you got drunk and fell out of my window, bled all over my back patio and in my back seat; the night you asked me to sit by your hospital bed and insisted that I hold your hand; the night that you whispered that you loved me right before falling asleep. That's the night I fell in love with you," I said, quickly fumbled and used what seem to be only one breath. "But, that wasn't the first time I fell in love with you. It was just the first time I realized what it was that I was feeling since the day you flipped me off with the wrong finger in the fourth grade."
Bella was silent for about two seconds.
"You're such an asshole," she sneered as she stood up and began gathering her things.
What the hell just happened?
"Bella, I, uh... I don't understand," I said as I stood up and followed her to the front door.
"Can you explain to me what's going on right now?" I asked, and reached above her head to shut the door, closing her in.
"You're just a huge fucking asshole, screwing with me like that!"
Still confused, I began to smile slowly, only causing her to become angrier. "Bella, why do you think I'm screwing with you?"
"You're Edward Cullen! I make you buy my tampons because I'm childish and think it's funny. But you don't ever get embarrassed!" she yelled in my face then shoved past me. "You're always so calm, cool and collected. I just... I'm crazy. You know that right? I might be, like, clinically crazy," Bella admitted with tears in her eyes.
"Clinically insane?"
"See? You're just... ugh." She paused before continuing, still seething. "Do you know how many times I've tried to out drink Emmett, only to make you clean up my puke? Did you know that I used to make fun of every single one of your girlfriends, to their faces, when you would leave the room?"
I had to laugh at this, because yes, I did know. And I thought it was hysterical.
"Don't laugh, it's not funny! I saw your last girlfriend, Kate, at the supermarket a few months ago. Want to know what I did? I purposely threw five boxes of pregnancy tests in my basket so I could run into her and 'accidentally' admit that you got me pregnant," Bella explained with worried eyes.
"Kate? We broke up over a year ago."
"I know. But I still hate her. I still hate Tanya for sucking your dick junior year, too!"
"Why are you telling me all of this now? Are you trying to convince me to not love you?" I whispered, trying to figure out what she doing.
"I should be asking you the same thing! Why are you telling me all of this now? I've known you for... for, I don't know, and you're just now telling me that you're in love with me?"
"I'm not trying to upset you, and I don't have a good reason for waiting this long to tell you. Maybe I figured you'd react this way. I'm just... I'm tired of being your friend. I can't do it anymore," I admitted, hoping she felt the same way. "The one time I even came close to telling you how I felt, I talked to Emmett about it beforehand, and he suggested I wait until you show some sign of feeling the same."
"Emmett?" Bella asked, flatly. "You fucking listened to Emmett?"
"Well, yeah. He's known you as long as I have, so I figured-"
"Who the hell ever fucking listens to Emmett? Obviously you didn't know this, but he and Jasper had a bet going about who would admit their feelings first."
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah, Emmett bet that I would tell you first due to frustration, and Jasper bet that you would spill it first, due to inebriation."
"I guess it makes sense now why Emmett was trying to hint that you were a lesbian," I recalled.
"Assholes," she muttered with disgust.
"Well... we can both attest that I was not inebriated," I joked, trying to diminish the tension. Bella frowned, with confusion at my joke, which wasn't necessarily a bad sign. She frowned when she was happy, excited, and scared- one reaction for several different emotions. The only thing that kept me from jumping out of my window was the fact that her eyes were smiling at me.
"What if I screw this up?" Bella whispered softly, so softly that I wasn't sure it was meant for me to hear. I moved closer now that I knew her temper tantrum was coming to an end. "Really, I'm-"
"I know you're crazy." I laughed quietly, her eyes finally focusing on my eyes instead of my lips. "I know you're overly dramatic. I know you like to cause a scene and yell too loud and slam doors. I wouldn't love you if you didn't do those things, Bella."
"You're saying you love me because I'm crazy?"
"I don't love you because you're crazy," I replied, with a faint smile. "You're not afraid to be yourself around me," I added, because that sounded a little better than saying you love someone because they are crazy.
"You know what this means, right? That you're just as crazy as me." She laughed through her tears, staring at the ground.
Grabbing her face with both of my hands, I forced her to look at me. "I've known that for a long time now."
She was quiet, just staring and memorizing this moment and thinking too hard. "I do remember that day I fell out of the window and there's something you're not telling me," she pointed out.
My hands fell from her face as I sighed with exasperation. "You weren't pushed out of the fucking window, okay?"
She shook her head, slightly laughing. "No, not that. I remember you were sitting against the wall in my hospital room, and I told you that I loved you. I just... wasn't sure... and then you never brought it up after that day, so I... I kind of pretended I couldn't remember that day very well. I mean, my memory is still a little fuzzy, but..."
"Bella, you fell from a second floor window, hit your head, busted your ass, and then admitted that you loved me. What was I supposed to think?" I asked in bewilderment.
"Well, I don't see how you could expect any less. I mean, it's me we're talking about."
"Yeah, you're right." I smiled, grabbed the waist of her jeans and finally pulled her into me, knowing that I'd never have to let go. "Wait. Are you sure you're not a lesbian?" I asked, half joking.
"Edward," she spoke into my chest, "I've been waiting fifteen years for this. Will you please shut up and kiss me?"
And that's exactly what I did.
Kicking Emmett's and Jasper's asses, for making that stupid fucking bet, could wait until tomorrow.