A/N: I love fairytales ,I especially love parodying them ,Read and review and enjoy
Rapunzel was no damsel in distress .Yes,she had been kidnapped by a witch ,although she didn't see it as kidnapping after all her parents had practically had given her away and sure she was locked in a tower with no way down except by the use of her she was definetly not a damsel in distress. After damsels in distress only sat at tower windows and sang and if there was one thing Rapunzel hated it was singing ,in fact no birds dare light on her windowsill for fear she would shoot them with her arrows( she had very good aim) where she had gotten the arrows from no one knew ,especially because the tower had been bare when she had been locked up in it.
So what did a not so damsel in distress do all day while locked up in a tower ? Why practised her kickboxing and martial arts of course after all a girl has to stay in shape .
The witch (who has a name,but no one cares) hated when Rapunzel practised her kickboxing because she never knew when in her overeagerness she'd kick the witch off the tower.
"Why can't I have a normal daughter,one who sits at her tower window and sings" the witch muttered as she approached the tower out loud she called.
Rapunzel,Rapunzel,let down your golden hair
So I may climb the golden stair.
Rapunzel leaned her head out the tower,"Shove off,witch! I'm practising my kickboxing!" she pulled her head back in the tower.
Far away in another kingdom so small,I won't bother giving it a name dwelled a prince ,now this was no ordinary Prince he was the prince in charge of rescuing all damsels in distress and he was on a mission to rescue a certain maiden locked up in a tower.
He mounted his trusty white steed because as everyone knows steeds must be white and brandished his sword and kicked his horse,excuse me,I mean brave steed . The brave duo galloped rescue the damsel in distress who really didn't need rescuing.
The prince found the tower quite easily and he started to scale the walls. He smiled gallantly at the startled maiden,unfortunately for him,Rapunzel did not remain startled for very long,she delivered a roundhouse kick to his face
"Heeya!" ,she kicked him off the tower,the Prince climbed back up,holding his now bleeding nose.
"Owww" he moaned,"Why'd you go and do that,I came to rescue you."
"Excuse me,but do I look like I needed rescuing." Rapunzel snapped.
"Well,you are locked in a tower and I had thought." the Prince trailed off.
"I am not a damsel in distress and I do not need rescuing. "Rapunzel retorted,she picked up her bow and arrows pointing them at the Prince.
The Prince unfortunately was determined to rescue Rapunzel and would not take no for an answer. He fell to his knees ,"Marry,me my love and we could escape from here and ride away in the sunset on the back of my trusty steed(who's white) ." he begged
Rapunzel stared at him ,"One,I hate horses and two,I like my life here ." she pushed him out of the tower and he fell into the bushes.
The Prince jumped up,arms held out ."But my love ,were meant to be together." he took out a mandolin and started strumming it ,serenading her,which was the wrong thing to do. Rapunzel fitted an arrow into the bow and shot the Prince mid sentence. He never got to finish the song and Rapunzel never left the tower ,she's still there to this day and if you are lucky to find her tower just don't sing.
A/N: short,I know,but hopefully funny Read and review