The other day I was listening to a song while iCarly was on, so I got the idea to do a songfic, but instead of making it just one chapter, like most songfics, I decided I'd do muliple chapters for more of the craziness! Here's the first one! It's what makes the story rated T because it talks about our favorite little tech nerd possibly being gay!

If You Were Gay

It was Sunday. Freddie and Sam were roommates in college (college: Washington State University), which surprisingly the school was okay with. Every Sunday Sam just rode a subway around for a few hours for the heck of it. Finally, Freddie got the alone time he needed.

"Ah, an afternoon of reading," he said, enjoying the silence that wasn't filled with discussion of ham versus bologna. "My favorite book, The Little PC Book, no roommate to bother me, how could it get any better?" He kicked off his shoes, sprawled out on the coach, and just started reading about how to recover a lost computer file when the door was flung open by none other than Sam.

"Oh, hey, Freddork!" Sam greated, coming in with a box of bacon.

"Hi, Sam," Freddie said glumly.

"Hey, Freddork, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning!" Sam said, getting excited about something as Freddie perked up to listen. "This guy was talking to me and smiling at me."

"That's very interesting," Freddie said, picking up his book. He knew that by 'guy' Sam really meant girl, but still, it wasn't so exciting Sam had to come in and announce.

"And she was being really friendly, and I think she was coming onto me! I think she might've thought I was gay!"

Freddie was a little nervous. Ever since gay marriage was allowed, he was a little uncomfortable talking about gay people. "Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? Not that I do. But anyway, what did you have for lunch today?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Freddork," Sam said.

"I'm not getting defensive!" Freddie yelled, getting defensive, but not about the lesbian, he was getting defensive about Sam calling him nothing but Freddork since she walked in the door. "What do I care about some lesbian you met? I'm trying to read! You do know what reading is, right?"

"Oh, I don't mean anything by it, Freddork. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about."

"I don't want to talk about it, Sammy!" Freddie cried, slamming down the book. He only called her 'Sammy' when he was really irritated. "This conversation is over!"

"Yeah, but…"

"OVER!" Freddie yelled.

"Well, okay, but just so you know…" Sam said, slightly dissapointed. She then burst into song. "If you were gay, that'd be okay! I mean, cause hey, I'd like you anyway…"

Freddie was slightly taken aback at two things: one, that Sam could sing so well in the spur of the moment, and two, she just admitted she liked him. Not like he used to like Carly, but the way she used to like Carly.

"…Because you see, if it were me I would feel free to say that I was gay but I'm not gay!"

"Sammy, please! I am trying to read!" He dug himself back in his book, but Sam jumped on the coach. "What?!"

"If you were queer," Sam continued in her singsong voice.

"Ah, Sammy!" Freddie cried at the stains Sam was getting on the coach, and the fact she wouldn't give up the whole 'if you were gay' thing. She hadn't taken off her shoes yet and they were covered in mud.

"I'd still be here!"

Freddie didn't point out that now was too late to switch roommates anyway.

"Sam, I am trying to read this book." He held up The Little PC Book so Sam would see, but she paid no mind.

"Year after year!"

"Sammy!" Now she had jumped off the coach but was prancing around the sitting room.

"Because you'd be dear to me," she sang, singing around the lamp, one hand on it while she spun.

"Argh!" Freddie cried as the lamp fell to the floor. It didn't break but he was still angry.

"And I know that you…"

"What?" Freddie interrupted.

"…would accept me, too…"

"I would?" Freddie asked to test Sam, but she didn't seem to notice as she continued her song.

"…if I told you today, 'hey, guess what, I'm gay!' but I'm not gay! I'm happy just being with you…!"

"High button shoes, Pal Joey," Freddie said, not exactly sure what he meant by it.

"So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?"

"Sammy, that's gross."

"No it's not! If you were gay, I'd shout 'hooray!'…"

"I'm not listening!" Freddie said, losing his temper fast.

"…and here I'd stay!"

"La la la la la!" Freddie said, covering his ears, trying to block out the horrible noise of Sam's song about his sexual preferrences.

"But I wouldn't get in your way…!"

"Aaaah!" he cried, mainly because of two things: his method of blocking out Sam's singing hadn't worked, and the fact that she still was singing.

"You can count on me to always be beside you every day, to tell you it's okay, you were born that way! And as they say it's in your DNA, you're gay!"

"BUT I'M NOT GAY!" Freddie cried, getting a terrible headache.

"If you were gay," Sam finished.

"Argh!"

So how do you like it? I know it's not like most songfics, but it's my first ever, and I tried really hard to make it interesting. Also, I am not saying in any way that I think Freddie is gay, or that he is, and I have nothing against gays. If you're gay, woohoo. If you're not, terrific. It doesn't matter. I was listening to this song a couple days ago while iCarly was on, so I got the idea for this songfic. Tell me if I should continue or not!

--Maddie Marie