Author's Note: okay, I was bored-sue me. DON'TREALLYSUEME.

Disclaimer: don't even play around like that.

There is a place. A place where the dreamers can dream. The painters can paint. The lovers can love. I want to go to that place.

You've heard of that place, that wonderful place. It's a place like no other. A place that can't be scalded by the sneers of the nonbelievers. A place that will always exist, even when I grow old and age. This breathtaking place is the place of my dreams.

In that world, in that realm, I'm free. I'm no longer tied down and paralyzed. My blue eyes become brighter, my laughter transforms into music, and my heart becomes enveloped in soft satin.

No pain. The pain is all gone.

And in that realm, he's there. It's like he never left… Like it never happened. He just stands there and smiles that smile. That wonderful, beautiful, smile that raises the dimples on his cheeks. He's the way I remember him. Exactly the same. His hair is just as fiery, long and defying—he still keeps it in a pony tail to keep it out of his milky white face. And the tattoos? They're still there, high on his cheeks and lavender, surrounded by a slight pink from his blush.

And his eyes. His greengreengreen eyes that burn into my soul. They're still swirling with the love and passion as they were that day…

"Hey, Roxas…" He says to me, smiling wide.

I am sitting, relaxing. As soon as I hear his voice I tense up and I attempt to rise.

And I find out that I can, I can stand. I begin to run, run towards him, running as if my life depended on it, and for those few moments, it does. I know that without him, there is no life, there is nothing to make me smile the way he made me smile.

He's opening his arms wide as I sprint, he's overly ready to embrace me, just like he's alive again. Those arms are accepting me and closing around me, trapping me in the most wonderful of traps, there is nowhere I would rather be than here. Here with Axel.

"I miss you," he whispers into my hair, his warm breath is making my head swirl.

I can almost believe that the accident never even happened.

"I miss you, too," I tell him, holding back my violent sobs.

He comforts me by gently shushing my cries, patting my head, and running his long fingers through my hair, gods, I miss him so. "Don't cry, Rox… I'm still here, see?"

I nod and attempt a smile, my ridiculous half smile that he always said he loved. His hands lift up my face and he grins, "There we go," he says, "that's the Roxas I know." Axel leans in and kisses my forehead, his lips warm against by face.

The scene suddenly changes, we're back at the lot, before the accident, and there's nothing I can do to prevent us from stepping into the car and driving off. It's no longer a dream; it's a nightmare, a nightmare that I have no control over. It's a memory, a dreadful, horrific playback of that day…

He's laughing as he brings me close. We're walking to his car, a small, beat up VW bug. He tells me to get in, and I do as told, just like I did on that day. My mind is screaming for me to stop and change this situation, my heart was already weeping for what is to come.

We're in the car and heading down the main street, chatting and smiling and laughing like we always are, this is what I remember of that day, and even though I know what's going to happen, the Nightmare Me has no idea.

In the next second, everything changed. I feel nothing but pain and agony; I can't feel my legs any longer. There is not a window on my side anymore, it shattered and its pieces are embedded in my cheeks, soaked in blood and tears. I try and look to my left, to see how Axel is. He's not moving, and I see a large chunk of metal stabbing into his chest.

No… It can't be…

There's a flaming hot fire engulfing the car, dark, black smoke everywhere. It cut itself between Axel and I, I could no longer see him.

"No!" I scream at the top of my lungs, my throat going raw.

And then, there's nothing. That's when I force myself awake, I'm not strong enough to relive through seeing him…dead. I can't replay the hospital again; it's filled with too much heartache.

My chest is beating and beating and it doesn't seem to stop. I hold my hands up to my heart, breathing in slowly and deeply, I exhale, steadily regaining control of my heart. I raise my fingers to my eyes. Tears. Again.

From inside, I can hear the thunder and see the lightning in the dazzling storm outside. The wind is howling to the moon, praising its beauty, but I don't care. There is nothing I care about anymore.

I look to the clock where a flashing 12:00 greets me, the power had gone out. How wonderful.

My eyes wander my bedroom—which used to be ours—and I can see that everything is exactly the way he had left it. His dirty clothes on the floor, a small clump of shirts and jeans, the little open bottles of cologne and lotion strewn across the top of the dresser, and even his work schedule taped to the mirror, along with photos of us together.

I haven't touched anything of his, maybe it's stuck in my brain that I can't believe he's gone. He has to come back…

I shake my head and wipe away my tears, "Axel…" Letting myself swallow a sob, I calm myself down.

"Flamez!" I call out, and instantly, she's there. I can see her glossy black coat, even in the shadows, I point towards my wheelchair and she nudges it over, close enough so that I can load myself in.

After I do so, I smile at her and pat her head, "Good girl..."

Since the accident, I had lost use of my legs. Dr. Vexen had told me that it was a miracle for me to be alive. He told me that they tried to get my legs back, but they couldn't repair the broken muscles and other stuff I didn't remember. They said I could try physical therapy, that maybe my body would heal on its own. But they told me not to get my hopes up. They had told me I was lucky, that I could've died. They didn't know that I would've rather been dead than be alive without Him. They had given me 'Flamez' to help me, my very first dog, and probably the only being I could ever be with. You know, since she didn't remind me of Him…

I check my wrist watch for the time, about 5:23 am, Sora would be awake…

Being extra-careful not to touch anything of Axel's, I reach for the phone and ignore the tangled wires of its cord, straight away I dial my brother's cell phone number. He freaks out when I do not call everyday—Sora, a genuine worrier and a loving brother.

I hear half a ring, and already, he answers, "Roxas!"

Automatically, my mouth pulls up into a half-smile, lips sealed shut.

"How are you this morning? You never call this early."

I sigh and hold the phone between my cheek and shoulder. Cautiously as I can, I lift myself onto my wheelchair with my arms, sitting myself and adjusting my body so that I am comfortable. "Sora, you know that I call you every morning…"

Sora huffs, "But not this early… You call around 7…"

I try to laugh, "Flamez woke me up real early! Guess she's hungry!"

"Rox…" I wince at the nickname, He used to call me that… "I'm getting worried about you…"

Scoffing, I pat Flamez's head and scratch behind her ear, just the way she likes it, "More worried than you already are?"

"Roxas! You know what I am talking about!" Sora almost yells, "You're all alone over there!"

"What are you talking about? I have Flamez…" I bite my lip, he can't come back here. I don't want to keep him from his life…

"You're cooped up in that small apartment, no one keeping you company! You never let me visit you, or even come over!"

I find myself almost not caring. Almost.

"I want you to be taken care of…"

"I'm fine, Sora. I really am!"

"No, Roxas. You aren't. You have barely interacted with anyone. This isn't healthy at all… I'm going to move back in with you!"

"No!" I scream, "No! You can't leave Kairi!" Her heart would just break…

"Your doctors even told me that you aren't going to your therapy!"

I bite my tongue and thought before I spoke, "I've…just been busy."

"How are you ever going to walk again if you don't even try." Sora says, his voice is deadpan and monotonous. It isn't a question.

I stay quiet at that, only because deep inside, I know he's partly right.

"If... You don't let me live with you… Please, Roxas, please, just let me send someone to help you?" Sora starts to plead, and I know I can't resist. He's my brother, and he cares…

"…Who would be this 'someone'?"

XXX

After being condemned into an already-full train, and vigorously being forced into my seat, my best friend calls me and begins to tell me how he's thankful, how he doesn't know how he can make this up to me, and, of course, telling me about how a good job I will do, about how I am going to fix someone that I have never even met.

I am tired, I have a headache, and I just want to drink until I pass out and sleep it off. I know in my mind I cannot make it to Twilight Town awake. But the thing is, I know that I have to do this, I know that I have to at least help as much as I can. It isn't because it's my best friend's brother, but that I just owe Sora everything.

"Okay, for the millionth time, there's still an hour and a half until I arrive!" I tell Sora, but that doesn't ease his worry.

He sighs and suppresses a scream, "Why won't the train go faster?"

"…Because it would derail, dumbass."

Sora scoffs and starts to tell me all about Roxas, again. He's repeating how his brother acts, what exactly he thinks is wrong with him, how he lives from day-to-day, things like that. I find myself zoning out and yawning, being that this 'job' was sprung on me last night – late. That's right, I didn't even have a whole day's notice that I was skipping town and moving about a thousand miles away.

I close my eyes, and attempt to listen to Sora's babbling, but I don't. He's going on and on, and I can no longer take in any more information. Not without sleep.

"RIKU!" He screams. Yeah, that sure as fucking hell wakes me up.

I immediately put my hand to my ear, hissing, "What. The. Fuck."

"You were falling asleep! This is important!"

Now, I sigh. "Sora, I heard this all last night. Remember? You were there, in my apartment? Making sure that I packed? You didn't let me sleep?"

He's quiet now and all I hear is his breathing and the train running over the tracks in that quick rhythm that I can't help but love. "You're tired."

I hold back a yell, "Yes."

"Fiiiiine. Call me when you arrive?"

"Duh."

He hangs up and I let out a breath I didn't know that I was holding. I'm closing my eyes again after one last look around the train's cabin, making sure that no one is close to me. Once I'm satisfied, I shut my eyes and immediately fall asleep.