This is my first Tanz story and basically wanted to write this because I wanted a darker, less fluffy approach to an Alfred/Herbert fanfic. I'm gonna try to continue this as soon as possible and appreciate any constructive feedback. I'm German and English is still just a secondary language to me, so if there are any mistakes, you can point them out and I'll fix them! I'm not in any way a great writer, but I hope you enjoy this!
Alfred had found out that there were only two things that could make a vampire feel anything: blood and sex.
The former he found out shortly after he was turned by Sarah and soon found himself yearning for a drop of the red liquid. He wanted it so much that he could see the blood pumping in Professor Abronsius' neck, he could hear it thumping in his ears like a loud drum, so loud he couldn't hear anything else. He had looked at Sarah who looked just as thirsty as he felt and without even thinking about it, he strode over to where the oblivious Professor sat.
„Ah, Alfred! How is Sarah? I'm sure that once we get her back to civilization we will find a way to a hospital!", the professor still didn't look up from his notes and Alfred couldn't answer, all he could focus on was that droning thumping in his head and the thirst that made his throat feel dry. „Despite the danger, we have learned so much about these creatures! Oh, what my colleagues will look like once they see what we found out!" Alfred came up close to the professor and with his tongue he could feel the sharp teeth in his mouth that were aching to bury themselves in that constantly pumping neck.
The professor couldn't even fully scream before Alfred had already grabbed him and bitten him roughly. He felt the thick blood running into his mouth and could have sobbed at the pleasure. He held on even tighter, keeping his struggling mentor close so he could get every drop of the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. Alfred felt the flow of blood ebbing until, finally, the professor slumped in his arms. Once Alfred had realized what he had done, had seen the carnage he had wreaked on the man he had admired and accompanied for so long, he pushed the man away and rushed away from him.
Alfred was gasping in short breaths he didn't even need anymore, just so he could try and feel normal. He saw Sarah pounce on the professor, trying to squeeze out as much blood as she still could out of his neck. Alfred wanted to react, wanted to push her away, wanted to run away and wait for the sun to come up so he could turn to dust. He couldn't move, though; he was planted to his spot on the wet and dirty grass, forced to stare wide-eyed at Sarah, beautiful, sweet Sarah who had become a monster, just as he had, who had made him so. He felt a wave of disgust and revulsion, both at her and himself. Maybe he should release them both, stake her and then himself. Alfred heard the professor's voice in his head, reprimanding him to remember that he should push the wooden stake between the sixth and seventh rib. Alfred felt like throwing up and he tried, but he couldn't.
Sarah carelessly threw the professor's body on the ground and stood up gracefully. She turned to Alfred and smiled with her mouth covered in blood as red as her dress. Alfred stared at her, traumatized. How could she enjoy this? How was she not horrified? They were both murderers now, thirsting for blood like the creatures he had hunted.
„What? Are you going to keep sitting there until the sun comes up?", Sarah chuckled. She held out her hand, motioning him to take it. Alfred slid back further until his back hit a tree. He kept staring at her silently. He wanted to think that this wasn't Sarah, that Sarah had been kind and good and would never shrug away the death of an old man who had tried to save her. Alfred realized that he had never really known Sarah, not who she really was. He had painted a picture of her in his mind that looked like her, sounded like her and smelled like her, but wasn't really her, just who he wanted her to be. Maybe the count had known her better, maybe he had known that this is what she was destined to be, a creature of darkness. Alfred knew that he was not meant to be this way, he could feel it in his bones. He was not made for this kind of existence.
„I thought you wanted to be with me."
There was no sadness or disappointment in Sarah's voice, only fact.
„I want to be alone.", he replied hoarsely. „Go."
Sarah stood for a few moments and stared at him in confusion, but then turned away and went back into the dark forest. Alfred wanted to care about her departure, but he couldn't. It had all been an illusion, his infatuation with Sarah a farce. Everyone but him must have seen it. And now, he had sacrificed his life for it.
Alfred was a fool and if he hadn't felt as bad as he did, he would have laughed at himself. He had willingly thrown himself into fatal danger just so he could save a girl that had never really been interested in him for earnest and he hadn't even really known.
Alfred's soul already belongs to me
When the count had uttered this sentence it had sent shivers across his spine, but he hadn't known why. Alfred knew now. The count had been right. Ever since they had set foot on his domain, Alfred had been lost, he just hadn't known. His nightmare hadn't really been about Sarah, it had been about him.
Alfred wanted to cry and scream at his own stupidity. He had only been a pawn in this game and all along he had thought he was one of the players. He stood up and chanced one last look at the professor, knowing that this murder would haunt him for the rest of eternity. He started walking in a different direction than Sarah had, hoping he would never have to cross her or anyone again, hoping that sunrise would come soon so he could disappear off this earth. Alfred kept walking through the dark black forest, not knowing nor caring where he was going. After what seemed like hours upon hours, there was still no light in sight and his feet could no longer carry him. He collapsed down on the cold and wet ground and bundled himself up as tightly as he could. Alfred was shivering violently and soon, his whole body was wracked with sobs and he felt his tears washing away some of the dried blood around his mouth. He closed his eyes, just hoping and waiting that the sun would soon come out.
Alfred didn't know what time it was when he heard leaves crunching close to him. He didn't want to look up and see what it was. If it was a wolf, well, then maybe he'd find a quick end.
„Alfred?", he heard a familiar male voice, but ignored it. The exhaustion must be playing tricks on him; he must be too deep in the forest for any person to find him.
Alfred felt a cold hand on his arm and flinched away. He finally looked up and looked at Herbert who was looking at him bewildered. „Oh, dear…", he heard Herbert mumble. Herbert grabbed Alfred's shoulder and heaved him up, but Alfred could barely stand on his own feet, so Herbert had to steady him by grabbing him roughly at both shoulders. He tried to catch Alfred's eye, but Alfred avoided him. „I guess little Sarah got a hold of you before you could realize what she was, huh?", Herbert smiled slyly and Alfred felt like hitting him in the face until he finally stopped smiling and joking like everything is fine.
„Leave me alone", mumbled Alfred.
Herbert's face got more serious. „Alfred, the sun is going to come up soon and I don't know about you, but I would not fancy burning to death."
„Then leave me here", Alfred looked Herbert straight in the eye and could see the realization dawn in the man's eyes.
„I see.", Herbert replied quietly. „Well, I'm not going to let you burn yourself to death."
Herbert started dragging the weak Alfred who tried to resist, but couldn't find the strength in himself to actually tear away. Alfred was just so tired, not just physically, but mentally. He hadn't had a quiet, peaceful moment in days; he had spent his time running scared, rushing after Sarah and the professor and running away from the vampires surrounding him. Alfred only wanted to lie back down.
When Herbert realized they were not gonna make it in time if Alfred kept lagging back, he quickly took the new vampire and carried him to the castle. While he certainly enjoyed having this fine specimen in his arms, Herbert could not ignore the dull look in Alfred's eyes, the blood around his mouth that was disrupted by tear tracks, the dirt all over his clothes and his body. It worried Herbert more than he wanted; he remembered being shocked after having been turned, but not like this. Herbert guessed Alfred must have fed from the professor, considering Alfred was still alive when the professor would have definitely killed him once he realized what Alfred was. Herbert could feel something tugging at his heart; probably pity for the man in his arms. Alfred is too soft, too nice to be a vampire who enjoys his existence; that's what Herbert liked so much about him. Alfred was what Herbert would never be. Most vampires, himself as well, took very quickly to the debauched way of living, but there were always those few that would never be able to fully forgive themselves for the lives they take, who would always be burdened by the life they're forced to live. It pained Herbert to realize that Alfred was probably destined to be one of those lost souls.
When they finally arrived at the castle, Herbert rushed them both to the coffins in the crypt and laid Alfred in the coffin that had been reserved for the still lost Sarah. He took one last look at the boy before he slid it close and couldn't forget the look on Alfred's face even when he had closed his eyes in his own coffin. It almost broke Herbert's heart to see him so empty and desolate; so far removed from the flustering and blushing boy he had been just a day ago, when Herbert had played around with him in the bathroom. Alfred seemed like something had cracked inside of him and it was something Herbert hated to see. He may be a monster, but even he didn't like seeing someone like Alfred break.