Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.

A/N: Craig is one of my favorite characters...and so is Wendy...so here is some Craig X Wendy, then. :P

This is the first Craig X Wendy fic on this site, too.

I'm gonna try to make some more SP femmeslash as well later on...and maybe a better Craig x Wendy fic...

When Craig Tucker learned that Stan and Wendy had broken up for the fifth time, he knew that this was finally his chance to admit his feelings for the pink-beret-wearing girl. He wasn't going to let her slip out of his grasp this time. Craig had to make Wendy his, or he would end his own life..........................well, not really of course, but it made things sound more drastic and dire to him, anyway. If anything, getting turned down would prompt him to let loose his fury out on that British cunt Pip like usual.

'All I have to do is go up to her, make a bit of casual talk, and eventually slip in the fact that I find her attractive, and see if I can ask her out...yeah, that's all I have to do...' Craig went over the plan again in his mind as he entered the bustling cafeteria room, with his friends Clyde and Token close behind. They both knew about Craig's attraction towards Wendy, and they didn't judge him for it, even though they figured Stan and Wendy were going to still hook back up together in a few days anyway.

"...You really sure you wanna do this, Craig? Wendy's probably still pissed over her latest break-up and all...she might freak out on you..." Token warned.

"Of course I'm sure!" Craig snapped back, flipping his middle finger at the black boy, "I won't back down anymore! I WILL get Wendy to go out with me, I swear it!!!"

Suddenly, Kenny's violently mutilated corpse landed in front of them. A large kitchen knife was wedged in between his eyes; apparently, his body had been decaying for almost a week now. Why this hadn't been mentioned earlier by any of the students was a mystery. The poor kid never stood a chance in this crazy, mixed-up world they lived in.

"OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY?!!!" Token gasped.

Shaking his fists high in the air, Clyde screamed, "YOU BASTARDS!!! HE WAS A LONE GENTLE SOUL IN A CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD!!! WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM FROM US SO EARLY IN HIS LIFE?!! WHY..?!!!"

Stepping over the rotting body, Craig made his way over to Wendy, who was busy chatting with Bebe and Rebbecca. Shoving his hands into his pockets, Craig gulped, and felt the heat rise in his cheeks. Shivers crawled up and down his spine, and sweat rolled down his face. He had never felt so nervous in his entire life; he was finally beginning to understand why Stan had always thrown up around Wendy back in their childhood.

'I need to stay calm...I shouldn't be getting nervous at all...I'M CRAIG TUCKER, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!'

Now standing directly behind Wendy, Craig reached out and tapped her on the shoulder. "Umm...W-Wendy...? Can I...can I talk to you?" He hated hearing himself sound like such a wuss.

As Wendy turned to face him, Craig's heart began to beat faster, and his entire face light up as red as a tomato. She was just so...so beautiful...and Craig was beginning to feel a little woozy. He almost wanted to just take her by the hand, pull her close, and kiss her passionately on the lips. That long silky black hair, those shimmering light-blue eyes, and that perfect complexion...it made the boy weak in the knees.

Craig licked his dry lips, and glanced away so as not to look the girl straight in the eye.

"Yeah, Craig?" Wendy asked with a tiny smile, completely oblivious to Craig's emotional distress, "What is it?"

"Uh...uh...uh...OH, GODDAMMIT!!!" Without warning, unable to handle the situation any longer, Craig flipped Wendy off, and ran off in the opposite direction, not looking back even once. His plan had ultimately failed due to his own embarrassment.

Token and Clyde both cringed upon witnessing the scene take place. 'Oooooh...not the best idea you've had, Craig...not the best idea you've had...' they both thought at the same time, shaking their heads in disappoint.

Wendy blinked a few times, her mouth agape. "...Wow, what an asshole..."

"Yeah, he tends to be one most of the time..." Bebe spoke up, taking a bite out of her sandwich.