"My Darling...we've done it." Mr. Okma hands the brandy to his lover. "Finally...the first black president." Says Barack. "And the first gay president." Answers his beloved. They embrace in a deep passion.
But they are not as alone as they think. Two heavily made-up eyes watch jealously from the window. They widen as the lovers embrace. "Not for very much longer," says the voyeur to himself, "he shall be mine."
The next day.
Mr. Okma is at the grocery store, innocently picking out bananas (get it? phallic?). He turns to put them in his cart, and is met with a smack in the face by a feminine white glove. He is startled to see his challenger: David Bowie!
"I challenge you to a duel!" Says Bowie. Mr. Okma is intimidated by the overwhelming sexiness of the rock god. But he is enheartened when he thinks back to his beloved. "I accept!" He announces triumphantly.
That afternoon.
The mud pit had been prepared courtesy of IA Student Leadership (which is, I assume, why they didn't deliver my cookie dough). It was the perfect consistency for sexy wrestling.
A horn is blown, and the chubby Mr. Okma and his arch-nemesis the sexy David Bowie jump naked into the mud. The fight is vicious, full of hair-tugging and butt-fucking. But at last, the victor is clear: David Bowie has had his ass handed to him by Mr. Okma. Barack waves his handkerchief from the onlooking crowd.
So, Mr. Okma and Barack are wed shortly afterward. David Bowie is forced to spend the rest of his life in Mary's sex torture dungeon.
The End!