Yugioh Abridged Marik and Bakura Fan Fiction: Chain Letter

by qg2004

Marik decides to create a Facebook, so that he can keep in contact with all of his Steves. However, he receives something in his inbox which terrifies him to his core...

"CHAIN LETTER"

*Marik is sitting at his kitchen table, on his laptop, while Bakura sits nearby, sipping tea. "Name? Marik...Ishtar..." Marik says, as he types it into his computer. "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT ISN'T A REAL FRIGGING NAME?!" A furious Marik asks. Marik begins typing again. "Malik...Blishtar...Ah ha! Success!" Marik announces. "What are you doing?" Bakura asks. "Setting up my new account on the Facebook!" Marik reveals. "Why are you setting up a Facebook?" Bakura wonders. "Isn't it obvious? Using the Facebook as a base of operations is an excellent way for me to keep in contact with my Steves! We can tag each other in posts, we can participate in this brilliant invention known as a group chat, it will be such great fun! However, that cursed Mark Zuckerberg is doing everything in his power to foil my evil plans!" Marik reveals. "I don't think Mark Zuckerberg personally decides who gets a Facebook and who doesn't." Bakura notes. Marik ignores Bakura, and continues setting up his Facebook. "Birthday...hm...Bakura? Do you know my birthday?" Marik asks. Bakura pulls out his phone, and does a quick Google search. "According to the Yugioh Wikia, you were born on December 23rd!" Bakura tells him. "Can that be trusted?" Marik asks. "Anyone can edit a wikia, what does that tell you?" Bakura asks. "Then it MUST be true! People on the internet ALWAYS tell the truth!" Marik notes, before typing in his birthday. "Phone Number? Now it wants my frigging phone number?! What's next?! My Credit Card Number?!" An upset Marik asks. "Do you need some help?" Bakura asks. "Bakura, the Facebook has informed me that setting up an account is a simple process, I am certain that I can do it on my own." Marik says.

Five Hours Later...

*"Bakura, I need your help." Marik reluctantly tells Bakura. "What happened to you being able to do it on your own?" Bakura asks. "I underestimated what a worthy foe Mark Zuckerberg and his minions are. They are TRULY formidable." Marik notes. Bakura pulls the laptop over to him, and does some typing. "There, your account is now set up." Bakura confirms. "WHAT?! But how?!" Marik asks. "I simply typed in the necessary information, as Facebook had requested." Bakura tells Marik. "Lies! You MUST have used some type of black magic!" Marik yells. "Oh, that was quick..." Bakura notes. "What?" Marik asks. "You already have 25 friend requests, from people who I assume are either your Steves, or bots." Bakura reveals. "Accept them!" Marik demands. "Don't you want to be sure that you know these people first?" Bakura asks. "No need! I command you to accept the friend requests!" Marik repeats. Bakura proceeds to accept all 25 friend requests. "There, you are now friends with a bunch of people that you probably don't even know." Bakura says. "Yay!" Marik exclaims. "Oh, what's this? It appears someone has already messaged you." Bakura reveals. "My first Facebook message! I am SO excited!" Marik announces. Marik steals the laptop away from Bakura. "Oh, its from Steve Otis. Hm...that name doesn't sound familiar." Marik notes. Marik opens the message. "Five years ago, a girl who was committed at an asylum named Kasumi had died from being given too much electroshock therapy. Rumor has it that her spirit still walks this earth. Send this message to fifty other Facebook friends, and you will be spared. If you fail to do so, Kasumi will appear in your house at 2 AM, and will attack and kill you with her most trusted partner, Kuriboh." Marik reads. "Oh yay, its one of those lovely chain letters. I wouldn't worry about that, those things are never true." Bakura notes. "How do you know that for sure?! I have to send this to other people!" Marik announces. Marik clicks on his friends list, and screams. "Curses! I only have 25 friends! How am I supposed to send this to fifty friends when I don't have that many?" Marik asks. "Perhaps you could ignore the chain letter entirely and accept that it is fake?" Bakura asks. "I know! I will send a friend request to as many people as I can find, even if I don't know them! If I do that, I'm sure I'll be able to get the necessary amount of friends needed in order to save my life!" Marik says.

Later at 8 PM...

*"I sent out two thousand and thirty five friend requests! You mean to tell me that none of them were accepted?!" Marik asks. "I'm afraid not. Even Ishizu didn't accept your friend request." Bakura reveals. "I always knew she was out to get me! Now what am I supposed to do?!" A worried Marik asks. "If you are so worried that this tall tale is real, perhaps you should make 25 more Facebook accounts, and then add them as friends. That way, you will have a total of fifty friends, meaning that you can send out all of the necessary messages containing that chain letter." Bakura suggests. "Are you MAD?! The evil spirit will KNOW that those accounts don't belong to real people! Besides, I had enough trouble setting up the first frigging account!" Marik notes. "Then I am afraid I am all out of ideas." Bakura says. "So that's it?! I am just supposed to wait here to die?!" A scared Marik asks. "Oh for goodness sake, Marik! That chain letter story isn't ACTUALLY real! Some dead asylum patient isn't going to break into our home just because you didn't share a bloody chain letter!" Bakura notes. At that moment, someone knocks on the door. "Its her!" Marik yells. "It isn't even 2 AM, and besides, if a crazed murderer was going to come and kill us, they probably wouldn't knock." Bakura points out. Bakura walks towards the door. "Don't open the door, Bakura! Its a TRAP!" Marik yells. Bakura opens the door, and finds Duke standing there, with a box of pizza in his hand. "I didn't order a pizza." Bakura coldly tells him. "I'll take it anyway!" Marik chimes in. "Shut up, Marik!" Bakura snaps. "Hey now, that's Kaiba's catchphrase!" Marik argues. "I'd be happy to give you the pizza for free, if you ladies would invite me in to share it with you." Duke tells them. "Wait a moment! Do I look like a frigging woman to you?! Because I assure you, I AM NOT!" Marik yells. "Why do you even need to be told that we aren't bloody women! We've met before!" Bakura tells Duke. "...We have?" A dumbfounded Duke asks. Bakura responds by slamming the door in Duke's face. "I told you it wasn't the ghost girl at the door." Bakura tells Marik. "Of course it wasn't! Ghosts are NEVER early!" Marik notes. "Why the bloody hell were you so afraid when I answered the door, then?!" Bakura asks. "Just because ghosts cant be early, doesn't mean she cant send a friend to take care of me before 2 AM." Marik notes. "Marik, as a five thousand year old spirit, I assure you...GHOSTS DON'T BLOODY HAVE FRIENDS!" Bakura yells. "How could you say such a thing?! I thought I was your friend!" Marik notes. "Unfortunately, there is an exception to every rule..." Bakura admits. Bakura walks towards the staircase. "I'm retiring for the evening." Bakura tells Marik. "You are retiring already? You are only five thousand years young! Dartz hasn't retired yet, and he is TWICE your age!" Marik argues. "It means that I am going to bed." Bakura clarifies. "You cant go to bed! You need to stay up with me!" Marik protests. "Why would I do a thing like that?" Bakura asks. "Because of safety in numbers. If the ghost lady shows up, at least you will be there so that we can both die!" Marik says. "That isn't what the expression means..." Bakura notes. "I don't care! I just need someone else to be there in case she shows up. That way, I'll have someone to sacrifice to her!" Marik tells Bakura. "Once more...the spirit mentioned in that message isn't coming! It is a HOAX!" Bakura yells. "You're lying! You know that the ghost lady is real, and the reason you don't want to stay awake is because you are afraid she'll kill you too!" Marik yells. "That is the most preposterous thing I've ever heard! Even if this myth was in fact real, she wouldn't be able to murder me! I am a bloody ghost myself, which means I'm dead already! I cant be killed a second time!" Bakura argues. "Well SPOILER ALERT, obviously, you haven't watched season 5!" Marik yells back. "If you really are going to keep insisting that I stay awake with you the entire night, then I will, but ONLY to prove that you are being a complete and total idiot." Bakura says. "Thank you very much, Bakura, you won't regret it!" Marik tells him. "Somehow, I doubt that..." A cynical Bakura says.

*Bakura and Marik are now both in Marik's bedroom. "So, how exactly do you want to do this?" Bakura asks. "Its quite simple. I am going to go to sleep, and you are going to sit in that chair over their, stay away all night, and guard me." Marik tells Bakura. "I was under the impression that we would BOTH be staying awake. That is what you originally told me." Bakura notes. "Are you MAD?! I cant stay awake all night! Do you think my face is this frigging sexy because of luck? Of course not! It is due to a very carefully timed and planned out sleep schedule, which I have been using for years!" Marik yells. "Yes, I'm sure those expensive facial masks you use don't have anything to do with it." Bakura sarcastically says. "I'd like to think of it as a group effort between my beauty supplies and my beauty sleep." Marik admits. Bakura rolls his eyes. "On that note, I suppose I better get comfy in my chair." Bakura says. "Aren't you going to need a weapon of some kind?" Marik asks. "I'll kill the ghost with kindness." Bakura tells Marik. Marik blankly stares at Bakura for a moment, before he starts to crack up laughing. "No, seriously, how do you plan on fending off the ghost?" Marik asks. "There isn't a ghost." Bakura assures Marik. "You don't know that for sure! Therefore, it would be best for you to arm yourself!" Marik notes. "The only thing I need to defend myself is my intimidating glare." Bakura claims. "No argument there. Well, anywho, I better get to sleep! Good night, Bakura!" Marik tells him. "If it were a good night, I would be asleep in my own bed, not camped out in a chair, in your bedroom, fending off fake evil spirits. Night, Marik." Bakura coldly tells Marik. Marik then puts on a pink sleeping mask. Bakura gives Marik a weirded out look, but then shrugs it off.

The Clock can be seen fast forwarding from 10 PM to Midnight...

*Marik is awoken by a loud bang from downstairs. Marik jumps up from the bed, and removes his sleeping mask. He then notices that Bakura is asleep in the chair. "BAKURA!" Marik screams. Bakura opens his eyes. "You were supposed to stay awake! Get up, I heard noises coming from downstairs!" Marik yells. "You were probably just dreaming..." A drowsy Bakura tells Marik, as he stands up. "That was NO dream!" Marik yells. Marik gets out of bed, grabs his millennium rod, and holds it like a weapon. "I thought you gave that to Yugi!" Bakura notes. "I had a replica made so that I could pretend to brainwash my action figures with it!" Marik reveals. Bakura rolls his eyes, and the two cautiously exit Marik's room. Marik and Bakura proceed carefully down the staircase, which heavily creaks. Once they reach the bottom of the stairs, they carefully walk towards the kitchen. Once they enter the kitchen, Marik looks down at the floor, and sees a frying pan lying on it! Marik immediately screams, and runs out of the kitchen. Bakura looks down at the frying pan, and then looks up at the counter, where a small mouse is standing. "It was just a mouse, Marik!" Bakura yells. Marik returns to the kitchen. "Are you certain that it was the mouse?" Marik asks. "Positive. Besides, it isn't even 2 AM yet!" Bakura notes. "Maybe the ghost forgot to set her clock a few Daylight Savings ago." Marik suggests. "I think you should probably go back to bed. Clearly, there is nothing to worry about down here." Bakura notes, as he leads Marik out of the kitchen.

The Clock can now be seen fast forwarding from 12 AM to 1 AM...

*Marik is fast asleep, when he hears the front door slam downstairs! Marik immediately opens his eyes. "BAKURA! SHE'S HEEEEEEEEEEEERE!" Marik screams. Bakura wakes up, and looks at the clock. "But its only 1 AM!" Bakura notes. "Not only is the ghost a killer, but she's a liar, too! She MUST be stopped!" Marik yells. Marik grabs the millennium rod, and storms out of the bedroom. "3...2..." Before Bakura finishes his countdown, Marik comes back in. "Maybe you should go downstairs ahead of me. Don't worry, I will stay right behind you, for backup!" Marik tells him. Bakura rolls his eyes, and then walks out ahead of Marik. Marik and Bakura once again make their way down the stairs, which are still heavily creaking. Once they reach the bottom, they peer into the living room, and see a dark figure standing in the corner of the room! Marik hides behind Bakura. "ITS HER!" Marik screams. "Oh my Egyptian Gods, SHE IS REAL!" Bakura yells. A scared Bakura turns on the lights, and Slender Man is revealed to be the dark figure. "Hi guys!" Slender Man says. "What the frig are you doing in our house?!" An angry Marik asks. "At bloody 1 AM?!" Bakura adds. "I came to play the video game." Slender Man reveals. "We weren't playing any frigging video games! We were SLEEPING!" Marik yells. "Oh. So does that mean we aren't going to play the video game?" Slender Man asks. "GET THE FRIG OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FRIGGING HALFWIT!" Marik screams. "Okay..." A sad Slender Man says, before walking out. "We need new locks." Bakura announces.

The Clock can be seen fast forwarding from 1 AM to 2 AM...

*The door can once again be heard slamming shut downstairs, which wakes both Marik and Bakura up. "Don't worry, its probably Slender Man again." Bakura notes. "That's it! I am going to go down their and throw that fool out myself!" Marik yells. Marik storms out, without looking at the clock, which says it is now 2 AM. Marik and Bakura are seen walking down the creaky stairs. Marik then enters the living room, where a dark figure is standing. "I have had enough of your entering my home whenever you please! Get the frig out of this house, before I personally throw you out! Be gone, I say!" Marik yells. Lightning flashes, and the dark figure is revealed to be a very creepy looking girl, wearing a long, white gown! A kuriboh emerges from behind her, and she can be seen wearing a duel disk! Bakura stands their, with a shocked look on his face, as Marik screams, and runs out of the room. Bakura continues to stand there, in shock, so Marik comes back, picks Bakura up, and runs out of the room!

*Bakura and Marik are now hiding inside a closet. "I cant believe that we are stuck hiding in a frigging closet!" Marik angrily says. "How appropriate for you." Bakura notes. "What are we supposed to do now?" Marik asks. "Perhaps we should rearrange her sock drawer, then she will KNOW not to mess with us!" Bakura sarcastically says. "That is a BRILLIANT idea!" Marik declares. "I was being sarcastic you bloody idiot! Here is a more realistic idea, why don't you call your Steves and sic them on her?" Bakura asks. "Because, their mummies make them all go to sleep at eight o'clock at night, and they don't wake up until eight o'clock in the morning." Marik notes. "There has to be someway to stop her." Bakura says. "How about we beat her at a children's card game! That ALWAYS works!" Marik suggests. "How would that work, though? In almost all cases, the hero ends up winning the children's card game, but you and I aren't heroes, and neither is the ghost." Bakura notes. "Hm, it would appear that for the first time ever, a card game won't solve all of our problems." Marik admits. All of a sudden, footsteps can be heard right outside the closet. Marik and Bakura then see the shadow of someone walking past the closet door. Marik and Bakura cling to each other, in fear, as the shadow passes. A moment later, the footsteps fade as well. "You can let go of me, now." Bakura tells Marik. Marik lets go. "Enough wasting time, it is time we figure out how to deal with the ghost." Bakura notes. Bakura notices a jug of water on the floor. Bakura then picks up the jug. "Are we gonna drown her?" Marik asks. "Shut up, and watch me work." Bakura tells Marik. Bakura pokes his head outside the closet door, and when he sees the coast is clear, he comes out, and dumps the entire jug of water on the floor in front of the closet door. Bakura then lets out a loud whistle, and runs back into the closet, quickly closing the door behind him. "Oh, I know! You are going to make her step in a huge puddle, so that her socks will get wet! She'll be so furious, she'll storm right out of the house and leave us alone!" Marik suggests. Bakura rolls his eyes. "Just WAIT a moment!" Bakura tells Marik. A moment later, the ghost can be heard walking by the closet. A loud crash can then be heard outside the closet door! "SHE'S COMING IN!" Marik screams. Painful moans can then be heard coming from right outside the door. "No she isn't." Bakura assures Marik. Bakura opens the closet door, and Kuriboh comes right at him! Bakura punches Kuriboh, and destroys it! Bakura looks down, and sees the ghost lying on the floor, after having slipped in the puddle of water. "Oops, forgot to put a caution sign down. My apologies." Bakura tells the ghost. Bakura kneels down, and touches the ghosts arm. "Interesting, she isn't transparent." Bakura notes. "We've discovered a new type of ghost! We are going to be millionaires!" Marik declares. Bakura ignores Marik, and reaches for the ghosts neck. Bakura then peels a mask off of the ghost's face. Marik gasps upon seeing the true identity of the ghost. "The Pharaoh!" Marik states. Yami Yugi looks up, and sees Bakura holding his mask. "Marik, Bakura! Fancy meeting you here!" Yami Yugi notes. "Why would you do such a thing?" Marik asks. "Revenge! Both of you tried to send me to the Shadow Realm at one time or another, did you REALLY think that I was just gonna let that go?" Yami Yugi asks. "You seemed pretty cool about it the last time we saw each other." Marik notes. "I was FAKING IT! So, in order to get my revenge, I sent you a chain letter through Facebook that I myself have received, so that I would have the opportunity to come and torment the two of you for the entire night, and I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!" Yami Yugi yells. "I told you Kasumi wasn't real!" Bakura tells Marik. "How DARE you dupe me!" Marik yells at Yami Yugi. "You weren't a really difficult person to dupe." Yami Yugi notes. "You weren't a really difficult person to expose!" Bakura argues. "Get out of my sight." Marik orders Yami Yugi. "Fine, but I promise you this...I WILL be back!" Yami Yugi promises, before standing up, and running out the front door. "Do you believe me now?!" Bakura asks Marik. "You were right, Bakura. It was foolish of me to think that a ghost was going to come after me, just because of a chain letter I received through Facebook. Now, I can sleep easier knowing that the ghost isn't coming for me." Marik says. Bakura nods, and he and Marik proceed up the stairs. Outside, someone can be seen watching Marik and Bakura scale the stairs through their window…

THE END