Right...anyway, this is a semi crack!fic combining Twilight, Pendragon, Fruits Basket, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Star Wars, Digimon, The Three Musketeers, Maximum Ride, Artemis Fowl, and a dancing cup of ramen noodles. Oh, and a crazy bomber named Mino.
Co-written with the Minotaur, Element Wolf, and GreekGeek7. Nice work, guys! (But why am I always stuck with the editing?)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Edward: I like pretty colors.
Bobby: Huh???
Edward: I like rainbow ponies.
Bobby: What?!?!?!? What kind of man are you?!?!?!?!?
Edward: A vampire and I am awesome. Chicks dig me.
Bobby: Yeah, sure.
Percy: Annabeth digs me!
Bobby: when did you get here? And how?!?!?!
Percy: I, ah, just kind of slipped in.
Edward: I have spidey powers!
Percy and Bobby: ???????
Edward: *skipping* I have pink, curly locks! I have pink curly locks!
Bobby: Should we kill him? I think he might work for Saint Dane.
Percy: Give him time, I think I saw him have a little whiskey outside. I think he works for Kronos though. Who's Saint Dane?
Bobby: Who's Kronos?
Edward: I love Bella! My love Bella! But I also love cream cheese! Cream cheese is my favorite love!
Bobby: Can I kill him now?
Percy: No. Wait.
Spader: *runs in from a side door along with Gunny and Loor* What's going on, mate?
Bobby: I want to kill that freak over there, but this dude won't let me.
Percy: We have to wait, until the time is right
Edward: I will use my spidey powers to defeat you!!!
Darth Vader: *in a girly voice* No!!!! *runs out of room*
Edward: Yeah, it worked!
Percy: *in a dark voice* Prepare to die!
Edward: No!!!! *puts both hands in the air and begins to fly*
Spader: What the?
Annabeth: *runs in from door* Hey, Percy! Who're they?
Percy: This is Bobby, Spader, Gunny and Loor. They call themselves Travelers though I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.
Loor: Good. We wouldn't want that.
Percy and Annabeth: Why?
Loor: Because you're-
Edward: Cherry Soda!
Percy: And that's Edward.
Percy: I'm going to kill Edward- *a white light appears in the sky and some people fall out* Oh more people!
Bobby: Aja! *Aja stands up.*
Aja: Hello, Pendragon. Who are those kids?
Bobby: They're Percy, Annabeth and that weirdo flying is Edward.
Edward: People call me Eddy! *does a spin in the air* Wheeeee! I like pickles!
Bobby: Uh...what?
Percy: Let's just ignore him...
Dancing cup of ramen noodles: Don't eat me, don't eat me, please, oh please, don't eat me!
Percy: Weirdos.
*Yuki runs in and bumps into Aja*
Rat Yuki: Oops.
Edward: AWESOMENESS! Even my uber-cool vampire powers can't do that!
*Tohru walks in and sees Rat Yuki*
Tohru: Oh, oh, no! *flustered* Aah-Yuki! What happened?
Cat Kyo: Who the hell cares?
Tohru: K-kyo! Why are you here?
Cat Kyo: I'm here to beat that damn rat!
*Yuki and Kyo start fighting*
D'Artagnan: A battle? I shall join it! En garde! *draws sword and duels with Yuki and Kyo*
Percy: ....I'm scared
Noodles: Me, too.
*Digimon burst in*
Cat Kyo: ARGH!!!! *kills everyone except for Percy, Bobby and cup of noodles.*
Deus ex machina: 'Ello! Everybody's favorite plot helper is here! *brings everyone back from the dead*
Everyone: ....
Percy: Get out of here!
Deus ex machina: *sniffles* FINE! I know when I'm not wanted!
Artemis Fowl: *walks in and bumps into Annabeth* Oh, sorry, I...
Annabeth: *eyebrows move up and down* Hello.
Percy: Oh, no you didn't!
Annabeth: What?
Percy: Flirt with that...weird Irish kid!
Maximum Ride walks in with her flock
Aja: Oh, great. More people...
Artemis Fowl: *stares at the flock* The logistical impossibilities of human-avian hybrids...you...you shouldn't exist. *faints*
Max: Well, gee! Thanks! *glowers at Artemis*
Fang: Yeah. But hey, the School thinks we shouldn't exist either.
Nudge: Oh, yeah! Hey-is he with...*scared squeak* the School?
Gazzy: Who cares?
Max: *glowers at Gazzy* *looks at Fang*
Fang: *nods at Max*
Max and Fang: *kill Artemis*
Butler: YOU KILLED HIM! *sob*
Holly: Ah, don't worry. I'll bring him back from the dead with magic.
Holly: *uses magic*
Artemis: *sits up* Brains....brains....
Holly: Whoops. Hehe...*sheepish* I think I created a zombie.
*Mino walks in*
Mino: So what if you can see the darker side of me, no one will ever change this animal I have become *does an air guitar solo* *Sheva and Element walk in*
Sheva: What's going on?
*Cade walks in*
Mino: Oh no, not you!
Sheva: Why not?
Edward: *says to Aja* BRAINS! BRAINS!
Aja: Excuse me?
Edward: I love to eat brains! And blood!
Aja: Ew! You're disgusting!
Edward: No, I'm a lady charmer. *grabs Aja* And kissing me costs nothing. *kisses Aja on lips*
Aja: *pulls away* *glares at Edward*
Harry Potter: Stay away, she's mine! *grabs sword out of sheath and begins to battle with Edward and his, ah, special powers*
Mino: *pulls out flamethrower*
Cade: Okay, where does she get this stuff?
Aja: ...
Edward: I'm what Mommy calls special. She says that people are smarter than me, but I'm nicer. But I think that Santa Claus is nicer than me.
Harry: WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!*nothing happens*
Edward: Daddy says I'm too fat.
Bobby: Ah, what are you trying to do with that stick?
Harry: Magic.
Bobby: Oh you want to see magic? Pick a territory: Denduron, Veelox, Cloral, Zadaa: were ever you want to go.
Jacob Black - *Walks in* Meow...?
Edward: My pretty kitty has comeded home!!! *Runs over and hugs him.*
Bella: GASP! He's cheating on me!
Sheva: GET OUT OF HERE!
Twilight characters: NO!
Sheva: *sigh* Thought it was worth a try...anyway...
Bella: *faints*
Edward: NOOOOOOOOOOO! SHE'S....*sob* DEAD!
Jacob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! BELLA, COME BACK!
Edward and Jacob: I LOVE YOU, BELLA! DON'T DIE! *look at each other* *Edward attempts to murder Jacob* *Jacob attempts to murder Edward* *Mino tries to murder everyone with her flamethrower* *policeman walks in*
Policeman: QUIT THE ATTEMPTED MURDER OR I'LL HAVE YOU ALL PUT IN THE SLAMMER!
Everyone: *obedient*
Policeman: Good. *walks out*
Everyone: *goes back to attempting to murder each other*
Mino:*turns to Sheva, Element, Percy and Cade* I wired the building to explode in T-60, so let's get out of here before anyone notices
Sheva: MINO!
Element: MINO!
Cade: MINO!
Percy: Uh...I have no idea who these weirdos are, but I might as well say it. MINO!
Mino: what?
Edward: Purple fuzzy bunny slippers!
Emmett: Green banana cheese cake extravaganza!
Bobby and Percy: Okay...*look at each other*
Bobby: Can we kill that Bella chick now?
Percy: Worth a shot.
*Bobby and Percy advance on the unconscious Bella*
Percy: *raises Riptide* Prepare to die!
Edward: Nooooooooooo!!!!! *slams into Percy*
Bobby: You kill the weirdo, I'll kill the chick!
Emmett: Noooooooooo!!!!!!!! *slams into Bobby* pushes him to the ground* *fights*
Edward: *fights with Percy*
Loor: I'll kill her! *walks over to Bella and takes knife out*
Jacob: Noooooooo!!!!!!!!! *slams into Loor* *pushes her to the ground*
Alder: *walks over to Bella* *takes out his sword* *stabs her in the chest*
Bella: *dies*
Bobby: Alder killed Bella!
Percy, Bobby, Loor and everyone else but Jacob, Emmett and Edward: *cheers*
Mino: I'll set her on fire! Next to die is those who protected her!*pulls out flamethrower*
Everyone: *advances on Twilight characters*
Sheva: YAY! HAVE YOU ALL FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT?!
Mino: I look at the sun all the time. But I like watching people going up in flames the best.
Sheva: *whacks Mino* NO! The light as in "Twilight is a stupid book with Mary Sue, 2-dimensional characters!
Mino: Don't hit me! *shoots arrow at Sheva.*
Sheva: *doges arrow and pulls out sword* En garde!
Mino:*pulls out sword, does a bunch of fancy tricks and a backflip*: OH, IT'S ON!
Sheva: YEAH! *PWNS Mino*
Mino:*jumps up and beats up sheva with her awesome fighting skills.*
Sheva:Lets attack Cade!
Mino: YEAHHHHH!
Mino and Sheva: *charge Cade*
Cade: Nooooooooo!!! Kill the Pirates of the Caribbean characters!
PoC characters: *just happen to walk into the door*
*Sheva and Mino stop, look at them, then charge* Yessssssssssss! Let's kill them!
Mino and Sheva: *do lots of fancy tricks and kill all of the PC characters*
Mino: Now Cade?
Element: Now kill the Sense and Sensibility people!
Mino: Well... see... they annoyed me very much as a child see...they're sort of...already dead...
Element: O_O Oh. My. Gosh. You freak!
Bobby: Let's get some action in here and travel to a different territory. Please? It would be fun.
Mino: How hard do you think it would be to take over theses territories?
Sheva: Mino, stop trying to achieve world domination!
Bobby: Do NOT turn into Saint Dane, okay? Let's just go.
Mino: Look, world domination means that I have total control. And these territories sound like a good place for this.
Sheva: *cough*CONTROL FREAK*cough*
Mino: Noooooo, really?
Sheva: Yah, really. Not to be confused with the O RLY owl. OMG I LUV MILL CITY!
Mino: say what now?
Sheva: MILL CITY! MILL CITY! Don't tell me you've never heard of it!
Mino: Don't fly the bird...don't do it...no crude hand gestures...aw who cares! *need I even say it?*
Sheva: THAT'S IT! *attempts to murder Mino*
Mino:* starts to fight Sheva.*
Mino and Sheva: *fight*
Brittany Spears: OooOOoooooOOOOo.... *starts singing some obnoxious song*
Mino and Sheva: *stop and attempt to kill Brittany Spears*
Mino: *kills spears* Now, where were we?
Percy: *watching Mino and Sheva go at it* So...what was that territory thing you were talking about?
Bobby: Oh, if you want to go to one you'll see.
Percy: I do, I do!
Bobby: Okay, don't get carried away here. Do you want to go to Veelox, Denduron, Cloral, or Zadaa?
Percy: Ah, Clory, Clorel, Cl-
Bobby: Cloral *turns to the tunnel, that was suddenly there for the story* CLORAL! *the tunnel comes to life and starts glowing white* Come on!
Everyone: *goes into the tunnel*
Mino:*stands and brushes herself off, helps Sheva up* Help me take over this place?
Sheva: *shrugs* Why not? My conscience only bothers me about taking over Earth territories.
Mino: *pulls out explosives* Hey, kid, where's the nearest city?
Bobby: Oh, well, you just have to dive under a lot of water and swim up to the surface again after going under a gate and then you have to swim onto a boat and then...
Mino: ...Percy, can you do me a favor?
Percy: O_O GET AWAY FROM ME!
Mino: You'd think he'd be braver than that...
Percy: I'd rather face Kronos over you any day!
Mino: Well, that's rude...
Bobby: Yeah...*jumps in the water*
Spader: *jumps in after Bobby*
Bobby and Spader: *resurface* Coming?
Mino: *mutters under breath* Well, this is just another step in universe domination.
Siry: I heard that.
Mino: And you're a dude?
Siry: Yeah...just because I have curly hair that goes down to my shoulders doesn't mean that I'm a girl.
Mino: I think it does.
Siry: No, it doesn't.
Shigure: Ah, young love.
Mino: What did you say?!
Shigure: *squeak* Young...l-ll-love.
Mino: I oughta kill you!
Siry: This was NOT part of your plan, eh?
Mino: No. *glares at Shigure* Let's just go. *whispers to Shigure* Be prepared. And afraid. Very afraid. *pulls out ebf25 and falcon19* You don't mess with me.
Shigure: Meep.
Mino: Yes, you'd better meep. I'm going to kill you now.
Siry: Ah, you don't want to do that.
Mino: Why? *points gun at Siry*
Siry: *starts to panic* Because, ah, behind you is Mr. Green (whoever that is)!
Mino: Oh, really? *turns around* It is.
Siry: It is! It is!
Mino: Cool. Now Mr. Green can be an ambassador.
Shigure: Should I be scared?
Mino: Maybe, but I have decided to let you go this time. Let's go! *jumps into water*
Everyone: *somehow winds up back on Earth*
Mino: What happened to Mr. Green?! *sobs*
Sheva: *rolls eyes*
Element: He must have gotten left in Cloral...
Hatori: *look serious*
Ayame: Helllllllllllooooooooooooo! Ayame has entered!
Hatori: *shakes his head and sighs*
Yuki: *whacks Ayame*
Ayame: My dear Yuki! Whatever has possessed you to harm your wonderful brother? *fake cries*
Yuki: Shut up....
Kyo: YOU SHUT UP!
Yuki: Go back to wherever you came from, you stupid cat.
Kyo: Who're you callin' stupid?!
Yuki and Kyo: *fight*
Sheva: THAT'S IT! *yanks down curtain*
Curtain: That's all for now, folks! *message flashes across*
THE END
Hope you all enjoyed it...or it at least made you laugh once or twice. Reviews are appreciated, flames are accepted, and constructive criticism is happily welcomed. But just remember that it's not supposed to be serious.
Sincerely,
Sheva Das