Title: Breathe Symphonies: Hope In Me
By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette
Disclaimer: They're not mine.
Summary: Rumpel has bargained for Cinderella's child in their old world. Jolie Gold still wants a child more than she can say. What happens when the marker is called in?
Feedback PLEASE at: triplepirouettephile (at) hotmail (dot) com Or just hit the little button there.
AN:And we're back to bittersweet. Thank you to a reviewer who asked what Jolie would think of Rumpel's deal with Cinderella. This is all because of you. :) I tried to keep as much of the episode cannon applicable as possible here, but if it doesn't make sense, then just assume it didn't happen.
He names his price on impulse. He hadn't planned on calling in Cinderella's marker so soon, but when the idea strikes him, he cannot let it go.
It is a dream of Belle, holding a baby, cooing softly and singing to the child as she carries it about the castle. The thought roots in his subconscious, takes hold, and produces more fantasies. Little boys that look like Bae, little girls that have their mother's nose... he is helpless to the desire to fulfill this wish that he knows she secretly must have.
All women desire children, do they not? He has made enough deals to be sure this is the case. He could give her a child the traditional way, but their touches are short and careful and he knows, knows, that if he were ever flesh to flesh with her, he would not be able to keep his lips from hers. No, this will have to do for now.
Only after he opens his mouth, actually says the words to the astounded princess at her wedding ball, does he feel the magic around him shift. He can't be certain, but the future has just changed, and not for the better.
The power shifting around him throws him off balance. When he returns to the Dark Castle, he holds his tongue. He cannot tell Belle, not with the deep pit of dread that he feels in his stomach right now. He does not want to give her false hope.
He doesn't want to give her false hope, but nearly twenty years is long enough to keep this secret. She's not looking at him, her body backed into his as he holds her tight tangled in the sheets of their bed, her breathing calm as she toys with his fingers. "Belle?" His mouth is suddenly dry.
She doesn't turn, just continues to lace her fingers in and out of his. "Hum?"
"I-" It's been almost two years since they've spoken of this at all. It was so much easier to pretend the dark time between them didn't happen: that he didn't become cold and distant, that she didn't wander the house lost in wanting, that it didn't take weeks for them to get back to where they were, but the secret is killing him. He promised her no more secrets, and he only has a small handful left that have been kept to himself. They're the ones that, if not shared properly, could tear their love to pieces. "There are still many deals that I must collect, even in this world," he whispers. "There's one in particular."
The drapes in their room are open for once, and the moonlight shines silver in her hair as she rolls, facing him. Her skin glitters and he forgets to breathe for a second when he looks at her; sometimes her beauty catches him off guard like this, and he can't understand why she is with him. It makes him all the more determined to give her whatever she wants. "And what is that, Rumpelstiltskin?"
He licks his lips, lets the words slip from them as he rubs her alabaster cheek with his thumb. "What if I could give you a child who belonged in our other world?"
Something like hope sparks in her eyes before she looks away from him and forces it back down. "Rum..."
He pulls her close and speaks into the crown of her head. If he looks into her eyes, he will lose himself and his resolve. "No, please listen. She owes me a favor. Before we even came here, I asked for her child. Any woman who would give up her child is not fit for it and..." He forces back the emotion, though the words wish to tumble out. There is no topic that can turn either one of them to emotional and logical wreck faster than this. "And now we're here, and you want a child, a child that will grow, than can return with us. In eight years, Emma will come. The baby will be born. It can be yours, my dear. And when the curse is broken, we won't have to worry about the child staying if it was from this world- it will belong with us it-"
She stops his words with a finger on his lips. "Cinderella's baby?" he nods. She shakes her head as the pieces fall together. "They used that deal to taunt you, to catch you. I know it was part of the plan to let them, but she is the one..." She shakes with the power of an emotional sigh. His hand on her back can feel the way her heart pounds against her ribs, the breath coming faster against his chest. "In this world?" she whispers.
He knows instantly what she's asking. "The adoption was arranged by the child's paternal grandfather. He believes both parties are too young to raise a child. Ashley is not particularly willing but..."
Belle wraps her arms around her husband tightly, like she's holding on for dear life. "Then I will not take her child from her. Even though she took you from me, I will not do that to her."
"She has eight years to change her mind. For me to change her mind." He feels the opportunity slipping away. He can't let it. This baby can be theirs, he knows it.
He looks at his wife from across the kitchen. She's sitting so calm at the table, sipping tea. She looks up and smiles at him, a careful, nervous smile. "If she is willing," Belle says, "then my answer is yes."
Gold looks down, his hands fidgeting on the handle of his cane. "She is... still not willing. And time is moving again." He looks up, his eyes pleading. "Ashley adores you, let me tell her..."
Belle stands and shakes her head. "You'll say nothing." She strides to him and busies her hands by straightening his jacket, slipping her hands under the soft lapels and flattening his pocket square. Her fingers run over the knot in his tie. "I won't let her give up her child from guilt or a misguided sense of... charity." She leans up and kisses his lips slowly.
"The deal..." he whispers against her lips as they retreat.
She smiles, setting her hands on either side of his face as she smiles sadly. "You'll think of something. There's still some time. I'll not take a child she wants."
"You should ask my husband," Jolie Gold says, her chin tight.
Emma stares at her, the doorway to the Gold residence imposing between them. "What aren't you telling me?"
Her chin trembles now, her eyes dart back and forth. "My husband made that deal fairly."
Emma sees a 'but' coming on, so she attacks first instead of waiting. "But it probably wouldn't hold up in court. Something's going on around here. Pawn Shop brokers don't just make deals for babies and then go back on them in exchange for a favor. How could you let your husband try to do that to her?"
A tear drips down Jolie's face. Emma freezes, unsure exactly what has happened until Mrs. Gold speaks. "I can't have children."
The breath rushes from Emma's lungs as understanding finally dawns. "You were going to raise Ashley's baby." Jolie nods. "Did anyone know?"
Jolie sighs. "I told him not to say. So few people really...care...for my husband. I thought that perhaps if they saw how much we'd... They couldn't object if they saw how I..." She takes a shaky breath. "But I can't say that I didn't expect this. A baby is not part of my future."
Emma reaches out, putting a hand on the heartbroken woman's shoulder. "Hey- I..." She doesn't know what to say at first, this is far too much information for her to process. She'd been thinking such terrible things about a man who would bargain for a baby- but he was going to give it to his barren wife, a woman who obviously wanted a child more than she could express. "There are other kids out there, you know. Foster kids... kids who need to be adopted..."
Jolie forces composure over her body and shakes her head. She wants to speak of the curse, about children in her mind that will never be more than ten, about nights where they lie and dream aloud about children they will never have. She wants to tell this woman, this young, beautiful, understanding woman how she cries herself to sleep at night because she will not allow herself to become pregnant now that time has begun to flow again- not when Regina would have no qualms about using the child of Rumpelstiltskin against him. She wants to crumple at Emma's feet and beg her to help them protect a child they haven't even conceived yet from the Evil Queen.
But those words cannot be said. The lie slips easily enough through her lips: it could very well be truth. "We've looked into many possibilities, Miss Swan. With his reputation it is a bit hard to...get references. I made my husband promise this would be the last time he tried." The last part, at least, is true. She presses her lips into a hard line. "No more deals for babies. I promise. And Ashley has nothing to worry about, I'll see that my husband doesn't bother her, though you may want to keep an eye on Sean's father. He was quite insistent that she give up the child."
Emma nods and purses her lips, stuffing her hands in her pockets, "Look- I'm sorry I upset you."
Jolie smiles a bit. "You haven't upset me. I just... I put my last little bit of hope in this, but I... I'm happy for Ashley. I really am so, so happy for her. There is no better gift than a child. I would never wish to take that from her if she wanted it." She looks down shyly, but reaches a hand out and touches Emma's wrist. "Please don't think ill of my husband. I know how very bad it looks, how cruel he can seem for trying to take a woman's baby, but they came to him." She looks up and the tears are dripping from the corners of her eyes, echos of tears already shed. "He wants to give me a child so badly. That he can't seem to find a way to do it..." Jolie can't continue. Words about curses and evil and fate die on her tongue. She swallows roughly, dropping her hand. "I wish the people of this town could see what I see of him. He's an incredibly complicated and beautiful man, Miss Swan." She forces a smile back on her face and steps further back into the doorway, her hand on the knob. "Please give Ashley my congratulations."
The door to the Gold house closes softly, a metallic click signaling a thrown latch. The soft sound of sobbing doesn't surprise Emma, she wants to cry herself. She turns, looking at her feet as she slowly descends the stairs. She'd spent so much time thinking about the woman who would lose a baby by giving it up, she didn't think about the woman who would lose a baby because someone else kept one. Emma stops at the bottom of the stairs, rubbing her palms into her eyes. When she looks up, Mr. Gold is standing there. Her face flinches, but her body is frozen.
He's unnaturally calm. He licks his lips slowly and deliberately, tipping his head just a bit and resting his hands on his cane. "You've upset my wife."
Emma can't help but stutter. It is the first time she's actually felt any fear of this man. His eyes are dark, his shoulders square, every muscle in his body coiled for a fight... and she is the cause. "I... not on purpose."
He looks away from her, clenching his teeth, though his words come out measured and clear. "I would appreciate, in the future, if you brought any and all suspicion to me and kept it away from Jolie."
"Trying to hide things from your wife?" She can't help the words as they slip out, her mind is on autopilot and apparently not listening to the fear pounding in the middle of her chest.
His gaze nearly tears her in two, and her momentary burst of courage is gone. "I hide nothing from her." He sighs, and his words, his eyes, soften. Gone is the shark that the town fears; in his place is a sad man who cannot give his wife the child for which she longs. "But she gets upset easily, especially regarding this topic."
Emma doesn't understand why she says the next words she does, but they slip from her lips anyway. "She loves you so much."
A half smile, like he doesn't dare it to be true, appears on his face. His eyes shine when he looks up at her. "I love her more than anything."
She finally moves, stepping toward him and whispering. "Why didn't you just tell me? Why not tell me who the baby was for? We could have figured this out..."
Gold astounds even himself when the truth slips past his lips. "I have a terrible habit of trying to give my wife everything she could ever want. Jolie..." his smile is sweet but sad, "she is far too practical for that. She knew from the very beginning that Ashley would never give up her child. I had hoped with time..." He doesn't have to say all the things he hoped for, they're written plainly on his face.
"Why not tell Ashley, then?" Emma shrugs and her hands start flying about, her mind trying to find some way to fix this, even if it's not quite broken. "Maybe everyone's not that fond if you, but everyone loves your wife. Maybe if they knew..."
He sighs, settling his mask of indifference back in place. "A new deal has been struck, Miss Swan. You owe me a favor now." He steps past her, leaning heavily on his cane. He stops with his foot on the stair, looking over his shoulder, his teeth just bared a bit. "Please don't make me use that favor to ask you to stay away from my wife."
Emma holds Gold's piercing gaze and frowns. "I am sorry for upsetting her."
He nods sharply. "And that's appreciated. See that it doesn't happen again. Good day, Miss Swan."
Emma watches him limp up the steps, sees the shadow of Jolie move as she hears his key in the door. She can only imagine what happens inside.
She turns and walks away, hands stuffed deep in her pockets.
They end up sprawled on the couch, Belle sitting between his knees with her back pressed to his chest. His coat and cane are just out of reach, his tie twisted in her hands. Her breaths are still shaky, tears still slip out from between her lashes.
"They'll hate you so much more now," she whispers.
He kisses the pulse in her throat, murmuring against her skin. "I don't care how much they hate me. Let them hate me."
She tosses the tie across the room in frustration, the light of the setting sun catching the burgundy silk and making it shine like a flame from her fingers. "I care."
"I know." His hands roam over her arms, trying to infuse comfort where there is none to be had. It's quiet, and he can't stop the whisper. "It was a girl."
Belle smiles in a wistful, sad way. "But she's not ours to have."
His arms snake tightly around her waist, squeezing her to him. He can't help but try just one more time. Once more, he tells himself, and he'll never bring it up again. "Maybe not her, but one of our own. We could try," he says tightly. "We could. I could protect you both. And with Emma here..."
The sound that falls from her lips is halfway between a sob and a laugh. "Don't, please don't. I'm not strong enough to say no right now." She twists and buries her head under his chin. "The short time that Emma's been here, all the things that have happened since then- all the more reason..."
His hand cradles the back of her head. His voice shakes when he speaks. "Why won't you let me give you this?"
Belle leans back and wipes the corner of his eye with her thumb. "Because we both know how it would end, and I love you too much to let Regina take that from you."
Mary Margaret hands Emma a mug of coffee, staring out the window of their apartment and following Emma's gaze to see the Gold, walking hand in hand as they often did. "Thinking about Ashley?" Mary Margaret asks.
Emma shakes her head, taking a sip. "No. Thinking about Jolie."
Mary Margaret sighs and leans against the brick wall behind her. "Yeah, I mean, who could be married to a man who would make a deal for a baby?" Mary Margaret flinches when Emma's heavy gaze turns on her. "What? You said the very same thing before you went to talk to her yesterday."
Emma points in her face. "What I'm going to tell you, you have to swear that you will never tell anyone. I'm about to burst here, and I need to talk to someone, but if you tell..."
The brunette throws up her free hand. "I won't say a word."
Emma shakes her head and sips her coffee. "Jolie Gold can't have children. He wasn't making that deal to be a tyrant. He thought he was helping a girl who couldn't take care of the child and..."
Mary Margret's eyes open wide as she finishes the sentence, astounded. "He was going to give the baby to his wife."
Emma puts her mug down on the windowsill, looking back out at the two seemingly happy people. "Kinda turns the whole thing a bit on it's ear, right?" Mary Margret's face scrunches and twitches and she bites her lip as she tries to assimilate this new information. Emma doesn't let her get far. "I went to go talk to Jolie because I knew I didn't have the whole story. The poor woman just... unloaded on me. I don't think she's ever had anyone to tell. She can't have children, they apparently tried adopting and that didn't work. This was like... her last chance and I helped take that away."
A hand falls on her shoulder, a soft voice from behind her. "You also made sure Ashley got to keep her baby."
Emma turns to Mary Margaret, sadness in her face. "Yeah, and I'm not so sure of that."
She rears back. "What?"
Emma grabs her coffee and paces away, her words getting louder, frantic. "I mean, I kept projecting myself on Ashley. I'm mad that I gave Henry up, but... I didn't have a lot of choice. And in the end- he grew up better with Regina, here, than he would have with me. I was a mess when I was young. As much as I want him to be happy now, I know he was happier, and safe, and much more well taken care of when he was a baby by her than I could have done when I was eighteen."
Mary Margaret looks at the nearly frantic woman with something akin to pity in her eyes. "And what does that have to do with Ashley?"
"She's young and scared and up until last night didn't have any help- the father's in the picture now, but who knows if he'll stay, or his Dad won't do something stupid again that'll drive him away. I mean..." Emma looks up at Mary Margaret, her eyes tearing up. "You didn't see Jolie's face. I took away that woman's last hope of having a child."
Mary Margaret looks at her like she's lost her mind. "But you gave Ashley back her baby, her hope."
Emma's entire body sags, defeated. "Jolie Gold wants a child, more than anything, and her husband wanted to give it to her. It just..." She twists her hands around the mug. "And Ashley and Sean are so young and I don't think they really know what they're getting into and..." She sighs and walks away. "I don't think anyone won today."
Mary Margaret watches her walk away then turns her eyes back out the window. Across the street the Golds watch as a young mother passes with a jogging stroller, the toddler inside smiling and laughing. If Mary Margaret hadn't been looking, she wouldn't have seen the flicker of heartbreak on both of their faces it disappears so quickly. She feels like a voyeur as she watches Gold lean over and whisper in Jolie's ear, then drop a soft kiss on her cheek, full of affection. The woman leans into her husband for a second, then they're walking away like nothing happened.
The grade school teacher feels her heart twist, and she can't quite pinpoint why.
Gold watches his wife as she picks at her dinner across the small kitchen table. He puts his own fork down. He's not hungry. "Love?"
She lays the fork down gently, resting her chin against her fists. "Whe-" her voice comes out breathy, she has to stop, take a deep breath and start again to keep from crying. "When we go back, I want a child." Her eyes meet his desperately and he can see the war that's raged in her soul. "I don't care how. If it's not ours then I'll never ask 'who' or 'how'. I won't want to know. But when we go back, please, you must promise. Somehow, some way, I want a child."
He clatters out of his chair, knocking it over as he stands and rounds the table to pull her into his arms. She crumbles with emotion, hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt as she cries. He cradles her to him tightly, as if he can keep her from falling apart by sheer will. "Yes, my love." Tears spring to his eyes, but he will not let them fall. "I promise."
He is at once overjoyed and dismayed. She will finally allow him, even if it is not now, to give her what she wants most. And yet, this means that of the few secrets he has left, there's one more that he must tell her. His stomach twists. He doesn't know how long he has, but there is some time to find a way around it.
It will be impossible to give her a child from his dank prison back in their world, and now he's promised. He must find a way to keep his promise.