xSuki101: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

A Decision

One-shot:

I was invited to Youchi's (Hotaru's little brother) birthday party, that's where I first met him. His name was Natsume Hyuuga. I thought he was cute, but he was alone, so I started talking to him. We were hanging out when I asked if he had a phone, which he did. There was an awkward silence until he asked for my number. I was really happy he asked, but I knew not to get my hopes up.

After awhile he started using Hotaru's computer, I found out he was friends with Luna Koizumi. Nothing's wrong with that; I mean we were sort of friends, just not so close to each other. I was afraid I had no chance with him because he was friends with her either way, so I left him to talk with her (over the internet of course).

As I went outside, I met this little girl named Aoi; I was talking to her for awhile and found out she was the little sister of Natsume. I was surprised, but shrugged it off. The girl told me she thought her brother was mean, and I laughed. After playing a little game of tag, her brother showed up. He started to mess up her hair and she started glaring at him. The sight of this made me giggle inside; I really thought it was cute.

Soon the day started getting darker, and more people showed up. All the guys were outside talking about things, and when I came out I noticed Kitsuneme had a smug look on his face. I knew I was walking into trouble, but continued walking thinking I'll be able to face it. I looked at Koko and asked what they wanted; then before I could retreat, Mochu jumped me from behind (which caused me to fall) and Kitsuneme started pulling my legs towards them. I tried kicking them to get myself back up, and Koko tried to help me. This went on for about 5 minutes, and they decided to stop.

Koko helped me back up and left; when I was about to follow, I heard Natsume standing three feets away laughing at me. I glared at him and asked why he never helped me. He just said sorry and continued laughing; I gave a little pout, but inside I was glad I made him laugh. After that, we both went inside and talked about what school we all went to. Then we all decided to go home at the same time.

The next day, I went to school and I couldn't stop thinking about him. Hotaru wouldn't stop calling me and idiot for it, but what can I say? I'm a teenage girl that had just experience something that's never happened to me before. When I got home, I went to my room and turned on my computer. I just got a friend request from him, and was really jumpy inside.

Two days later, I decided to finally text him, and with that I sent a message. He texted back a minute later and we continued from there. I sent my reply to him and waited an hour for a reply from him; it never came. I was sad, but I didn't let it get to me.

Few weeks later, he was finally online and I sent him a message. He replied, but soon after he wouldn't reply for a long time. I started wondering if I was annoying him, but shrugged it off. Over the weekend I saw Luna and had a little chat with her. I told her that I developed a crush for her friend, and she told me he's a good guy. I asked her if he's ever stopped replying to her text messages and she said it's because his phone was crappy (and I believed her).

I soon realized I've been sending him messages every time I saw him on. I decided I would have a limit to sending messages.

Over the summer I was overseas visiting my family. It wasn't really required for me to go, I just felt like I need to get away from my stupidity and enjoy myself (which I did). When I came back, I kind of forgot about the two guys I was crushing on. I actually didn't like the first though, his name was Ruka Nogi. I guess I just thought he was cute and wanted to be his friend. Now I'm happy to say he's dating Hotaru.

I started school again, and during the fall I got myself my first boyfriend. His name was Akira Yamada. We were dance partners for our physical education class. He was kind of socially awkward, and didn't talk to me much. That was a big problem for me; since I love talking to people I was getting close to.

It was almost our first month and I realized I wanted to end our relationship because we haven't even gone on our first date yet. So looking through my contact list I stopped at Natsume's name and asked him how I would be able to get a guy to break up with me. Natsume reply was quick, he told me to keep on annoying him by saying hi to him a crap load of times. Then it hit me, I've been doing that to him for about a year now. I told him I was sorry and deleted his number and unfriend him (I didn't want to bother him anymore).

I couldn't wait to make him break up with me, so I told him I couldn't be in a relationship with him anymore, and ended it.

I truly forgot about ever crushing on Natsume, and as time passed I was invited to Hotaru's Birthday party. I loved being there, and enjoyed hanging out with my friends. After awhile, it was time to cut the cake. When I went to see it, I saw Anna and she told me that the girl standing by her went to her school. I looked at the girl and saw something about her that was very familiar, but shrugged it off.

I went inside Hotaru's kitchen to get some water and saw a guy standing by the cooler getting a man a beer. I looked at his face, and then it hit me. It was Natsume! I started hesitating and ran to Anna and her friend again. When I reached them I asked the girl if she was Aoi, she nodded her head. I squealed in joy and told her I missed her. Then I realized I should probably make sure that guy was Natsume. So I asked Aoi if she was here with her brother, and she again nodded her head. The girl was shocked, and I knew she didn't remember me; after all, it's been about a year since we've seen each other.

I was now hanging with Nonoko and we started walking towards a room. I saw Natsume walking and thought he looked lonely. I called his name and asked if he wanted to follow, and follow he did. Then about ten minutes, I left him alone with the guys. When I came back they were all playing a game on Youchi's game system. Natsume started to choke Youchi jokingly, but Youchi was too focus on the game he didn't notice.

Natsume poked me when I was concentrating on the game Youchi and Koko were playing. I looked up, ignored and left the room. When I came back, Natsume was taking pictures and laughing. I just went to Koko and talked to him. After two minutes into the conversation we were having, I heard a click and looked over to Natsume. He had taken a picture of me; I was a little mad and told him I don't like pictures. He told me he'll delete it.

About thirty minutes later, he poked me again, this time on my sides. I was kind of ticklish at that spot and flinched. He just strolled by pretending he didn't do anything. Natsume again started choking Youchi, I started to get mad and hit him. He let go and looked at me he started to smile and said get in that corner, I'm gunna rape you. Of course he was just kidding and we left it at that.

It was getting late, and we all were getting tired. Natsume was laying on the couch and I was playing with candy (really bored and tired). I got up with the candy in hand and looked at Natsume. I put it in front of his face and told him to eat it. He said no, I told him to eat it again, and he opened his mouth. I grinned to myself on the inside and put it in his mouth and he ate it. It was time for me to go, so I hugged him good bye and left.

The next day, I asked Koko what they were doing when I left. Koko told me they were looking at the pictures Natsume took. Koko also told me he never deleted my pictures. I was kind of mad, but at the same time curious about why he didn't delete it.

It's been weeks since then, and I wanted to tell him I liked him whenever I saw him again. One day I was heading over to Hotaru when I heard her talking with someone. She asked the person if he liked Mikan (which was me). He told her he doesn't like me in a way to date me, but as a friend yes. I recognized this voice, it was Natsume's. Hotaru told him not to tell me about this conversation and I ran. I went inside the library and walked inside my cousin's office, he wasn't there, but his girlfriend was.

I was talking to her about what happened, then out of nowhere, I started crying. I haven't cried in years, and because of this one incident, I let it all out. She thought it was because I was rejected, but it wasn't. I was crying because it felt like I can never be loved. After I let it all out, I felt silly.

Even though Natsume told Hotaru he doesn't like me in a dating way. I'll still want to tell him; I feel like I should just let it out.