When life happens fast, you have to live through it slow

Chapter One

Taking his hand in hers, "Life is dangerous. We have to stop living based on the 'what ifs' that may or may not happen. We need to live in the moment and cherish the time we have together because it could always be our last, whether it be by something in your life or life in general"

"What makes you think that I deserve that life? You, me, Cameron and Jake, living together as a family, teaching them things and reading to them every night. What makes you think I deserve to be…"

Dropping his hands in disgusted, she turns away from him, running her fingers aggressively through her long chestnut hair, "What? A husband, a father?"

Looking away from her tear filed eyes, "I don't deserve to be any of those things"

Glancing at his defeated stance almost broke her heart. Walking up to him, she caresses his face before taking it in both of her hands, "Says who? Everyone deserves love Jason and a chance to be with their family"

Savoring the warmth of her hands, as he gazed into her deep blue eyes, wanting nothing more than to lose himself in them, but knowing he couldn't. Removing her hands and giving them one last squeeze, "I really wish we made it to Italy"

Reaching passed her to grab his suit jacket and turning to leave

"Jason?"

Looking back at her he can see the pool of tears in her eyes that threatened to fall but beyond that he could see the love and hope

"Will you ever allow yourself to be happy?"

And with one last look he was gone and she was once again left to pick of the pieces of her broken heart

Entering his office and throwing his leather jacket across his chair as he continues his phone conversation, "I don't want excuses Bernie I want actions. Find out exactly what went wrong and get back to me," He snapped

Closing his phone he let out a frustrated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was losing it. He couldn't get his last conversation with Elizabeth out of his head.

Everyone deserves love Jason and a chance to be with their family

He wanted nothing more than to be with her and the boys, but not at the expense of putting them in danger. If anything happened to them because of him he would never be able to forgive himself.

Seeing her hurt like that always broke something in him. He hated hurting her, hated that after everything he's done to her she still has the love and hope for him in her eyes for him.

Will you ever allow yourself to be happy?

Needing to clear his head, he grabbed his motorcycle keys, figuring that a nice long ride would allow him to drown out the doubt that started to build in him.

Walking off the elevator with a chart in hand, this was definitely the last place she wanted to be. It always amazed her how quickly life could change. It was only a few days ago that she was supposed to be on her way to Italy, but once again plans with Jason fell through, they always seem to have a way of doing that.

As always, Sonny's life screwed up her life. Sure she felt bad that Kate had been shot, but she couldn't help the nagging feeling that if Sonny didn't try to ignore his past and actually had guards all of this could've been prevented.

Slamming the chart down in frustration, she went about making sure things were in order with her patients

"Troubles?"

Glancing up from her task at hand she noticed Robin in front of her with a concerned look on her face.

"Nothing, just a bad couple of days"

"Well if you need anyone to talk to…"

"I don't," she snapped, which caused Robin to slightly jump back

"I'm sorry" Elizabeth stated as she blew her bangs out of her eyes

"I really appreciate your concern, but I rather not discuss it"

Grabbing Elizabeth's hand and giving it a tight squeeze, "I'm here if you need someone to talk to you", giving her small smile before she retreated in the direction of her office

Appreciating Robin's sentiments but really what could she say to her? 'I'm upset that Jason promised me the world, only to take it back in less than 24 hours'. Turning to grab another stake of charts, but instead knocking them completely over and littering the nurse's hub

"Great. Just great" she grunted out

"Nurse Webber, I think it's time for you to go home," Epiphany stated as she came into the Nurse's hub and saw Elizabeth's frustration with the charts

"I still have a half hour on my shift"

"You're in the wrong frame of mind to take care of your patient" Epiphany spoke in a tone that left no room to argue

"But…"

Holding up her hand to halt her plead, "Go home, clear your head, spend some extra time with your boys and come back tomorrow ready to work with a different attitude"

Nodding her head in acceptance, Elizabeth grabs her purse from underneath the desk and retreats to the locker room

Bright blue and red light reflected off the scene as the Police tape line cut off part of the road where the guard rail had been smashed and crumpled.

Walking up to the crime scene, he thanked God it wasn't his kid who took a joy ride and ended up at the bottom of the cliff road in a gulf of flames.

"What do we have here? Mac asked as he walked up to the detective on call

"Well, we have tire marks, looks like the driver lost control of the vehicle and tried to stop but ended up crashing into the railing and going over the edge" Cruz stated

Looking back at the missing railing, "Any witnesses?"

"Just the guy who called it in because he saw the fire as he was passing by"

"Do we have an ID on the driver of the car?

"The fire dept just put out the fire and they found the license plate so we're running it now. But we'll have to wait for forensics to get a positive ID on the driver"

"Was there anyone else in the car?"

"Just the driver and two empty car seats"

Jogging on to the scene with a paper in hand, "We ran the plates and found out the owner of the car" Harper stated slightly out of breath

"Who is it?"

Looking back and forth between Mac and Cruz, "Elizabeth Webber"