Title: Making up for my Mistakes
Pairing: ConMama
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers from Season One, the beginning of Season Two, and Episode 3x4, Every Man for Himself.
Summary: Sawyer learns of Charlie's continued drug use, and knows he has to tell Claire.
Disclaimer: I don't own LOST, if I did, well, let's just say we couldn't air it on basic cable. I also don't own the lyrics to "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone."
Status: WIP
Note: This is taking place right after What Kate Did, and in this universe, The 23rd Psalm is not taking place, and never will, but Clementine does exist, and Sawyer knows about her. This is also my first fan fiction, so don't hold back with the criticism, I need to learn.
Chapter 1 : Aaron
It was his fifth day out of the hatch. He didn't like that place, it made him feel confined. Besides, how could he like any place that made him spend that much time with Dr. Jack? He didn't care if there was plumbing and plates, it just wasn't worth it. If he really tried, he could avoid that place all together. Freckles could bring him his meds, and his shoulder didn't hurt that bad anyway.
He was enjoying the calm breeze and the warm sun when Mamacita's kid started crying not too far from where Sawyer was lounging. He wondered what she had named the kid, but that thought was soon replaced. He was now wondering why no one was shutting the thing up. Claire was young, but she wasn't stupid enough to leave the baby alone.
Sawyer looked around, and the kid was definitely alone. In fact, the whole beach seemed deserted. Everyone that was out of their tent was a good fifty yards away. Not close enough to hear the baby, and too far for Sawyer to go get them. After about five minutes of telling himself he really shouldn't, and Baby Huey's screaming, Sawyer got up and went over to the hand-made crib.
He looked around the young woman's tent, found a magazine, and started reading out loud. The kid must have had something seriously wrong with him, because it didn't shut him up like usual. Sawyer didn't know what to do at this point. He had never really been the paternal type, so he'd obviously never soothed a crying baby. He would have just walked away, but that screaming was going to give him a headache, and he couldn't just leave the kid all alone. Sawyer wasn't sure if babies could tell that they were alone, but he knew what that felt like, and he didn't want anyone else to have to feel it.
Sawyer leaned down and scooped the baby out of the crib, being careful not to strain his shoulder. Once he had the baby cradled safely in his strong arms, he started gently rocking him.
"This ain't so hard," Sawyer mused partly to himself and partly to the baby. The kid had quieted down noticeably, but was still fussing enough for Sawyer to think twice about leaving him. He checked to make sure he didn't just need a diaper change, or anything else Sawyer could easily provide. The thing seemed fine, but it just kept crying. Sawyer made sure there was no one on the beach near them, and no one in the immediately surrounding forest. Once he was sure he was alone, he did something he never wanted anyone else to know that he ever did, and started singing to the baby.
"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone,
And she's always gone too long
Anytime she goes away.
Wonder this time when she's gone"
Some movement in the trees made him stop short. Who ever was coming sure wanted the people around to know it, and was making way more noise then any normal person walking through the jungle. The racket quickly ended the moment of silence from the baby that Sawyer's singing had created. About 20 seconds later, Charlie came crashing out of the brush.
Sawyer let out a sigh of relief. Now that the one-hit-wonder was here, he could leave the kid and get back to his chair in the sun.
"Thank God you're here, compadre, you can take Tattoo." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he saw the limey runt's eyes. He'd seen eyes like that before. Bloodshot, dilated, nervous. That boy was high. Sawyer quickly changed his mind about leaving the kid with him. Even a con man knew you couldn't leave a druggie in charge of an infant.
"Son of a bitch," Sawyer muttered under his breath as he started walking away with the baby.
"Hey! What do you think you're doin'?" Charlie shouted after him.
"I'm takin' this kid over there, where he's no where near you."
"Claire left Aaron for me to look after. You can't just take him."
"Yea, fine job you done lookin' after him, Chuckie. Where were you when he started cryin', huh? Tellin' Mamacita you'll watch the kid then waitin' 'till he's asleep to go get high don't exactly make you nanny of the year." Sawyer turned and kept walking away. So she named the kid Aaron. Not a bad name, he thought to himself. Thinking of the name made him think of Claire. How was he going to tell her that Charlie was back on drugs? Everyone knew that he had been using before, but they also thought he was clean now. Knowing he was back on the stuff would hurt her. Wait, why did Sawyer care if it hurt her? He barely knew her. He didn't care about her. Then again, he was walking towards his tent with her baby. It sure looked like he cared, even to him.
"Charlie? What's going on?" a sweet Australian voice called down the beach. Sawyer turned back around. Claire was walking towards them, confused and concerned.
"Charlie, why does Sawyer have Aaron? What's going on?" The Brit seemed at a loss for words, and for once in his life, so did Sawyer.
"Charlie?" Charlie started sputtering, like he was trying to come up with a lie, and falling short. Claire started to advance on him.
"I..." Sawyer started. Claire rounded on him, forgetting Charlie.
"I was reading to him and, well, because he was crying and..." Sawyer didn't know what he found so frightening about the petite blonde, but at that moment, she was scaring the hell out of him.
"And... It wasn't working, so, umm, Charlie gave the kid to me, and he was reading to it to see if that would work, and umm, the magazine ended and so... I was going... to... my tent to... find something else to read." Sawyer took too long telling the story, and he knew that Claire knew that he was lying.
"You know what, I'm too tired to try and figure out what's really happening here, just give me the baby and go home, Sawyer." Sawyer handed Aaron to Claire and left the scene, still feeling very awkward about the whole thing. He could here Charlie and Claire talking in hushed tones as he walked, and wondered what they were talking about. Claire didn't seem to notice Charlie's altered state.
Sawyer knew he would have to tell her what he saw. He just didn't know how. She seemed happy with Charlie. If she was even really 'with' him. He didn't want to ruin that. Which brought him back around to why? Why didn't he want Claire to hurt? Why did it matter to him if he was the source of that hurt? He'd hurt other people plenty of times and it never bothered him. Now he couldn't possibly think of telling that girl something that might cause her some distress. Why did he care?