Vaughn still could remember the day he had met her as if it had been just the day before.
She had run into Mirabelle's shop, mud had covered her face and dark circles had rested under her eyes. She had looked pathetic but she hadn't seemed to mind. Her smile had been bright, no matter what. She had gone to his aunt and had asked her about her day, not even thinking about purchasing something.
"What a waste of time.", he had thought while continuing his paperwork.
"This is Vaughn, my nephew", his aunt had introduced him. He had sighed but hadn't looked up.
"He is the island's new animal dealer, so you can get livestock soon" He had heard the girl coming to him, interrupting him in the process of calculating.
"Hey, I'm Chelsea. But all my friends call me Chels. What a pleasure to finally meet you, Julia told me about you as her cousin." She had babbled. And he had hated it.
"Whatever", he had grunted "See you Chelsea." he had said abruptly before staring at the sheets in front of him. He had continued writing and hadn't cared about giving this girl more attention than necessary.
"Yeah well... I'll go now", she had answered, her mood had slightly darkened and her smile hadn't been as bright as before. She had cleared her throat
"Bye then." she had muttered before she had closed the door behind her. He had never been good at first impressions but when he thought back to this moment, he couldn't help but shake his head. What an idiot he had been.
"Vaughn! Wake up! We gotta go soon!", his cousin called as she banged on his room door. She couldn't know that he had been awake for a while. In fact, he had been awake the whole night, craving for sleep but unable to give in to the world of dreams. He rubbed his eyes and got up. With a look in the mirror, he noticed the big dark circles under his eyes and he wanted to hide them under his hat. But he wouldn't wear the Stetson today. In fact, he would wear something far more formal today and the thought alone made him want to throw up.
"Vaughn, Vaughn!", Chelsea had shouted through the Animal Shop's door excitedly. "I found it!", she had said while placing a damping bowl of a white something in front of him on his desk. He had just looked up to her and eyed her with a suspicious glare. "What is that?", he had finally asked and a small smile, almost invisible to the bare eye, had stolen itself on his face.
"Porridge?", he had asked. He had raised his eyebrow when he had seen her big blue eyes sparkling. He smelled the mixture of vanilla and cinnamon and a warmth spread inside his stomach.
"It's my grandma's recipe and I finally managed to do it. Vaughn! You gotta try, I know porridge is your favourite."
He had shrugged and asked: "How do you know that?" She had blushed a bit and he simply had to smile again. He had taken a spoonful of porridge and he has had to pull himself together in order not to burst out in happiness. This spoon had reminded him of something he hadn't thought about in a while. His childhood.
"You can have it of course.", she had said joyfully and he couldn't help himself but stare at her. He had no idea why this girl had decided to be nice to him. Especially after all the ignorance he had thrown at her in the past.
"Thank you. I really like this." he had thanked her and she had only laughed and waved him goodbye before going back to work.
When Mirabelle knocked on his door he knew there was no going back. She handed him his black tuxedo with a kind smile but her eyes reflected something he couldn't identify. He looked back to his hat and sighed deeply.
"Thank you," he muttered. Mirabelle wanted to say something but the words were stuck in her throat. He closed the door and sighed, taking off his pyjamas. Vaughn buttoned his shirt and took on his suit jacket. He tried to knot his tie but his fingers were trembling hard and he couldn't stop this feeling inside his stomach.
He remembered when he and Chelsea had been sitting on the sand at the beach, they hadn't been talking, they simply had watched the ocean. The summer breeze had blown into their faces and Chelsea had been smiling. As always.
"I love it here.", she had said, playing with the sand to her feet. Her red bandana had slid down into her face and she had laughed. She had waved her hands in front of her eyes and had turned her head left and right.
"Ugh, who is it? Am I being kidnapped?", she had joked while she had fixed her hair issue.
"Who would kidnap you anyway?", Vaughn had asked her, his voice serious as always but his smile gave away that he had been joking.
"You are far too annoying to be kidnapped. They would let you go in no time because of your endless talking.", he added. Chelsea had pouted first but then she had put her smile back on her face.
"And still you do enjoy my presence. Don't say this isn't true!", she had exclaimed and Vaughn had smiled at this statement. Because it had been the truth. He had liked the way she talked and laughed about everything and the way he only had to sit there and listen.
When they were on the boat on their way to the church, Vaughn started feeling sick again. Julia patted his shoulder and tried to improve his mood by telling silly jokes but she wasn't able to change anything.
"I can't. Julia. I can't go there. I'm not capable of doing so." She sighed.
"Vaughn. We all know that this isn't easy but you have to be a man now. A grown man, you know?", his cousin said and looked at him worriedly.
Vaughn thought about how they came close in the first place. It must have been when Chelsea's cow Berta had been sick and the farmer had no clue on how to care for her. Chelsea had been furious when she had come to Mirabelle's place and had described what had happened. She had forgotten to bring Berta inside the barn the night before and so the cow had grazed when it started raining. He remembered how annoyed he had been about this amount of irresponsibility. And about how he had to go to her farm before even the sun rose completely, caring for her goddamn cow. But when he had seen how much love Chelsea gave to her animals and that everything really had been a unique accident, he had given in and helped her.
"I think it's wonderful how you treat animals. I can tell you have got a good heart under all these cowboy rags. How can you wear this much clothing in the late spring anyway? It's getting hot.", Chelsea had asked while Vaughn patted Berta on the head. He had shrugged.
"Why did I have to come here at this time in the first place. It's like what? 5 am?" She laughed.
"Actually it's half past 5 and that's not even early for me. You know? A farmer has to get up pretty early in the morning." Again, he had shrugged.
"You could have waited until noon at least. You know, I need sleep, too." She had tried to raise an eyebrow but she hadn't been able to do so. She always looked pathetic trying it.
"I never could have waited this long for a vet to come and look after her. I didn't know you were the vet here.", she had added before she watched him giving her cow the medicine he had brought.
"I'm not a vet.", he had said while trying to calm down the cow, which wasn't exactly easy since the medicine had been everything put tasty.
"I'm just an animal dealer but it's my job that my livestock arrives at the client alive." He had looked up and watched her caressing Berta.
"Well, they should stay alive once they came there.", he had added. Chelsea had darted him an angry look.
"I do care for my animals. And you know that. Or why do you keep selling them to me if I'm that careless with them?", she had asked.
"Cash is cash.", he had replied simply.
"As if.", Chelsea had answered back. Although she didn't like when he talked this arrogantly, her face had softened.
"You love your animals. Wealth might be important to you but I can tell that you indeed got a good heart in there." With that, she had gone to him and patted his shoulder. His face had reddened a little bit and he had tried to hide it from her eyes but she had noticed.
"You look adorable when you blush, you know? You shouldn't always hide your face under that hat. Maybe you should take it off sometimes.", she had explained while her hand wandered near his head.
"Never", he had replied and dodged her attempts on grabbing the black Stetson off his head.
"Okay,", she had sighed "But then at least try not to hide those smiles of yours. I actually like it when you smile. It's genuine when you are smiling because you never do so." He had cleared his throat, still blushing and had looked back and forth between the girl in front of him and her cow.
"Berta should be healthy soon. Just give her some rest." he had said abruptly before he had turned and left the barn. He couldn't have stayed in there for much longer or he would have gone insane, her happiness and optimism had been too much for him to handle.
He wondered what she looked and felt like right now. Was she feeling this stomach-turning, heartbeat-accelerating emotion he couldn't name, as well? Probably not. Chelsea wasn't like him and she didn't feel the way he felt and he knew it. He couldn't imagine her feeling this pain in the gut right now. She probably stood in front of a mirror right now, eyeing herself in a gown that made her look even more beautiful. His stomach growled. He wasn't ready for this.
It had been after the annual cow contest on the meadows when it had happened. Berta had been in a good state again, actually, she seemed to feel better than ever and Chelsea had been able to win the competition. Berta indeed was an extraordinarily well-raised cow and her milk tasted better than anything Vaughn had ever tried. No wonder, Chelsea's porridge was the best he had been allowed to enjoy that far.
"Vaughn! Vaughn!", she had shouted through the people surrounding her when the contest had been over and she had received the prize money from Mirabelle. Her voice had been high as usual and her smile had been the brightest one on the whole island, maybe even in the whole country. She had hugged him tightly when she had arrived at him and he had seen tears of happiness in her eyes.
"I can't believe we made it.", she had exclaimed before placing a feathery light kiss on his lips. Before he could have even realized what had happened, she had blushed and run off to her friends. His fingers had rested on his mouth for some seconds before he had shaken his head, not sure if he had been dreaming the whole time. When he had noticed what he must have looked like, he had felt the urge to punch himself in the gut for being this... this... he couldn't even have named it.
"Vaughn, I really do hate to let you all by yourself now but I really have to go and help Chelsea. You know, bridesmaid stuff and so on." Julia hushed away in direction of the church and he noticed Mirabelle eyeing him.
"It's fine.", he finally said, not knowing to whom. "It won't take that long anyway." He made his way to the Harvest Goddess' pond where he stayed a bit, looking at the sun reflecting water.
"Have you ever seen something this magical?", Chelsea had asked him when they went to Mystic Island for the first time. She referred to the Goddess' sprite as the place where dreams came true. His gaze had lingered on her while he had answered her question. "No. I have never seen this much beauty in my life." She didn't notice he referred to her and not the lake but that was exactly what he had aimed for. He himself hadn't even known why he said cheesy things like that and where that came from. When she had taken him by the hand and led him to the water he had blushed slightly but she hadn't noticed either. She had taken out a blanket and placed it on the ground. She had sat down and begun to unpack some boxes containing food for a picknick. She had tapped on the space next to her to make him sit and he had observed what she had brought.
"Carrots", he had remarked while frowning at the orange vegetable. Chelsea had laughed at him for that.
"I can't believe how somebody can hate carrots this much. But no worries. They are all for me, even though I think it's a pity you won't even try my homegrown goods."
"That's not true.", he had replied. "I have already tried lots of your products. And your milk, for example, is excellent." She had blushed because he reminded her of their first kiss. He had blushed because he had to think of all the others they had shared by then. He still hadn't been sure about what to think of this whole situation but he couldn't decline that he liked it. But he had to think of other things then. He had to tell her something. Something important and he had no idea how to do so.
"Chelsea...", he had started but she was too distracted by the flourishing nature around her. He had caressed her cheek so she looked him straight in the eyes.
"Chelsea. I..." he had known that what he was about to tell her wouldn't appeal to her. To be accurate, he had known she would hate it.
"Yes, Vaughn?", she had replied, her eyes had been reflecting the lights coming from the sprite. They had the most intense blue he had ever seen in someone's eyes.
"Chelsea I got promoted.", he had finished, looking away, scared that she started crying.
"That's great! You always talk about how you deserve a promotion because of all the hard work you do!", she had answered. He had sighed.
"Chelsea... That means that I'm going back to the city. Completely." Her smile had fallen the second he had finished the sentence. She turned her head to the sprite and looked back to him. Her eyes had widened a bit.
"You mean... You won't visit this island any longer?" She had been looking at the blanket while Vaughn had tried to figure out how to explain everything to her.
"Yes... well..." he hadn't been able to find fitting words. "I won't come here anymore." Tears had filled her eyes and Chelsea had tried to express the thoughts coming into her mind.
"But... but what about us?", she had asked and he had only shrugged.
"What do you mean by 'us'? You live your life, I live mine as good as I can. Maybe we can see each other when I'm on my holidays." He had wanted to say something else. Especially when he had seen the hurt look on her face.
"You mean... you just want to go... and don't come back anytime soon? And you don't even care?" A tear had dropped onto the blanket and when Vaughn had reached her cheek to wipe the others away, she flinched back.
"Chelsea I do really like you but... think of all the possibilities. Maybe I can come back after this stage of my career but think of all the money I can earn. I'm sure it won't take long and I'll be back." He had tried to reassure her but her tears wouldn't dry down.
"Vaughn... How can you do this to me? How can you say something like this to me? Money? Are you serious? You want to end this because of money?" The betrayed look in her eyes had made him even more uncomfortable. He hadn't meant it like this. He had wanted to say something completely different and his heart had been burning because of the way everything of this had been turning out.
"Chelsea... You know you are important to me. More important than I might know myself but you have to admit how beneficial the extra income would be. And then I'll be back and..." She couldn't have held it any longer.
"Vaughn", she had cried out. "Vaughn I love you! Don't you recognize that? I love you with all my heart and you took it and shattered it because of money?". She had completely lost it. She had sprung up and ran away to the bridge, connecting the land with the main island.
"Chelsea.", he had muttered while he had tried to follow her but he stopped when he had heard her shout in tears.
"Don't you dare to run after me." Never he had thought he would hear those words from her. 'I love you.' Never had he even thought someone could feel this way about him and deep down he had known that he loved her as well but he hadn't acknowledged it yet.
When the church's door opened, all eyes were on him. He saw them all. Mirabelle was sitting next to Taro's family. Will, Sabrina and her father were present, Gannon and Eliza even sat in the front row, next to Chen and Charlie. Lily was next to Lanna who sat alone. Of course. Denny was the best man. Vaughn felt this bitter feeling rising in his throat. Denny sure would have been his best man as well. Vaughn sighed and took place in the very last row in the church.
Vaughn had accepted the promotion the same evening he had fought with Chelsea. He knew the damage he had caused and he hadn't been able to think of something to cheer her up. He had decided it had been best to do what he had intended to do the first time he stepped onto this island. Turn around and go back to the city. But it hadn't been the satisfying feeling he had hoped for when he had felt had the boat docking and the city lights had been reflected by the water. He had known. There hadn't been a going back.
Vaughn tried to look anywhere but at the islanders eyeing him. He didn't need their pity, if they really felt compassion for him they wouldn't attend this wedding in the first place. He knew that wasn't true. He knew exactly that those people weren't here because they were evil persons or because they hated him but much more because they loved Chelsea with all their hearts and wanted her to have the best day in her life. He should feel the same way but he simply couldn't approve it although it was all his mistake and he knew it.
When he had stepped on the sandy beach for the first time in a year, Vaughn could have smelled something was different. That something was wrong. It hadn't been because he had found Denny and Lanna licking each other's faces like dogs behind his hut and it hadn't been because Taro seemed to be happy. It was because of him. It was the very first time he had seen Mark and he had known that he hated him. Mark had seemed to be the perfect partner for Chelsea. He was a happy, funny, handsome. An annoying guy, everything a girl like Chelsea needed because of assholes like Vaughn. Mark was that kind of boy to bring flowers to the girl's door and to tell her how beautiful she looked once in every damn minute. And he was that kind of boyfriend whose goal was to make her happy. But what Vaughn made hate him most, was the fact that he has had his arm around Chelsea's waist and she hadn't been accusing him of sexual harassment. She had been indeed enjoying it, laughing, pointing at the clouds and simply had shone brighter than the sun. It had been that moment when Vaughn realized that he had lost everything he had ever desired. Everything he should have ever aimed for. He lost Chelsea.
"Hey man.", Vaughn recognized Denny's voice. His best and only friend was sitting next to him. "Aren't you supposed to be up there? You know doing best man stuff?" Denny sighed and looked at Vaughn worriedly.
"I don't know why you are doing this to yourself. This isn't the self-punishment someone deserves, not even an asshole like you." Vaughn raised his eyebrow.
"Believe me. I didn't want to come here. But I couldn't stay at home as well and I thought that if I wasn't here today, I would lose her forever." Denny watched his friend and rose his eyebrow.
"Vaughn. I'm sorry to say it but I guess you lost her when you entered that goddamn boat without telling anybody. She was miserable you know? She really liked you, if you didn't notice." Vaughn sighed again. When he saw Mark casually walking down the aisle he shuddered.
"Fuck.", he cursed. "Fuck this whole damn shit." Denny punched his arm lightly.
"We are in a church after all. And you couldn't know." Vaughn's gaze wandered to his feet. He wore those new black leather shoes and when he thought about how he had earned the money for them, he shuddered and felt the urge to throw them out of the window.
"Yes. Yes, I knew. She told me.", Vaughn replied without any emotions in his voice.
"She told you what?", Denny asked. Vaughn looked up.
"She told me she loved me. And I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I can't believe how stupid I was." Denny's eyes widened. "She told you she loved you and you got onto the next boat?!" Vaughn felt pure wrath in his whole body. Wrath because of his stupid actions. He won't let this mistake ruin his life and he knew what to do the moment Denny had gotten up to accompany Mark. The church bells rang and a traditional wedding march started playing. Julia entered the building but Vaughn didn't mind her. His gaze was on Chelsea only. She was the most stunning woman he had ever seen. Her hair was curly in an updo and her wedding gown emphasized all her curves and fitted like it was made just for her. Her veil was lacey and complemented her dress. Vaughn knew that this wedding wasn't going to happen. But how would he do it?
Vaughn thanked the Harvest Goddess when it was Nathan the priest of all who gave him his one and only chance.
"If there is anyone present who believes these two shall not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." Without even thinking Vaughn got up and went in the centre of the church with fast steps. When he arrived there everybody was staring at him, Mirabelle looked like she was about to faint. Chelsea's mouth fell open and her eyes grew big when Vaughn cleared his throat. "Chelsea.", he began, not really sure what he wanted to say. He stood tall and rubbed his chin. His eyes wandered from Mark to Chelsea and back. Then he locked with Chelseas eyes.
"Don't do this. I know I made horrible mistakes in the past and I will regret them forever. But please try to forgive me. I know that there is nothing I can do to make things undone but I will be there for you. Chelsea, I...", he was interrupted by the bride herself. She had tears in her eyes. "Vaughn", she said. "What you did was by far the most harmful experience I ever did in my life. But you don't know what love means. You don't know what it means to just live and love you always think about money first and you don't even recognize when people actually care for you. So what do you think you should do?" Denny ran up to Vaughn and tried to convince him to go back to his seat but Vaughn pushed him away.
"Does love mean you think about another person all day long? Does love mean that you can't feel anything but pure sadness when you are separated from them? Does love mean that you could kill somebody just because of someone touching the other person? Does love mean that you would give up everything you have so the other one can be happy? If that's what love is, then yes. I know what love is. I love you, Chelsea. I always have."