Jagnus || Shadowhunters || Jagnus || The Black Kitten's Luck || Jagnus || Shadowhunters || Jagnus
Title: The Black Kitten's Luck – Kitten Cuddles and Puppy Pain
Shadowhunters: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments
Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters show reserved to Ed Decter, the books the show is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.
Warnings: m/m, fluff, magic, cuddles, panic-attack, hurt/comfort
Main Pairing: Magnus/Jace
Shadowhunters Characters: Jonathan Christopher 'Jace' Wayland, Magnus Bane, Church
Summary: After Jace moved in with Magnus, he starts to cuddle a lot with a very particular kitten. A black one with golden-yellow eyes. Magnus only meant to use the magic to get to know the Shadowhunter now living with him. Alas, he grew much fonder of him that way.
The Black Kitten's Luck
Kitten Cuddles and Puppy Pain
Magnus Bane wasn't entirely sure why he had invited Jace Wayl... Lightwood to live with him.
Oh, he knew the main reason. There, in front of him, stood a broken, abused boy. Tortured by his own father, shunned by his own people. Alone. And while not being the best of friends, Magnus had grown fond of them all – Jace, Alec, Clary, Isabelle, even Simon – since they had started working together. Not to mention, Jace had chosen to go with Valentine to keep them all safe, Magnus included. That the Clave repaid him for his heroics by hunting him down like a criminal and then throwing him out on his ass...? Typical Clave, really.
So Magnus had taken him in because he could relate to Jace, in a way. And he wasn't a total monster. Really now. Sometimes, he wondered why he had such a soft heart.
Yet he did not have any personal ties to Jace. While he could respect what a strong warrior Jace was, he knew nothing about the boy (aside from the fact that Jace had been raised by Valentine and, apparently, Valentine truly was his father, but that was it. He knew no details).
Part of Magnus couldn't really fault Jace for it. The boy had nearly as many walls and masks up as Magnus. Then again, just from what Magnus guessed a childhood under Valentine's care must be like, Magnus felt pretty sick. He was sure reality was even worse. The boy was an abused child, a broken man now, having been abducted and tortured by his father – Magnus had seen and taken care of the injuries himself, when Jace had moved in with him a few days ago.
So yes, Magnus knew why the blonde was so shut-off, but it didn't help Magnus in feeling more at ease with his new roommate. So he decided to do a little investigating. Not exactly snooping. He wasn't going to hunt for Jace's diary (though if that existed, it surely would be an interesting read...), but there was a thing Magnus had noticed yesterday, by accident, when he had come home early from a meeting. Jace had been sprawled out on the floor in the living room, talking in a surprisingly soft voice to the kittens. Apparently, the Shadowhunter was better with animals than with people.
Good thing Magnus was a warlock with a little bit of magic. After all, it wasn't really snooping if Jace shared things willingly with him. Did it really matter if Magnus was human or cat...?
/break\
Jace still wasn't entirely sure why he had come to Magnus Bane. Well, no, he did know why. He just had trouble admitting it. Sighing, he made his way to the living room. Magnus had left earlier for something, so Jace was alone with the gazillion of cats. Three walked between his legs already, making Jace grin the slightest bit. He really liked the cats. Not that he was going to admit it or anything. But pets... Jace flinched as the image of his falcon passed through his inner eye.
"He—ey, Church", greeted Jace pleased as he spotted his favorite.
Church meowed and eyed him skeptically as Jace sat down on the ground crosslegged. Two kittens climbed into his lap right away. Scanning the crowd, Jace spotted two or three new faces. Not unusual. Apparently, not all cats actually lived with Magnus. One of the new guys in particular stared him down rather intensely. A large, black fluff-cat with piercing amber eyes. It was downright intimidating in the way it posed; not that Jace was intimidated by a cat.
"You guys new here too, mh?", whispered Jace toward the newbies.
The black fluff-cat meowed and walked up to him, closer. Jace tilted his head, his free hand not petting Church reaching out for the black cat, allowing it to sniff the hand curiously.
"Me too", hummed Jace, tilting his head. "Guess we're all strays at the mercy of Magnus Bane, huh? Good he's so generous then... I don't know where I'd be otherwise."
The new guy pranced over to him and sat down in front of him rather determined, amber-golden eyes staring at Jace like he demanded an answer, or something. Raising one eyebrow, Jace grasped the kitten around its torso and lifted it up to look at it curiously.
"You look an awful lot like Magnus", mused Jace. "You know, the same eyes and impeccable hair-style, that... respect-demanding stance. I know exactly what I'm going to call you. Mini Mag." Jace grinned slyly as he leaned in to whisper into the cat's ear. "It's gonna annoy Magnus so much."
Mini Mag hissed and swatted at him, thankfully without the claws. Laughing, Jace dodged the the paw and instead adjusted the gorgeous black tomcat so he was pressed against Jace's chest.
"It's just harmless teasing", chuckled Jace, smoothing the long fur down. "I am grateful to him. He has no idea how grateful. I really don't know where I'd be if he hadn't taken me in..."
Jace paused and slid down more on the ground, settling more comfortably. "The old Jace, Jace Wayland, he would have stayed at the Institute. He would have fought Aldertree."
The black cat purred softly, tilting his head curiously as though he wanted to hear how this continued. "I'm not that Jace anymore. I... I don't know who I am anymore. Guess I'm a Morgenstern now, but I'd rather die than call myself that. I don't... I can't be a Fairchild or Fray, because Jocelyn clearly would have rather seen me dead than check if I might have learned to control my demon-blood over the past years. I'm not a..." Jace took a shaky breath. "I'm not a Lightwood either, am I? I heard the stories. I know Maryse told Alec to 'cut his losses' while the DoA was out for me. I... Max, who is like a little brother to me, it was his Runing Party just the other day, you know? And he... told me I'm not his brother. That he heard Maryse say it so often, he started to believe it was true. And neither Maryse nor Robert cared enough to check on me after everything that had happened... She... She apologized to me, Maryse, but..."
Another pause and this time, Jace buried his face in Church's fur, the cat only barely disagreeing with it. "How do you tell two of your biological children that your adopted child doesn't matter? You... You don't... You don't say something like that, not if you don't mean it. Y—You don't... R—Right...? You don't say it often enough for your twelve-year old to parrot you because he heard it so often from his mother. So... So... I—I'm clearly not a wanted Lightwood. So who am I and where do I belong...? I don't... I don't know. I don't know where I belong anymore."
Taking a shaky breath, Jace leaned his head back onto the couch to stare at the ceiling. "I have five last names to pick from, but neither feels right. I had... I was a pretty famous Shadowhunter, you know. I was respected for my skills. Now? Now I'm Valentine's son. That's all anyone sees in me now. People I trained with for years, gone on missions for years, sneer at me now, whisper behind my back. I get... taken as a war prisoner and all I get from my people is... is that they throw me into a jail cell and torture me some more. And now... I'm just tired."
The cats snuggled up more to him, as though they wanted to comfort him. That was why he liked them. They just listened, didn't judge. They were soft and comforting. Jace liked soft and comforting things, like Alec-hugs, for example.
"I'm tired of proving myself to others", whispered Jace lowly, voice a little broken. "I'm tired of always fighting and trying to do my best to... to gain basic recognition from anyone. My... father. The Institute. The Clave. For years I thought I had to prove myself to the Lightwoods too, to earn a place to stay, and Izzy and Alec worked hard convincing me that I don't. That I was accepted there. But now... now that my father is Valentine Morgenstern...? Now no one trusts me anymore. I'm not even on square one, like when I was ten and came here. No, I'm in the negative count there. And... And I just don't have the energy to be the best of the best, to be perfect for them, just so they might accept me. If... they can't, then I don't need them."
Mini Mag meowed and brushed his head gently against Jace's, making him laugh.
/break\
Magnus knew that after the first time, he should have stopped turning into a cat to get to know Jace, but it was oddly addictive. To see the closed-off Shadowhunter open up like that, say aloud things he might have never voiced to a human before, too afraid to seem weak.
It was frightening just how well Magnus knew Jace by now. All those details of his childhood with Valentine and then with the Lightwoods, of how he had first met Alec and learned to trust him – the first human Jace learned to truly trust. How Jace had felt about meeting Clary, about learning she was his sister. How Jace felt about them all; that he was grateful to Magnus for taking him in, for helping them, that he very well knew that Magnus' generosity was not a given. That was a nice change. He had weeks ago started to believe the Shadowhunters took his help for granted.
Magnus' favorite thing however was how utterly gentle Jace was with the cats. Specifically with the new girl. A tiny striped kitten, very unsure of her feet as she had first found her way into the loft. Jace had instantly adopted her, personally. He hand-fed her to fatten her up a little because the poor thing was quite starved, he had even taken to carrying her inside the hood of his hoodie, something that Magnus in his normal human body had noticed.
"You... have a something in your hoodie", stated Magnus amused, vaguely gesturing at the kitten.
Jace grunted and reached a hand out to pat the little one's head. "That's Bastet. She's cold."
"Bastet?", echoed Magnus curiously, not yet having heard the name Jace had given the kitten.
"After the... Egyptian cat goddess", offered Jace reluctantly.
"I do know that, little Shadowhunter", snorted Magnus amused. "Why that name?"
Jace paused, watching Magnus wearily for another moment, before he spoke next. "I used to have a falcon. As a child. I... had named him Horus, after the god. I thought it fitting, I don't know. I haven't had a pet since Valentine broke Horus' neck."
Magnus paused in his steps. They were slowly growing closer, Magnus had allowed himself to be more inquisitive and open toward Jace after he had first heard the blonde open up to the cats. So Magnus was persistent, even when Jace had shot him down at first. And Magnus had also been willing to open up himself – feeling like he owed Jace, after listening in on his hidden secrets. The two of them had found a common ground since then, based on childhood trauma and having horrible fathers, on having mothers who were unwilling to be their mothers just because of their demon-blood. It was surprising how much pain the two of them shared, in the end.
"Bastet is a beautiful name", stated Magnus with a small smile. "And she seems to adore you."
Bastet meowed as though she agreed, happily nestled into the hood. The smile on Jace's lips as he looked at her was so soft, Magnus had so far only seen it when he had been in cat-form.
"Do you have any wishes for dinner, Jace?", asked Magnus casually after a moment. "I have to admit, I was feeling like Italian. It's been far too long since I last had spaghetti."
There was a strange, long pause, before Jace shook his head and got up, the smile gone and his face closed-off in a way it hadn't been around Magnus for a few days now. "I'm... not hungry."
Magnus raised his eyebrows at that, watching the blonde head toward his room. And oh, when had the guestroom officially become Jace's room? Right. When Magnus had listened to Jace admitting that he felt disconnected from everything and like he had no place to belong to.
"...I really did take in another stray, didn't I, Church?", asked Magnus and heaved a sigh.
Church just purred, lazily whipping his tail back and forth as he stared Magnus down in a judgmental way. Rolling his eyes, Magnus contemplated using his magic to investigate, or if he should just go and corner Jace himself. In the end, he was surprised to take the second option.
"Jace, open the door", requested Magnus, knocking on the bedroom door.
"I—I...", started Jace, sounding a little breathless.
Sighing once more, Magnus opened a portal and entered the room through it, finding Jace in front of the door, curled together. Approaching him, Magnus lifted his hands carefully.
"Hey", whispered Magnus gently. "Can I touch you, Jace?"
Jace shook his head sharply, just to then nod even harder and then shake his head again. "I—I... I don't know. I just... need a moment to... I..."
"It's alright. You're having a panic-attack, but it's alright", assured Magnus very gently. "You're at the loft. You're safe. He's gone. He's not here, he won't take you again, I won't let him take you again. Jace, look at me. He's not here, you're safe, you're home."
As Jace slowly calmed down, he looked at Magnus nearly longingly. "Can you... would you..."
"Anything you need, sweetheart", whispered Magnus gently.
Jace leaned forward and clung onto Magnus' shirt, face buried in Magnus' chest. Tenderly, Magnus wrapped his arms around Jace's torso to pull him closer and Jace allowed it, eagerly leaning in. As they stayed like this for a while, Jace slowly calmed down fully, still breathing hard.
"Will you tell me what triggered you, Jace?", asked Magnus softly.
"It's stupid", grunted Jace frustrated, still clinging onto the warlock.
"...That why you walked out?", inquired Magnus, looking down at the mess in his arms. "Because you're embarrassed about it? You don't have to, Jace. I had hoped you understood that you can trust me. That I'll not judge you for your trauma, that I'll listen to you."
"Spaghetti", muttered Jace after a long moment. "He... It was one of the few positive memories I had of my childhood. One of the good things. On the ship, he... he made spaghetti for me and I realized... it... When I was a child, I clung onto it, I thought it meant he loved me, I thought that was the norm and the other stuff was the exception. But I realized... I'm just a dog to him. And the spaghetti, they were a reward, to motivate me. Like a treat for a dog who performed a good trick. H—He took one of the rare good memories I had and perverted it..."
With a wave of one hand behind Jace's back did he make the spaghetti and tomato sauce he had bought earlier disappear from the kitchen, before his arms cradled Jace even closer. He buried his face in the golden-blonde hair, holding Jace close.
"...You called it home", muttered Jace after another long minute. "You said this was home. But I'm just... just crashing here, as your house-guest, Magnus."
"Jace", laughed Magnus softly, shaking his head. "You stopped being a house-guest weeks ago. You live here. This is your home. You were looking for a place to belong and if you want to, this can be your place to belong. This can be your home, if that's what you want."
"Why?", asked Jace confused, tilting his head up to look at Magnus, but still not letting go.
"Because I care about you", replied Magnus honestly, caressing Jace's cheek.
"Why?", repeated Jace, now even more confused.
"You're a good person", stated Magnus simply, cupping Jace's face. "Do not huff at me, young Shadowhunter. You are. I've seen the abyss. You and I shared that over too many drinks often enough by now. And it's not chasing me away. It makes me care even more about you."
"Care about me", echoed Jace, slowly leaning away.
He was trying to compute this. Magnus Bane cared about him. He wasn't just a burden to the warlock, he wasn't just some stray Magnus had taken in out of pity. All their conversations, the ones he cherished but also feared at the same time, because he felt lighter as he spoke those fears out aloud but at the same time it frightened him that he opened himself to Magnus like this.
Jace felt at home here. The loft, yes, but even more so right here where he was – in Magnus' arms. They were warm and comforting and safe. Jace could stay here forever.
Truth be told, he had fallen for the warlock, the longer he stayed at the loft. The more they shared with each other, talked and laughed. Magnus was understanding, but also funny and gorgeous.
"How... much?", asked Jace unsure, biting his lips.
"Excuse me?", grunted Magnus confused.
"How... much do you care? Enough to... kiss me?", wanted Jace to know.
He was bating his breath, thinking that he had overstepped. That Magnus would laugh and shove him away and throw him out after all. Loosening his fingers from Magnus' shirt, he tried to get away as the thought of having wanted too much made him feel afraid. But Magnus grasped his wrists and held him close. The warlock's eyes flickered amber-golden, making Jace gasp. He had only heard about the warlock-mark so far, read it in Magnus' file when they had first prepared to meet the High Warlock, but this was his first time seeing it – and it was beautiful.
"Hold still, puppy", ordered Magnus lowly as he leaned in to kiss him.
It was a soft touch of lips, feeling far more loving than any kiss Jace had ever experienced. When they parted, Jace was flushed and panting, staring up at the warlock in confused amazement.
"Wait. Puppy?", grunted Jace in mild protest.
"You said Valentine thought you were his dog. You're not. You're a very sweet and gentle little puppy. A stray, in need of shelter and love", hummed Magnus lowly, caressing Jace's cheek.
"...Sweet and gentle?", muttered Jace in more protest.
"Oh yes, you are", argued Magnus firmly, kissing Jace's jawline. "My sweet and gentle puppy. And I will not allow for anyone to take you away again like he did."
"Stupid over-sized kitten", muttered Jace with a weak glare, leaning into Magnus.
"Meow", grinned Magnus mischievously.
"You're horrible, Mag", sighed Jace and shook his head.
"Mag?", echoed Magnus in protest this time around.
"I've been calling you that for weeks now. If you call me a puppy, you sure as hell are not getting to argue this nickname, Mag", grunted Jace with a deadpan.
"You have not", disagreed Magnus, raising one eyebrow.
"Oh yes, I have, Mini Mag", countered Jace unimpressed, leaning in to kiss Magnus again softly. "Oh, please. You didn't think I didn't notice, right? We literally fought a warlock who turned into a cat to hide among your cats a few weeks ago. After that, I became skeptical of your cats and I grew particularly suspicious of Mini Mag, the Magnus-looking cat who oddly enough only appeared at the loft while you were out, while all other cats were around at random."
"Mh. Why haven't you called me out on it yet then?", inquired Magnus curiously.
"I... I was... enjoying it", shrugged Jace, averting his eyes. "It's easy talking to the cats. And I figured that you being a cat was what made you... open up to me, as a human. And I enjoy that too. You and I, we... click. I talked to you about things I've never shared with anyone."
"It's the same for me, puppy", confirmed Magnus, pulling Jace close to kiss once more.
"Good... kitten", whispered Jace with a teasing grin.
~*~ The End ~*~
Author's note: I am so gods damn is love with this ship. They're beautiful and gorgeous and perfect.