Shoe Ads Can Be Very Decieving Chapter 1, an one piece fanfic

Woo~ So this here fiction was just a random burst of inspiration on my part. So don't think too much of it~ It's basically just a parodyish/seriousish self-insert thingy cause why not. And it's nothing like my other one if anyone remembers that~ Be warned though, this is just on a random whim, so I may never finish and chapters will probably be short (unless you all are kind enough to drop off an encouraging review or two. Or three. Three would be nice). Plus, I'm going to be evil and never tell you the main characters name, and only give the bare bones of the physical description.

Disclaimer- I am not owner of any canon material!

I opened the door to great wide world, the ocean right in front of me. I couldn't smell it though, my sense of smell is crap, plus I had a stuffy nose. I sucked in air through said stuffy nose, causing all mucus and other such nonsense within to rush back up into my sinuses, causing momentary relief. But sadly, the action triggered one of those abnormal coughy-sneeze things.

I sat down on my sandy porch. My summer house was rather spiffy, if I do say so. My parents bought it before I was born, and now it was mine. For the day at least, my dear parents were off doing parentish stuff.

I sneezed, then went back inside. I seemed to be coming down with a cold, if you hadn't noticed already. The fresh air was supposed to help, but it hadn't. I decided to snuggle up in some blankets up in my room, so I would be warm and uncold. So snuggle up in some blankets I did.

I looked around for my iPad, I had probably misplaced it again, like always. As I gazed around the room from within my blanket-cocoon, my eyes fell upon my emergency fall-into-a-fictional-world kit. It had always been my greatest ambition to do this very thing, so of course I was prepared. But enough with that, my iPad was calling me. After much looking around in vain, I finally saw it sitting right beside my bed, charging. Who would've thought? I picked the device up, the faux-leather case room-temperature under my fingertips. I averted my face to let out another sneeze, then flipped open the cover, typed in my passcode, and got comfy.

An hour later, I finished the eBook I had been reading. I had started this particular novel a few days before, so I had been pretty far in already. I shut off the device momentarily, looked around, turned it back on, and then proceeded to peruse the interwebs. A tasty looking fanfic caught my eye. "The Magical Self Insert" was the title. I opened it up and began reading (the summary).

I was just a normal girl and stuff, until I fell into a fictional world. Then all my powers suddenly activated, and my hair turned pink and green and rainbow. Then the main character fell in love with me. But there is a mystical twist to all this clicheness… (TRUE STORY)

I read through the first chapter of the fiction, which was currently the only chapter available. At the bottom, an author's note stared up at me.

HEY!3! SO WAT DID U ALL THNK OF MY FIC!1!1121!1 Just kidding XD Seriously though? This is a true story, no lie. I actually got sent to a fictional world. You know that ad on the bottom of the page? Click on that and you may get a special surprise ;)

I stared at the ad. It was nothing unusual, just some shoe advertisement. A lame looking shoe advertisement at that. The author person must be endorsed by the shoe company or something. But it looked tempting, no harm in trying it out. Except for the possible chance of viruses being downloaded onto my iPad. That wouldn't bode well with my dear parents. But oh well~

I collected my fall-into-a-fictional-world kit and checked to make sure everything was still there [just in case the ad-thingy actually worked (If sending you to a fictional world was the surprise in the first place, maybe it was a cat video or something)]. It was a rather large knapsack I had bought for two bucks at a garage sail. I had taped a paper sign to the front with the previously mentioned title of the kit, and it had some shmancy pencil décor scribbled on. Inside the medium pocket of the knapsack was a slightly-used build-your-own-power-source set, a small internet router, an old walkie-talkie, a plastic radio, and a worn survival handbook, all from the same garage sale. The five or so small pockets contained a variety of survival materials, from a hand ax to a compass, a Swiss army knife to a magnifying glass. Don't ask how I came about some of these things. Just know that I have read a few surviving-on-a-deserted-island-books, and know a few people (*coughparentscoughactuallycoughingnowcough*). The largest pocket was the most important. This was where I kept most of my summer books and manga, as well as a couple bits of merchandise, clothing, chargers, a laptop, and other necessities (the fall-into-a-fictional-world kit also doubled as my luggage for the sake of people thinking I was normal). Every pocket had a few snacks hidden away, in case I got hungry in my descent to a fictional world. I zipped it all back up, sure in my knowledge that I had everything that all other self-inserts always forgot to bring for some reason.

I sucked in my breath, inching my finger closer and closer to the shoe ad, the fall-into-a-fictional-world kit clutched firmly in my other hand. Even though it was highly unlikely to work, there was no shame in being dramatic.

My finger connected to the screen. I sneezed loudly, and reopened my eyes to a swirly screen, the shoe in the ad smack dab in the middle. "SURPRISE! YOU WIN!" read the screen in bold flashing letters. It didn't work…? Phooey. I closed the tab and touched the home button. To my utter sadness, notifications informing me of a virus attack popped up. More phooey.

I sneezed again, then felt my eyes drooping. Within a few minutes, I was asleep. I didn't notice the crawling sensation on my forehead…

Heh. Just kidding, again~ But who knows...? *poofs away*