"You gave me all your love
& all I gave you was goodbye."
-Taylor Swift
He didn't know what possessed him to do what he did that night. Maybe it was what Ginny had said. Maybe it was the rush of winning the match thanks to him, everybody cheering his name. Maybe it was the feeling that Hermione had kissed some other guy. Maybe it was a mixture of all of those. He did know that he was looking straight at Ginny, locking eyes with her as Lavender Brown spoke to him. He wasn't really listening to her. Before he knew it, his lips kept into contact with hers and they snogged. Ginny was staring at them, her mouth gaped open.
Lavender's body got closer and closer to his as she kissed him more and more passionately, letting the moment take her farther. No gap could be found between their bodies. People were cheering around them, making the adreline in his body kiss her again and again. He had no clue of what he was doing, but Lavender seemed to respond to the messy attack he made to her face just fine.
People eventually turned away from the couple and Lavender decided to get some oxygen.
"Let's go somewhere else," she suggested. "Somewhere more private."
Ron let her take his hand. He was still so dizzy from the kiss he didn't know what he was doing. They ran through the hallways, picking out a room and storming in. Lavender's giggles were contagious, causing Ron to laugh, too.
Lavender was still on about cloud nine and ran out of the room without realizing what was happening. Ron lingered in the room for a little while. Hermione told him she would be wondering where he went if he didn't leave.
Ron knew he wasn't welcome when a flock of canaries attacked him as he ran out of the room and after Lavender.
"Bloody birds..." he mumbled other words that are better left in disclosure.
"What happened?" Lavender asked.
"Nothing," he took her hand and headed down the corridor, her giggling along with him. As they reached the tower, they kissed again.
Lavender Brown had been entirely convinced that Ronald Billius Weasley was the best thing to ever happen to her life. Ron liked her, to be honest, she was adventurous, she preferred him. In her eyes, he wasn't just the best friend of the Boy Who Lived. With her, he was the hero. The one who swooped her off her feet. In her eyes, he was ten times better than what Harry Potter could have ever been and Ron loved that.
With her, he wasn't the boy whose family could not afford anything. He wasn't the boy with the hand-me-down uniform and old pet rat. He didn't have to live up to any expectations. Instead of being forgotten and average and only the youngest boy whose accomplishments didn't matter, he was the first one. He was number one and not number six or seven.
After all, he was the sidekick. The sidekick always lacks all of the skills the hero has. The sidekick is always less loved and overlooked. No matter how hard he worked to help the hero achieve anything. It didn't matter. There was no recognition for sidekicks. Only for heroes. Harry Potter was better than him in everything. Even sometimes, Ron could see how much his mother probably preferred him, too. Everything revolved around Harry. It always did. It always will.
But not with her. The world revolved around him when he was with her.
She was the audience he always wanted. She gave him her all. She loved him.
Eventually, she was just an annoying girl who had the right to cling onto him with all her might and kiss him instead of making conversation. Whenever she spoke, he didn't listen anymore. He stared off into the distance, the words his younger sister had said danced through his head.
"That's because you've got as much experience as a twelve-year-old!"
Then, he would kiss her and not listen to anything she had to say. He didn't care. He just wanted to prove he had what she wanted. Each time he kissed her, Lavender was more and more breathless, he could tell. Sometimes she would even tell him that he became some sort of expert.
He found it easier to be attracted to her when he placed a certain girl in her place. Pretend that she wore strawberry lipstick, and pretend it was her in his arms in front of the fireplace. As he thought of her, he even said three little words out loud that meant everything to him and he gave them away to the wrong person. When he realized this, he wanted to kick himself. Those words were not for Lavender, but she took them anyway like they were her own.
Lavender became some sort of trophy, but the glory only lasted so long.
After the whole poisoning incident, he avoided her. He didn't want to be with her anymore. The drug that she once was lost all of his effect on him, and he was desperately searching his mind for more. More of that fame, more of that glory. Just so he could feel wanted by someone.
After all, his whole life, he had never been special. He wasn't the girl that his mother always wanted, he didn't know how to live up to the expectations set in front of him. Sometimes, he pondered whether or not he should even try. After all, what did it matter? If he did it, no one cared. After all, Bill, Charlie, Percy and possibly the twins had already done it.
But if he didn't live up to them, he would be the disappointment of the family. That was not acceptable.
Maybe it was that Lavender was some sort of fill-in to some extend. When Hermione wasn't there, he was with her. He even hurt Hermione in the process of it all. Making her cry in class with an immitation that Pavarti and Lavender found incredibly funny wasn't exactly the way to go. But what could he do? That was like his defense mechanism.
When they made up, a little while after, Lavender broke up with him. He was finally free from her grasp.
Yet, there was something gnawing at his chest. Guilt, maybe. When Lavender cried as he brushed snow off of Hermione, he couldn't help but feel bad.
He hurt her for his own personal gain. He let go of the one thing that had loved him above all things in a way that was completely unfair to her.
He owed her so much, and he never said thank you.
Thoughts? I don't know how this came out, but I'm actually sort of proud of it. I'm really loving doing all of these. I love Hermione/Ron but I also love to write about Lavender. I didn't think I would come up with this so fast, but I did, do there you go. (: I might do Hermione's side of this or even what Ginny thought about it. Who knows?