A/N: Inspired by a chapter I'm writing for one of my other stories- I'm laughing so hysterically right now! Who knew that a death!fic could be so much fun to write?
Summary: Crack!fic. Death!fic. Dean decides he's had enough of Michael nagging him to say yes to being his vessel.
Rating: T for mild language and bloodshed
Dean stared at the blank piece of paper. He rolled the pen between his fingers. Rubbed his eyes until white stars appeared. He picked up the pen again and began:
"I, Dean Winchester, being of sound mind do hereby bequeath my 1967 Chevrolet Impala to Samuel Winchester…"
He set the pen down, rested his head against his hands. A few tear drops fell onto the paper, causing some of the ink to bleed.
Dean quickly dashed away the tears, glancing around furtively to see if anyone had noticed, despite the fact that he was alone in the room. Took a deep breath, regaining his composure. He steeled his resolve and continued to write.
About an hour and an entire bottle of Jack Daniels later Dean signed the Will with a shaky flourish and a deep sigh.
Folded it up, placed it in an envelope.
"To Michael (the Archangel) and Sammy" it was addressed.
He picked up the gun that was laying on the table top beside the whiskey bottle and his writing equipment. Slowly lifting it, he stared at it for several moments before turning it to his head and pulling the trigger.
Blood splattered the pristine white envelope that he clutched in his hand.
~Several Hours Later~
Sam's eyes were wide, his face ashen and his voice was high pitched, like someone had kicked him in the nuts, "What the hell? He left me the Impala but he gave Bobby his leather jacket?"
Michael's lips moved as he silently read the will for the third time rereading the clause, 'If found dead of natural or unnatural causes, do not resuscitate.'
"This can't be legally binding!" Michael exclaimed angrily, "Here Sam, you were the pre-law student, tell me, do I have to abide by this?"
Sam examined the document, "Yeah, Michael, I'm afraid you do. It was signed by two witnesses- Roger Daltry and Steven Tyler."
"Damn it!" Michael cursed.
The End