A/N: It's crack, mostly. And it's not finished yet, because I tend to get sucked in watching the episode AGAIN, when I should just let it roll and shorten whaever they are saying. :) Comments are really aprreciated, and they can make me write faster. They are for me like spinach for Popeye.
Besides, is ot just me being blind, or is there only one or two other 'Study in Pink' parodies?
Warnings? A bit of not entirely nice language. But no 'f**k' every other word, don't worry, it's not that kind of 'funny'.
So on with 'STUDY IN PINK!'
BOMBS: KAAAA-BOOM!
GUNS: Yippie Kay Yay!
SOLDIERS: HELLO!
VIEWERS: What the…? (checking TV schedule, if it really is 'Sherlock')
JOHN: I'm lonely. I'm lonely, and sad. I'm sad, lonely and miserable. I'm sad, miserable, lonely and…
THERAPIST : How's your blog?
JOHN: … And I didn't expect this kind of Spanish Inquisition. Hey, are you drawing there very indecent things with Johnny Depp on that pad instead of taking notes?
THERAPIST: That's it, you're sooo getting 'TRUST ISSUES' for this. By the way, did you think of writing under pseudonym? Arthur Conan Doyle has a nice ring to it. Or Arthur Dent. There's something A. D. about you…
JOHN: Talk some more and there will be something very M.A.D. about me...
SHERLOCK
STUDY IN PINK
Created by Those Awsome Guys That Made Doctor Who
Starring: Benedict ' AWSOME HOTPANTS' Cucumberbatch, Martin 'SOOO CUDDLY' Freeman, and some other guys (almost) no one cares about.
Shortened by Milwaukee Meg
WOMAN: A CAB!
MAN: What?
WOMAN: I don't know, I just have to say A CAB!
MAN: I don't understand you, sweetie. I'll get A CAB. Oh, and I'll commit suicide, just because. (swallows the pill and dies)
VIEWERS: That wasn't Sherlock Holmes, was it? (checking TV schedule again)
TEENAGER #1 : Oh look, A CAB! That reminds me, I have to go totally the opposite way I was going and get enormously wet so I can get an umbrella to keep me dry. Bye!
TEENAGER #2: Whut? … My watch is telling me that whatever you said it was completely rubbish, so I'll go after you.
TEENAGER #1: Aw, man, I'm going to the pool, because there isn't enough water around in the rain… And I'm not even thinking of drowning myself, because I've got those pills. There's really something wrong with me, I think (cries and dies)
VIEWERS: (mumble something while desperately checking TV schedule)
WORKER #1: I took her CAR KEYS!
POLITICAN: I…
VIEWERS: WE DON'T CARE! Where's Sherlock!
LESTRADE: Those are suicides…
TEXTS: WRONG!
LESTRADE: We're working…
TEXTS: WRONG!
LESTRADE: So we're thinking…
TEXTS: WRONG!
LESTRADE: I'm surrounded by idiots.
TEXT: WRO… RIGHT. Right, right now, but you know where I am, so I can prove you wrong. SH
MIKE: JOHN? John Watson! Hi, let me talk just how fortunate I am in my life, and how crappy it must be to get shot at!
JOHN: Crap. Do you actually notice, Mike, that I'm trying to be as unnerving as I can? With this cheerfulness you spoil my emo image.
MIKE: Oh, so you want to be a tragic hero, then? Well, you should get yourself a flatmate out of Hell.
JOHN: (cheerfully) Yes, what I need right now is to wallow in more self pity! Hooray! (skips a beat) (wallowing in self pity) I mean, oh, shucks, who would want to live with me…
MIKE: You know, I just know some Holmes to your Watson…
VIEWERS: OMG Sherlock! At last! I wonder if he's going to be crazy like RDJ Holmes, or rather collected like Brett or maybe…
SHERLOCK: … maybe something like Hannibal Lecter, just to freshen up a beat. A bit, I mean.
MOLLY: Do you want 'coffee'? And by 'coffee' I mean dating, and by 'dating' I mean hot sex in…
SHERLOCK: Coffee, black, two sugars. Oh, you're wearing the lipstick, and by 'you're wearing a lipstick' I mean you can forget it. Really forget it. Like in 'FORGET IT' written 500 times over a building in yellow paint.
MOLLY: Ohh, I love you, Tiger, bring the riding crop, I'll be up with 'coffee' in a minute!
SHERLOCK: (sigh)
VIEWERS: YESSSS! THEY ARE TOGETHER! AT LAST!
SHERLOCK: I'm quick, I'm brilliant, I prefer to text, and I'm acting like a asshole. You're moving in with me tomorrow.
JOHN: But…
SHERLOCK: Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. And now… Time for dramatic EXIT!
JOHN: But…
MIKE: Serves you right for bullying me at Barts while we were studying! HA.
MRS HUDSON: Hey, I'm your landlady, not housekeeper, but seeing that you just moved in... I'll feed the slashers for you today, but only this once! So, you won't be needing two bedrooms, you make such a nice couple, and there are married ones just behind that wall, so you might go on double dates! I'm so happy for you two!
JOHN: I'm not gay! We're not gay! We're not together! Not now, not ever! And I'm not in denial!
SLASHERS: Yeah, right. (while writing PWP with riding crop involved)
JOHN: By the way, I saw your page, Sherlock. Science of Seduction. Deduction. Whatever. And you say you recognize programmers by their ties?
SHERLOCK: Yup, even though they are tricky ones… It's easy to mistake them with evil criminal masterminds, sometimes. Of course it won't happen to me…
LESTRADE: Hello, you might want to report burglary, when I went in through those really open wide door I just passed some guys leaving with Mrs Hudson's TV set, wardrobe and a kitten. But never mind that, there is a note left by another victim of murderous suicide.
SHERLOCK: First things first, Detective Inspectacular. (dramatic poses) Do you feel inferior?
LESRADE: … No.
SHERLOCK: Damn. (some more dramatic poses) And now?
LESTRADE: Maybe a bit… No, not really.
SHERLOCK: Damn. Time for dramatic poses AND insults. (makes dramatic poses AND insults)
LESTRADE: (sigh) Okay, just come, Your Almost Majesty. (leaves)
SHERLOCK: HELL, yes! Suicide note, how FUNNY! Yippie! Hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! Oh, I'll leave now, stay here and make yourself a bit more emo, will you John? Bye, bye, bye, hugs and kisses to everyone, I've got A CASE! (leaves singing)
JOHN: (baffled) What the hell had just happened?
VIEWERS: (BAFFLED) What the HELL had just HAPPENED?
SHERLOCK: (coming back) So… Want to do something illegal, dangerous, with scenes of violence and gore?
JOHN: I'm just back from Afghanistan, I've got a therapist, PTSD, psychosomatic limp, nightmares and you want me to go with you to investigate some murders? OH GOD, YES, of course I'm coming!
SLASHERS: That 'OH GOD, YES' will haunt my dreams now (shuddering, going back to slash writing now with the 'OG,Y' quote)
A/N - So... What did you think?